A Pretty Good Year

Someone said that to me the other day. "Jay, you've had a pretty good year". My first reaction was to disagree. It's been a year, some good, some bad. If I really think about it though it has been a pretty good year.

At the start of the year my weight was better but not good enough. And my blood tests reflected that. In just 6 months or so I'd drop another 15+ pounds and put my blood tests back into the normal range.

It's been a great year for my bicycling. Very early on with only a couple rides under my belt I pedalled up a long steep hill (6 miles long with 800 foot rise) that I'd hoped I'd be able to conquer "eventually". Instead it was done at the very start. I've cycled either to or from work (about 21 miles) several times this summer and one day biked both to AND from the office. So that means I've been the whole way around the lake twice this summer, another personal best. I've even improved my time going to work over the course of the summer. Lance Armstrong has nothing to fear from me but suddenly a 20 mile ride is no longer some huge challenge. And less than that almost doesn't seem worth doing some days! Too easy. Bizarre.

I checked something off my "Bucket List" (the things you want to do before you "kick the bucket") by getting the chance to act with the kid, my daughter. It was great. And she out performed me! Now I want to do it again and give her a challenge. It felt good to act again and it was just SO cool to be on stage with this amazing young woman.

I got the chance to spend some quality time with my daughter in Pittsburgh, a city we both love. We spent some great time with some of my dad's side of the family and just explored. In fact there were several times this summer that we had some fun as a family. Some of it was just dinner time on the back deck, laughing and teasing. There was the wine festival where the kid got a bit tipsy. Yeah, that part was good.

Any year that has a CREDO week in it has to be a good year. I made some amazing friends and they helped me discover some important things about myself. The path that is still ahead of me has a lot of challenges still but it feels great to be walking that way.

There was the great mini-vacation that my lady wife and I took to explore the wineries of the Niagara Escarpment. The time together was wonderful, we found a number of wines we liked and a couple we like a lot. I'll remember that trip for a long time.

And then I remind myself.....

There's still a quarter of the year to go! So this year can still get better. And better. And who knows, maybe even better still.

Peace

Post Credo update

This is probably something I should and will do on a semi-regular basis. Part of the concept of CREDO is make good changes in your life. Another part of it is accountability and I decided to make this blog part of my accountability process.

So here's where we stand:

Goal #1 A Healthier Lifestyle - I have the basic concept of a sabbatical approved and I'm homing in on a concept. I'm working on my spiritual life (got a book on the writings of Julian of Norwich which I'm starting) and my exercise routine has kicked back in with the bike coming into play now. We've started the conversation about our finances as well. So I'm happy here.

Goal #2 - Expand and empower others in leadership. I'm working hard at handing leadership roles to other people. I think both I and they find that strange but we'll keep on working on it. I need to get started thinking about a leaders event for the fall. It's a start.

Goal #3 - Develop and expand projects for my communication gifts. Got a new piece of equipment to start that and I've been struggling to get it to work. Finally just did a work around and it works. Now I have to take the plunge. I did try something new and rather silly but it was fun anyway. I'll keep playing with this to make them better as I go along:



I'll have some more new projects coming up as well. These will actually have me in them (Scary, I know!)

Finally I've streamlined how I deal with my e-mail and that seems to be much more efficient. I've also consolidated my contact information into one central place and everything else has to come from that one central location. That's been a great help as well.

So just, wow it's been two months already and I'm still on track and working on my goals. Thanks to everyone IRL (that's In Real Life) who has supported me so far in this trip. Special thanks and love to my two ladies and my CREDO small group!

Peace

Final CREDO note

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

There were two other things that arose from my CREDO experience/process that didn't quite rise to the level of being a goal but I felt needed to be addressed.

There were several comments about how I didn't answer some communications in a timely manner. That took me by surprise. In talking with my friends that week we talked about e-mail and how I had to check several accounts. "How many?" they asked. Well, there are four work accounts and three home accounts.

Stunned silence.

