Well I've kinda caught up with this being my THIRD post of the week! Hope it makes up for not having a new post next week again. This time I have an excuse (other than carelessness or senility). I will be at our Senior High Conference next week. I am the conference director so I'll be hopping at times - and comatose the rest. It's a great event and we've got 41 young people signed up for it! That's very exciting after a difficult year last year. At the moment I'm into my last minute melt down mode, trying desperately to remember to bring, pack, prepare everything. I'm having DREAMS about camp! If you'd like to see what our conference looks like click on the title for this post and it'll take you there.
So I'll be back after the 4th of July. Till then I hope you have a great week and keep us in your prayers!
Peace
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Offered without Comment
Today the Episcopal Church (USA) will be making a presentation to the Anglican Consultative Council. The text of that presentation (a .pdf of 135 pages) is available at the link in the title of this entry.
I offer it without comment for your consideration.
Peace
I offer it without comment for your consideration.
Peace
Monday, June 20, 2005
For the Captain
Since yesterday was Father's Day I keep being nagged by the feeling that I should write something about my dad. I just don't know where to begin.
My dad has reached an almost "legendary" status in the family and I'm not sure I really want to continue down that road. He was human and a very real person. I can only imagine that he'd be less than impressed by having been reduced to a "legend".
My father was, as I commonly say, an engineer by training and a Naval officer by choice. He was a very intelligent man and one who believed in precision and discipline. His nickname is my given name and I look and sound like him. There's a picture from last fall where I look so much like him that it's a little frightening. It's made me realize that there's a part of me that doesn't want to look like the old man. Part of that comes with the name and the looks. I've been "little" J and "young" J and JD (to his JK) for most of my life. Being held up to that standard has always felt like an impossible burden. Even with "The Captain" gone for five years it still feels like I 'm just not going to live up to him. And I think that would make him sad.
I don't think that Pop ever wanted us (three boys in my family) to feel like he was setting us up to fall short. In fact I'm sure that his goal was to set us up to succeed. To have the discipline needed to survive the hard times and use our intelligence to guide us through the good times. I know that he took the task of parenthood very seriously. Looking back maybe we would have better off if he'd taken it just a shade less seriously. But he was a serious person.
I see a lot of him in me and my brothers, both good and bad. We've all gone our own ways, done our own things and on balance have done pretty well for ourselves. While some folks look at us, so reserved and quiet mostly, and think that we're not very close I know that's not true. In times of trouble my brothers have been there for me and I know that I can trust them completely. I hope they feel the same way about me. Not a day goes by when I don't think about them. And my dad. I see his negatives too. We can be brusque and none of us tolerate fools. Period. We're not real good at getting all emotionally expressive and don't trust that part of our personalities much. Big emotional displays will pretty much put us into shut down mode till we can "move on". I'm not apologizing for that, it's who we are. There are advantages and disadvantages to it. It can make it hard on the folks around us that we love. If I had to chose two guys to have on either side of me when the troubles begin they would be at the top of the list.
So I can't get away from who my father was because it's very much caught up in who I am. After five years I miss him, even the times when he made me feel like an idiot schoolboy. I was finally getting to the point where I could catch him out sometimes too. He loved cars, and intelligent people. If you were his friend it was for life. His friends are still some of the most amazing people I've ever known. As was he.
He married a pretty incredible woman too. I'll probably talk about her sometime too.
On Father's day I remembered my daddy, my pop, my daughter's "Grandpa Captain Sir"
Jack K Phillippi, USNR (dec)
Peace
My dad has reached an almost "legendary" status in the family and I'm not sure I really want to continue down that road. He was human and a very real person. I can only imagine that he'd be less than impressed by having been reduced to a "legend".
My father was, as I commonly say, an engineer by training and a Naval officer by choice. He was a very intelligent man and one who believed in precision and discipline. His nickname is my given name and I look and sound like him. There's a picture from last fall where I look so much like him that it's a little frightening. It's made me realize that there's a part of me that doesn't want to look like the old man. Part of that comes with the name and the looks. I've been "little" J and "young" J and JD (to his JK) for most of my life. Being held up to that standard has always felt like an impossible burden. Even with "The Captain" gone for five years it still feels like I 'm just not going to live up to him. And I think that would make him sad.
I don't think that Pop ever wanted us (three boys in my family) to feel like he was setting us up to fall short. In fact I'm sure that his goal was to set us up to succeed. To have the discipline needed to survive the hard times and use our intelligence to guide us through the good times. I know that he took the task of parenthood very seriously. Looking back maybe we would have better off if he'd taken it just a shade less seriously. But he was a serious person.
I see a lot of him in me and my brothers, both good and bad. We've all gone our own ways, done our own things and on balance have done pretty well for ourselves. While some folks look at us, so reserved and quiet mostly, and think that we're not very close I know that's not true. In times of trouble my brothers have been there for me and I know that I can trust them completely. I hope they feel the same way about me. Not a day goes by when I don't think about them. And my dad. I see his negatives too. We can be brusque and none of us tolerate fools. Period. We're not real good at getting all emotionally expressive and don't trust that part of our personalities much. Big emotional displays will pretty much put us into shut down mode till we can "move on". I'm not apologizing for that, it's who we are. There are advantages and disadvantages to it. It can make it hard on the folks around us that we love. If I had to chose two guys to have on either side of me when the troubles begin they would be at the top of the list.
So I can't get away from who my father was because it's very much caught up in who I am. After five years I miss him, even the times when he made me feel like an idiot schoolboy. I was finally getting to the point where I could catch him out sometimes too. He loved cars, and intelligent people. If you were his friend it was for life. His friends are still some of the most amazing people I've ever known. As was he.
He married a pretty incredible woman too. I'll probably talk about her sometime too.
