So the new year is here and 2009 has been firmly and finally to rest. A few thoughts on the year that was in my life and the year to come.
I see a lot of folks talking about how terrible '09 was and I understand. At the same time this has been a wonderful and memorable year for me. We had some financial challenges even though we didn't lose our jobs (Thank you Lord). I wondered if my job would last through the year. We had to cancel or postpone two events. My least favorite part of the job. I had to make a very difficult decision that angered someone very special to me. It was the correct decision and I will shoulder the responsibility and the burden of it. I've struggled with the usual issues. No doubt they'll be back this year as well. We've had a modest number of car issues, including getting hammered by a deer (still waiting on getting the damage fixed. Maybe this week). At the end of the year I've backslid on my weight loss, putting about 10 pounds back on.
On the other hand:
Our health has been good. In fact I received several pieces of great news concerning my health. I lost 40 pounds in 18 months. I have to re-lose some of them and then a few more but I KNOW I can do it now. What a huge difference that makes. The weight loss and working out helped pull my blood tests back to normal and improved my outlook both short term and long term.
I blew away several physical/workout challenges this year. I climbed the Westfield hill a rise of just shy of 800 feet in the span of about 5 miles. For me it was like climbing Everest. And I did it first thing in the summer. I looped the lake a couple times (42 mile ride) and rode to work several times (21 miles in 90 minutes). In fact by summer's end that 20+ mile ride wasn't even a big deal anymore. That's simply astounding. I discovered I can play volleyball without embarrassing myself.
I cooked a couple spectacular meals, a whole lot of very good ones and only a couple really bad ones.
I wrote 50,000 in 29 days in the NaNoWriMo challenge. The kid always believed even when I didn't. Turned out she was right. Takes after her mom. I wrote 52 reviews of youth ministry resources in 52 weeks. Wasn't sure I'd finish that either.
I was named to a Standing Commission of the larger church.
I travelled to visit friends, on a mission trip to New Orleans (and saw my aunt Dorothy Dexter!), added some successful new wrinkles to our Senior High program, supported Sleep Away and served as Head Pop for a Happening Weekend. I made some life changing decisions at Lay CREDO #9 and made some great new friends.
I passed 27 years as a married man and 22 years as a father.
On the whole 2009 wasn't such a terrible year for me.
So what's happening in 2010?
A few more landmarks coming, 52, 28 and a child with a college degree. Amazing.
Starting in March I will be taking a Sabbatical. That's both very exciting and rather scary. As we get closer I'll be writing more about that. There will be some changes and challenges associated with that.
Later this year we (the Diocese of WNY) will elect a new bishop. That will be very important for me and the rest of the staff. Fairly important for the diocese too of course. Again exciting and a little scary.
More programs to get up and running and healthy again.
I have decided (and announcing here publicly for the very first time) that my new physical goal for this summer is to run a 5k race. You should have heard the silence at the other end of the phone when I told my middle brother that. He knows I don't run. Period. Full stop. So this is a challenge that is completely out of my comfort zone. And so it's a very good challenge. I will continue to ride and hope to extend my goals there as well.
I'm going to finish the process of losing weight. From where I am today I need to drop 20-25 pounds. The first half will be easy, the second not so much. But I will do it.
I'm going to love my life, my wife, my daughter, my family and my friends. I'm going to enjoy the young people that God brings me to serve.
I'm going to laugh, dance, pray, sing and finally really learn to play the guitar.
I'm going to read books and finish writing one. Then maybe write another. Or maybe some more poetry. Or maybe do some really serious work on my photography. Or teach myself to draw. Or all of the above! Why the hell not?
I'm going to stop being afraid. Fear has had far too much sway in my life for far too long. This old travelling companion can disembark, right here, right now.
I can hardly wait. Let's get this part started.
Peace (and love)
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Friday, January 01, 2010
Sunday, December 06, 2009
A Bitter Taste of Disappointment
I did something that I knew I shouldn't do.
I hoped.
Oh hell, I did more than hope. I started to dream, to even plan just a tiny little bit.
It all came crashing down in a single page letter on Friday.
Sabbaticals are new things to me and like most new things it is both exciting and frightening. I struggled with what to do. Suddenly a perfect answer seemed to present itself. A chance to study at a great institution for a full semester in a fabulous city. It took a while to grasp the reality that such a wonderful thing might be within my grasp. With the encouragement of friends I believed.
And dared to hope.
The letter on Friday was typical, perhaps slightly nicer than most. They assured me of my wonderful qualities as an applicant. They mourned the difficult decisions they had to make. In the end it boils down to something simple.
No.
It was long shot in many ways. So I supposed I shouldn't have been so invested in it. But it was so wonderful and it felt so right. I allowed myself to be seduced by the dream instead of a determined realism. So the letter's blow fell hard. Much harder than I had anticipated. The taste of my disappointment is bitter.
I learned years ago not to follow the path of stoicism, attempting to deny the feeling. There is no value in noble suffering to my mind. For me that is just a way to extend the pain. No, I give myself permission to wallow in disappointment for a season. A little while to embrace the hurt, to revel in it just a little bit. I feel sorry for myself and refuse to feel sorry for feeling that way.
But only for a little while. With this note that season draws to an end. This bitter taste deserves no longer time than this. I must return to my work, return to my life, return to the arms of the good and glorious that have been granted me.
For though this bitter taste will linger in smaller and smaller reserves, and I know that my tongue will seek them upon occasion it is a small sharp note in this life. I am blessed. It is my hope that I shall be blessed again. Those blessings will mellow the bitterness and age will dull its bite.
Come the morning I shall set it aside.
Come the morning I shall set it aside.
Come the morning...
Peace
I hoped.
Oh hell, I did more than hope. I started to dream, to even plan just a tiny little bit.
It all came crashing down in a single page letter on Friday.
Sabbaticals are new things to me and like most new things it is both exciting and frightening. I struggled with what to do. Suddenly a perfect answer seemed to present itself. A chance to study at a great institution for a full semester in a fabulous city. It took a while to grasp the reality that such a wonderful thing might be within my grasp. With the encouragement of friends I believed.
And dared to hope.
The letter on Friday was typical, perhaps slightly nicer than most. They assured me of my wonderful qualities as an applicant. They mourned the difficult decisions they had to make. In the end it boils down to something simple.
No.
It was long shot in many ways. So I supposed I shouldn't have been so invested in it. But it was so wonderful and it felt so right. I allowed myself to be seduced by the dream instead of a determined realism. So the letter's blow fell hard. Much harder than I had anticipated. The taste of my disappointment is bitter.
I learned years ago not to follow the path of stoicism, attempting to deny the feeling. There is no value in noble suffering to my mind. For me that is just a way to extend the pain. No, I give myself permission to wallow in disappointment for a season. A little while to embrace the hurt, to revel in it just a little bit. I feel sorry for myself and refuse to feel sorry for feeling that way.
But only for a little while. With this note that season draws to an end. This bitter taste deserves no longer time than this. I must return to my work, return to my life, return to the arms of the good and glorious that have been granted me.
For though this bitter taste will linger in smaller and smaller reserves, and I know that my tongue will seek them upon occasion it is a small sharp note in this life. I am blessed. It is my hope that I shall be blessed again. Those blessings will mellow the bitterness and age will dull its bite.
Come the morning I shall set it aside.
Come the morning I shall set it aside.
Come the morning...
Peace
Thursday, December 03, 2009
So much writing, so little news
Just realized that while there have lots of posts here there hasn't been much from me personally. Part of that has just been the business of the last several weeks:
Happening #25 - a great spiritual retreat weekend for teens led by a great group of young people. I actually was NOT quite as wiped out as I often am by these (these kinds of retreats don't work well with my Myers-Briggs Introvert personality).
Then home for a day and off to:
Standing Commission on Ministry Development - Chicago! Great city! Have friends there! NEVER LEFT THE HOTEL FOR 4 DAYS! Apparently there IS some work being done at the wider church level. And the folks who are doing it work HARD! We worked 9-noon, 1-5 and 7-9 each day. I'm the chair of a sub-committee looking at the Ministry of the Baptized concept and what we need to do to make it a reality in the church. Because too often it is either just lip service or code for "ministry of the lay". Curious since I'm fairly certain the ordained have to be baptized too. Unless it comes off when the collar goes on. Met some wonderful people and largely enjoyed myself. It's always tough for me when I really don't know many people. I'm not a natural mingler. So I forced myself, tried to sit with some new folks and have conversations. Kinda painful but cool at the same time. For those who read here and are from the Beliefnet days I actually had lunch one day with someone who began talking about our friend Roseann. I about fell out of my chair! We are indeed a small, freakin' church.
Got home and immediately went to see the national touring company of "Fiddler on the Roof". A personal favorite for the whole family. VERY disappointing. Really felt like a mid-level college performance. Nothing wrong with it except it was a national touring company of Equity actors. Flat characters, lots of singers who couldn't really sing the parts (or simply sang them with no passion). Topol was supposed to be with the company but health issues caused him to pull out (Toronto got Harvey Fierstein! So jealous!). It was just sad. Plus a grumpy lady sitting in front of us. The kid and I, at moments of the show we love the most, might sing, VERY SOFTLY (like I could barely hear her and I was sitting right next to her) or hum a part we loved. Not the whole thing, a phrase or two. I repeat, VERY SOFTLY. It's really not good manners, I know but it's hard to resist, at least for me. And the lady in front of us started getting snotty about it. And was snotty from the git go. At one point she complained and neither of us were making a peep! She lost ANY compassion from me when she and her male companion bolted before the curtain call. Sorry, if you love the show that much you give some respect to the performers. I DIDN'T like it that much but I stayed for all the curtain calls. So I'll leave it to you to judge who was more out of line.