Followed by very clear input that I needed to fix that. So I'm weeding out two accounts at work and one at home. The work accounts will be for direct communication with me and one for newsletters, documents, and forms. I've already seen a vast improvement in my efficiency simply because it's all distilled into a couple places. I also realized that I was checking my e-mail several times an hour. This broke up my work into small scattered pieces, a system I've never liked. The program there is for me to check them when I arrive, at lunch time and an hour before I take off for the day. If I'm expecting something I can check more often. That has also given me much longer runs at tasks. I think I'm responding much more quickly AND getting more and better work done. Good stuff.

But if that one took me by surprise this one just about killed me. I got a note from someone who said some of our youth perceived me as playing favorites and believing that some of them could "never do anything right".

It was like a dagger in the heart. Are there some kids I've come to know much better than others? Yes. Am I closer with them? Yes. But I've tried to my limits never to play favorites. And I can not think of any young person that I had no hope for at all. I had two choices. To discard the comment as being a personal attack or to take it on board. The folks I'd asked to fill out these comments were people I knew and liked and trusted and respected. And one of them felt strongly enough to put that comment down in black and white.

So I've taken it on board. I apologized to Youth Commission for any such offense I might have committed against them and apologize here to any young person that feels I've slighted them. Creating such a feeling in you is a failure on my part and it's a failure I regret to my very core. I will be working very hard to make sure it never happens again. If you see me doing it please call me on it so that I can fix it.

So that's it. Well at least the high (and low) spots of it. CREDO has presented me with a great challenge as I move forward. I'm excited and a little scared. I hope you'll keep me in your prayers as I move forward with this new adventure.

Peace

CREDO part 3

Part 1
Part 2

My third goal in the CREDO plan came out a little differently. The first two arose from areas where I needed to improve. As I sat looking at the plan I had the feeling there was a third goal but I couldn't see what it was. So I stepped back and started looking for big patterns again in the information. And there it was. The third goal has to do with one of my strengths, in fact it may be my greatest strength and gift. There was a consistent string of comments and data talking about my gifts as a communicator. My bishop later said it's not so much a gift as it is my identity - I am a communicator.

What was nagging at me was that I didn't feel like I was getting the most out of that area in my life. So my third goal looks like this:

To Develop and Expand projects based on my Communication Gifts

Spiritual - to expand the reach of our ministry. My hope is that I can get some of this up and running ASAP (although a technology glitch has put a crimp in that at the moment).

Health - Improve my overall satisfaction by more fully expressing my gifts. This allows me to focus on projects that feed me rather than deplete me.

Vocational - Expand my teaching and communicating possibilities. Helps to create a better link to our youth, their parents, and our congregations.

Financial - Strengthen programs to help be better stewards of our funds. We can do a better job of showing the benefits of our programs to our supporters.

I have to admit that this goal that really challenges me because it means I have to find out if I'm really as good as some people (including me most days) think I am. Some of it will be a learning curve as I expand into new areas. That means something won't be perfect right out of the box (as compared to all the OTHER perfect things I do!). I need to deal with that upfront and not let it stop me from trying.

One final note and then my CREDO report will be finished.

Peace

CREDO part 2

First post in this series

Goal #2 - Expand and empower others in leadership - Reading through all the materials and responses I began to see a pattern. A very bad pattern which resulted in me taking on more and more of the leadership for the ministry. This is bad for me because it wears me out and it's bad for the ministry because it limits what we can do. I promise you it started from a good intention but it's clearly gone beyond that. So this goal calls on me to give up leadership roles, to give up control. This will create more places for others to express their gifts, will allow me to focus on those areas that match my gifts and will give us a deeper, more talented pool of leaders and vision in the diocese.

The objectives:

Spiritual - To allow others to express their gifts. I do that by releasing control.

Health - It removes the burden of me being "The Guy". Yes it's a self inflicted burden but I need to eliminate it anyway. Not only will I be healthier but the ministry will be healthier.

Vocational - To develop programs that recruit and empower leaders. My goal is to have that up and running within the next 12 months with the first parts of it happening this fall. For this to work I need folks who are willing to step up in large and small roles. It also means not just handing people jobs and walking away but creating ways to really help them feel like they can succeed.

Financial - Many hands are able to do much more and do it more effectively. That means our dollars stretch farther. In times when money is tight anything we can do to be better stewards of what we have is what we need to do.