On Father's day I remembered my daddy, my pop, my daughter's "Grandpa Captain Sir"
Jack K Phillippi, USNR (dec)
Peace
Friday, June 17, 2005
The subject of marriage
My friend Mindi is feeling the stress about marriage. A young man who used to be in my youth group just got married. I just realized that I will be traveling next year on my 24th wedding anniversary. Seems like marriage has been a recurring thought of late. So maybe it's time for me to talk it out.
First my former youth getting married - I've known John since he was about 6 and he was a handful and a half. One year on retreat when he was middle school age he got into a huge row with the kid he was rooming with that blew up into a confrontation with me and the other adults. John never had any of the "big" problems but he sometimes seemed to have a full portion of the "small" problems of growing up. And there he stood, in white tuxedo, so emotional about marrying the woman he loves that tears were streaming down his face. John really has grown up into a helluva nice guy, one that I'm proud to say is now a friend. Watching "my kids" grow and get married makes me feel old. But it also makes me fall in love with marriage all over again.
Mindi is feeling the cultural heat, I think, of a woman past a certain age that hasn't been married yet. Like somehow she's not a complete person. What a crock. As much as I love being married I've watched too many folks I know get married for the wrong reasons. (The list of "wrong reasons" to get married could fill a good sized book so I won't go into them here. I bet you can come up with a fairly complete list on your own) Putting pressure on ourselves and our loved ones (but do we really love someone that we inflict these kinds of ridiculous expectations on?) to get married just....well, because...is stupid, hurtful to the people involved and disrespectful to the institution of marriage. I hope and pray that the right person for Mindi comes along and they sweep each other mutually off their feet for a lifetime of crazed happiness.
Let me take a minute to talk about the disrespect for marriage. It starts with a glorification of weddings. This needs to be clear - a wedding is a one day event, marriage is intended to be the rest of your life. The current ongoing and growing rage for creating "fairy tale" weddings that are ever more grandiose and expensive is, in my opinion, an incredibly bad idea and disrespectful to marriage. When your wedding is "perfect" (spare me)and glorious and wonderful, how do you survive the day to day mundane rest of your life? How can it not suffer? Why would you not look at that other person shuffling out of bed in the morning with pillow head, puffy eyes and scruffy clothes and not find them seriously lacking in comparison to the vision that stood next to you at your wedding. Beyond that is the huge monetary outlay for a one day event instead of investing that money in the future of the couple. I'm a firm believer that marriages would be better off with simpler ceremonies followed by handing the young couple a check for the balance.
Every time I attend a wedding ceremony the words bring tears to my eyes and I end up holding hands with my wife. The vows I made that day over 23 years ago still have a hold on me. My lady wife and I have been through sickness and health in that time, I've been unemployed twice (so far), so has she, we're finishing up raising a child to adult hood (with that set of adventures), moved 7 times (so far)and in the end still find out greatest joy in one another. Just the sound of her voice still kicks up my heart rate, and doing anything is more fun if we do it together.
The longer I write the more thoughts I have about marriage but I'll knock it off now. With one last thought - I believe that the largest cause of divorce is not taking marriage seriously enough. Not so much DURING but BEFORE folks get married. We've made it all about the wrong things so we shouldn't be surprised when it blows up. There's wisdom in the old saw "Marry in haste, repent at leisure".
Peace
First my former youth getting married - I've known John since he was about 6 and he was a handful and a half. One year on retreat when he was middle school age he got into a huge row with the kid he was rooming with that blew up into a confrontation with me and the other adults. John never had any of the "big" problems but he sometimes seemed to have a full portion of the "small" problems of growing up. And there he stood, in white tuxedo, so emotional about marrying the woman he loves that tears were streaming down his face. John really has grown up into a helluva nice guy, one that I'm proud to say is now a friend. Watching "my kids" grow and get married makes me feel old. But it also makes me fall in love with marriage all over again.
Mindi is feeling the cultural heat, I think, of a woman past a certain age that hasn't been married yet. Like somehow she's not a complete person. What a crock. As much as I love being married I've watched too many folks I know get married for the wrong reasons. (The list of "wrong reasons" to get married could fill a good sized book so I won't go into them here. I bet you can come up with a fairly complete list on your own) Putting pressure on ourselves and our loved ones (but do we really love someone that we inflict these kinds of ridiculous expectations on?) to get married just....well, because...is stupid, hurtful to the people involved and disrespectful to the institution of marriage. I hope and pray that the right person for Mindi comes along and they sweep each other mutually off their feet for a lifetime of crazed happiness.
Let me take a minute to talk about the disrespect for marriage. It starts with a glorification of weddings. This needs to be clear - a wedding is a one day event, marriage is intended to be the rest of your life. The current ongoing and growing rage for creating "fairy tale" weddings that are ever more grandiose and expensive is, in my opinion, an incredibly bad idea and disrespectful to marriage. When your wedding is "perfect" (spare me)and glorious and wonderful, how do you survive the day to day mundane rest of your life? How can it not suffer? Why would you not look at that other person shuffling out of bed in the morning with pillow head, puffy eyes and scruffy clothes and not find them seriously lacking in comparison to the vision that stood next to you at your wedding. Beyond that is the huge monetary outlay for a one day event instead of investing that money in the future of the couple. I'm a firm believer that marriages would be better off with simpler ceremonies followed by handing the young couple a check for the balance.
Every time I attend a wedding ceremony the words bring tears to my eyes and I end up holding hands with my wife. The vows I made that day over 23 years ago still have a hold on me. My lady wife and I have been through sickness and health in that time, I've been unemployed twice (so far), so has she, we're finishing up raising a child to adult hood (with that set of adventures), moved 7 times (so far)and in the end still find out greatest joy in one another. Just the sound of her voice still kicks up my heart rate, and doing anything is more fun if we do it together.