Lots of meetings, I shan't bore you with them.
I did indeed complete the NaNoWriMo challenge, breaking through the 50,000 word mark with a day to spare. I'll be posting my winner's badge on this page later this week. I'm still excited about finishing the book (I figure it's at least another 30-40k worth of writing) but I was kind of surprised by the post contest emotional let down. I was just wrung out. It was great fun.
Oh and quick plug for which I receive nothing in return. Found some really fine free software for writing longer projects (like novels but apparently folks use it for other things too) yWriter 5. It's not youth ministry related so I'm not including it in the regular reviews columns but I really enjoyed using it. The learning curve is relatively shallow, and I keep finding more and more tools. It's not Scrivener, which is the best I've ever seen (and it's what the kid uses since it's Mac only. Not free either but very reasonably priced)but it was designed by a writer who is also a programmer. So it works pretty well. If you're looking for something to do long form writing I'd definitely recommend it.
Right now is a time of waiting for me. I'm waiting to hear back on what may turn out to be a really cool thing for next year. Plus I've made a decision on my next big challenge for next year. More on those later.
Peace
Happening #25 - a great spiritual retreat weekend for teens led by a great group of young people. I actually was NOT quite as wiped out as I often am by these (these kinds of retreats don't work well with my Myers-Briggs Introvert personality).
Then home for a day and off to:
Standing Commission on Ministry Development - Chicago! Great city! Have friends there! NEVER LEFT THE HOTEL FOR 4 DAYS! Apparently there IS some work being done at the wider church level. And the folks who are doing it work HARD! We worked 9-noon, 1-5 and 7-9 each day. I'm the chair of a sub-committee looking at the Ministry of the Baptized concept and what we need to do to make it a reality in the church. Because too often it is either just lip service or code for "ministry of the lay". Curious since I'm fairly certain the ordained have to be baptized too. Unless it comes off when the collar goes on. Met some wonderful people and largely enjoyed myself. It's always tough for me when I really don't know many people. I'm not a natural mingler. So I forced myself, tried to sit with some new folks and have conversations. Kinda painful but cool at the same time. For those who read here and are from the Beliefnet days I actually had lunch one day with someone who began talking about our friend Roseann. I about fell out of my chair! We are indeed a small, freakin' church.
Got home and immediately went to see the national touring company of "Fiddler on the Roof". A personal favorite for the whole family. VERY disappointing. Really felt like a mid-level college performance. Nothing wrong with it except it was a national touring company of Equity actors. Flat characters, lots of singers who couldn't really sing the parts (or simply sang them with no passion). Topol was supposed to be with the company but health issues caused him to pull out (Toronto got Harvey Fierstein! So jealous!). It was just sad. Plus a grumpy lady sitting in front of us. The kid and I, at moments of the show we love the most, might sing, VERY SOFTLY (like I could barely hear her and I was sitting right next to her) or hum a part we loved. Not the whole thing, a phrase or two. I repeat, VERY SOFTLY. It's really not good manners, I know but it's hard to resist, at least for me. And the lady in front of us started getting snotty about it. And was snotty from the git go. At one point she complained and neither of us were making a peep! She lost ANY compassion from me when she and her male companion bolted before the curtain call. Sorry, if you love the show that much you give some respect to the performers. I DIDN'T like it that much but I stayed for all the curtain calls. So I'll leave it to you to judge who was more out of line.
Lots of meetings, I shan't bore you with them.
I did indeed complete the NaNoWriMo challenge, breaking through the 50,000 word mark with a day to spare. I'll be posting my winner's badge on this page later this week. I'm still excited about finishing the book (I figure it's at least another 30-40k worth of writing) but I was kind of surprised by the post contest emotional let down. I was just wrung out. It was great fun.
Oh and quick plug for which I receive nothing in return. Found some really fine free software for writing longer projects (like novels but apparently folks use it for other things too) yWriter 5. It's not youth ministry related so I'm not including it in the regular reviews columns but I really enjoyed using it. The learning curve is relatively shallow, and I keep finding more and more tools. It's not Scrivener, which is the best I've ever seen (and it's what the kid uses since it's Mac only. Not free either but very reasonably priced)but it was designed by a writer who is also a programmer. So it works pretty well. If you're looking for something to do long form writing I'd definitely recommend it.
Right now is a time of waiting for me. I'm waiting to hear back on what may turn out to be a really cool thing for next year. Plus I've made a decision on my next big challenge for next year. More on those later.
Peace
Friday, November 20, 2009
Perfect expression of my geekiness
This pretty much covers most of what makes me a geek. I love it!
I don't know if it will work here but on the home page for XKCD if you hover your cursor over the comic you get a pop up window that reads : "Moments later, the White Witch rolls up and, confused, tries to tempt the probe with a firmware upgrade"
Which just makes the whole thing that much better.
Yes, I'm a geek.
Peace
I don't know if it will work here but on the home page for XKCD if you hover your cursor over the comic you get a pop up window that reads : "Moments later, the White Witch rolls up and, confused, tries to tempt the probe with a firmware upgrade"
Which just makes the whole thing that much better.
Yes, I'm a geek.
Peace
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Things That I Do
A moment to catch up. It's been pretty hectic and to be honest a couple projects are really weighing me down. They don't really play to my strengths so I'm especially aware that I'm under performing. All I can say is I've done what I can and if it falls down, it falls down. I don't have the time or the energy for intense worry.
Let's see, what else is going on? Volleyball team continues to be pretty bad. Still have only won once this session I think. Came close last week, could have easily doubled or tripled our win total. It remains mostly a good time.
I'm supposed to be learning to play guitar. I must confess my practice time has dropped to zero. Just too many other things right now. But my faithful musical friends awaits with perfect patience if probably less than perfect tune at the moment.
Getting ready for my first meeting as a member of the Standing Commission on Ministry Development, a national body of the Episcopal Church. (And before anyone jumps on me for the "national" I am well aware that we are in fact an international denomination, a fact which I cherish and proclaim. There's just no easy term I can think of to represent that this body is drawn from the larger church. It's quick and easy and understandable if not perfectly precise. Bear with me). This is something of a big deal (there's a limited number of these Commissions with a limited number of seats and lots of people who want them) and it's a six year commitment. To a large degree I enjoy this kind of work and it matches my gifts as well. So I'm excited. Plus it involves at least some travel and I LIKE travel! Next week I go to Chicago. Don't know if I'll have any time to see various friends while I'm there. Since this is a first trip and a training/community building trip I'm going to work on committing most of my time to the task at hand.
I WILL be very interested in seeing what the Commission does. A quick (very, very quick) look seems to indicate LOTS of stuff for clergy and very little if any for the laity. I'm fairly certain I don't like that balance. We'll see.
You see how I am? Put me on a board and I walk through the door planning on making waves. [Evil Grin]
The current soap opera of my life concerns my cars. Two very LONG stories that I'll spare you here. The short version has a buck deer taking out the entire right side of my SUV and a flat tire on the other car (plus news that we need a new battery). The flat tire would normally only get a foot note except along the way I discovered that my car lacks a tire iron. Not sure how that happens but it makes trying to change a flat rather problematic. Borrowed one, discovered the mini-spare was almost flat. Plus a 50 mile mini-spare when you're 90+ miles from home...not real useful. So we had to try and find an open tire store on a Sunday afternoon.
Thank you Wal-Mart. I will have nothing but good things to say about them for 6 months.
The big thing right now is the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) where I am trying to write 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days. It is day 11 and I've written 18,500+. That's ahead of the minimum to stay on target but a little behind my personal goals. So I should really be writing on the novel, not on the blog. I think I've hit part of the dreaded week two slump. I'll get at least 1,000 words on the virtual page today and I have hopes of hitting 2,000. We'll see. It has been a very interesting experience, some of which I've already written about.
My immediate goal is to survive the next 10 days. Then my trip will be over, that project that is not working so well will be over and I'll hopefully be well on my way to 50,000 words. Hey, the volleyball team might just win a game too!
Peace
Let's see, what else is going on? Volleyball team continues to be pretty bad. Still have only won once this session I think. Came close last week, could have easily doubled or tripled our win total. It remains mostly a good time.
I'm supposed to be learning to play guitar. I must confess my practice time has dropped to zero. Just too many other things right now. But my faithful musical friends awaits with perfect patience if probably less than perfect tune at the moment.
Getting ready for my first meeting as a member of the Standing Commission on Ministry Development, a national body of the Episcopal Church. (And before anyone jumps on me for the "national" I am well aware that we are in fact an international denomination, a fact which I cherish and proclaim. There's just no easy term I can think of to represent that this body is drawn from the larger church. It's quick and easy and understandable if not perfectly precise. Bear with me). This is something of a big deal (there's a limited number of these Commissions with a limited number of seats and lots of people who want them) and it's a six year commitment. To a large degree I enjoy this kind of work and it matches my gifts as well. So I'm excited. Plus it involves at least some travel and I LIKE travel! Next week I go to Chicago. Don't know if I'll have any time to see various friends while I'm there. Since this is a first trip and a training/community building trip I'm going to work on committing most of my time to the task at hand.
