Closer and closer

Well I'm into my usual pre-trip frenzy. Trying to remember to pack everything, what do I need, how many? I'll pack and unpack at least once.

I took my own advice and went back and looked at the posts from last time. Among the notes was that I averaged about 8 miles a day in Minneapolis. That would be 16,000 steps! We'll see how I do. My hotel is a little way away from the Convention Center so I'll get a minimum amount of walking in any way.

Back to being the White Rabbit...

Peace

And we're off!

Like a couple thousand others I will be in Columbus Ohio starting on Monday for the General Convention of the Domestic and Foreign Missionary Society of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States. Or just The Episcopal Church (TEC). I'm not a deputy but will be there as the Province II youth ministry coordinator, working with a group of 18 young people who will be the voice for their age group to the convention. They are an amazing group of young people and it's always a blast to work with them.

It is my plan to update this blog at least every other day, and hopefully EVERY day with my observations of what the GC is like. I might even try a photo or two. Plus I will be logging my steps each day. I use a step meter (which measures steps rather than distance as a pedometer does) as part of a somewhat successful get in shape plan. Approximately 2000 steps equals a mile (I average about 5000 a day normally over a week) So we'll see how much ground I cover.

If you have questions post them in the comment section or email me and I'll answer them if and as I can.

General Convention is an absolutely amazing event, both good and bad. It's part business meeting, floor fight, family reunion, and act of worship (liturgical and praxis) I won't even pretend that I'm an "insider" or "mover and shaker" in our denomination. I'm a youth minister from a small diocese in WNY. What I hope to offer is more of an every day guy look at this event.

This blog actually started as a way to do the same thing at our last GC. You may want to sift back into the archives to check out my impressions from that time in Minneapolis. I think this year's posts will be different since I have some idea of what to expect.

Please pray for our church, the young people and yr humble srvnt,

Peace

Life is like Math class

This is my June column for our diocesan newspaper "ChurchActs".


I still feel sorry for my math teachers. How shall I put it? I was not a gifted math student. In fact I had to struggle every year right into college with math. Eventually I got it to the point that I passed all of those classes but it took lots of work. I had to go over things and over things and over them again. It must have been frustrating at times for those teachers.
As I read the Gospels I'm sure that Jesus must have the same feelings. How many times does he have to explain something over and over to his disciples? How many times does he realize that that they STILL don't get it? It must have been hard on the disciples as well thinking that they've finally “gotten it” only to have Jesus take them back over it again.
In the end that's a reassuring thing for me though. Because Jesus DOES go back over it with them. He tries to find new ways to explain the same concepts And he never gets fed up and just orders them away. His greatest concern seems to be not that they need things repeatedly explained but rather that he only has so much time to try and get the concepts across. There aren't years and years and years of time to work it all out. In the end he knows that he can't finish the work and that there will still be learning for his disciples to do after he is gone from this world. They'll stumble and struggle and work their way toward the lesson all their lives. Along the way they'll have to repeat lessons over and over again with the folks that will come after them. It's a never ending cycle.
And that is the good news. We live in an age that wants certainty. Answers should be clear and concise. Everything needs to be fast and bite sized and not take up too much of our time. Unfortunately I don't think that's what the Gospels teach us is going to happen. We should expect a long process of learning, we should expect that we're going to get some of it wrong and that we'll have to set aside our easy answers for more hard questions. Out of that uncertainty we will be required to allow a little extra room for the others that are trying to follow the same path. What may look like a swerve off course may turn out to be the next turn that we needed to take.
In our national life and our faith life we meet lots of people who have decided that they've “got it”, that they've nailed it completely. I'm willing to grant that it might even be possible but the history of humanity argues against it. Too many times we've declared that we know all there is to know on some subject only to have it thrown back into our faces. That desire for certainty comes very often from our need to order our world the way we want it. The recurring lesson of the Gospel is that we need to be open to how God has chosen to order the world.
As we head into the summer take a moment to remember whatever subject you struggle with, where you have to go over and over till you “get it”. Remember that God is patient and is willing to work with you till you get it. Then transfer that patience to folks all around you. They're struggling just like you trying to figure out how they are supposed to live their lives.
I never thought I'd say it, but life is just like math class.

Peace

Gman's Memorial day weekend Qs

Feeling like I'm gettin' called out on this weeks questions so here we go. You'll find G-man's answers through the link in the title.

"Wherefore comfort one another with these words" - 1 Thess. 4:18

1. How are you comforting one another?
Call it a ministry of presence. I'm just trying to be there for some folks.

2. What does your Youth ministry do in the summer?
When I was still doing congregational stuff we took the summer off mostly. One event a month, something fun - go canoeing, hit the amusement park, etc. Now it's CAMP TIME!!!!!!!

3. How far in advance do you plan?
Not nearly far enough. I'm trying to get at least 6 months ahead. We can usually lay out the rough dates for a program year.

4. What is something frustrating for you this week?
My ongoing struggles with my mother's estate. Don't even get me started.

5. What is something encouraging for you this week?
Spent some time meeting with various folks at the diocese and came away encouraged with their ideas and support for youth ministry.

6. How are you spiritually?
Ummmmm, not where I'd like to be. Just kind of marking time.

7. What are you watching on TV?
Season finales and series finales for West Wing, ER, Numbers, Two and a Half Men, all the CSI's, etc


A. Prayer - Watch over my friend Lee who is struggling mightily with serious problems
B. Praise - I'll say it again, you did great work with the lady in my life!
C. Other - As my church heads into our national convention be with us.

Copyright 2006. Gerrard R. Fess. Permission to pass everywhere. Especially those
thinking the Sabres-Canes series is going to be a long one. (That would be me! Go Sabres!)

Peace

As promised...and late

I promised that I'd share my thoughts on the movie "The Da Vinci Code" after seeing it last weekend and one thing after another has gotten in the way. So here are my quick thoughts on the movie, as both a movie lover and youth minister.

As a Movie - I really enjoyed the movie. My feeling was that the tempo was a little slow but given the amount of explaining that had to be done that may be impossible to avoid. There's a lot of folks who claim that if you didn't read the book you won't understand the film and I think that's nonsense. I read the book and got confused in a couple of places. If you have to understand everything about a movie you watch take a friend who's read the book or read it yourself (it's a quick read). Or just shrug off the stuff you don't understand and follow the action. It's a fun movie and I'd certainly recommend it.

As Theology/History - It is an enormous load of you know what. The history is suspect, the whole conspiracy is based on an exposed fraud (the dossiers secrete which is the "proof" of the Priory). Could Jesus have been in love and even married Mary Magdalene? Sure. Is there ANY substantial proof of it? None that either the book or the movie can show you. It's all based on coulda/woulda/shouldas. Ten minutes on Google will clear up most of the "revelations". Nothing to get excited about. Are there legitimate questions about the treatment of women by the church and in the church? Of course there are. My real question is IF the "Holy Grail" is in fact Jesus' bloodline, what the heck are they waiting for?

A threat to the Faith - Well given that I think this is an enormous bucket of drivel I'm astounded that anyone's faith might be affected by this. If this tips you over then your faith was mighty thin. And if the church can't easily answer the questions raised by the book/movie then we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. A little less panic, a little more thoughtful teaching please.

A threat to the Roman Catholic church and Opus Dei - More much ado about nothing in my opinion. In both cases we're shown that it's a small band of renegades within the structure of the church (and without) that are responsible. They even acknowledge that they'd be in big trouble if they got caught. As for the historical failures of the church in Rome those are well documented. Given that every other denomination has it own share of black eyes and shortcomings I think it best if we attend to our own planks. While I have disagreements with both the RCC and OD I think they could unruffle their feathers over this rather lightweight jab in their direction as well.

So bottom line? Good movie for entertainment, good movie for DISCUSSING the faith issues raised, bad movie if you're an uptight person of faith who's positive everyone is out to get you. My advice? Unclench your cheeks, buy an extra large popcorn and have some fun.

Peace

From Gman

Gman is right on the money with this one. You can check out his blog with the link on the right here. I'm quoting today's posting in its entirety because you need to see it all. Sounds like my kinda book too.

Don't Rock the Boat.

In Rick Bundschuh's book, Don't Rock the Boat, Capsize It, he writes the following on page 56:

"Give a cat enough bowls of milk, diversion, and careful petting, and sooner or later that independent feline comes and jumps into your lap, plays with you without breaking your skin with its teeth -- or even goes far as to give you a lick of love.

I have to admit that cat herding can be frustrating. The floating, low commitment level of many people entering the community of faith is a terrible commentary of what our culture has produced. It plays havoc with decency and order. And those with feline tendencies will find that God is out to change them in a serious way ....