The longer I write the more thoughts I have about marriage but I'll knock it off now. With one last thought - I believe that the largest cause of divorce is not taking marriage seriously enough. Not so much DURING but BEFORE folks get married. We've made it all about the wrong things so we shouldn't be surprised when it blows up. There's wisdom in the old saw "Marry in haste, repent at leisure".
Peace
blog tag
I saw this on Rev Ref's blog and took the challenge. Like him I won't "tag" someone (this is the blogosphere I don't got to follow no stinkin' rules!)but if you're passing through and would like to play go for it.
I couldn't resist because it's about books.
How many books do you own?
Umm, hundreds? And that doesn't count the hundreds I've given away because I run out of space. And my lady wife owns hundreds more and my daughter probably owns a hundred by herself. Yes, her father's house is full of book shelves.
What is the last book you bought?
Umm, wow. Let's see Mike Yacconelli's "Messy Spirituality" and Brian D. McLaren's "a Generous Orthodoxy". I was just given four books. So I now have something like 12 books sitting in a stack that I'm trying to get to.
What is the last book you read?
That I've finished was Yac's book from above. I'm most of the way through Stephen King's book "On Writing" for the third time. If you write I recommend it.
Name five books that mean alot:
Malcolm Boyd's "Are You Running With Me Jesus" and "Human Like Me". Both profoundly formative when I was a teenager. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" but I'll only count it as one book because I really think that's the way it was conceived. Kevin Lehman's book (Dr. Kevin Lehman to give him his due honor. Which isn't something Kevin worries about) "The Birth Order Book". Told me a LOT about why I am the way I am. And finally a book I have read and re-read and re-read for years. The People's Almanac editted by Wallechinsky and Wallace. Yes I was the kid who read the encyclopedia as a kid (Collier's Universal) and I love these kinds of books filled with trivia and history and whatever. I'm a geek, I know and I'm proud.
If you want to take up the challenge of the game, leave a comment telling me you're doing it and I promise I'll come read yours.
Peace
I couldn't resist because it's about books.
How many books do you own?
Umm, hundreds? And that doesn't count the hundreds I've given away because I run out of space. And my lady wife owns hundreds more and my daughter probably owns a hundred by herself. Yes, her father's house is full of book shelves.
What is the last book you bought?
Umm, wow. Let's see Mike Yacconelli's "Messy Spirituality" and Brian D. McLaren's "a Generous Orthodoxy". I was just given four books. So I now have something like 12 books sitting in a stack that I'm trying to get to.
What is the last book you read?
That I've finished was Yac's book from above. I'm most of the way through Stephen King's book "On Writing" for the third time. If you write I recommend it.
Name five books that mean alot:
Malcolm Boyd's "Are You Running With Me Jesus" and "Human Like Me". Both profoundly formative when I was a teenager. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" but I'll only count it as one book because I really think that's the way it was conceived. Kevin Lehman's book (Dr. Kevin Lehman to give him his due honor. Which isn't something Kevin worries about) "The Birth Order Book". Told me a LOT about why I am the way I am. And finally a book I have read and re-read and re-read for years. The People's Almanac editted by Wallechinsky and Wallace. Yes I was the kid who read the encyclopedia as a kid (Collier's Universal) and I love these kinds of books filled with trivia and history and whatever. I'm a geek, I know and I'm proud.
If you want to take up the challenge of the game, leave a comment telling me you're doing it and I promise I'll come read yours.
Peace
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Struggling on...
My apologies for missing a post last week. I've gotten into a groove making sure that I get something up on the blog every week and I feel badly when I miss. I've got several ideas perking around in my head ready to pour forth in the near future so maybe I can make up for it.
The reason I missed is camp. The run up to camp always feels like a death by a thousand cuts. My office is stacked with boxes as I try to remember to bring everything this year (hasn't happened yet. If I call home during the first couple days of camp my wife answers the phone with "What did you forget?"), my desk is littered with applications, health forms, scholarship forms, notes, phone messages, bills, contracts and I'm not sure what all else. At any given moment I'll have a dozen different thoughts clamoring for attention in my brain and the fevered certainty that I'm going to forget the most important one, or three, or five. Camp is a great experience and I really enjoy it at many levels but it exhausts me starting weeks before the event. (In fact I should be working on camp stuff right now. There are, let me check... 10 applications sitting on my desk, a phone message about a camper who indicated the wrong camp on her application, minutes from three meetings I need to type up, packages of materials that need to be assembled and sent to the staff of the first camp. Which is coming up in 10 days. I expect to be huddled under my desk giggling before 3 this afternoon)
I do have a little better grip on the "WHY" of this phenomenon today. On Monday I worked through a gifts discernment process that was pretty cool. We used "The 3 Colors of Ministry" by Christian Schwarz. What I discovered is that I do NOT have the gift of organization. This surely comes as no surprise to several of my previous employers and my wife's response to the news was a snort. Not in the top five, nor even the top ten. I tested out with organization in the lower half in fact. We were taught that doesn't mean I can't learn organizational skills just that I don't have a(and never will) gift for it. In fact I've kind of known that all along. My life became easier as I created spreadsheets to coordinate all the information that comes in. I have routines I use and I've learned to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN!. But it's still hard. I enjoy blue skying new events, I enjoy defining the outlines of how to do them, and working on the underlying theology and philosophy. In the end someone has to get down to the nitty gritty details. And the joy just flees for me. I grind away at it, procrastinate about it until I get behind and then I get angry and frustrated.
So I need to stop writing this and get to it. There's only 10 days left. Plus after this camp is our national youth gathering and I have things to prepare for it. Then there's another camp, followed by two camps in the same week. That's a lot of details waiting for me. Thousands more cuts still to come.
Sigh.