I WILL be very interested in seeing what the Commission does. A quick (very, very quick) look seems to indicate LOTS of stuff for clergy and very little if any for the laity. I'm fairly certain I don't like that balance. We'll see.
You see how I am? Put me on a board and I walk through the door planning on making waves. [Evil Grin]
The current soap opera of my life concerns my cars. Two very LONG stories that I'll spare you here. The short version has a buck deer taking out the entire right side of my SUV and a flat tire on the other car (plus news that we need a new battery). The flat tire would normally only get a foot note except along the way I discovered that my car lacks a tire iron. Not sure how that happens but it makes trying to change a flat rather problematic. Borrowed one, discovered the mini-spare was almost flat. Plus a 50 mile mini-spare when you're 90+ miles from home...not real useful. So we had to try and find an open tire store on a Sunday afternoon.
Thank you Wal-Mart. I will have nothing but good things to say about them for 6 months.
The big thing right now is the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) where I am trying to write 50,000 words of a novel in 30 days. It is day 11 and I've written 18,500+. That's ahead of the minimum to stay on target but a little behind my personal goals. So I should really be writing on the novel, not on the blog. I think I've hit part of the dreaded week two slump. I'll get at least 1,000 words on the virtual page today and I have hopes of hitting 2,000. We'll see. It has been a very interesting experience, some of which I've already written about.
My immediate goal is to survive the next 10 days. Then my trip will be over, that project that is not working so well will be over and I'll hopefully be well on my way to 50,000 words. Hey, the volleyball team might just win a game too!
Peace
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Some people just suck
This week was a bit better than last at volleyball. The result was the same 0-3, 0-3 but it felt very different.
Last week we played against a team that wanted to play SERIOUS volleyball. Now you should know that this is a YMCA Adult Co-Ed Recreational league. It used to puzzle me why SERIOUS players would play in a Rec league. It took me a couple years to figure it out. Simply put they're not good enough for the Power league. They know if they played with the "Big Boys" they'd get their butts handed to them. So rather than be the lower echelons of a league that plays the sport SERIOUSLY they settle for being the champs of a Rec league.
I find that attitude both pathetic and disgusting.
In a Rec league most of us are there to have some fun and get some exercise. It's RECREATIONAL which means it's supposed to be fun. Well maybe they're having fun wiping the floor with lesser teams. Pardon me if I find the concept less than inspiring. It's the action of a bully.
So last week's team was there to WIN. One player in particular clearly had played at a highly competitive level. He had the height and skills needed to play the game well. Sadly he chose to play the SERIOUSLY. Here's the prime example of what set my whole team off. Playing at the net he jumped and spiked the ball. Directly into the sternum of one of my female team mates. Now I'm old fashioned enough to admit that the fact it was a FEMALE team mate makes a difference. So sue me. What really set us off was his reaction after hitting her. Didn't check to see if she was OK, didn't apologize for hitting her. Just turned and walked away from the net. Hey, he won the point and that's the idea right? They crushed us in three straight games. We weren't within 10 points in any of them.
Before anyone drops something along the lines of "Winning is everything, it's the only thing" on me let me note. Lombardi always felt that quote was taken out of context. He was talking about professional athletes. Not weekend warriors. Not folks playing in a Rec league. If you want go all out do it in a league set up for that. There's no trophy in our league for being the champion. We do have an end of season playoff for reasons I don't understand.
Perhaps the most disturbing final touch on this all was that the team is made up from the local school district's teachers. Makes me wonder what we are teaching our kids.
This week was different. Another team that was higher skilled than ours. (Let's be honest we are probably the lowest skill team in the league. Middle aged, short, inexperienced. We play to have fun). Whether it was us playing better (which we did) or them having an off night (which I'd bet on) the play was much closer. We nearly won all three, finished within 5 points or less in all three and generally had a good time. The other team played hard but also played to have a good time. We laughed and applauded and played recreational volleyball. They brought out the best in us. Which was cool.
One set of three losses was life giving. The other one sucked the life out of us. Hope the other team was proud of their win.
Am I bitter? Nope, they're not worth the time and energy. Just sad and irritating to have deal with people like that in this context. Be nice if they could deal with their issues on someone else's time.
Peace
Last week we played against a team that wanted to play SERIOUS volleyball. Now you should know that this is a YMCA Adult Co-Ed Recreational league. It used to puzzle me why SERIOUS players would play in a Rec league. It took me a couple years to figure it out. Simply put they're not good enough for the Power league. They know if they played with the "Big Boys" they'd get their butts handed to them. So rather than be the lower echelons of a league that plays the sport SERIOUSLY they settle for being the champs of a Rec league.
I find that attitude both pathetic and disgusting.
In a Rec league most of us are there to have some fun and get some exercise. It's RECREATIONAL which means it's supposed to be fun. Well maybe they're having fun wiping the floor with lesser teams. Pardon me if I find the concept less than inspiring. It's the action of a bully.
So last week's team was there to WIN. One player in particular clearly had played at a highly competitive level. He had the height and skills needed to play the game well. Sadly he chose to play the SERIOUSLY. Here's the prime example of what set my whole team off. Playing at the net he jumped and spiked the ball. Directly into the sternum of one of my female team mates. Now I'm old fashioned enough to admit that the fact it was a FEMALE team mate makes a difference. So sue me. What really set us off was his reaction after hitting her. Didn't check to see if she was OK, didn't apologize for hitting her. Just turned and walked away from the net. Hey, he won the point and that's the idea right? They crushed us in three straight games. We weren't within 10 points in any of them.
Before anyone drops something along the lines of "Winning is everything, it's the only thing" on me let me note. Lombardi always felt that quote was taken out of context. He was talking about professional athletes. Not weekend warriors. Not folks playing in a Rec league. If you want go all out do it in a league set up for that. There's no trophy in our league for being the champion. We do have an end of season playoff for reasons I don't understand.
Perhaps the most disturbing final touch on this all was that the team is made up from the local school district's teachers. Makes me wonder what we are teaching our kids.
This week was different. Another team that was higher skilled than ours. (Let's be honest we are probably the lowest skill team in the league. Middle aged, short, inexperienced. We play to have fun). Whether it was us playing better (which we did) or them having an off night (which I'd bet on) the play was much closer. We nearly won all three, finished within 5 points or less in all three and generally had a good time. The other team played hard but also played to have a good time. We laughed and applauded and played recreational volleyball. They brought out the best in us. Which was cool.
One set of three losses was life giving. The other one sucked the life out of us. Hope the other team was proud of their win.
Am I bitter? Nope, they're not worth the time and energy. Just sad and irritating to have deal with people like that in this context. Be nice if they could deal with their issues on someone else's time.
Peace
Thursday, September 24, 2009
A Pretty Good Year
Someone said that to me the other day. "Jay, you've had a pretty good year". My first reaction was to disagree. It's been a year, some good, some bad. If I really think about it though it has been a pretty good year.
At the start of the year my weight was better but not good enough. And my blood tests reflected that. In just 6 months or so I'd drop another 15+ pounds and put my blood tests back into the normal range.
It's been a great year for my bicycling. Very early on with only a couple rides under my belt I pedalled up a long steep hill (6 miles long with 800 foot rise) that I'd hoped I'd be able to conquer "eventually". Instead it was done at the very start. I've cycled either to or from work (about 21 miles) several times this summer and one day biked both to AND from the office. So that means I've been the whole way around the lake twice this summer, another personal best. I've even improved my time going to work over the course of the summer. Lance Armstrong has nothing to fear from me but suddenly a 20 mile ride is no longer some huge challenge. And less than that almost doesn't seem worth doing some days! Too easy. Bizarre.
I checked something off my "Bucket List" (the things you want to do before you "kick the bucket") by getting the chance to act with the kid, my daughter. It was great. And she out performed me! Now I want to do it again and give her a challenge. It felt good to act again and it was just SO cool to be on stage with this amazing young woman.
I got the chance to spend some quality time with my daughter in Pittsburgh, a city we both love. We spent some great time with some of my dad's side of the family and just explored. In fact there were several times this summer that we had some fun as a family. Some of it was just dinner time on the back deck, laughing and teasing. There was the wine festival where the kid got a bit tipsy. Yeah, that part was good.
Any year that has a CREDO week in it has to be a good year. I made some amazing friends and they helped me discover some important things about myself. The path that is still ahead of me has a lot of challenges still but it feels great to be walking that way.
There was the great mini-vacation that my lady wife and I took to explore the wineries of the Niagara Escarpment. The time together was wonderful, we found a number of wines we liked and a couple we like a lot. I'll remember that trip for a long time.
And then I remind myself.....
There's still a quarter of the year to go! So this year can still get better. And better. And who knows, maybe even better still.
Peace
At the start of the year my weight was better but not good enough. And my blood tests reflected that. In just 6 months or so I'd drop another 15+ pounds and put my blood tests back into the normal range.