If you feel like I've kept you from a leadership role over the last couple years, or that I've hindered your ability to do that role please accept my deepest apologies. It is NOT because I don't trust the folks I've worked with. You are a wonderful, talented, Spirit filled group of people and I have been blessed to been at your side. In trying to make your life easier it's clear I haven't always succeeded. Now I need to ask for your trust to step up again with the promise that I will get out of your way. Plus I give you permission to, with Christian love, tell me when I'm not letting go. I can only succeed if you are willing to take that step.

I know going in that this will probably be the hardest one of my goals for me. I have to break habits and patterns of behavior that are fairly ingrained right now. Please know that I want to change, that I know I need to change.

Part 3 coming later this week.

Peace

CREDO part 1

Rather than create a single loooooong post I'll break it down into a couple bits.

Two things I really want to share right off the bat. Some of the folks decided we needed to do something special for our faculty as a thank you. So they created a full musical tribute based on the Broadway musical "The Lion King". We created the "Circle of Howard" in tribute to our director. Lights, song, live music, costumes the whole shebang. It was amazing and totally surprised the staff. I did the introductory silliness then sang with the "chorus". It was fun.

Second, one night we played CREDO bingo. Just to loosen up. Well I got (with the free center square) bingo on the first four numbers drawn! Couldn't believe my eyes! Had to share that.

OK, CREDO is, at the end, about your CREDO plan. A plan based on long thought, conversation, consultation and prayer. A plan to help you live your life more fully, happier and healthier. It focuses on four specific areas - Spiritual, Health, Vocation and Financial. The process to get there takes too long to explain here, it's one of those "You gotta experience it" kind of things. I found it very interesting, very revealing and rather humbling. All good stuff.

My CREDO plan has three goals. That's about average. Some folks have more, some less. I have three. I want to share the plan, at least in general terms, to help with my accountability. If lots of people know what I'm supposed to be doing it's harder for me to get away with slacking. So with your kind permission I'll share my plan over the next couple posts.

Goal #1 - To Create a Healthier Lifestyle I went away to the retreat a person struggling with health issues. Physical, spiritual, vocational and financial. My lady wife's one hope for me was that I'd find a way to come back healthier and happier to her. So far it seems to be headed in that direction. The goal breaks down this way:

1: Spiritual - to re-connect with my life in faith and a personal piety.

2: Health - to continue what I began last year. To work on my physical and mental health and happiness. To be joyful about what I've accomplished so far (I've lost 40 pounds over 15 months and kept it off. I've been told that not many folks manage to pull that off) while continuing to towards my goals.

3: Vocational - take some time to recharge my vocational/professional batteries. In other words - a sabbatical. I'm working on the concept to present to the bishop by mid summer.

4: Financial - this is mostly about finally bringing some discipline to our financial lives.

All of these are quite do-able while still being a challenge. That's part of the idea. I've asked specific people to check in with me to keep me working towards these goals. The next two goals are in their own way even more challenging and even more exciting for me.

Episcopal CREDO

Peace

And I'm back

Wow.

I dislike phrases like life changing and mind blowing. But CREDO was all of that and more. I've made a bunch of new friends, learned a lot about myself and begun the next phase of my life in ministry and in general.

I also have a much better grasp of what CREDO is all about. It is a wellness program supported by the Church Pension Fund. It is offered for both clergy and lay employees (separate events) who are invested in the pension fund. We had everyone from a Canon to the Ordinary, to church musicians, parish administrators, youth/Christian Ed leaders and sextons. And everyone had something profound and moving to bring to the experience. It is a long experience, 8 days, but it's not one single second TOO long. I got the chance to learn in large groups, discuss in small group (there were some really awesome small groups for CLE 9 but mine was the best) and consult with experts privately. We talked about our spiritual lives, physical lives (health issues), vocational lives and financial lives. It was beyond description. The first thing I did after I got home (OK the FIRST thing I did was sleep) was thank the bishop for his support in sending me.

Amazingly, astoundingly the refusal rate for invitations among the lay employees runs something like 40%. So let me make this perfectly clear. In my not so humble opinion if you get a CREDO invitation and turn it down for any other reason than you can not possibly physically be there:

You're an idiot. And I'm absolutely serious about that.