What gifts did I test out with? Top five are: Artistic/Creative, Teaching, Knowledge (the ability to develop new ideas that are useful to the church), Wisdom (the ability to apply what comes from Knowledge in real life terms), and Apostle (the gift of leadership on a larger scale). Not a bad set of gifts for a youth missioner. We also looked at the "latent" gifts, those that are sort of just bubbling under the surface and can be strengthened. They are Craftsmanship (working with my hands) Shepherding(the gift of making a long term commitment to a group), Leadership (curiously 68% of folks who have this gift also have the gift of Organization!), Evangelism, and Music.
So when I get a moment I'll think some more about these gifts. In the meantime there's some work to be done.
Peace
The reason I missed is camp. The run up to camp always feels like a death by a thousand cuts. My office is stacked with boxes as I try to remember to bring everything this year (hasn't happened yet. If I call home during the first couple days of camp my wife answers the phone with "What did you forget?"), my desk is littered with applications, health forms, scholarship forms, notes, phone messages, bills, contracts and I'm not sure what all else. At any given moment I'll have a dozen different thoughts clamoring for attention in my brain and the fevered certainty that I'm going to forget the most important one, or three, or five. Camp is a great experience and I really enjoy it at many levels but it exhausts me starting weeks before the event. (In fact I should be working on camp stuff right now. There are, let me check... 10 applications sitting on my desk, a phone message about a camper who indicated the wrong camp on her application, minutes from three meetings I need to type up, packages of materials that need to be assembled and sent to the staff of the first camp. Which is coming up in 10 days. I expect to be huddled under my desk giggling before 3 this afternoon)
I do have a little better grip on the "WHY" of this phenomenon today. On Monday I worked through a gifts discernment process that was pretty cool. We used "The 3 Colors of Ministry" by Christian Schwarz. What I discovered is that I do NOT have the gift of organization. This surely comes as no surprise to several of my previous employers and my wife's response to the news was a snort. Not in the top five, nor even the top ten. I tested out with organization in the lower half in fact. We were taught that doesn't mean I can't learn organizational skills just that I don't have a(and never will) gift for it. In fact I've kind of known that all along. My life became easier as I created spreadsheets to coordinate all the information that comes in. I have routines I use and I've learned to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN!. But it's still hard. I enjoy blue skying new events, I enjoy defining the outlines of how to do them, and working on the underlying theology and philosophy. In the end someone has to get down to the nitty gritty details. And the joy just flees for me. I grind away at it, procrastinate about it until I get behind and then I get angry and frustrated.
So I need to stop writing this and get to it. There's only 10 days left. Plus after this camp is our national youth gathering and I have things to prepare for it. Then there's another camp, followed by two camps in the same week. That's a lot of details waiting for me. Thousands more cuts still to come.
Sigh.
What gifts did I test out with? Top five are: Artistic/Creative, Teaching, Knowledge (the ability to develop new ideas that are useful to the church), Wisdom (the ability to apply what comes from Knowledge in real life terms), and Apostle (the gift of leadership on a larger scale). Not a bad set of gifts for a youth missioner. We also looked at the "latent" gifts, those that are sort of just bubbling under the surface and can be strengthened. They are Craftsmanship (working with my hands) Shepherding(the gift of making a long term commitment to a group), Leadership (curiously 68% of folks who have this gift also have the gift of Organization!), Evangelism, and Music.
So when I get a moment I'll think some more about these gifts. In the meantime there's some work to be done.
Peace
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Of Bats and confusion
A couple things to share.
I learned years ago that if I was to have any chance of getting everything done I had to write it down. There is a constantly updated list of tasks sitting on my desk reminding me of what I need to do, want to do, have promised to do. The current iteration is 14 tasks long (with several items that are also multiples so the number of jobs to do is actually about 20). Or so I thought. I was just reviewing it to see what had to be done NOW and noticed that #8 read "Clear Pile", referring to the pile of paper that always builds up on the right hand corner of my desk. Further down at #11 is the notation "Clear Pile". I haven't gotten to the pile yet, but my list just got one job shorter! Life is good. LOL.
(OK, I felt guilty and actually cleared the pile. Or at least sifted it, filed appropriately and got it under control)
We had a bat come visit us at home last night. Our apartment is the second floor of a century old farm house and we get a visitor a year. At the first sign of something flying my lady wife and teenaged daughter scurry (there is no other word for it) into a room that is 1: Bat free, and 2: has a door that latches. Remember this is an OLD house and not all the doors shut securely. Then they call me. To rescue them.
SIGH.
Can I admit that bats give me the willies too? One of my first jobs was as a dishwasher at camp (the "Kitchen Boys" were the absolute TOP of the social ladder at this camp. Don't ask me why. It was the pinnacle of my teen years when I made the grade and was chosen as a kitchen boy). One of our tasks was chasing down the bats that got into the main house periodically. That building was also the girls dorm so we were all the girls hero, plus we got to trespass in restricted space (hmmm, maybe this whole kitchen boy social thing is making more sense now!) So I've been in the bat business for a while. And they still make my skin crawl.
Don't get me wrong I know that this part of the country would be virtually un-livable without our little brown buddies. I know that they are no more likely to be a rabies carrier than any other wild animal I run into, and that the bat is no more thrilled about being in my house than I am to have him there. But I much prefer them outside!
So my little brown buddy was hanging from a crack in the wall when I got home and was very calm while I prepared myself. In fact he was so calm I couldn't get him to fly when I needed him to! It took the usual 10 minutes to herd him into the direction I wanted (toward the open door. Praying all the time "Don't any more come in, don't any more come in!") Then another five frustrating minutes when he just REFUSED to fly low enough to go out the door. I always feel sorry at this point because I know the animal is frightened and just wants to get away from this lunatic human. Finally he fled and I quickly closed various doors and windows and told my two girls they could come out.
As has become tradition I'm greeted with the words "Our hero" and big hugs.
So I guess this bat chasing stuff has its advantages.