It's been a great year for my bicycling. Very early on with only a couple rides under my belt I pedalled up a long steep hill (6 miles long with 800 foot rise) that I'd hoped I'd be able to conquer "eventually". Instead it was done at the very start. I've cycled either to or from work (about 21 miles) several times this summer and one day biked both to AND from the office. So that means I've been the whole way around the lake twice this summer, another personal best. I've even improved my time going to work over the course of the summer. Lance Armstrong has nothing to fear from me but suddenly a 20 mile ride is no longer some huge challenge. And less than that almost doesn't seem worth doing some days! Too easy. Bizarre.
I checked something off my "Bucket List" (the things you want to do before you "kick the bucket") by getting the chance to act with the kid, my daughter. It was great. And she out performed me! Now I want to do it again and give her a challenge. It felt good to act again and it was just SO cool to be on stage with this amazing young woman.
I got the chance to spend some quality time with my daughter in Pittsburgh, a city we both love. We spent some great time with some of my dad's side of the family and just explored. In fact there were several times this summer that we had some fun as a family. Some of it was just dinner time on the back deck, laughing and teasing. There was the wine festival where the kid got a bit tipsy. Yeah, that part was good.
Any year that has a CREDO week in it has to be a good year. I made some amazing friends and they helped me discover some important things about myself. The path that is still ahead of me has a lot of challenges still but it feels great to be walking that way.
There was the great mini-vacation that my lady wife and I took to explore the wineries of the Niagara Escarpment. The time together was wonderful, we found a number of wines we liked and a couple we like a lot. I'll remember that trip for a long time.
And then I remind myself.....
There's still a quarter of the year to go! So this year can still get better. And better. And who knows, maybe even better still.
Peace
Monday, September 14, 2009
Oh the things that I do
Wow, haven't posted much here other than "bizness" so a catch up post:
Did the Loop the Lake ride on my bike. Takes you the whole way around Lake Chautauqua which is about 42 miles. I did it in a new personal best of 3 hours 24 minutes and 50 seconds (riding time, total elapsed time was 3:50). The ride was fine except for about five miles of steady light rain that just drenched me. If I'd ridden slower I'd have missed it completely. Felt very good to get it done in such good shape. No major physical problems on the ride or the day after. My new water back pack has been a real boon to avoiding cramping.
Haven't been watching many movies but I am going back through the episodes of "WKRP in Cincinnati". I remember most of them but I'd really overlooked what great performances were turned in by some of the cast. Naturally I've fallen completely in love with Bailey Quarters (again). And yes add me to the list of folks who worked in the industry who will tell you that yes, it really was like that. Great stuff.
Been thinking about what a really solid year it's been for me personally. The weight loss, the improved blood test results, the major step up in bike riding and overall fitness(including a 40+ mile ride, a 50 mile ride and taking on the longest hill in the area 800+ foot rise in 6 miles), working on my guitar playing. I performed with my daughter for the first time in our lives doing a short drama for church (that was very well received (and looking at the video she out performed me too!) Still ahead is the challenge of NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month. The kid believes her father might just have some small talent for writing (she's the family expert so I shan't argue). But her papi is a lazy butt so she has cornered me into agreeing to taking on the challenge of writing 50,000 words of a novel length story in 30 days. She's actually done the challenge several times and met the goal just this past year. So this is a kind of put up or shut up time for yours truly. I need to start doing some prep work here soon (but no writing yet! That has to be done in November. But I can do character sketches, outline the story, etc in advance) A few years ago I never would have tried, it was just "something I'll never be able to pull off". This year has proven that what I CAN do and what I THINK I CAN DO can be two very different things.
My lady wife and I are doing something radical as well. We're having friends over for dinner. In fact the plan is have a whole bunch of folks over for dinner over the next year. We've always wanted to and never done it. So we've decided it's time to stop being such social hermits. It should be fun. We have some great friends.
Otherwise it's just been life, one day at a time. Time to start wrapping up summer, finishing the chores around the yard, make sure the snow blower is ready to go (SIGH!).
And hope that next year is this good.
Peace
Did the Loop the Lake ride on my bike. Takes you the whole way around Lake Chautauqua which is about 42 miles. I did it in a new personal best of 3 hours 24 minutes and 50 seconds (riding time, total elapsed time was 3:50). The ride was fine except for about five miles of steady light rain that just drenched me. If I'd ridden slower I'd have missed it completely. Felt very good to get it done in such good shape. No major physical problems on the ride or the day after. My new water back pack has been a real boon to avoiding cramping.
Haven't been watching many movies but I am going back through the episodes of "WKRP in Cincinnati". I remember most of them but I'd really overlooked what great performances were turned in by some of the cast. Naturally I've fallen completely in love with Bailey Quarters (again). And yes add me to the list of folks who worked in the industry who will tell you that yes, it really was like that. Great stuff.
Been thinking about what a really solid year it's been for me personally. The weight loss, the improved blood test results, the major step up in bike riding and overall fitness(including a 40+ mile ride, a 50 mile ride and taking on the longest hill in the area 800+ foot rise in 6 miles), working on my guitar playing. I performed with my daughter for the first time in our lives doing a short drama for church (that was very well received (and looking at the video she out performed me too!) Still ahead is the challenge of NaNoWriMo, the National Novel Writing Month. The kid believes her father might just have some small talent for writing (she's the family expert so I shan't argue). But her papi is a lazy butt so she has cornered me into agreeing to taking on the challenge of writing 50,000 words of a novel length story in 30 days. She's actually done the challenge several times and met the goal just this past year. So this is a kind of put up or shut up time for yours truly. I need to start doing some prep work here soon (but no writing yet! That has to be done in November. But I can do character sketches, outline the story, etc in advance) A few years ago I never would have tried, it was just "something I'll never be able to pull off". This year has proven that what I CAN do and what I THINK I CAN DO can be two very different things.
My lady wife and I are doing something radical as well. We're having friends over for dinner. In fact the plan is have a whole bunch of folks over for dinner over the next year. We've always wanted to and never done it. So we've decided it's time to stop being such social hermits. It should be fun. We have some great friends.
Otherwise it's just been life, one day at a time. Time to start wrapping up summer, finishing the chores around the yard, make sure the snow blower is ready to go (SIGH!).
And hope that next year is this good.
Peace
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
And the news is.....GREAT!
Saw the doctor today and got the blood results. I could drag this out but in simplest terms -
IT'S ALL GOOD!
Blood sugar test back into the normal range, "good" cholesterol jumped dramatically back well up into the normal range. All the other blood tests were solidly normal. Blood pressure was exceptional. On the whole I think I rather surprised my doctor by how well I'd done in just 8 months time. I've gone from a medium risk candidate for heart disease in the next 10 years to a low risk candidate.
I'm so happy I can't see straight.
So all that worry and the like. Complete waste of time. Knew it all along.
Now it's just a matter of continuing to do what has worked so far.
Excellent!
Peace
IT'S ALL GOOD!
Blood sugar test back into the normal range, "good" cholesterol jumped dramatically back well up into the normal range. All the other blood tests were solidly normal. Blood pressure was exceptional. On the whole I think I rather surprised my doctor by how well I'd done in just 8 months time. I've gone from a medium risk candidate for heart disease in the next 10 years to a low risk candidate.
I'm so happy I can't see straight.
So all that worry and the like. Complete waste of time. Knew it all along.
Now it's just a matter of continuing to do what has worked so far.
Excellent!
Peace
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Christian Creed on Health-Care Reform
I signed it.
A Christian Creed on Health-Care Reform
As one of God's children, I believe that protecting the health of each human being is a profoundly important personal and communal responsibility for people of faith.
I believe God created each person in the divine image to be spiritually and physically healthy. I feel the pain of sickness and disease in our broken world (Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:22).
I believe life and healing are core tenets of the Christian life. Christ's ministry included physical healing, and we are called to participate in God's new creation as instruments of healing and redemption (Matthew 4:23, Luke 9:1-6; Mark 7:32-35, Acts 10:38). Our nation should strive to ensure all people have access to life-giving treatments and care.
I believe, as taught by the Hebrew prophets and Jesus, that the measure of a society is seen in how it treats the most vulnerable. The current discussion about health-care reform is important for the United States to move toward a more just system of providing care to all people (Isaiah 1:16-17, Jeremiah 7:5-7, Matthew 25:31-45).
I believe that all people have a moral obligation to tell the truth. To serve the common good of our entire nation, all parties debating reform should tell the truth and refrain from distorting facts or using fear-based messaging (Leviticus 19:11; Ephesians 4:14-15, 25; Proverbs 6:16-19).
I believe that Christians should seek to bring health and well-being (shalom) to the society into which God has placed us, for a healthy society benefits all members (Jeremiah 29:7).
I believe in a time when all will live long and healthy lives, from infancy to old age (Isaiah 65:20), and "mourning and crying and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:4). My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who watch their loved ones suffer, or who suffer themselves, because they cannot afford a trip to the doctor. I stand with them in their suffering.
I believe health-care reform must rest on a foundation of values that affirm each and every life as a sacred gift from the Creator (Genesis 2:7).
Amen.
Signed by:
[Your name]
[Your address]
Sign the petition here.
H/t to Grandmere Mimi
A Christian Creed on Health-Care Reform
As one of God's children, I believe that protecting the health of each human being is a profoundly important personal and communal responsibility for people of faith.