I've come to the conclusion that assuming the church is full of people waiting eagerly to be guided toward godliness is a load of crock. This is the desire of some, to be sure, but the vast majority of folks are a complicated tangle of spiritual and carnal desires, hurt, insecurity, ignorance, misconstrued priorities, and pride. .....

Sometimes we have to learn the hard way about herding our cats. We have misread or presumed our congregation and launched some Bible study or church ministry that bombed.

If we were leading sheep it would be easy to get bitter and start talking to ourselves in the 'I work hard to give these ungrateful folks what they need to grow spiritually and they can't even commit to one evening a week to attend a home Bible study' mode. But when we came to realize we were leading cats, we just figured that we would have to rethink the whole way of doing church."

Man, this hit me hard. It is where our church is at. Rethinking. Trying to seek and be connected to the vine. Herding cats.

Rick's book is a must read for anyone who loves the church, and doesn't want to leave it in her current status.

Peace

The Visitors Center

I tend to write primarily with Episcopalians in mind. That's probably short sighted on my part but I've never been a member of any other denomination (although I'm working with some ELCA congregations right now). I think in terms of the church I grew up in and continue to be a member of today. As I've spent more time meeting youth ministers from other denominations I realize that not everyone thinks the way I do (GASP!) or even understands where I'm coming from.

So I'm happy to include a link to The Visitors' Center at the home page of my denomination. It's a good place to get started with who we are and what we believe and even how to find the closest Episcopal church near you. If you're so inclined. The link is in the title to this post.

Also at the center is the results of a poll they did of Episcopalians about the most "notable" Episcopalians/Anglicans. You can find the results here. I've added my two cents already and invite you to do likewise.

The only one I had any problem with is Henry VIII who is commonly held to have "founded" the Anglican church. I think a closer reading of history would show that Henry would find that conclusion rather surprising. Henry had great energy for burning and hanging Reformation types in England, both before and after the annulment of his first wife.

But that's one of my pet hobby horses.

Peace

Da Vinci Code

I'm looking forward to this weekend since I hope to see the movie. I enjoyed the book. Yeah I know, that's going to make some folks nervous. I didn't believe the book and even a little bit of research shows what a bunch of malarky it is. But it's FICTION! I thought it was a fun, Saturday afternoon with nothing to do kind of a read.

Of course I've just been scanning some reviews of the movie and they're running about 2-1 that it's a bad movie. Not theologically bad (which it certainly is) but that it's just a BAD movie. Best critique I read was "Welcome to the 2006 Ishtar"

Ishtar is probably the worst movie I ever watched. It's the only one that I stopped in mid viewing and never finished. Horrible.

So after I see it, I'll let you know.

peace

A dreaded day passes without incident

Had one of those days I dread. Time for a physical. Since I'm just a little bit of a hypochondriac (don't tell me the symptoms of some new disease!) I always worry when the doctor mumbles to themselves and marks thing down on the paper. I'm always certain that they're thinking "Wow, I've never heard on do THAT before!", or "Well, THAT'S not good". Plus I got hooked up to an EKG machine. Being connected to medical electronics is never a good thing. Plus the usual poking and prodding and peering....


And I'm fine. Heck my new doctor called me "normal". She's new, she'll learn differently!

So other than my good cholesterol being a little low and my blood sugar being a little high (neither of them serious, just need to be watched) I'm the picture of health for a slightly overweight middle aged guy.

Life is good.

Peace

Things I think I think

I stole the title from a columnist somewhere. I don't remember who any more. But I always loved that title and the columns that came with it. Just some free association:

Sometimes I take this whole "lay minister" thing a shade too seriously.
I was a radio DJ for 19.5 years and a college DJ for 2 years before that. I love music. But I'm not a big fan of contemporary Christian music. While the musicianship has gone up dramatically over the last 30 years too much of it strikes me as fawning and precious. But I'm a minister! That's serious stuff, so I should only have serious music in my office. While I love classical music it's not what I want playing when I'm writing or working around the office. So I've largely gone without music here in my little office for the last five years. And it has been a colossal drag.
So I'm experimenting with some online radio stations, trying to find someplace that I can sample all the different kinds of tunes I enjoy. To be honest I'm finding a lot of them annoying. I'll keep looking so I can find something that I can play in the background of whatever other work I'm doing on the computer.

It's hard being a Pittsburgh sports fan right now
Yeah, I'm well aware that the Steelers won the Super Bowl this year. But as a died in the wool Black and Gold fan it's hard to watch the Penguins and Pirates just be so very very awful. Thank God I've become a Buffalo fan too so I have the Sabres to root for right now.

I keep forgetting how hard change is
I have several changes going on in my life both personally and professionally. What I'd really like is for the change to just happen, thank you very freaking much, and get over it. What happens in real life is that it drags on and insists on getting complicated and just is never easy. I need to remember this the next time I want to bloviate about how the older generation keeps dragging their feet over changes in the church. Easy to be brave when it's not your life being changed.

I'm very excited and very worried about General Convention
I will be there again in an observers role, as I was three years ago. I'm excited about the amazing experience and the good things that will come from this meeting. I'm also concerned that we may dither on the controversial subjects rather than simply and humbly say "We're sorry that you're offended but we believe this is where we are led to be". I grow weary of both sides who stopped listening long ago. It's time to put up or shut up. I'm also coming to the conclusion that there should be a remodelling of GC altogether. As wonderful as it is, it is also a massive bloated monster in so many ways.

I think that's enough.
peace

On Mother's Day

I suppose I need to deal with this.

The day after tomorrow is Mother's Day. The first one without my mother.

All the advertising and "Make sure you get something for Mom" messages are really starting to bug me. I want to yell at the TV "I would if I could you jerk! Now buzz off and leave me alone"

Part of it was the typical "I should have done more when she was alive". That's pointless for two reasons. First because history is history and no amount of wishing can change that. I did what I did (and didn't). That chapter is closed. Khalil Gibran wrote:

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it."


The second point is that while I wasn't the perfect son I did OK. We talked on a regular basis. When she needed me I was there. Like the woman in the Gospel I think it can be said of me "He did the best he can". I have to hope that's true because I don't get the chance to improve.

Both of my parents are gone (my father's final illness actually began on Father's Day). I've thought about how to remember them. Both of them would want me to remember them by how I live my life, to be the person they raised me to be. I shall do everything in my power to do just that. But I need to set a day aside when I shall remember them and hold their memories close. Many people would choose the dates of their birth or their death. Their deaths are not what I want to remember and their births are at opposite ends of the year. I could choose Mother's Day or Father's Day. But Father's Day especially will never be the same for me. Certainly not the day to remember my dad.

And so I chose the day that they chose. At the beginning of February, a day in 1956 when the snows fell onto the uniform of a young Navy officer and the dress of his bride. The day my family began, their wedding anniversary.

It means I have to wait almost a year. That's fine. They're worth the wait.

Now the burden of Mother's Day doesn't seem quite so heavy.

Peace

But then we already knew this...

Offered without further comment:

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

And there was much lamenting...

The big news in YM this week is the sale of Youth Specialties to the folks at Zondervan. If you've talked to me about resources for youth ministry you've heard me talk about YS. I don't work for them (although I did serve as a moderator on their forums prior to the forums going on hiatus. For that I got the occasional small gift) and I don't get a percentage for any sales that come from my recommendation. I recommend them because I like their stuff and use it. Mike Yaconelli's books have been a GREAT inspiration to me over the last couple years, not only in youth ministry but in my faith life. I got to meet Mike once and shake his hand. It's a special moment for me.
So what's all the hoohoo about? Well, YS has always had a feel of a free wheeling, let's see where the Spirit takes us kind of organization. They have to have had some basic good business practices to stay in business as long as they have and still put on some major events. So that "Hey kids, let's put on a show" feeling is probably a certain amount perception rather than completely true. The bottom line is this:

YS has done some good stuff over the years.
They were attractive enough to tempt Zondervan to spend some cold hard cash on them.
Zondervan wants them to succeed.
And so do we.

So I'm still firmly in the YS camp (I'm not a fanatic. I also use and recommend stuff from Group and several other places). I look forward to what may develop out of being part of an org with slightly deeper pockets.

And I think we all need to take a breath. Even if YS disappeared tomorrow we'd have the wisdom that has grown under their stewardship to carry with us into the future.

Based on what I've read by Yac, I think he'd advise some of us to chill.