Peace
I learned years ago that if I was to have any chance of getting everything done I had to write it down. There is a constantly updated list of tasks sitting on my desk reminding me of what I need to do, want to do, have promised to do. The current iteration is 14 tasks long (with several items that are also multiples so the number of jobs to do is actually about 20). Or so I thought. I was just reviewing it to see what had to be done NOW and noticed that #8 read "Clear Pile", referring to the pile of paper that always builds up on the right hand corner of my desk. Further down at #11 is the notation "Clear Pile". I haven't gotten to the pile yet, but my list just got one job shorter! Life is good. LOL.
(OK, I felt guilty and actually cleared the pile. Or at least sifted it, filed appropriately and got it under control)
We had a bat come visit us at home last night. Our apartment is the second floor of a century old farm house and we get a visitor a year. At the first sign of something flying my lady wife and teenaged daughter scurry (there is no other word for it) into a room that is 1: Bat free, and 2: has a door that latches. Remember this is an OLD house and not all the doors shut securely. Then they call me. To rescue them.
SIGH.
Can I admit that bats give me the willies too? One of my first jobs was as a dishwasher at camp (the "Kitchen Boys" were the absolute TOP of the social ladder at this camp. Don't ask me why. It was the pinnacle of my teen years when I made the grade and was chosen as a kitchen boy). One of our tasks was chasing down the bats that got into the main house periodically. That building was also the girls dorm so we were all the girls hero, plus we got to trespass in restricted space (hmmm, maybe this whole kitchen boy social thing is making more sense now!) So I've been in the bat business for a while. And they still make my skin crawl.
Don't get me wrong I know that this part of the country would be virtually un-livable without our little brown buddies. I know that they are no more likely to be a rabies carrier than any other wild animal I run into, and that the bat is no more thrilled about being in my house than I am to have him there. But I much prefer them outside!
So my little brown buddy was hanging from a crack in the wall when I got home and was very calm while I prepared myself. In fact he was so calm I couldn't get him to fly when I needed him to! It took the usual 10 minutes to herd him into the direction I wanted (toward the open door. Praying all the time "Don't any more come in, don't any more come in!") Then another five frustrating minutes when he just REFUSED to fly low enough to go out the door. I always feel sorry at this point because I know the animal is frightened and just wants to get away from this lunatic human. Finally he fled and I quickly closed various doors and windows and told my two girls they could come out.
As has become tradition I'm greeted with the words "Our hero" and big hugs.
So I guess this bat chasing stuff has its advantages.
Peace
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
How's Your Cape fit?
This is my column from the June issue of "ChurchActs" the newspaper of the Diocese of WNY
I came across a quote from Rick Lawrence who is the editor of Group magazine, one of the premier youth ministry magazines in the world. He said:
"When it comes to impacting teenagers for Christ, who’s the superhero and who’s the sidekick? Well, both Christian and secular researchers [show that youth workers are] Robin and kids’ parents are Batman. I mean that parents who are only doing a mediocre job of impacting their kids’ faith journey can still out-impact the best youth minister in the world. Parents—not the church or the culture or friends—hold the keys to their kids’ long-term faith trajectory."
Wow.
As the parent of a teen myself I have to admit that sounds like a huge burden on my shoulders. Doesn't Rick know how hard it is to raise a kid in this culture? Doesn't he realize the existing stress of struggling with career issues, economic issues, over-scheduling issues (mine and the kid's), and the getting-older-and-watching-my-body-fall-apart issues while trying to be a parent? Let alone those of us who have to try and do this ALONE!
Actually I'm pretty sure he's aware of all of that. Just as I'm sure that he's not trying to add more stuff to our already over flowing plate. It's just that in a world that loves to make fun of parents, that tells us how hard it is, that wants us to be worried about all kinds of other stuff we need to make sure that we don't lose all hope. Very easily we can feel like we can't make a difference and quit. Just accept that if we get them out of high school in some reasonable semblance of good order then we've done our job.
Of course the other argument is that most of us don't feel like we're really ready, prepared or qualified to be teaching our kids about faith. Face it we struggle with it most days and not many of us consider ourselves Bible scholars. So how are we supposed to lead our children deeper in a journey of faith?
So now for some good news, you're better qualified than you think. And as the studies show you're actually better at it than you think. This is less about your ability to lead bible studies or do in depth explanations of theology than how you show your children about living a life in faith. It's about how you treat the people you love in your life and the people that you really don't like. Your children will learn about a life in faith by how you react when you're cut off in traffic. You'll have an impact on them what you do when you're faced with commitments made that you really don't want to fulfill. Their life in faith will be shaped not only by whether or not you go to church but what you do every other day of the week.
Sure it wouldn't hurt for them to see you open the Bible every once in a while and read it. Sincerely praying together as a family every once in a while would be a bonus too. Letting them see you pray personally is also a good idea. But it's not about slapping some new “church-y” behaviors in your life. It is about making your faith a real part of your life and doing the best you can to live it out. Be honest about the days when it's tough. As they get old enough tell them about when your faith has been tested and when it has given you strength. Share the story of your faith, even if you think you're a rotten story teller. You'll be amazed at the effect you have.
As for the bible studies and the theology? Don't worry, there are plenty of youth ministers and clergy persons around to pick up the other stuff. It's our job to fill in the spaces between the foundation pieces that you'll put in place. Remember, YOU are the super hero. We're just the sidekick.
So fire up the Batmobile and let's go.
Peace
I came across a quote from Rick Lawrence who is the editor of Group magazine, one of the premier youth ministry magazines in the world. He said:
"When it comes to impacting teenagers for Christ, who’s the superhero and who’s the sidekick? Well, both Christian and secular researchers [show that youth workers are] Robin and kids’ parents are Batman. I mean that parents who are only doing a mediocre job of impacting their kids’ faith journey can still out-impact the best youth minister in the world. Parents—not the church or the culture or friends—hold the keys to their kids’ long-term faith trajectory."
Wow.