I believe God created each person in the divine image to be spiritually and physically healthy. I feel the pain of sickness and disease in our broken world (Genesis 1:27, Romans 8:22).
I believe life and healing are core tenets of the Christian life. Christ's ministry included physical healing, and we are called to participate in God's new creation as instruments of healing and redemption (Matthew 4:23, Luke 9:1-6; Mark 7:32-35, Acts 10:38). Our nation should strive to ensure all people have access to life-giving treatments and care.
I believe, as taught by the Hebrew prophets and Jesus, that the measure of a society is seen in how it treats the most vulnerable. The current discussion about health-care reform is important for the United States to move toward a more just system of providing care to all people (Isaiah 1:16-17, Jeremiah 7:5-7, Matthew 25:31-45).
I believe that all people have a moral obligation to tell the truth. To serve the common good of our entire nation, all parties debating reform should tell the truth and refrain from distorting facts or using fear-based messaging (Leviticus 19:11; Ephesians 4:14-15, 25; Proverbs 6:16-19).
I believe that Christians should seek to bring health and well-being (shalom) to the society into which God has placed us, for a healthy society benefits all members (Jeremiah 29:7).
I believe in a time when all will live long and healthy lives, from infancy to old age (Isaiah 65:20), and "mourning and crying and pain will be no more" (Revelation 21:4). My heart breaks for my brothers and sisters who watch their loved ones suffer, or who suffer themselves, because they cannot afford a trip to the doctor. I stand with them in their suffering.
I believe health-care reform must rest on a foundation of values that affirm each and every life as a sacred gift from the Creator (Genesis 2:7).
Amen.
Signed by:
[Your name]
[Your address]
Sign the petition here.
H/t to Grandmere Mimi
Monday, August 24, 2009
In God's Office
It was an interesting Sunday for yr hmbl srvnt. Earlier this year my Lady Wife and I went up to check out the Festival of Short Plays at the Kid's university. She was directing one (which was brilliant) but we also saw another show that jumped out at us. The Kid and I both instantly wanted to do it for the home congregation.
The show is "In God's Office" by Damian Trasler, a 10 minute piece that revolves around a delivery man who walks into, you guessed it, God's Office. What grabbed me was that the playwright managed to combine some funny bits with some uncomfortable, shift in your seat moments into a very nice complete short piece. We decided to give it a spin by having the kid play God. A 21 year old young woman dressed with a slight hippy flair.
She was brilliant.
To be honest I was a little nervous. Since the mid-80's I've only done a couple pieces of theater and I worry a little about my ability to memorize lines. Not that it was ever a problem and it isn't now. I just like to worry about stuff. I actually learned all my lines in less than two weeks time and did a pretty good job of getting them all out in the right order and using the words that Mr. Trasler had so carefully chosen. (Note: Damian is English, living in Canada. His dialogue reads like "English" English rather than "American" English. So we took a few liberties and changed some small bits so we didn't sound like utter yutzes. We hope the author will forgive us).
We got laughs in all the right places, congratulations all round and even a "Bravo" from the local newspaper's longtime theater critic who just happens to be a member of the congregation.
So, yeah, it felt good.
It also means the Kid and I can check one item off our "Bucket List" since we've talked about performing together for a long time now. I'd certainly look forward to working with her again. She finds my pre-performance butterflies rather comical in an annoying sort of way.
Of course it didn't occur to me until the time had come (we did this in place of the sermon) that we'd never actually vetted the script with the clergy! They didn't ask either it should be noted. So they were going on total trust that they wouldn't have a lot of 'splainin' to do afterwards. Don't think that will be a problem.
So that's the last of the "big projects" for the summer. I'll probably take a couple days off this week. Time for the Kid to go back to college for one. Dad's always needed when there's heavy lifting around...
Peace
The show is "In God's Office" by Damian Trasler, a 10 minute piece that revolves around a delivery man who walks into, you guessed it, God's Office. What grabbed me was that the playwright managed to combine some funny bits with some uncomfortable, shift in your seat moments into a very nice complete short piece. We decided to give it a spin by having the kid play God. A 21 year old young woman dressed with a slight hippy flair.
She was brilliant.
To be honest I was a little nervous. Since the mid-80's I've only done a couple pieces of theater and I worry a little about my ability to memorize lines. Not that it was ever a problem and it isn't now. I just like to worry about stuff. I actually learned all my lines in less than two weeks time and did a pretty good job of getting them all out in the right order and using the words that Mr. Trasler had so carefully chosen. (Note: Damian is English, living in Canada. His dialogue reads like "English" English rather than "American" English. So we took a few liberties and changed some small bits so we didn't sound like utter yutzes. We hope the author will forgive us).
We got laughs in all the right places, congratulations all round and even a "Bravo" from the local newspaper's longtime theater critic who just happens to be a member of the congregation.
So, yeah, it felt good.
It also means the Kid and I can check one item off our "Bucket List" since we've talked about performing together for a long time now. I'd certainly look forward to working with her again. She finds my pre-performance butterflies rather comical in an annoying sort of way.
Of course it didn't occur to me until the time had come (we did this in place of the sermon) that we'd never actually vetted the script with the clergy! They didn't ask either it should be noted. So they were going on total trust that they wouldn't have a lot of 'splainin' to do afterwards. Don't think that will be a problem.
So that's the last of the "big projects" for the summer. I'll probably take a couple days off this week. Time for the Kid to go back to college for one. Dad's always needed when there's heavy lifting around...
Peace
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Bicyles, Theater and Golf
(Imagine my surprise when I checked in at MadPriest's blog this morning and discovered a link to me with the announcement of my "new project" starting tomorrow. Gulp! I thank His Madness for the prayers. Guess I better go double check my spelling)
In other news:
It was a great weekend for theater at Maison DaYouthGuy. We saw an adaptation of Edgar Lee Masters "Spoon River Anthology" done at our local cemetery. The venue was appropriate since SPR is really a series of epitaphs for the fictional people of his town. Many of the stories overlap and the local group who did it brought those stories together(review). It was very well done, at night lit by torches and lanterns (and a few carefully spotted electric lights). Nice to see something unusual and rather inventive being done around here. The next day we saw Tennessee William's "The Glass Menagerie", a very special play in my family. It was one of my best roles as a college actor and during the time of the show my wife and I (both in the cast - I as Tom and she as Laura) began to date. Really liked the show (although I had a few quibbles with the Tom portrayal, probably unavoidable, lol!) The cast was great as was the set. Don't know why I don't see more theater at Chautauqua it's just down the road and they have a great company and building. (Review - by a fellow Episcopalian no less!)
Finally got out onto the golf course for the first time. Golf is a wonderful, awful, magnificent, evil game. If you've ever played you understand that statement. Otherwise, just take my word. Given that I hadn't even picked up a club in about a year I wasn't too unhappy with the round. Hit a good many shots exceptionally well. But just one or two really bad ones will destroy your score. Curious moments. I lost four balls during nine holes. Yet I finished with the same ball I had teed up at number one. Thought I'd lost it several times only to find it again. After a fairly awful second half I played the final hole (a par 5) absolutely perfectly, gave myself a shot at an honest birdie and settled for a par when my putt came up just a few inches short. Weird game. I love it.
Rode the bike into work today. That's about 21 miles. Took slightly longer this time but I had to stop and get my sunglasses and bike lock from the kid and that slowed me down by about 10 minutes. Otherwise it was about 1:35 for the ride. Not too bad I think. I'm really hoping to get a lot more riding in but the schedule and the weather are not cooperating.
Peace
In other news:
It was a great weekend for theater at Maison DaYouthGuy. We saw an adaptation of Edgar Lee Masters "Spoon River Anthology" done at our local cemetery. The venue was appropriate since SPR is really a series of epitaphs for the fictional people of his town. Many of the stories overlap and the local group who did it brought those stories together(review). It was very well done, at night lit by torches and lanterns (and a few carefully spotted electric lights). Nice to see something unusual and rather inventive being done around here. The next day we saw Tennessee William's "The Glass Menagerie", a very special play in my family. It was one of my best roles as a college actor and during the time of the show my wife and I (both in the cast - I as Tom and she as Laura) began to date. Really liked the show (although I had a few quibbles with the Tom portrayal, probably unavoidable, lol!) The cast was great as was the set. Don't know why I don't see more theater at Chautauqua it's just down the road and they have a great company and building. (Review - by a fellow Episcopalian no less!)
Finally got out onto the golf course for the first time. Golf is a wonderful, awful, magnificent, evil game. If you've ever played you understand that statement. Otherwise, just take my word. Given that I hadn't even picked up a club in about a year I wasn't too unhappy with the round. Hit a good many shots exceptionally well. But just one or two really bad ones will destroy your score. Curious moments. I lost four balls during nine holes. Yet I finished with the same ball I had teed up at number one. Thought I'd lost it several times only to find it again. After a fairly awful second half I played the final hole (a par 5) absolutely perfectly, gave myself a shot at an honest birdie and settled for a par when my putt came up just a few inches short. Weird game. I love it.
Rode the bike into work today. That's about 21 miles. Took slightly longer this time but I had to stop and get my sunglasses and bike lock from the kid and that slowed me down by about 10 minutes. Otherwise it was about 1:35 for the ride. Not too bad I think. I'm really hoping to get a lot more riding in but the schedule and the weather are not cooperating.