Peace

With New Eyes

This is my column from the May issue of ChurchActs, our diocesan newspaper

I had an interesting experience the other day. I was driving down the road to Jamestown, a road I have driven for about 30 years. At one corner along the way I suddenly realized that I had never noticed a certain building there before. In my defense the building is set back off the road a little way. At the same time it's a medium sized two story barn! I have no memory of that barn. I find it hard to believe that I never look that direction every time I drive by. So I must have seen it but it just never registered before.
As I continued on my drive I thought about that barn. And then I thought about young people (bet that comes as a big surprise!). Have you ever felt like your life was like that barn? Ever felt like everyone's driving by and not paying you any attention at all? There were certainly times when I was in high school when that was true. I wasn't the smartest kid in school, I wasn't an athlete, I wasn't the most gifted performer in the school musicals and I was a loooooong way from being the most popular person in my school. There were times when it felt pretty awful, being that barn.
But there's not really a whole lot the barn can do about it, is there? You can wish you were bigger barn, a more attractive barn, a flashier barn, that you were a little closer to the road or maybe even on a better road. Or what if you hadn't been created a barn at all? Why couldn't you have been made a house, or a mansion or City Hall? Of course that's not the way it works out. In the end we all have to be the barn we were created to be.
Okay, I'll stop with the barn metaphor.
Because I really want to talk about the folks who drive by and don't notice. How many people are there in your life? I'll bet you just added up your family, friends, some teachers and maybe a few others. Is that really all the people in your life or did you just count the people that you want in your life (or with whom you're stuck, like brothers and sisters)? The reality is that all of us have many more people in our lives than we think. How many of them do we just cruise by each day without a second thought? How many people do you cruise by every day in the hallway at school and never even notice? If they disappeared tomorrow would you even notice? Our faith calls us to not only notice those people but to make sure that they're Okay too. Jesus talks repeatedly about caring for the poor and the weak and the suffering. When we choose to ignore, or even worse put down, someone we're not helping them and we're increasing their suffering.
Now it would be easy to think that I'm really aiming this at the group that my daughter refers to as “The Populars”. You know the supposed cream of high school society. In reality this applies to everyone whether you're one of the “cool kids” or not. Every one in your life is in your care at least a little bit. It's amazing how something simple like a smile and a “Hi” can make all the difference in the world. Sometimes it's surprising who needs that little extra help too.
Our call to faith involves everyone around us. It calls us to help those who need help. At a more fundamental level I think it calls us to pay attention. How will we know if someone needs help if we just zoom right past them.
How many people are there in your life that are just barns you zoom by? How many people suffer needlessly because we go by heedlessly? Use your eyes as instruments of your faith and see how many “new” barns you discover.

Peace

Thoughts on the Bible

Real Live Preacher is one of my favorite blogs. He recently posted an entry concerning the Bible that I think is worth reading.

Dear RLP

Peace

A little cooler

After I blogged yesterday, I cooled off and thought about it. And decided I was still irked but that just climbing up on that high horse was not going to be an option this time.

So instead of the note saying "Buzz off" I actually wrote out my thoughts on why the practice bothered me and the suggestion on how I think they could proceed.

I'll probably either be ignored or get some phone call trying to explain why I'm wrong.

But I'll have tried.

Peace

Grumpy again on a Monday

You think maybe there's a pattern here?

I got a phone call about 10 days ago from one of the innumerable sales people selling a wide variety of Christian program stuff. My diocesan office sends them to me (as is proper) and they try and tell me why I should invest the program dollars I don't have in their books/videos/discs/materials/whatevers. I know these are folks trying to:
A. Help folks by providing needed materials, and
B. Trying to make a living.

So as long as they're polite about it I'll listen to their spiel. So why am I grumpy?

A couple years ago a company who will remain unnamed here asked me if I'd be willing to preview a program. Since I'm often asked for recommendations I often say yes. They sent me the stuff, I looked at it, it was OK but a little too pricey to keep on my shelf so I prepared to send it back. In the box was a note basically informing me that I needed to send along a "donation" to cover their shipping (not my return shipping but their initial shipping) expenses. 'Scuse me, ain't that called the price of being in business? That irritated me so I sent them a note saying that I thought that was a pretty shoddy practice and thank you no.

Since then I'd begged off when they called (which is about once a year). This year I talked with the guy who was repping them and he went through the whole spiel and then said, up front, that if I'd like I could help them control expenses by making a small donation to help with shipping, If I Wanted to. Okay, now we're being upfront and maybe I even had a little bit to do with that. Fine, send me the preview.

So it arrives today. And I did indeed preview some of the DVDs. Not bad but a bit "Stepford Christian" looking for my taste. (You know what I mean, those perfect smiling Barbi and Ken look alike Christians. I've never actually met someone like that and the ones I see on TV or whatever always make the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Just come off creepy to me. I know, I need to see someone about this)

So as I'm preparing to ship it back (they even pick up the return shipping now) I take a look at the invoice (still too expensive for the shelf but not unreasonable for a congregation) I see this line (quoted exactly)

"...it should be returned along with $4.00 to cover our initial handling cost as was discussed with you over the phone"

Say what?!?!?!?!?!?!


So in a black marker I underlined the offending line and wrote: NO Clearly stated it was my option! This amounts to a bait and switch. It's unworthy of a Christian company" and included a note asking to be removed from their mailing and call list.

You may (even reasonably) think that I'm overreacting. I spent a long time in the marketing business and I know that being upfront and honest with your clients is the ONLY way to keep them coming back. I also have ZERO respect from folks whose basic business model doesn't seem to actually be business minded. Somehow they want to be a business without actually having to be responsible for making the business work. Most especially I have no time for people who apparently want to play games, especially people who claim to be Christians. That's not how people of faith are supposed to deal with one another.

In a world in which I have limited time and limited budgets I don't want to waste my time with game players.

Heck I'll even go so far as to recommend how to do their job better. Don't mail out the whole shooting match. Make up a single CD/DVD with a reasonable portion of one of the programs on it. Add electronic files for some of the print materials so that I can get a real feel for the materials. Then send that out to the folks who are interested. Instead of $2.55 for the box of the whole program, plus the hassle of dealing with returns, the individual discs will be much cheaper, will allow folks like me to keep the program on our shelves.

And won't continue to tick me off.

Maybe next Monday will be better.

Peace

Stupid Decisions

Sigh.

The ongoing story about the alleged rape of a young woman by members of the Duke Univeristy lacrosse team just weighs on me. What weighs on me is that no one seems to want to talk about several issues that I think are really key to what was going on here.

Let me make perfectly clear at the outset that I'm not passing judgment on the guilt or innocence of the team members or the veracity of the young woman's story. I don't know enough about the facts to have an intelligent opinion.

But here's the facts that bother me. Both the team and the young woman made some really dumb decisions. Decisions that placed them into positions where bad things could potentially happen to them. And no one is calling them on it.

Members of a sports team at an elite southern university CHOSE to attend an off campus party where we know there was an "exotic dancer" present and which we can reasonably assume there was alcohol. Anyone really naive enough to believe that a bunch of college aged guys were hanging around watching a stripper with lemonade in their glasses? The two young men charged so far are both listed as being 20 years old. Last time I checked the legal age to drink in the U.S. is still 21.

So their choice placed them in an environment where bad things could happen. Even if they are in fact innocent we have every right, and I would argue every requirement, to look at them and say "What, are you stupid?" Spare me the "Boys will be boys" nonsense too. At 20 you're not a boy anymore. Actions and choices come with consequences. Being associated with events like this have consequences too even if you were just a bystander. Even if the accusations are totally false (and again I have no idea if they are or not) how do you explain what you were doing there to your girlfriend, mom, little sister? You risk jail, loss of scholarship, loss of education, loss of your future and at best carrying with you for the rest of your life that you were one of "those Duke lacrosse players". All for what? A couple of drinks and the chance to see some attractive young woman shake her ya-yas?

Stupid.

And virtually all those same arguments can be made for the young woman who chose to work as an "exotic dancer". Even assuming the tamest definition of that term she put herself in a position where she would be shaking her whatevers in front of a bunch of likely drinking/drunken guys who are going to make some unsavory assumptions. It's not even the relatively controlled environment of a club but just some off campus party for college guys. For the rest of her life she'll carry the label "former stripper". That's no justification for rape or sexual assault but there's still the question of what's the value of placing yourself in a position where virtually only bad things can happen? For her she risks jail, sexual assault, loss of education, loss of her future. All for the benefit of a fee and some tips stuffed into her costume.

I hope the truth comes out, whatever it is. I hope the guilty parties are punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Mostly I hope that somebody learns a lesson from this, be it the young woman, the young men or just all the rest of us who are watching this all unfold.

Stupid decisions. Tragic results.

Peace

Holy...Grumpiness?