As the parent of a teen myself I have to admit that sounds like a huge burden on my shoulders. Doesn't Rick know how hard it is to raise a kid in this culture? Doesn't he realize the existing stress of struggling with career issues, economic issues, over-scheduling issues (mine and the kid's), and the getting-older-and-watching-my-body-fall-apart issues while trying to be a parent? Let alone those of us who have to try and do this ALONE!
Actually I'm pretty sure he's aware of all of that. Just as I'm sure that he's not trying to add more stuff to our already over flowing plate. It's just that in a world that loves to make fun of parents, that tells us how hard it is, that wants us to be worried about all kinds of other stuff we need to make sure that we don't lose all hope. Very easily we can feel like we can't make a difference and quit. Just accept that if we get them out of high school in some reasonable semblance of good order then we've done our job.
Of course the other argument is that most of us don't feel like we're really ready, prepared or qualified to be teaching our kids about faith. Face it we struggle with it most days and not many of us consider ourselves Bible scholars. So how are we supposed to lead our children deeper in a journey of faith?
So now for some good news, you're better qualified than you think. And as the studies show you're actually better at it than you think. This is less about your ability to lead bible studies or do in depth explanations of theology than how you show your children about living a life in faith. It's about how you treat the people you love in your life and the people that you really don't like. Your children will learn about a life in faith by how you react when you're cut off in traffic. You'll have an impact on them what you do when you're faced with commitments made that you really don't want to fulfill. Their life in faith will be shaped not only by whether or not you go to church but what you do every other day of the week.
Sure it wouldn't hurt for them to see you open the Bible every once in a while and read it. Sincerely praying together as a family every once in a while would be a bonus too. Letting them see you pray personally is also a good idea. But it's not about slapping some new “church-y” behaviors in your life. It is about making your faith a real part of your life and doing the best you can to live it out. Be honest about the days when it's tough. As they get old enough tell them about when your faith has been tested and when it has given you strength. Share the story of your faith, even if you think you're a rotten story teller. You'll be amazed at the effect you have.
As for the bible studies and the theology? Don't worry, there are plenty of youth ministers and clergy persons around to pick up the other stuff. It's our job to fill in the spaces between the foundation pieces that you'll put in place. Remember, YOU are the super hero. We're just the sidekick.
So fire up the Batmobile and let's go.
Peace
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Correcting an error
I'm afraid I have to admit to committing something of a blogger's social faux pas. I read and comment at other people's blogs and take inspiration from them. Yet I've never offered a link to those sites. The blogosphere is an intricately interlinked community and I've been cheating by not linking you with some of the great folks out there. So I've added three links today and I'll be looking at more links in the future.
A note on my process for choosing links. I go to some blogs and see huge long lists of links. And they overwhelm me. I have no idea how those blogs were chosen for their spot (heck I'm on some of those lists!). I'm going to link to blogs that have inspired me and given me cause to think. I hope my list grows long too. But that probably means that some of my friends who blog won't make the list. I visit their blogs to keep in touch with them or their ministry. That's a valid and important reason to blog and to read those blogs. What I want to offer here with my blog and the links are resources that take us beyond the everyday. That offer us the chance to make our lives a little different.
So it's no surprise that numero uno on my list is Real Live Preacher. He is the most amazing writer I've come across in the blog world bar none. As far as I'm concerned if you can only read one blog in your life read his and not mine. And I'm not alone in that assessment. His blogs are good enough that a publishing company put out a book of his stuff and he's been invited to write regularly for Christian Century. He's a Baptist preacher unlike any Baptist preacher I've ever known. He makes me laugh and cry and pray. Someday I hope to be half the writer he is.
Second (and this sounds like an utter suck up to RLP above) is Dylan's Lectionary Blog. I say it's a suckup because the Preacher just recommended her too. It was that blog that brought my social failing front and center to my attention. Because you see I already read Dylan's blog and enjoyed it. And I hadn't shared it. Sarah Dylan Breuer is a fellow Episcopalian (while not being a fellow at all), priest and doctoral candidate. She's also a heckuva writer. If you're looking for a reflection on the lectionary that offers both depth and readability I recommend hers. Good stuff.
Finally my third entry is for Reverend Ref. Another Episcopal priest who says the blog is about "Thoughts on ordained ministry in a small town, parish life, ECUSA and maybe even football". Again a wonderful writer, someone who makes me pause and think and laugh and pray. Beyond that his blog was the very first to offer a link back here to me. It was the best moments of my life as a blogger. But he really makes the list because his blog is so darn good.
You'll find lots of links on these folks pages and I encourage you to check some of them out. If you find one you really like drop me a line and I may add it to the list.
A note on my process for choosing links. I go to some blogs and see huge long lists of links. And they overwhelm me. I have no idea how those blogs were chosen for their spot (heck I'm on some of those lists!). I'm going to link to blogs that have inspired me and given me cause to think. I hope my list grows long too. But that probably means that some of my friends who blog won't make the list. I visit their blogs to keep in touch with them or their ministry. That's a valid and important reason to blog and to read those blogs. What I want to offer here with my blog and the links are resources that take us beyond the everyday. That offer us the chance to make our lives a little different.
So it's no surprise that numero uno on my list is Real Live Preacher. He is the most amazing writer I've come across in the blog world bar none. As far as I'm concerned if you can only read one blog in your life read his and not mine. And I'm not alone in that assessment. His blogs are good enough that a publishing company put out a book of his stuff and he's been invited to write regularly for Christian Century. He's a Baptist preacher unlike any Baptist preacher I've ever known. He makes me laugh and cry and pray. Someday I hope to be half the writer he is.