Peace
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Thoughts on the blog
I started this blog six years ago as a way to keep people up to date on my adventures at General Convention 2003. Since then it's been a lot things for me. There has been one question I've always struggled with however. Is this primarily a ministry related blog or is it a personal blog that includes my ministry? It seems like there should be a dividing line between my "work" and my "life". At the same time I don't believe that a life in faith is properly lived out divided from the rest of our lives. We live our faith out best when it simply becomes part of the whole, coloring, flavoring and influencing who we are and what we say and do. My faith has certainly become that for me.
At the same time I know that I'm not now, nor am I likely to ever be one of those "nice Christians". It's just not in my nature. Some of what I think and occasionally say would set off some folks. Not just in the blogosphere but potentially in my "real" life as well. So I am faced with the question of how much I censor myself here simply out of self preservation. My lifelong attitude is that I work very hard, really sink myself into my work (and perhaps especially the work I've been doing for the last 9 years) and that any "company" dumb enough to fire me I probably don't want to work for. I've been told that's fairly arrogant. OK, I'll take your word for it. Why a company WOULDN'T want an intelligent, hard working employee who is willing to be as honest as he can for the good of the company I'm not quite sure. But then I don't get a lot of what passes for common wisdom. Some places prefer compliance to competence. So far that hasn't been a problem with the diocese (Thank you God and Bishop Michael!)
With that in mind I intend to broaden the scope of what I write about here. Currently it's mostly youth ministry and fairly trivial personal stuff. Beginning on Friday I'll be sharing the scripts to a media commentary program I do for a local low power FM radio station operated by our local Arts Council. I've been in and around the media my whole life either as a Baby Boomer raised by the TV, as a movie fan and later as radio professional. The opinions are fun for me and worth every penny the station pays for them (I'm a volunteer). I do three shows a week, each about two minutes thirty seconds. I'll combine the scripts into a single post of about 1200 words. No guarantee of profundity but it's something I do. In order to give priority to their broadcast I'll post the scripts on Fridays.
I will probably also begin to branch out into other topics all of which will be colored by my theology. We'll see how that goes. Again I have no idea if I have anything worth listening to but we won't know till we start.
It's time to see if this blog can stand the strain of being a fuller representative of its author.
Wish me luck.
Peace
At the same time I know that I'm not now, nor am I likely to ever be one of those "nice Christians". It's just not in my nature. Some of what I think and occasionally say would set off some folks. Not just in the blogosphere but potentially in my "real" life as well. So I am faced with the question of how much I censor myself here simply out of self preservation. My lifelong attitude is that I work very hard, really sink myself into my work (and perhaps especially the work I've been doing for the last 9 years) and that any "company" dumb enough to fire me I probably don't want to work for. I've been told that's fairly arrogant. OK, I'll take your word for it. Why a company WOULDN'T want an intelligent, hard working employee who is willing to be as honest as he can for the good of the company I'm not quite sure. But then I don't get a lot of what passes for common wisdom. Some places prefer compliance to competence. So far that hasn't been a problem with the diocese (Thank you God and Bishop Michael!)
With that in mind I intend to broaden the scope of what I write about here. Currently it's mostly youth ministry and fairly trivial personal stuff. Beginning on Friday I'll be sharing the scripts to a media commentary program I do for a local low power FM radio station operated by our local Arts Council. I've been in and around the media my whole life either as a Baby Boomer raised by the TV, as a movie fan and later as radio professional. The opinions are fun for me and worth every penny the station pays for them (I'm a volunteer). I do three shows a week, each about two minutes thirty seconds. I'll combine the scripts into a single post of about 1200 words. No guarantee of profundity but it's something I do. In order to give priority to their broadcast I'll post the scripts on Fridays.
I will probably also begin to branch out into other topics all of which will be colored by my theology. We'll see how that goes. Again I have no idea if I have anything worth listening to but we won't know till we start.
It's time to see if this blog can stand the strain of being a fuller representative of its author.
Wish me luck.
Peace
Friday, July 17, 2009
Something of a drought
I realized that I haven't posted a great deal recently other than routine things - resource reviews make up the majority of my posts over the last couple months. Take of the CREDO related ones and there's not much there. If you're still checking this blog you have my heart felt thanks.
So what's up? Not my mood at the moment. I'm feeling dis-spirited at the moment. It's mostly a convergence of little things. Post camp let down after Senior High. Always get that. The sadness that comes with the growing certainty that I'm going to cancel a camp this year. Junior High just has a handful of applications at the moment. We continue to struggle with the "why" question. Lower demographic numbers, bad economy, poor "marketing", combination of all of the above? Don't know. Add in having to do the financial report for senior high camp. Looks like we're close but OK there but it makes me crazy every year. I hate having to scrape and stint to make the budget work. I want to focus on the program and doing it right. SIGH. We're still hassling with a small problem with the mortgage on the house where I live (I don't hold the mortgage but I'm the executor to the estate that does). I wish I were getting clearer simpler answers than I am. And I wish this problem would go the hell away. I'm assured that the house will not be foreclosed upon (which is good since I'm living in it) but it wears on me.
Adding in is something that should be elevating my mood, our upcoming mission trip to New Orleans. I've never done a mission trip, ever. I'm always nervous before the first time I do something so that doesn't help. As a strong Myers-Briggs introvert these "everybody-all-together" events just wear on me. Add in the high heat and humidity down in NOLA this time of year and I have the potential for being miserable. I know, way to keep a good thought in my head, right? :)
In other news my bicycling is going well. A 20+ mile ride on Tuesday in less than 90 minutes was very encouraging. I rode into work without any trouble. Then I did another hour long ride of almost 13 miles two days later. One hill defeated me but otherwise it went well too. Between the weather and the mission trip I'm going to lose two weeks of cycling however.
My weight remains good. Steady at 175, then down to 173 this week with the riding. I'm hoping the work on the mission trip will make up for the lack of workouts. The next doctor's appointment is in 6 weeks. That's nagging at the back of my brain too.
I'm doing a little more creative stuff. Actually practicing my guitar every day for a least a little while. Need to do more of that stuff to balance the financial stuff.
The kid is doing her last weekend at her second summer job. It's a restaurant that is run strangely. They never seem to get around to posting a schedule for kitchen and wait staff (at another restaurant owned and operated by the same folks the staff simply started doing their own schedule and posting it. Management/ownership doesn't seem to care.) Plus strange attitudes on how things get done, decor, food etc. The whole situation was just making her crazy so she decided on her own to drop it. Tonight and tomorrow and she's free. And will be much happier.
I have lots of things to get done. At the moment I can't seem to put my hands on things however. I know I got an e-mail about something left at camp. I have the item, can't find the e-mail. Weird but typical for what's going on.
So hopefully I'll find the on switch again and get moving a little faster. I AM getting things done but slower than usual. I'm thinking about some things to write here but I'm not sure about them. I'll probably post about that process soon.
Pray for the youth of the diocese and the future of their programs.
Pray for me.
Peace
So what's up? Not my mood at the moment. I'm feeling dis-spirited at the moment. It's mostly a convergence of little things. Post camp let down after Senior High. Always get that. The sadness that comes with the growing certainty that I'm going to cancel a camp this year. Junior High just has a handful of applications at the moment. We continue to struggle with the "why" question. Lower demographic numbers, bad economy, poor "marketing", combination of all of the above? Don't know. Add in having to do the financial report for senior high camp. Looks like we're close but OK there but it makes me crazy every year. I hate having to scrape and stint to make the budget work. I want to focus on the program and doing it right. SIGH. We're still hassling with a small problem with the mortgage on the house where I live (I don't hold the mortgage but I'm the executor to the estate that does). I wish I were getting clearer simpler answers than I am. And I wish this problem would go the hell away. I'm assured that the house will not be foreclosed upon (which is good since I'm living in it) but it wears on me.
Adding in is something that should be elevating my mood, our upcoming mission trip to New Orleans. I've never done a mission trip, ever. I'm always nervous before the first time I do something so that doesn't help. As a strong Myers-Briggs introvert these "everybody-all-together" events just wear on me. Add in the high heat and humidity down in NOLA this time of year and I have the potential for being miserable. I know, way to keep a good thought in my head, right? :)
In other news my bicycling is going well. A 20+ mile ride on Tuesday in less than 90 minutes was very encouraging. I rode into work without any trouble. Then I did another hour long ride of almost 13 miles two days later. One hill defeated me but otherwise it went well too. Between the weather and the mission trip I'm going to lose two weeks of cycling however.
My weight remains good. Steady at 175, then down to 173 this week with the riding. I'm hoping the work on the mission trip will make up for the lack of workouts. The next doctor's appointment is in 6 weeks. That's nagging at the back of my brain too.
I'm doing a little more creative stuff. Actually practicing my guitar every day for a least a little while. Need to do more of that stuff to balance the financial stuff.
The kid is doing her last weekend at her second summer job. It's a restaurant that is run strangely. They never seem to get around to posting a schedule for kitchen and wait staff (at another restaurant owned and operated by the same folks the staff simply started doing their own schedule and posting it. Management/ownership doesn't seem to care.) Plus strange attitudes on how things get done, decor, food etc. The whole situation was just making her crazy so she decided on her own to drop it. Tonight and tomorrow and she's free. And will be much happier.