I'm sure I'm not supposed to feel grumpy and out of sorts in Easter season, but here I am. It's not because I overloaded on chocolate and the like since I didn't have any this year, although I'll admit to a major chocolate craving last night. Haven't had one of those in a long time. So why am I grumpy? Let's see:

Tax time - we owed taxes this year, something that never happens. It pretty much wiped out the savings account. So that's a good news (had the money) bad news (wiped out savings) kind of thing. Plus I'm handling the taxes for my mother's estate and the early indication is that the news there is bad too. Great.

It's the beginning of camp registration season. And I'm short on staff. And the applications aren't rolling in yet. Which makes me nervous. And grumpy.

A lot of plans for this year are clearly NOT going to happen. I WILL be spending a fair amount of time doing things that I don't enjoy. Rah.

I have a long drive ahead of me just for the privilege of...cleaning house. Double Rah.

I have several easy projects I need to get done today and can muster no energy to just do them! Which ticks me off. (Of course one of them is updating the blog so that's one for the plus side)

My day started off by my driving into the office and leaving my keys at home. So I couldn't get in. My lady wife dropped off a set which was nice but it seems like I'm an idiot an awful lot these days. I don't want to be that sitcom husband who can't find his butt with both hands and roadmap while his wife shakes her head and cleans up behind him.

Really got to get to my other chores today.
Peace

I hope you fail.

This is the legendary "lost column" that appeared in the March issue of ChurchActs. I'm glad to finally be able to share it with you

It goes against everything we seem to hear about how to deal with you these days. We’re supposed to enable you and validate you and set you up to succeed. And the more I think about it the more I think you, my young brothers and sisters, are being set up for a failure of monumental proportions. I think we need to make sure that you’re given every opportunity to fall flat on your face. To auger in, to crash and burn, to have the wheels come off. In short to fail. Maybe even spectacularly.
I know, you thought I was your friend. I really am.
That’s why I want you to fail. Actually I want you to be given the opportunity to fail. The real problem is that adults spend a lot of time and energy trying to make sure that you are given opportunities to succeed. When you were little the “circle of protection” needed to be very tight around you. Little kids don’t have any idea what can be real trouble for them so their parents and families and teachers need to watch over them pretty closely. Trouble is that a lot of adults are continuing that same process even as you grow older. While you don’t want to hear this either there is still a need for some adult supervision even for 14,15,16,17 and 18 year olds. If we’re really trying to prepare you to become adults capable of going out and surviving on your own we need to let you fail. And we need to let you figure your own way out of a goodly portion of those failures too. Because it’s not enough just to try and fail. You need to know that you can work your way out of it, figure out the solution and make it work.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of success. I won’t kid you either, failing really stinks. It hurts and it can hurt for a long time. But it’s necessary so that you know that it’s survivable. You know what can be the strongest part of a bone? The place where it was once broken. The time is coming very quickly for you when you won’t be able to rely on Mommy or Daddy or whoever to pull you out of every problem. You’re going to find yourself out there on your own, there won’t be a convenient adult to step in and “fix” things. Yes, I know the general consensus among youth is that all these “meddling” adults are a pain and you wish they’d go away. But let’s be honest, that’s really only when things are going well, right? It’s kinda nice to have them around to take charge (and responsibility) when things go whacko, isn’t it? There have been plenty of times when I’d LOVE to have someone step in and fix up a few details for me. Trust me it doesn’t happen. Success that comes easily doesn’t feel nearly as good as success that you know you’ve really earned.
For my fellow parents, teachers, youth ministers I need to acknowledge that we have the hardest part in all of this. We have to be willing to step back a little farther, NOT run in at the first (or second, or maybe even third) sign of trouble. Worst of all we’ll have to deal with their pain after the failure. And that is really hard. In the end we need to remember that we really are preparing them to thrive on their own. It’s no surprise to us that it can be a cold, hard world out there. What we can do is make sure that we’re always there to help our youth figure out what went wrong, to insure that failures don’t become too calamitous and to let them know that failure is not the end of the world. We can’t (and shouldn’t try to) prevent them from falling. We can make sure that they always have a safe place to fall. In the long run I believe that we’ll see them succeed more often, growing more confident and able to deal with anything that life can throw at them.
So let the opportunity to fail begin.

Just odds and ends

I finally found a copy of last month's column which I'll post later this week.

In the meantime just some odds and ends in my life:

I took yesterday off. Meaning I didn't get out of my pajamas till about noon, goofed off reading the new Patricia Cornwell book "Predator" (good stuff, finished it in a day)then did some chores around the house. Scrubbed the kitchen floor, cleaned the bathroom and cleared off my desk.

Now to some that will bring some puzzlement. "I thought you were taking the day OFF!" I must admit that there's certain kind of zen/holy experience in being on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor or the bath tub. Plus my house keeping tends to mirror my mental state. And my house has been a disaster of late. So this was a very important part of me getting back on track. And that floor shines!

I won the lottery! Actually I won it back in March and hadn't gotten around to checking the ticket. As part of the cleaning yesterday I checked the number. Matched three in the NY Lotto. Won a buck. I'm a lottery winner! (for the record my largest win ever was around $120. Once. Years ago)

Headline in today's Buffalo News "For Mohan, a mysterious 5 grand". Mr. Mohan is a local town supervisor who got $5000 in the mail on Friday. In cash. All $100 bills. Also included was a note which read "We like what you're doing". That's it.

Why can't someone like methat much? LOL.

Peace

Life Doesn't End at 18

This is my column in the April issue of ChurchActs, the diocesan newspaper. If you're wondering whatever become of March's column so am I. Can't find it anywhere.

Over the last six years I can't count how many times I've said something like “This generation is the busiest/most heavily scheduled in the history of mankind”. Then I'd go on to make some profound point about the importance of youth ministry. The other day it dawned on me. By simply accepting that point, shrugging my shoulders and moving on I was part of the problem. That's not right. Somebody needs to stand and up, speak out and fight back. And I'm just the guy to do it. So here goes:

LIFE DOESN'T END AT 18!
So stop living like it does

I'm astounded at how much “stuff” seems to get crammed into the first 18 years of your lives. The underlying logic seems to be that you better do it now because you'll never get the chance again. Say WHAT?!? Are you really comfortable with the idea that all the rest of your life is going to be so busy, so overwhelmed that you will never have the chance to do things that might be fun? You have to do all the fun things now because adult life is just one long hard drag from high school to the grave. Yee Haw, let the party begin!
I'm not going to tell you that being an adult doesn't come with more responsibility and more claims on your time. At the same time it's also a wonderful time with responsibilities (like being a parent) that can be more fun than any theme park, game console or concert. In some ways it's the best part of life I think. The other side of that coin is that childhood and your teen years are the last time that you DON'T have all those responsibilities. It's a time when you can relax, enjoy and have a special kind of freedom.
Unless your schedule bulges like a water balloon about to burst. Think about it this way – one of the things you are supposed to be doing as a teenager is getting ready to be an adult. So what is this lifestyle training you to do? To be on the go 27 hours a day, with an activity scheduled for every waking minute. Is that really the best that the world has to offer you? I don't think so. That's why I want you to stop.
There is one other way that I've seen this lifestyle have an effect. In the last two years I've had young people say something to me that even I have trouble fathoming. I've received complaints that during youth ministry events we haven't told them what to do or had something planned for them at all times. That's right they've been complaining to me about that dreaded concept - “Free Time”. Now before the parents start getting twitchy thinking we leave your children wandering around for extended periods of time without supervision let me reassure you. Your young people are cared for and watched over when they're at camp or Happening or other youth events. The most recent complaint was about an amount of free time that was astounding to me, one hour. They got one hour of free time to hang around, talk with their friends, play games, read a book, listen to their tunes, whatever. Quite simply most of the young people (high school aged I note) had no idea what to do with themselves. To be honest that scares me. Free time is one of the most precious concepts I have as an adult. Time just for me, or for me and God or for me and my wife or daughter, or my friends, or just some QUIET! It's a gift it seems to me. But it appears to be a gift that too many of our young people neither understand nor desire.
So here's my advice to my young brothers and sisters (and the adults who love and care for them). Give it a rest. Take a serious look at that planner. Make some serious decisions about what's really important. My prayer is that Faith and Family and Friends will get high priority. Add in school and then see how much time is left. Figure out what fits and then do something radical. Dump everything else. Walk away from it. Yes, there'll be some weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth about the effect on the “program”.
I don't care.
I care much more about the effect on you.

Peace

Jesus may have walked on .....ICE!

The title has the link to the article.

Seems a scientist has determined that the Holy Land may have had an extended cool spell possibly during Jesus's lifetime and that temps might have dipped below freezing. This would explain how Jesus did something that's "impossible".

Sigh.

Even granting that the world's environment has gone through many swings (and may still be doing so with our without our help)here's a thought from a guy who lives where the snow is falling outside my office window EVEN AS I TYPE THESE WORDS!