I suppose that your life is so perfectly balanced, you are so utterly content with every aspect of your life and everyone around agrees that you are a paragon of perfection who could not possibly improve in any way (come on people, even Mary Poppins only claimed to be practically perfect) then maybe (and only maybe) you wouldn't gain from attending a CREDO event. For we mere mortals it's an opportunity too good to pass up. There is a small $500 fee that isn't covered by the pension fund - your church, organization or diocese should pick this up! And you should make them feel guilty if they don't. They will benefit as much as anyone from getting back a healthier, happier, more focused you.

There's too much to process or discuss in a single blog so I'll pick this up over the next couple weeks. Truly amazing. My thanks to our faculty, to all my CREDO friends and the folks at Canterbury Retreat and Conference Center in Oviedo FL for a wonderful experience.

Here's a photo of the lake at Canterbury(fixed so you can see the cross):

And I'm away

So it's finally here, my CREDO week. I'm looking forward to it but I'm a little nervous too. Always am before a trip. My hope is that I come back with a better idea of who am I and what I need to be. Out of that should grow an ability to be better at my ministry and work.

It's highly unlikely that I'll post during the week.

But I might.

Keep me in your prayers.

Peace

Weekend Update April 27- late!

The Week That Was - Hmmm, a quiet week. Car went into the shop and we can't figure out where the automatic transmission fluid is disappearing to. No spots in the parking space, no damp spots on the underbody. Curious.

Got swept from the volleyball "playoffs" in the first round. Not surprising. It was fun so I'll probably be back for that in the fall.

Went to a meeting on Saturday of the Youth Ministry Revitalization Team. As always this group did some good work when they were together. I think we're headed in a very positive direction. The plan is to have ideas and resources ready to present at Diocesan Convention in October. I think we can really pull it off.

Camp applications are starting to dribble in. Would love to get a whole bunch in (hint, hint to all you families in WNY out there!)

I've been working on clearing up the mess that is my address book(s). I've never really consolidated it in one place. Most of it was in one place then a bunch in several others. So I'm getting it all in one big file on my PDA. Now I'm in the editing and clearing phase. If I can't remember who the person is they get dumped. It's boring work but kind of cathartic as well.

The To Do List - This is such a catastrophe I'm just going to restart it after I get back next week. Right now it's making sure everything is ready for me to go away for 10 days or so. My whole world right now is CREDO,CREDO,CREDO.

What Am I Procrastinating About? - Still doing OK. Hmmmm less procrastinating with no To Do list. Or am I just not as aware of what needs to get done now so I just FEEL more productive?

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To?

Next up is "The Ayatollah Begs to Differ-The Paradox of Modern Iran" by Hooman Majd. Still working on this but really enjoying it. I'm getting a much more nuanced look at Iran and the various power groups there. It's not as black and white as we think. In some ways we are very much alike and in others totally alien to one another.

Working on some Sue Grafton novels as a way to relax. Liked "A is for Alibi" and I'm working on "B is for Burglar" and liking it a lot too. Gotta decide what's going with me to Florida (CREDO,CREDO,CREDO!)


Movies - No movies this week so far.

Music - Gotta load up my ipod with some interesting new stuff and good familiar stuff for the trip to Florida (CREDO,CREDO,CREDO!)

Next Up CREDO,CREDO,CREDO! As one of our priests in the diocese said to me today - You have to work twice as hard the week before and the week after to take a week OFF! In the meantime my lady wife and I are going to check out a local restaurant that a lot of acquaintances just rave about. Looking forward to a nice night out.

How Am I Doing Once I settle down for the trip I'll be fine.
Peace

Weekend Update April 20

The Week That Was - Really rather a quiet week. There was the Louisiana trip fiasco (see below) I'm sure to be hearing about that for years from the family. The car decided to act up (something is going wrong with the fuel gauge. Looks like $300 for parts and 3 hours work. It can wait).

I had a new experience in church! I was an usher for the first time ever. They were short handed so I got drafted. Got several double takes. I also discovered that releasing people from their pews to go up for communion is slightly more complex than I'd thought. It's all a timing thing and it changes the further back you get. Very educational. I don't seem to have brought church to a screeching halt.