I have lots of things to get done. At the moment I can't seem to put my hands on things however. I know I got an e-mail about something left at camp. I have the item, can't find the e-mail. Weird but typical for what's going on.
So hopefully I'll find the on switch again and get moving a little faster. I AM getting things done but slower than usual. I'm thinking about some things to write here but I'm not sure about them. I'll probably post about that process soon.
Pray for the youth of the diocese and the future of their programs.
Pray for me.
Peace
Friday, July 10, 2009
So How did you do it?
Thoughts on Losing Weight
The most common comments made to me these days are linked. It goes something like this:
The most common comments made to me these days are linked. It goes something like this:
"You look great/ You've lost weight! How did you do it?"
First, to everyone who has noticed, thank you. I've lost 40 pounds in 15 months. I'm trying to whittle away 10 more. I feel great and yes, I appreciate all the compliments.
As to the second part I thought maybe I should offer my simple thoughts on how I got to where I am since I know so many other people are struggling with weight issues. For me it came down to three simple concepts:
Eat Less - The first thing you need to accept is that you eat too much. You probably don't think you do but if you're the average American you're eating way more than you need. I always maintained that my food consumption was OK, it was always something else. I was wrong and it's extremely likely you're wrong too. Don't believe me? Do a food journal for a week. If you bite it, write it. Two M&Ms? Write it down and figure the calories. There are great websites to help you do this. Be prepared to be appalled at how much you eat. The average restaurant meal is at least twice as large as you need. Just ask for the to go box as soon as the meal arrives and put half of your meal in it. It really is that simple.
Eat Smart - Now you need to pay attention to what goes in your mouth. A lot of what we eat falls into these categories - simple carbohydrates, sugar, salt and saturated fats. Basically none of these are very good for us. You need some of them but not much. Move to complex carbs, reduce sugar, use unsaturated/mono saturated fats. Eat veggies instead of sugar, eat lean meats instead of fatty ones. It sounded complicated and boring to me when I started. In fact the shift can be done quickly and easily. I'm not a big fan of "diets". A diet is just what you eat. You need to re-learn how to eat and you never need to go on another "diet". I did find some very useful help in re-learning how to eat from the South Beach Diet, which was recommended to me by my doctor. Ignore diets that eliminate some category of food or over-emphasize a category. You want a balanced diet of good foods.
Exercise - I HATE to exercise. Always have. I'll admit that I now enjoy the RESULTS of exercise enough to get me into a gym on a regular basis. The thing about exercise is that you have to be willing to push yourself past the comfort zone. That's past the point that says "I'm tired, this is no fun, I'm starting to hurt". Don't go overboard right at the start and hurt yourself but you must, must, MUST commit to pushing yourself. Hot, sweaty, boring exercise. As soon as it starts to get easier (which happens with startlingly quickly) you have to push yourself back into a hot, sweaty hard zone again. And again. And again. Until you reach your goal you can't get comfortable with your exercise level. But the rewards! To suddenly drop clothing sizes, to start getting the compliments, to take a look at yourself in the mirror(have you stopped doing that? I did because I didn't want to acknowledge what it showed me.) and say "Wow. When did that happen?" You'll feel good, and beautiful and sexy. And that's really wonderful.
I've dropped just about two sizes in shirts and pants. Someone mistook me for a teenager walking across a parking lot recently. Folks I've known for years don't recognize me at first. I haven't done anything extreme or strange. I've followed the three steps above.
And I accepted that it was going to take time to do it. Programs, diets, pills, whatever that promises you that you can lose weight "fast" are lying to you. Yes, you may lose weight quickly but because you haven't re-learned how to eat you're going to gain it all back. The quick weight loss idea is a mirage, a lie. Be prepared for this to take months at the very least. I could have, maybe even should have lost this weight faster than I did. But it took me a while to figure out the "Eat Smart" piece completely. Turns out there was a lot of extra sugar sneaking into my diet that I didn't notice. There were a few other problems too.
But you know what? I've kept this weight off. It's fluctuated a little but never more than 4 pounds over 18 months. It works if you're ready to make the change.
Trust me, it's worth it.
Peace
First, to everyone who has noticed, thank you. I've lost 40 pounds in 15 months. I'm trying to whittle away 10 more. I feel great and yes, I appreciate all the compliments.
As to the second part I thought maybe I should offer my simple thoughts on how I got to where I am since I know so many other people are struggling with weight issues. For me it came down to three simple concepts:
Eat Less - The first thing you need to accept is that you eat too much. You probably don't think you do but if you're the average American you're eating way more than you need. I always maintained that my food consumption was OK, it was always something else. I was wrong and it's extremely likely you're wrong too. Don't believe me? Do a food journal for a week. If you bite it, write it. Two M&Ms? Write it down and figure the calories. There are great websites to help you do this. Be prepared to be appalled at how much you eat. The average restaurant meal is at least twice as large as you need. Just ask for the to go box as soon as the meal arrives and put half of your meal in it. It really is that simple.
Eat Smart - Now you need to pay attention to what goes in your mouth. A lot of what we eat falls into these categories - simple carbohydrates, sugar, salt and saturated fats. Basically none of these are very good for us. You need some of them but not much. Move to complex carbs, reduce sugar, use unsaturated/mono saturated fats. Eat veggies instead of sugar, eat lean meats instead of fatty ones. It sounded complicated and boring to me when I started. In fact the shift can be done quickly and easily. I'm not a big fan of "diets". A diet is just what you eat. You need to re-learn how to eat and you never need to go on another "diet". I did find some very useful help in re-learning how to eat from the South Beach Diet, which was recommended to me by my doctor. Ignore diets that eliminate some category of food or over-emphasize a category. You want a balanced diet of good foods.
Exercise - I HATE to exercise. Always have. I'll admit that I now enjoy the RESULTS of exercise enough to get me into a gym on a regular basis. The thing about exercise is that you have to be willing to push yourself past the comfort zone. That's past the point that says "I'm tired, this is no fun, I'm starting to hurt". Don't go overboard right at the start and hurt yourself but you must, must, MUST commit to pushing yourself. Hot, sweaty, boring exercise. As soon as it starts to get easier (which happens with startlingly quickly) you have to push yourself back into a hot, sweaty hard zone again. And again. And again. Until you reach your goal you can't get comfortable with your exercise level. But the rewards! To suddenly drop clothing sizes, to start getting the compliments, to take a look at yourself in the mirror(have you stopped doing that? I did because I didn't want to acknowledge what it showed me.) and say "Wow. When did that happen?" You'll feel good, and beautiful and sexy. And that's really wonderful.
I've dropped just about two sizes in shirts and pants. Someone mistook me for a teenager walking across a parking lot recently. Folks I've known for years don't recognize me at first. I haven't done anything extreme or strange. I've followed the three steps above.
And I accepted that it was going to take time to do it. Programs, diets, pills, whatever that promises you that you can lose weight "fast" are lying to you. Yes, you may lose weight quickly but because you haven't re-learned how to eat you're going to gain it all back. The quick weight loss idea is a mirage, a lie. Be prepared for this to take months at the very least. I could have, maybe even should have lost this weight faster than I did. But it took me a while to figure out the "Eat Smart" piece completely. Turns out there was a lot of extra sugar sneaking into my diet that I didn't notice. There were a few other problems too.
But you know what? I've kept this weight off. It's fluctuated a little but never more than 4 pounds over 18 months. It works if you're ready to make the change.
Trust me, it's worth it.
Peace
Monday, June 15, 2009
An intereting question
Adam McLane the tech guru at YS (and all round good guy) wrote a very interesting article about "What to Say When the Youth Pastor Leaves". He notes a behavior I'd never heard of before, folks being paid off to say they had quit when in fact they were being fired. It strikes me as an incredibly dishonest thing for a church to be doing and, as Adam notes, rather cowardly. Apparently the idea is that you're "sparing" the congregation and/or the youth pain if the pastor is leaving "voluntarily" and to ease the pain for the pastor you bribe him/her to lie.I wrote the following in the comments then thought it might be appropriate for me to offer here on my own blog too. Here's what I said:
"Having said that let me note what happened in my last job (in the media not the church). I was offered the choice. I could quit or be fired. No mention of any penalty one way or the other. I chose to “quit” for the good of the staff. We’d lost several other key players (I left with 17 years experience and from a management post) within the last 6 months. Employee morale was in the toilet and in my considered opinion it would be better for the ongoing work environment if I “quit”. So I wrote my letter of resignation, packed my box, got hugged on and walked out. Was it a lie? From a plain reading of the situation yes. I did not leave voluntarily, I was out the door one way or the other (and in the long view thank God for that!).
So did I do wrong? I’m comfortable with what and why I did it. Be interested in other thoughts."
I have no doubt that my subterfuge was thin enough that everyone recognized it for what it was. My passion for my job and that company had in fact been the final straw that had pushed me out the door (note to self - don't tell consultants they're wrong, even when they are.) I was the "face" of my radio station and had been for over a decade. Unless I got a new and better gig I wasn't going anywhere. But I didn't think my co-workers, who had to remain behind, would be best served by having yet another long timer shown the door by management. Maybe I was wrong but as I said I'm comfortable with what I did.
Any thoughts?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Post Credo update
This is probably something I should and will do on a semi-regular basis. Part of the concept of CREDO is make good changes in your life. Another part of it is accountability and I decided to make this blog part of my accountability process.