In order for it to create ice thick enough to hold up a full grown person it has to stay cold enough to lower the overall temperature of the body of water, then stay there long enough to generate at least a couple inches of ice. And that means you have to stay COLD day and night. A 30 degree night followed by a 45-50 degree day grows you not a lot of ice my friend.

I just jumped across the web and checked modern day temps in Israel. Hard to find them in just the right part of the country but in Jerusalem the coldest month is January and the low is 39 the high is 53. Even if the temperature change was a ten degree drop (and that's a HUGE climatic change) I don't see you generating enough ice to walk on.

But hey I'm just a youth minister from the frozen north...

Peace

Juror #129

Was not required today. So I STILL have never actually been to a jury call or served on one.

SIGH.

Had my first weigh in for the fitness program I'm signed up for. (You know a fitness program should be a standard benefit for all youth workers over the age of 30. You gotta have help fighting those pizza pounds!)

After one week (of admittedly very little actual working out) I lost


Dah dah dah daaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.........


Two tenths of a pound! Yep that's a whole .2 Not quite a quarter pounder. At this rate it will take me about, oh just shy of three years to lose the weight I want/need to drop.

Looks like I'm going to actually have to go in and work out. Some. More.

Peace

Too Funny

Thanks to Gman for this one:

Really Funny "Do You Speak English" Skit

VideoVat.com > GET AWESOME MYSPACE VIDEOS FREE!!

Webring update

You'll notice over on the right hand side not only do I list a couple of blogs but there's the links to the Youth Ministry web ring. I "manage" this ring (which means I do the paperwork. Why do I always end up with the paperwork?).
We're up to 36 active members and there are some great folks who have joined the ring. If you're interested in making connections with youth ministers from a wide variety of denominations and approaches, if you're looking for inspiration, ideas or just a laugh, you'll find it among those bloggers.

Please feel free to surf the ring and support my fellow YM bloggers.

Here at home a busy week again. Back from Binghamton (yay Province II) I've been to Buffalo once and have to go back again tonight (thank you Calvary Williamsville!) Plus did a quick report to my Lutheran brothers and sisters on the work they've called me to do.

And tomorrow I may get on a jury! I've been called and we'll see if they need me. I've actually never served on jury duty in my life so this will be interesting.

Peace

Gman again

yeah, he's got another list thing that struck me:

The Power of Four

Four jobs I've have had in my life:

1, Dishwasher
2. Bell Hop
3. Radio DJ
4. Muffin Baker

Four movies I would watch (and have watched) over and over:

1. The Big Chill
2. Casablanca
3. STar Wars
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Four places I have lived:

1. Gibsonia, PA
2. Jamestown, NY
3. Edinboro, PA
4. California, PA


Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. C.S.I.
2. West Wing
3. This Old House
4. Two and a Half Men

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Lake Tahoe, CA
2. Williamsburg VA
3. Gettsyburg, PA
4. Toronto, Ontario

Four websites I visit daily:

1. www.beliefnet.com
2. www.postgazette.com
3. http://pittsburgh.pirates.mlb.com
4. I went back and looked and there AREN'T four sites I visit every day.

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Italian
2. Chinese
3. Sandwiches
4. Chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. At home
2. With my wife, wherever
3. Pittsburgh, PA
4. Puerto Rico

Peace

And a little child...

Well I'm exhausted!

Three events in two days, two of them an hour and a half drive away on consecutive days. Saw the installation of our new cathedral dean and spoke with her briefly. Seems very nice and the congregation seems excited about having her as their spiritual leader. Then back home for an ice skating party on my Lutheran schedule (fairly successful I think). Then up bright and early for a presentation at a church in Buffalo, which also went very well. But a lot of driving (300-400 miles). I didn't wake up this morning till after 9!

But what really jumped out at me was the sermon yesterday. Deacon Edith Patterson preached on the feeding of the multitude and did what every preacher hopes they can do. She brought something to my attention that I had never noticed before. I doubt what I noted was on her radar as she prepared to preach (the whole sermon was very nice) but something struck me about that well known story that I had never thought about.

There's some discussion about what really happened at the time of this miracle. Out of all those thousands was there in fact only one person who had brought ANY food for the day? To many that seems unlikely and the miracle they believe was one where greedy folks who had in fact brought food, but had kept it to themselves the first time they were asked, eventually shared so that everyone ate. The traditional view is that the miracle was simply taking little and creating more.

But that's not the point of what struck me. Out of all that crowd of thousands, all those adults, only one person offered up what they had. It was a boy, a youth, a child. No matter how you choose to interpret the miracle think about this - one young person had that little bit of something (remember the "loaves" mentioned were probably the size of dinner rolls and the fish the size of sardines. Thanks Deacon Edith!)that was justifiably his. And he handed it over when the master asked. The adults were either too dumb to be prepared or too greedy to share.

I'm always looking for stories of young people in the scriptures. I've read this story probably 500 times in my life. Never saw that young man standing there.

And a child shall lead them.

Peace
JP

A Collect for Young Christians

(which could be used as a specific commissioning)

All-holy God, source of every blessing: We thank you for the mystery of transformation in body, mind and spirit that brings children to adulthood. We rejoice with you in the energy, imagination and truth-seeking that young people bring to your Church, challenging us all to grow into the full stature of Christ. Bless our youth [or, N. {and N…}] with courage and persistence as they offer their unique gifts in your service, and assist us who support them in the discernment of your will, that your Body may reflect the fullness of Incarnation to your honor and glory; through Jesus Christ, our Savior and guide. Amen.

My thanks to the Rev. Susan Anslow Williams for this.

Gman's questions

Every week my friend Gman offers a set of questions for youth ministers. You can check his blog through the link on the right. I've looked at the questions for a while now and this week I'll take them on.

Gs Q 4 YM

"The Lord is nigh unto all that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth." Psalm 145:18

1. What is on your "To Read" list? Oh Lordy where to begin? I have a stack of 11 books sitting here in my office that I'd like to read (and another stack of about 6 that are being considered, though not very hard) Plus I'd love to read something just for enjoyment and escapism. I'm currently reading "A Prayer for Owen Meany" which I've never read before.

2. Who is your favorite Cartoon character? Gotta be Calvin and Hobbes. Yes, I know that's TWO characters but they're inseperable. Close behind them is Opus.

3. What was the last thing you watched on TV? My lady wife starts her day with re-runs so I watch some with her. It's Buffy, then The Practice and if we are slow in the morning Spin City. Last night I watched a tape of the Formula One race in Malaysia, The West Wing and Crossing Jordan

4. What was something you got rejected about? The last role I auditioned for at the local community theater.

5. What is something you got accepted for? This job, for which I was largely unqualified.

6. What is something you are afraid of? Heights.

7. What is the hardest thing you have had to do this week? Travel a lot. I'm tired and just want to stay at home.

A. Prayer: Please be with my family as we continue to make our way through so many changes this year. That includes my wife, my daughter and my brothers.

B. Praise: Thank you for the special time my lady wife and I got to spend with each other over the weekend. You know how much better that made me feel!

C. Other: Help me get through all this buget paperwork that has suddenly decided to be a pain in my life again.

Copyright 2006. Gerrard R. Fess. Free to pass onto all those March Madness Fans.

I'm not a March Madness fan but I think Gerrard will give me a pass.
Peace

Oh and a momentous event

I almost forgot.

A momentous occasion took place at the airport. There is a little girl that I first met when her age was still computed in days or weeks I think. And since that day she has never had the time of day for me. Once she learned to speak her favorite words for me were "Stop!" and "No". The stop command was hysterical because she would put out her hand in the classic position, look me straight in the eye and say it very seriously. Other folks, even other males would get a hug or say hello, but never me. She'd take one look at me and say "No!". Never hysterical or fear reaction, just did not want me in her life.

Which made me kinda sad. Cause she a cute little tyke and I like her family a whole lot.

Well last night she said Hi, gave me a hug and even teased me a little. Not a Stop or No to be heard.

Almost made waiting in baggage claim feel good.

Thank you Willow.

Peace

And Back from Atlanta

Hmmm, had virtually no travel "adventures" this time. Felt kinda strange. Delta did annoy me a little though. I've gotten used to "jetway checking" my carry on bag. You get a neat little tag, they pick up your bag just before you get on and bring it back to the jetway at the other end. It allows me to avoid the baggage claim.

But not (apparently) on Delta. They will give you a tag BUT you then have to chase it down in the baggage area. Which was especially annoying since Buffalo was fogged in and outbound flights were being cancelled right and left. So all that baggage had to be sent back down for pick up. Plus to be honest the Delta employees in the terminal were rather abrupt. It wasn't that they were rude, it was more that you were keeping them from doing something "useful/important" Not the flight crew however. They were very nice. But Delta is NOT my carrier of choice at the moment.