Second (and this sounds like an utter suck up to RLP above) is Dylan's Lectionary Blog. I say it's a suckup because the Preacher just recommended her too. It was that blog that brought my social failing front and center to my attention. Because you see I already read Dylan's blog and enjoyed it. And I hadn't shared it. Sarah Dylan Breuer is a fellow Episcopalian (while not being a fellow at all), priest and doctoral candidate. She's also a heckuva writer. If you're looking for a reflection on the lectionary that offers both depth and readability I recommend hers. Good stuff.
Finally my third entry is for Reverend Ref. Another Episcopal priest who says the blog is about "Thoughts on ordained ministry in a small town, parish life, ECUSA and maybe even football". Again a wonderful writer, someone who makes me pause and think and laugh and pray. Beyond that his blog was the very first to offer a link back here to me. It was the best moments of my life as a blogger. But he really makes the list because his blog is so darn good.
You'll find lots of links on these folks pages and I encourage you to check some of them out. If you find one you really like drop me a line and I may add it to the list.
Friday, May 06, 2005
A little different
Ok I've been way too serious recently. So I checked out a poll. And was totally surprised by the result.
Peace
Peace
Culture Comment -The Runaway Bride
Periodically I see (oh hell let's be honest. It's with amazing regularity) a story in the news that reminds me of how far our culture is from a life guided by faith and an understanding of what God wants from us. Usually I just shake my head and think that something needs to be done.
Well I write a blog that's about living a life in faith. If I don't use this forum to comment then what use am I? So as the spirit moves me, make that as the Spirit moves me, I'm going to give you my view on the point where faith and life should come together.
Unless you've given up on the news you've probably seen the story about Jennifer Wilbanks, the bride who disappeared just days before her wedding leading to a huge manhunt. She turned up three days later with a story about being kidnapped which she almost immediately recanted (there's a link in the title of this entry, just click on it).
This isn't about her.
It's about how so many people and commentators have reacted to the story. So much of the commentary I've heard has been to make fun of this young woman and to insist that her fiancé would be a fool to marry her. That he should cut and run and never look back.
I just don't get that.
Well check that, yes I do. What passes for commentary these days is mostly smug "Aren't I clever" nonsense based on the idea that who ever can be the most obnoxious is the coolest and the smartest and the best. Color me unimpressed. Making up our minds based on minimal, usually superficial information is not what the smartest people do. It's what ill informed talking heads do. It's what school yard bullies do. If that's what makes you cool then I'm utterly content to be un-cool.
Here's what we do know:
They appear to have been in love. She appears to have gotten overwhelmed by something or a whole bunch of somethings leading up to her pretty enormous wedding. She split. Other than worrying the daylights out of everybody, making her community waste a fair bit of time and money, and making up a really stupid story I don't see where she's done anything that would cause her fiancé to want to walk away from her.
Unless you buy the cultural value that says "It's all about me". Our entire culture today has moved to a stance that makes this self-centered, selfish point of view not only common but legitimate. All the young man in question has to say is "You hurt me, I shouldn't be treated this way" then he has every excuse to walk away. All he has to do is discount any pain or concerns of the woman he supposedly loves and it's easy. Somewhere along the line we've forgotten that any relationship, let alone marriage, is supposed to be about us, not me.
There may come a time when he realizes, or the two of the them together realize, that their relationship doesn't work. But it should be the two of them caring for one another that makes the decision. I have no doubt that there are some hard times ahead for them as they try to hammer this relationship out.
What they don't need is a lot of empty headed commentary designed only to make the commentators look "smart". And the rest of us need to let the talking heads know they need to shut their yaps. In the meantime we could all offer up a prayer for this young couple. That would be actually useful.
Peace
Well I write a blog that's about living a life in faith. If I don't use this forum to comment then what use am I? So as the spirit moves me, make that as the Spirit moves me, I'm going to give you my view on the point where faith and life should come together.
Unless you've given up on the news you've probably seen the story about Jennifer Wilbanks, the bride who disappeared just days before her wedding leading to a huge manhunt. She turned up three days later with a story about being kidnapped which she almost immediately recanted (there's a link in the title of this entry, just click on it).
This isn't about her.
It's about how so many people and commentators have reacted to the story. So much of the commentary I've heard has been to make fun of this young woman and to insist that her fiancé would be a fool to marry her. That he should cut and run and never look back.
I just don't get that.
Well check that, yes I do. What passes for commentary these days is mostly smug "Aren't I clever" nonsense based on the idea that who ever can be the most obnoxious is the coolest and the smartest and the best. Color me unimpressed. Making up our minds based on minimal, usually superficial information is not what the smartest people do. It's what ill informed talking heads do. It's what school yard bullies do. If that's what makes you cool then I'm utterly content to be un-cool.
Here's what we do know:
They appear to have been in love. She appears to have gotten overwhelmed by something or a whole bunch of somethings leading up to her pretty enormous wedding. She split. Other than worrying the daylights out of everybody, making her community waste a fair bit of time and money, and making up a really stupid story I don't see where she's done anything that would cause her fiancé to want to walk away from her.
Unless you buy the cultural value that says "It's all about me". Our entire culture today has moved to a stance that makes this self-centered, selfish point of view not only common but legitimate. All the young man in question has to say is "You hurt me, I shouldn't be treated this way" then he has every excuse to walk away. All he has to do is discount any pain or concerns of the woman he supposedly loves and it's easy. Somewhere along the line we've forgotten that any relationship, let alone marriage, is supposed to be about us, not me.
There may come a time when he realizes, or the two of the them together realize, that their relationship doesn't work. But it should be the two of them caring for one another that makes the decision. I have no doubt that there are some hard times ahead for them as they try to hammer this relationship out.
What they don't need is a lot of empty headed commentary designed only to make the commentators look "smart". And the rest of us need to let the talking heads know they need to shut their yaps. In the meantime we could all offer up a prayer for this young couple. That would be actually useful.
Peace
Monday, May 02, 2005
Again and again and again...