So here's where we stand:
Goal #1 A Healthier Lifestyle - I have the basic concept of a sabbatical approved and I'm homing in on a concept. I'm working on my spiritual life (got a book on the writings of Julian of Norwich which I'm starting) and my exercise routine has kicked back in with the bike coming into play now. We've started the conversation about our finances as well. So I'm happy here.
Goal #2 - Expand and empower others in leadership. I'm working hard at handing leadership roles to other people. I think both I and they find that strange but we'll keep on working on it. I need to get started thinking about a leaders event for the fall. It's a start.
Goal #3 - Develop and expand projects for my communication gifts. Got a new piece of equipment to start that and I've been struggling to get it to work. Finally just did a work around and it works. Now I have to take the plunge. I did try something new and rather silly but it was fun anyway. I'll keep playing with this to make them better as I go along:
I'll have some more new projects coming up as well. These will actually have me in them (Scary, I know!)
Finally I've streamlined how I deal with my e-mail and that seems to be much more efficient. I've also consolidated my contact information into one central place and everything else has to come from that one central location. That's been a great help as well.
So just, wow it's been two months already and I'm still on track and working on my goals. Thanks to everyone IRL (that's In Real Life) who has supported me so far in this trip. Special thanks and love to my two ladies and my CREDO small group!
Peace
So here's where we stand:
Goal #1 A Healthier Lifestyle - I have the basic concept of a sabbatical approved and I'm homing in on a concept. I'm working on my spiritual life (got a book on the writings of Julian of Norwich which I'm starting) and my exercise routine has kicked back in with the bike coming into play now. We've started the conversation about our finances as well. So I'm happy here.
Goal #2 - Expand and empower others in leadership. I'm working hard at handing leadership roles to other people. I think both I and they find that strange but we'll keep on working on it. I need to get started thinking about a leaders event for the fall. It's a start.
Goal #3 - Develop and expand projects for my communication gifts. Got a new piece of equipment to start that and I've been struggling to get it to work. Finally just did a work around and it works. Now I have to take the plunge. I did try something new and rather silly but it was fun anyway. I'll keep playing with this to make them better as I go along:
I'll have some more new projects coming up as well. These will actually have me in them (Scary, I know!)
Finally I've streamlined how I deal with my e-mail and that seems to be much more efficient. I've also consolidated my contact information into one central place and everything else has to come from that one central location. That's been a great help as well.
So just, wow it's been two months already and I'm still on track and working on my goals. Thanks to everyone IRL (that's In Real Life) who has supported me so far in this trip. Special thanks and love to my two ladies and my CREDO small group!
Peace
Translated Part two
Part 2 I mentioned earlier this week that Stuart Delony (above) had asked me some questions as a way to keep his blog active while he is away on a training trip. He broke mine into two posts (he did that with lots of other folks too!) and here are my answers (in my usual rather smart a$$ fashion) to the second two questions.
Part 1
Monday, June 08, 2009
An update
Well I've gotten out of the habit recently of doing a weekly update. In hindsight the ended up being mostly filler. If something interesting happened I'd post about it, not wait to do an end of week review. So I'm deep sixing that and just going with periodic posts about anything that I think might be interesting.
Reading a new author, at least to me. Susan Howatch is an author I've heard a lot of fellow Episcopalians/Anglicans talk about usually in glowing terms. (There's always a grump or two). I've been taking to wandering the stacks of the library looking for something new to read and stumbled on "Glittering Images" the first book in what's called the Starbridge series. It's the story of an Anglican priest in the 1930's and his spiritual, physical and familial struggles. To be honest the first couple hundred pages I kept thinking "Why am I reading this?" But the writing was good and the characters interesting so I kept on and now I'm hooked. I was almost late getting out the door this morning because I was engrossed in the reading.
I find it interesting as well because the main character is struggling with some of the same issues I am at roughly the same age (he's a few years younger). So the story is speaking very strongly to me. I'll be interested to see how the rest of her work goes.
Starting exploring a new movie thread too. Got a series of Harold Lloyd films from Netflix. I've never seen any of his work, which is highly regarded by film buffs. What surprised me was how long the first one was, 1928's "Speedy", 86 minutes. I know I went in with the mindset of movies from 5-10 years earlier that only ran a couple reels but I was still surprised. This is also a very high quality movie, great photography and action scenes. But the really amazing moment is when Lloyd "flips off" his image in a mirror! It's unmistakable that he offers the classic one finger salute quite clearly. Apparently this slid through because it was before the hated Hays Office was created. I ran it back just to make sure I had seen it. Oh yes, to yearn for more innocent days!
Not much else going on 'round here.
Peace
Reading a new author, at least to me. Susan Howatch is an author I've heard a lot of fellow Episcopalians/Anglicans talk about usually in glowing terms. (There's always a grump or two). I've been taking to wandering the stacks of the library looking for something new to read and stumbled on "Glittering Images" the first book in what's called the Starbridge series. It's the story of an Anglican priest in the 1930's and his spiritual, physical and familial struggles. To be honest the first couple hundred pages I kept thinking "Why am I reading this?" But the writing was good and the characters interesting so I kept on and now I'm hooked. I was almost late getting out the door this morning because I was engrossed in the reading.
I find it interesting as well because the main character is struggling with some of the same issues I am at roughly the same age (he's a few years younger). So the story is speaking very strongly to me. I'll be interested to see how the rest of her work goes.
Starting exploring a new movie thread too. Got a series of Harold Lloyd films from Netflix. I've never seen any of his work, which is highly regarded by film buffs. What surprised me was how long the first one was, 1928's "Speedy", 86 minutes. I know I went in with the mindset of movies from 5-10 years earlier that only ran a couple reels but I was still surprised. This is also a very high quality movie, great photography and action scenes. But the really amazing moment is when Lloyd "flips off" his image in a mirror! It's unmistakable that he offers the classic one finger salute quite clearly. Apparently this slid through because it was before the hated Hays Office was created. I ran it back just to make sure I had seen it. Oh yes, to yearn for more innocent days!
Not much else going on 'round here.
Peace
Friday, June 05, 2009
Milestones
Two events of some level of importance happened this week.
First - for the last several years (hmm, like 6-7?) reaching the minimum number needed to put on some of our camp programs has been a stomach churning and occasionally heart breaking process. So it was great earlier this week to realize that we would pass that milestone for our Senior High Conference with almost a month to go. There have been several years where we took it right down to the wire and then some. Begging, pleading, arm twisting and more. At the moment we are past the minimum number with at least a handful more still to come that I'm confident of seeing. There maybe another handful out there as well. So very good. We may still have to go through the agony for our next two camps but it's great to have breathing room for a change at the start of the summer.
Second - I'm only going to give a tease here because I want to do a little bit of fancy stuff about this later today. I've been looking for challenges for my bike riding this summer beyond my annual ride around the lake (about 42 miles). I'd been eyeing one particular hill coming up from the flatlands along Lake Erie up to the village where I live. The hill is about 6 miles long with no real breaks in the climb. If I remember correctly you rise some 800 feet over the course of the ride. I had really put that down as a train all summer and take it on at the end kind of challenge. Well today I rode the "back way" into the village where the climb starts with a couple friends and they said "Let's do it today!". On my third ride of the year. With only 20 miles under my belt and 10 of those had come that very morning.
Sure. Why not?
And I whupped that hill. The ride took 45 minutes which is well below what I had expected. We stopped once about half way up to make sure everyone was OK. The break was about 2 minutes. I'm fairly certain I could have made it without stopping, I really felt pretty strong at that point. That climb would have been flat out impossible a year ago. Just amazing. (OK that turned out to be more than a tease)
It's been a good week.
Peace
First - for the last several years (hmm, like 6-7?) reaching the minimum number needed to put on some of our camp programs has been a stomach churning and occasionally heart breaking process. So it was great earlier this week to realize that we would pass that milestone for our Senior High Conference with almost a month to go. There have been several years where we took it right down to the wire and then some. Begging, pleading, arm twisting and more. At the moment we are past the minimum number with at least a handful more still to come that I'm confident of seeing. There maybe another handful out there as well. So very good. We may still have to go through the agony for our next two camps but it's great to have breathing room for a change at the start of the summer.
Second - I'm only going to give a tease here because I want to do a little bit of fancy stuff about this later today. I've been looking for challenges for my bike riding this summer beyond my annual ride around the lake (about 42 miles). I'd been eyeing one particular hill coming up from the flatlands along Lake Erie up to the village where I live. The hill is about 6 miles long with no real breaks in the climb. If I remember correctly you rise some 800 feet over the course of the ride. I had really put that down as a train all summer and take it on at the end kind of challenge. Well today I rode the "back way" into the village where the climb starts with a couple friends and they said "Let's do it today!". On my third ride of the year. With only 20 miles under my belt and 10 of those had come that very morning.
Sure. Why not?
And I whupped that hill. The ride took 45 minutes which is well below what I had expected. We stopped once about half way up to make sure everyone was OK. The break was about 2 minutes. I'm fairly certain I could have made it without stopping, I really felt pretty strong at that point. That climb would have been flat out impossible a year ago. Just amazing. (OK that turned out to be more than a tease)
It's been a good week.
Peace
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