The young people were fabulous! What a great group from Hawaii to the Dominican Republic. Articulate, intelligent and a lot of fun to hang out with. General Convention is a LOT of work for everyone. It helps when you have folks around you that you trust and enjoy. I think I'm going to enjoy this immensely. Then I'm going to be exhausted!

Well lots still to do.
Peace

Report from Atlanta

I'm in Atlanta for the weekend, working with an amazing group of young people. They are the General Convention Official Youth Presence. Two young people from each of the provinces chosen to bring the voice of young people to the highest councils of our church. I had the chance to work with a similar group of young people three years ago and the experience was just astounding. They were articulate voices for their age group and had a true effect on the conversations last time. As I get to know them better I'll share some of my thoughts with you.

I did have a truly wonderful experience when I arrived. At the Atlanta airport while I was waiting for some of the young people to arrive I sat in the large central waiting area. The Atlanta area has several military bases so you see a lot of military personnel in uniform in the airport. But four times a military unit would file through, some 50-100 men and women. When the units moved through everyone in the waiting area would begin to applaud. About 2/3s of us would also stand. The applause would continue until the last member of the unit passed through. I found myself moved deeply by the display. First because I'm the son of a Navy officer. He was on active duty the day I was born. The loneliness and pain of a military family, left behind while their loved one(s) are in harm's way have a special place in my heart.
The other reason is that I'm old enough to (just) remember the pain faced by the veterans returning from Viet Nam. What was done to the members of our armed forces at that time was a terrible, un-American act. It strikes to the very heart of the relationship between the nation and the military. And it's something that must never happen again.
What ever your opinion about the war may be we need to separate the policy from the troops. Those are citizen soldiers. Quite simply "they" are "us".
I was proud to applaud those soldiers. And I pray that every single one of them comes home to family and friends safely.

Peace

And quickly...

I have a new column to share with you as soon as I can get back to the computer on which I wrote it! It was created during my "exile" period and I forgot to copy it and bring it home. So probably next week.

In the meantime I'm off to Atlanta to work with the GCOYP. That's the General Convention Official Youth Presence, a group of young people chosen to bring a voice for their age group to Convention. They are given seat and voice so they can address the issues facing the church. I did this 3 years ago and it was an amazing experience with an incredible group of youth. My primary function (beyond serving as a stellar example of what NOT to do!) is teaching them how to deal with the media. Since I worked in radio for 19.5 years including stints as news person and talk show host and morning personality (can you imagine waking up to me?). So I get to tell them how to "deal" with the media. What are the secrets:
Never lie to them.
Give short answers.
Offering them food never hurts.
Ok the first two are serious the third only sorta. Most media folk aren't making the big bucks. It never hurts to have a media event and have some decent food just "lying around". Yes, it really can be that easy. Of course if you violate the first two rules the third one won't help. We can be swayed but not bought by food.

Looking forward to some warmer weather, looks like low 70s. Fun fun fun!
Peace

A New link

I've added a couple new links to other blogs along the side here.

The first is the new blog by Ryan Nielsen. Ryan is the long time web master of the Pastor2Youth Here. I've had a link to that site from my own website for several years now. Great resources, so I recommend you cruise on by if you haven't already.

As for the blog - check out the February 15 entry especially. Ryan's just getting started but I believe he'll be a worthy addition to your regular blog surfing.

The second is the blog of Mark Ostreicher, known affectionately to all and sundry as Marko. He's the current boss man at Youth Specialties but that's not why I've added him. He's smart, he's dedicated and he has a great sense of humor. Plus the only important thing - he's worth reading.

Peace

An Arrogant Christianity

I was walking through a parking lot the other day when a bumper sticker caught my eye. For reasons I can't explain I've been a bumper sticker fan most of my life. This despite the fact that I don't like having them on my own car. The only one I've had read "If you love Jesus, TITHE, anyone can honk".

Anyway.

This one made me equal parts angry and sad. It read:

Try Jesus, if you don't like Him you can always go back to Satan

I literally stopped and went back to make sure I had read it right. My first impulse as a person of faith was to scrape the bumper sticker off or disfigure it so that no one else would have to look at it. Then I was overwhelmed at the sadness that some person thought this was a form of evangelization. That it represents the Gospel or God.

It is the overwhelming arrogance of the statement. The underlying message is "I'm going to Heaven and you're going to Hell. Nyah!" I'm always appalled at folks who seem to revel in pointing out who's "going to Hell". It's arrogant to think we know or have any business making such judgements. For that matter it's arrogant to automatically assume that any of us are going to Heaven. Yes I believe in the grace of a forgiving God. But grace by definition is something unearned and therefore we have no right to declare ourselves saved. That we have hope of salvation, yes. That we should start getting fitted for our halos? Arrogance.

Even beyond that how can any of us so blithely just dismiss one of God's children this way? The only responsible reaction to a person who chooses to turn away should be mourning tempered by a determination to work harder to assist in revealing God to them.

If we believe that we are judged by how we live our lives, how we represent a life in faith in this world, by the fruits of our faith how can we not be outraged at the sentiment of this bumper sticker?

This is not what we are called to be or do or say.

Peace

Another day

I posted yesterday and promptly started feeling guilty.

"You're such a whiner" ran my thoughts. "You know, SOME people have REAL problems in their lives" was also pitched in. I was raised to feel that you took care of your own troubles and you didn't talk about them. Suck it up and move on.

I've come to realize what a stupid way to go through life that is. It's probably why so many men in my family have died relatively young.

All those problems from yesterday exist. They are a burden to me that feels like it could break my back some days. But it hasn't so far.

Today I got a nice note from a friend encouraging me (you know who you are, even if I don't), I got an encouraging e-mail from a congregation excited about having me come out and help them, I had a good meeting with someone who is "journey-ing" with me from my congregation and I had a great Greek lunch with a group of friends.

I also had an eight year old look at me and say "You look tired".

So the bad stuff must be real, but I'm feeling better and stronger today. And that's all I really need for the moment. To pick up my burdens and move on.

Peace

Oddness Murray Oddness.

The title of this entry is a line from the play "Thousand Clowns" by Herb Gardner. A show I did years ago and this line just found a place in my life. It's the perfect summation of how I've been feeling recently.

Which reminds me. If you're wondering about the oboe reference in the last post, I had included one of those little online tests. This one was for what orchestra instrument are you? Unfortunately I could never get the coding to work so I dropped it. And forgot about changing the title. I think I'm going to leave it as a representation of the anarchy that threatens to break out in my life.

I'm really coming up fast on a crossroads in my life. In the best of all possible worlds I wouldn't have to make a choice. But it seems pretty clear right now that staying on the current route is going to slam me right into a wall. It's the bits and pieces I've mentioned over the past couple months:

My mom's death;
My wife's ongoing illnesses tagged with her first surgery (about which we have some small worries that may be nothing);
Having my primary job reduced to 80% of full time so that...
I have to get a second job (and the related issues that I want to go whole hog on a job, which is darned tough to do on two fronts);
ongoing funding issues (no longer immediate problems but long term challenges that require here and now commitments of my time);
I talked with one of my brothers and he's having some undisclosed problem too (and I want to help him but I'm stretched close to my limits as it is. So what do I do?);
plus the every day stuff like my own health (I weigh too damn much), my daughter graduating from high school, paying bills, an unexpected tax bill (which we can pay but will wipe out our savings)etc...

It's just tiring, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I told my lady wife this morning that I'm beginning to wonder if my parents made the right choice for the executor of their estates. I don't feel like I'm handling this at all competently (I haven't screwed anything up. At least not yet. But it's been close. And there's tax time hanging over my head.)

I can tell when things start overwhelming me. My usual borderline orderliness goes straight over the edge. Papers begin to pile up, things start getting misplaced and occasionally lost. The very thought of even trying to dig my way out is so overwhelming that I can't bring myself to even try. Today was a good day, I sat down and forced myself through the filing and throwing away. Now I'm certain that I'm missing two pieces of paper. One's important, the other one isn't. I've taken steps to replace the unimportant one and think I know what to do about the other.

You know what a koosh ball is? They were all the rage about ten years(?) ago. They look like balls made entirely of rubber bands. Right now I feel like a koosh ball that has someone pulling on every single rubber band, in completely different directions. What happens is that the ball is under maximum stress but can't move in any direction because of the equal pull in ALL directions.

To be perfectly honest the feeling sucks.

So soon I'll have to make some decisions. Decisions about giving up ministries that I love and that have been very good for me. But they take me away and chew up time that I'm not sure I have to invest any more. I may have to make some decisions that will hurt/offend family members in order to get things moving because I can't emotionally deal with letting them slide any more. I have to commit to investing more of my time and energy into things that are "job" rather than "ministry" or "passion". There's not anything wrong with those things but they don't excite me and I don't believe they play to my strengths.