Other than that I just plugged away. Did some cooking, fresh spaghetti sauce, spicy peanut chicken soup and a beer and cheese soup. First two were fine, last one needs work.


The To Do List - I've started trying to bring the to do list under control. Right now it's mostly camp prep and some spring visitations I need to arrange. Anyone want the youth missioner to come visit?

What Am I Procrastinating About? - Actually doing pretty well at this.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To?Just finished "Mainspring" by Jay Lake. First of his I've ever read and really liked it. An alternate history kind of fantasy - England stills rules the Americas, but God is in actual fact the great watchmaker and the Divine mechanism isn't running quite smoothly. Our hero has to go fix it. Interesting stuff.

Next up is "The Ayatollah Begs to Differ-The Paradox of Modern Iran" by Hooman Majd. This takes a look at Iran and it's culture through the eyes of an Iranian American. Raised mostly in the U.S. Majd helps bridge the very different ways of looking at the world. This book is a joy to read and a real eye opener. I'm enjoying it immensely. More people should read this book. It gives a much more 3 dimensional picture of who and what Iran is.


Movies - Finally! "The Grapes of Wrath" John Ford's Oscar winning movie of John Steinbeck's classic look at the Dust Bowl years. The acting style is a little dated but Henry Fonda, John Carradine and Jane Darwell are worth the ride all by themselves. It's an interesting movie to watch in today's economic times as well. We still have a lot to learn about caring for one another and accepting the stranger among us. This was a great movie

Music - OK I just "discovered" Todd Snider so I know next to nothing about him. I like his sound and this song just put me on the floor. Please note that I do not condone his pro-psychedelic drugs comments (which are probably tongue in cheek) at the start of the video. Skip by them and groove to "America's Favorite Pastime" a song about one of the weirder moments in the history of my favorite baseball team.

Todd Snider "America's Favorite Pastime" @ Yahoo!7 Video

Next Up CREDO week. I'll be going to Florida for a week in early May. It's a program underwritten by the Church Pension Fund for clergy and lay employees of the church to help us find a healthier place to live and minister mentally,physically, spiritually and financially. I'm excited a little nervous.

How Am I Doing I'm OK at the moment.
Peace

Spring is Here?

Welcome to the first day of Spring 2009 at Maison DaYouthGuy. Yes, that's snow you see. Freshly fallen snow. The pile in front of the house is leftovers from the 275+ inches we received this winter. That's from the official total kept by our local village utility corporation. You can see the remnants running down the right hand side of the picture too in front of the fence.

Also note the flower boxes on the front of the porch. Oops you can only see the right hand one clearly. The left hand one is the black oblong behind the snow and next to the shrub. The weight of snow this year tore it off the side of the house, breaking the metal bracket holding it up along the way.

Such is spring in the W-N-Y.

In happier news I await with great anticipation the arrival of this little number and it's brother in brown. This is the Swift River Jeans belt from L.L. Bean, quite simply the best belt I've ever owned. My first one suffered a stitching failure after a good many years. The folks at Bean refunded the cost of the belt even though I couldn't remember how long I'd owned it or had any purchase paperwork. Since they're on sale (the cost of 2 is now only about $9 more than the original cost of 1) I'm getting a couple. They should be wrapped around my somewhat skinnier waist as early as tomorrow!

Meanwhile I'm without much of a voice at the moment (the peanut gallery will keep the celebrating to a minimum!). I've been lurking along the edges of a cold and doing a presentation Weds night followed by singing Irish folks songs just did me in. So I need to keep the talking to a minimum. Yeah, that'll work.

I think I've mentioned before that I'm headed to CREDO later this year. CREDO is a great program offered through the retirement fund of TEC to help clergy and lay employees of the church get healthier physically, mentally and spiritually. I know that it's a little controversial in some corners but it couldn't come at a better time for me. In preparation for the retreat you have to fill out a lot of forms so they know where you are (or think you are) right now. Last night my lady wife and I did the financial report. Which is LONG! The good news is that we aren't any worse off than I feared (in fact we're better off than she thought) but we're a long way off from being in good shape. Sigh.

But at least the paperwork is done.

Peace