I have a couple of really cool blog entries I want to share but I don't feel like I have the time. Like the White Rabbit in Wonderland it's "So little time so much to do".

Yet the people around me seem to think I'm doing a fine job.

Oddness Murray, oddness.

Peace

I am an.....Oboe?

My apologies for the long interval here. With my lady wife recovering from a total hip replacement my life is totally up in the air. She's doing fabulously well but we're temporarily living in a different house so nothing is where I expect it. Half of what I need is still at OUR house, I'm sleeping on the futon (so as not to disturb her) etc. I barely know what day it is most times. (Which would explain how the last post got published WITHOUT a title - now fixed)

BUT!!!!!!!

We move back home on Friday! YAY!

Peace

Super Bowl review

 


Yes it was a very good day to be a Steelers fan. I was a teenager when the Black and Gold went on their title run during the 70's. There was one year when every time my brother baked a cake on Sunday the Steelers won, when he didn't they lost. Every time. With one exception. One Sunday he baked brownies. And they tied.

I remember being in a bowling alley listening to the Immaculate Reception on the radio.

I remember how that whole region of the state rolls with the Steelers, more than the Bucs or the Pens.

It felt great watching the Coach and Mr. Rooney lifting the Lombardi.

And yes, there was a little tear in my eye.

Peace 

A thought on baptism and television

I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, "Lost", a couple weeks when the subject of baptism came up. If you don't watch the show the important details are these: Buncha people stranded on a remote island, facing a variety of problems, one young woman has delivered a baby and her friend had a dream which he believes tells him that the baby must be baptized.

Personally I think he's stretching that interpretation, the dream just tells him that the baby needs to be saved but there's a lot of Christian imagery running around loose in this dream too.

Now they have a Catholic "priest" there (that's a looooooooong story but I'll let him slide on how he "became" a priest. Let's just say it's not anything that the Pope is likely to approve of but we're going to roll with it). Mom brings baby to "priest" after a series of strange events (very Lemony Snicket) to be baptized.

Here's where I start having a problem. Not with infant baptism, though I know some folks don't believe in that. Rather it's the baptism as eternal fire insurance. Mom's not particularly Christian. Heck, neither's anyone else including the priest. There's no community of believers welcoming this child into their midst. It just made me wriggle in my seat. Yeah, there's a feel good, this is something I think I ought to do aspect to it but I'm past the point of being good with that.

I guess in the end it's like my Christmas rant. I want the church to take back our holidays and ceremonies. I want the stores out of the Christmas business, I want the government to do it's own marriage paper work and I want baptism back from the "doing the kid" mentality. Why do we let this nonsense go on? You want to share Christmas or baptism or marriage (in whatever form that community of faith understands those concepts)? Fine but it comes with an understanding and a certain commitment. No ill feelings if you're not into it, hey we appreciate the honesty.

But get yer mitts off our spiritual life.

Peace

Just befuzzled

My wife came home from the hospital today, one week and one day after having a total hip replacement. Ain't modern medicince wunnerful?

She's doing very well and even got in and out of the car fairly easily so I'm hoping she'll really get going on getting well now. She HATED being in the rehab facility.

Other than that I have multiple tasks to get caught up on and several things I want to write about but no time now!

Oh yeah and the Super Bowl is Sunday. Go Black and Gold!

Peace

And catching up to do

So many things going on...

The anniversary of the shuttle Challenger's explosion came and went last week. As someone who grew up during the true heyday of the space program it was a terrible event. I worked at a radio station and my desk was in the news room with most of the other announcers. They had the launch on the small TV that sat over the news desks and I was watching the vehicle climb. To this day I remember the last command given before the explosion "Go throttle up". I listen for it each time I watch a shuttle go up over the last 20 years. It didn't take an expert to see that something catastrophic had just taken place and I know that I cried out. The scene is still vivid in my mind. I try to remember to pray for all those who go where I would still dearly love to go. Into space.

My life as a bachelor continues. With my lady wife in the hospital following hip surgery (which went very well) and my daughter on a mission trip it's me and the two cats for just over a week. It's a great reminder of how much the rest of my family does around the house now that it all falls on me. I'm happy to report that I and the cats are surviving quite nicely thank you. Check back with me in a few days!

I know there were several other things I meant to share but they're eluding me at the moment. I did see a bumpersticker that made me both very angry and very sad simultaneously. I'll write about that soon.

Peace

A moment to breathe

I've just about run myself off my feet. So let me catch up.

First for Bill Johnson out at the Rocky Mountain News - How's Pittsburgh looking right now? It's a beautiful city this time of year.

Yeah, that was rubbing it in.

In the last week my wife has gone in for hip surgery (long story, short version is that this is a good thing) and my daughter has gone on a mission trip to Honduras. So it's me and the cats for about a week. We'll see how that goes.

Finally I continue to struggle with what this blog is supposed to be. I keep trying to seperate my private life and my faith life. Which I know is silly and just wrong. So I finally sat down and said "OK, let's stop worrying about what we're doing and figure out why"

And I think I have it. Deep in my heart of hearts I don't want people to think about me as a "minister" or "person of faith". Why? Because in my experience such people tend to be tight asses and boring and people who want to beat on you (one way or the other) with their faith. And I want no part of that image. That's exactly who I don't want to be.

Then it hit me - I am a minister and I am a person of faith and I DON'T whale on people with my faith and I don't think I'm a tight ass and I certainly try not to be boring and I hope that I've got some serious joy to share.

So that's what this is going to be about. Being me - a person of faith who's currently trying to minister to some of his fellow children of God who has the occasional drink and has been known to swear when appropriate (and yes there are perfectly appropriate times to cuss), who lives and loves and just generally enjoys the living daylights out of life as much as he can.

I'll keep talking about faith (although I will edit any sermons in the future. 15 minutes of talk is a LOT of print)and talking about the stuff that happens and what makes me craxy in this mized up world and what brings me joy.

And that other image can be sent straight to the shredder. Not wanted nor needed.

Peace

The Choking Game

Okay I'm way behind on things I want to post but this is more important. If you work with youth and haven't heard about the "Choking Game" then you need to read THIS from Tom Reindl at the Faith through Jesus blog. This isn't a joke or some overblown piece of hype. It's something we need to know about and to be ready to deal with because it's 1: Very Dangerous and 2: Very Stupid.

I remember mostly girls doing this same kind of thing when I was in elementary and junior high school so it's not even new. But depriving your brain of oxygen, for ANY reason, is something that we need to stand up and fight.

Other stuff coming tomorrow, I promise.

Peace

We Three Kings

Sermon for 1 Epiphany
I talked about the three kings that morning. This is an edit of the whole sermon

Now at this time of year when we speak of gifts our thoughts tend to leap to brightly wrapped packages under the tree but those are not the gifts that have been foremost in my mind. It is the gifts that all of us have both individually and collectively and how we deal with those gifts. The Magi present an interesting example of what to do with gifts.
It is the giving of our gifts that has been central in my thinking recently. Over the next year you're going to hear a lot of discussion about community in our diocese. Community is the at the center of the sharing of gifts. It is in community that we bring together whatever we have and offer it for the common good. Gifts are large and small and the only time that gifts do not work to the good of all is when we refuse to share them. And there's the hard part – sharing. Watch any group of two year olds together and you will see the perfect example of how not to share.

As I look at the place of young people in the Body of Christ the problem I see most often has to do with the sharing of gifts. Or rather the TROUBLE with the sharing of gifts. It is a problem on both sides of the equation too, both young people and adults. How often do things NOT happen because either the young people or the adults aren't willing to give up their time, their effort, their talents to make something work. Like the Magi we need to bring our gifts, lay them down and walk away. And in doing so we will discover that we walk away richer than when we began. As a community of faith we will make not only our lives but the lives of those around us richer as well.
So what gifts do we have to offer our young people and what gifts do they have to offer us? As the older brothers and sisters in Christ we carry with us tradition and inherited wisdom from those who have gone before us. This does not make us wise necessarily but rather makes us bearers of wisdom. That wisdom is not ours in any way shape or form. Rather it is gift that we have been given responsibility. Central to that responsibility is the requirement, not the option I believe, but the REQUIREMENT to pass it along, to share it, to teach it, to live it. If that wisdom is not freely and easily accessible to our younger brothers and sisters then of what use is it to them? In fact why should they even believe that such wisdom exists? Wisdom is a road map that says this way was tried before and this is what happened and this is why. So maybe you want to try a different way or at least try a different approach. It is also a tool that grows and remains sharp only when it is used.

I also mentioned tradition. I should note that mentioning church tradition to most teen agers will get you rolled eyes and an agonized moan. The reason for this is that too often they see tradition as manacles designed to stop them from doing things rather than tools that can make their journey easier. My contention is that sharing tradition means that we understand that tradition is a way of joining a community, a community not only of those folks we see here at St. Philip's on Sundays in the 21st century but also with the people who have worshiped in this community going back to its founding. And that our traditions make us members of a community that dates back through the history of our country, leaps back across the ocean to England and from that island to the earliest Christian communities in the Holy Land.

Here's one of my favorite traditions, the Book of Common Prayer. It is a rich resource for any person's life in faith but I think it is an especially valuable tool for a young person just beginning their walk with God. I will admit that upon occasion, when the sermon has not deeply touched me, I will explore the Book of Common Prayer in my pew. I have always felt that clergy would prefer that to me nodding off and snoring. What a wondrous book this is and yet one that many of us spend all too little time with most days. If you are a young person beginning a life in faith it can be hard sometimes to figure out what you're supposed to do or say. Young people tell me all the time that they don't know what to say when they pray. I tell them not worry, just look it up. (This book is filled with prayers for every occasion plus guidelines for history and even daily study of the Bible) I did a quick scan and found prayers for the Use of Leisure Time, for an election, for families and another for our enemies, plus one specifically for young people and even one on the proper use of God's gifts. Next time a young person needs to say grace remind them that there are no less than FOUR in the prayer book.

There are also traditions of love and support and healing and understanding that can give our young people the strength to carry on in a difficult world.

We must also remember that community is a two way street. What then are the gifts that our young people bring to us? As a group what gifts can they offer their community of faith?

I believe that the most important one is making us uncomfortable. The natural questions of someone who is exploring the world are exactly what we need to keep us thinking. It is far too easy to become comfortable, to simply walk our way through without pause or consideration. And because young people are not expected to know everything they can ask questions that maybe many of the adults would like to ask but are too embarrassed to admit they don't know the answer. Their questions become a gift when we allow ourselves to be drawn back into the process of discovery. Often we will find that in doing so we too discover something that we had forgotten or had never seen before. The questions continue the growth of the wisdom that our young people will then care for, preparing to pass it along to the generations that follow them.

Another of the gifts they bring to us is impatience. An impatience with waiting, an impatience with things that don't make sense. Because that impatience forces us to reassess what we're doing and how we do it. It forces us to decide what's important and what isn't. Their foot tapping, eye rolling, big sighs "Will you please get on with it" impatience makes us trim the dead wood away from our life in community. It's easy to live with somethings that really don't work any more simply because we're comfortable with them. Our young people will look at those parts of our life together insist that something needs to be done about them. When we find ourselves fighting to preserve every last button and dust mote we need to remind ourselves that while lighting the house with candles was certainly good enough for Jesus we really do have better ways of doing that today. Everything that we hold as traditions today was once a new and exciting change. Another historical aside – when the Book of Common Prayer was first created in England it was greeted with riots in some churches.

When we add in all the individual gifts that we each bring, be it music or cleaning or organization or preaching or teaching we find that we can live in a community of faith that is so rich and diverse that we may be dazzled by the possibilities Any humble home may become the center of great richness and joy.
Unlike the Magi we will not have to travel for years to find our goal, we will not have to inquire if we've found the right house.

Here is the house that you seek. You are the Magi the wise men and wise women, the wise young people and wise children bearing with you a multitude of gifts unimagined by those Magi two thousand years ago. Gifts still offered to the King of Kings. Not on one day only but now and forever.
Amen.

Some things require a response

In the past I have mentioned how impressed I've been with the people in the state of Colorado. In fact with the exception of my personal jinx at Denver's airport I've never had a bad thing to say about anyone or anything in that state.


That may have to change.

Bill Johnson is a columnist for the Rocky Mountain News. In a current column in preparation for the upcoming Steelers Broncos playoff game apparently he visited the 'Burgh (link to the column in the title). I say apparently because he refers to Pittsburgh (my home town) as "...one butt ugly town".

Apparently he was taken aback by the vociferous nature of Steelers fans. If you've never been around some of my homeboys it can be a little surprising. Pittsburgh is a FOOTBALL town. The Pirates? Nice. The Penguins? OK. Basketball? Well them Panthers seem to be playin some good ball. But Steeler football? You better step back and make a little room because there WILL be a demonstration. I can understand him being put off if he wasn't prepared.

I'm a little puzzled as to where he was staying since he says he was "...across the Ohio" from downtown. The Ohio flows straight away from downtown (or dahntahn as it's pronounced in my home country). If you're across a river it's either the Allegheny or the Mon.

But that to one side. "Butt Ugly"? I'm afraid I may have to set aside my preference for non-violent confrontation and ask Mr. Johnson to step outside. Quite simply Pittsburgh has one of the most beautiful skylines in the world. Several travel magazines over the last decade have agreed. Want the best view? At night, either on Mt. Washington (that would be across the Monongahela River from downtown Bill) or as you come through the Liberty Tunnels (or Tubes) from the south side of town. Check these out: 


or this:

 


Butt ugly? I see from his pic that Bill wears glasses (as do I). Time to either clean 'em or get them checked Billy boy.

The game this weekend should be a barn burner. Two great running teams with two great defenses. As a member of Steeler Nation I hope and believe that the Black and Gold will prevail.

And the next time Bill Johnson rolls into town I'll personally give him the grand tour and buy him a meal at Primanti's.

But only if he promises to get his eyes checked.

Peace 

You have WHAT kind of homework?

Saw this over on Marko's blog ysmarko and just about fell out of my chair! At what point did the teacher's brain stop working?

Porn homework

Peace

Whew! That's a relief!

A liberal but not a heretic..hmmm........

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451. Chalcedon compliant 100% Monarchianism 58% Nestorianism 50% Pelagianism 50% Monophysitism 50% Arianism 42% Adoptionist 33% Socinianism 25% Modalism 25% Gnosticism 17% Apollanarian 8% Donatism 0% Albigensianism 0% Docetism 0% Are you a heretic? created with QuizFarm.com

Peace

Welcome from Indy!

I'm in Indianapolis for the weekend. What a time for a native Pittsburgh boy to visit this fair city! The Colts are here tonight at the same hotel as me too! I have a Steelers sweatshirt that I'm probably going to wear tomorrow. The Patriots just lost as I type this.

I'm at a national Christian Ed conference in my denomination, nice folks but about as boring as it sounds.

Peace

A neat moment

I've suddenly got lots of ideas for blog entries! But I wanted to share this real life moment with you all.

I have a former youth, now a young adult who works at a business locally that I frequent. It's allowed me to stay in touch with him (unlike most of his contemporaries) The years since he left youth group have been tough. He's had several bad relationships, one of which ended up in a beautiful little girl. The mom has sometimes made his life pretty difficult. I've heard stories that this young man has had some problems with drugs as well. His financial situation has been up and down needless to say. Through it all I've just tried to stay in touch, say hello, ask about his daughter, whatever. He's been in my heart a lot over the years, hoping that this kid (I once gave him a letter of recommendation that said if my own daughter ever brought home a young man like him I'd be quite proud. I've never felt the inclination to change that assessment even when I knew he was in some very bad places)

Well I saw him again the other day. He told me about the new house he'd just bought, the better relationship he was in, how well his daughter was doing and the decision he'd made to get the "bad people" out of his life and focus on "the good people". I felt like cheering.

I didn't have anything to do with the immediate changes in his life. I can only hope that something I helped plant years ago helped him hang on and got him headed in the right direction.

I thank God for watching over this young man and will tap me on the shoulder if the time comes when I can help him again.

Peace

He's got a screw loose

The story link is in the title above.

Pat Robertson believes that God has been bumping off Israeli Prime Ministers. Yep, Ariel Sharon's stroke was a divine intervention.

My question? Too many to go into but the primary one is why do we pay any attention to Pat anymore?

Peace

Italian Court to determine if Jesus Existed!

Hokey Smokes Batman!

This is a for serious case between two Italian guys. The court has tried to make it go away but failed. Click on the title for the story.

I can hardly wait to see what they decide!

Peace

365+ to be an Episcopalian

The link to this site is in the title above, just click and go. It's an ongoing project involving Anglicans from all over the globe.

I love my tradition. Boy did I have to think about the wording of that sentence! There's plenty I don't love about my denomination, locally, nationally and worldwide. But I can't imagine being anything OTHER than a 'Piskie. The combination of protestant and catholic, the big tent on worship and belief.

Just thought I'd share. Not everyone will agree with every idea about being an Anglican. But that's a part of being an Anglican too.

Peace