I don't much like re-runs. While I'm willing to admit they have a value (sometimes I miss an episode the first time through, or it's one like the "Two Cathedrals" episode of the West Wing that really speak to me deeply)watching a re-run is way down on my list of things I'd rather do. This creates a little conflict with the lady in my life who loves watching re-runs of her favorite shows. I believe she has now committed to memory every episode of the entire run of M*A*S*H.
This next bit will sound like I'm backtracking but I'm not. I do watch my favorite movies more than once. I also read my favorite books again and again (I'm reading "Catch 22" for probably the 6th time right now) It's just that I like to have a little space between times that I view or read something. I want it to fade in my memory just a little bit so that when I see or read it next I can have at least a little bit of an "AH-HA!" moment again.
All of this is introduction to a phenomenon that I encounter with one particular book. Over the last couple years I keep getting surprised by those Ah-Ha moments when I'm reading a book that I've read or had read to me literally thousands of times in my life. It happens when I read the Bible.
For a lot of Episcopalians the concept of personal reading of the Bible isn't as deeply ingrained as it is with some other denominations. Part of this comes from the fact that we hear a lot more Scripture during worship than many others do. Show up at an Episcopal church on Sunday and you will likely get an OT reading AND a NT reading AND a psalm PLUS the Gospel. That's a good thing. The other reason why we don't is, IMO, that as a church we do a rotten job of helping folks approach the Bible. And that's a bad thing. Because as I said, it's amazing how often you can be surprised by what's in there.
For example, a couple years ago I was the leader of a bible study (astoundingly my leadership didn't seem to damage anyone's chances at immortal salvation). I felt pretty confident as we worked our way through the story of Noah. Till we hit the part that FOLLOWS the Sunday school section. Do you know the part about drunk, naked Noah? About him getting all unreasonable when his children try to help him while he's drunk, naked and passed out? Total surprise to me.
Plus there are the more useful surprises. Like a recent lectio divina session I did where we were discussing the story of the woman who breaks the jar of nard, expensive perfume, over Jesus's head. She gets criticized for it. Now at that time I was feeling overwhelmed. Too much to do, and no matter what I got done I felt guilty because it meant that I'd set something else aside. The image I use is it feels like a koosh ball (if you've never seen one imagine a ball made up of a thousand rubber bands with one end in the center and the other forming the outer "edge" of the ball) that has someone pulling on every single strand at the same time. There's lots of tension but very little movement. That's how I felt as we studied this familiar bible story. It was Jesus's response to the criticism that blew me away.
"She did what she could"
Those words, which I'd heard a dozen(?), a hundred(?) times before hit me like a lightning bolt. For me at that moment it was an astounding "new" discovery in the midst of a scriptural re-run. And it keeps on happening.
So if you don't already read your bible on a regular basis let me offer this suggestion for starting. Find a version that is comfortable for you. I use the Revised Standard Version. I like the flow of the language and mine has great footnotes. There are some great study bibles out there. Or try The Message which is in very real, everyday kind of English with no little verse numbers to mess with you. (You do know those are NOT original right? The chapter and verse thing was added much later. So why get hung up on it? Real books aren't written that way) Then just pick a place to start. I recommend starting with a Gospel, like Mark. Why Mark? 'Cause it's the shortest. 16 chapters in less than 26 pages in my Bible. (Don't get hung up on length. I mean The Third Letter of John is less than a page but may not be a great starting point.) Then just read it chunks. Pick a length (a page, a chapter, a story at a time)or read till you hit something that makes you want to stop and think a little. When you hit your limit stop and think about it.
You may be surprised at what you discover in that re-run.
Peace
This next bit will sound like I'm backtracking but I'm not. I do watch my favorite movies more than once. I also read my favorite books again and again (I'm reading "Catch 22" for probably the 6th time right now) It's just that I like to have a little space between times that I view or read something. I want it to fade in my memory just a little bit so that when I see or read it next I can have at least a little bit of an "AH-HA!" moment again.
All of this is introduction to a phenomenon that I encounter with one particular book. Over the last couple years I keep getting surprised by those Ah-Ha moments when I'm reading a book that I've read or had read to me literally thousands of times in my life. It happens when I read the Bible.
For a lot of Episcopalians the concept of personal reading of the Bible isn't as deeply ingrained as it is with some other denominations. Part of this comes from the fact that we hear a lot more Scripture during worship than many others do. Show up at an Episcopal church on Sunday and you will likely get an OT reading AND a NT reading AND a psalm PLUS the Gospel. That's a good thing. The other reason why we don't is, IMO, that as a church we do a rotten job of helping folks approach the Bible. And that's a bad thing. Because as I said, it's amazing how often you can be surprised by what's in there.
For example, a couple years ago I was the leader of a bible study (astoundingly my leadership didn't seem to damage anyone's chances at immortal salvation). I felt pretty confident as we worked our way through the story of Noah. Till we hit the part that FOLLOWS the Sunday school section. Do you know the part about drunk, naked Noah? About him getting all unreasonable when his children try to help him while he's drunk, naked and passed out? Total surprise to me.
Plus there are the more useful surprises. Like a recent lectio divina session I did where we were discussing the story of the woman who breaks the jar of nard, expensive perfume, over Jesus's head. She gets criticized for it. Now at that time I was feeling overwhelmed. Too much to do, and no matter what I got done I felt guilty because it meant that I'd set something else aside. The image I use is it feels like a koosh ball (if you've never seen one imagine a ball made up of a thousand rubber bands with one end in the center and the other forming the outer "edge" of the ball) that has someone pulling on every single strand at the same time. There's lots of tension but very little movement. That's how I felt as we studied this familiar bible story. It was Jesus's response to the criticism that blew me away.
"She did what she could"
Those words, which I'd heard a dozen(?), a hundred(?) times before hit me like a lightning bolt. For me at that moment it was an astounding "new" discovery in the midst of a scriptural re-run. And it keeps on happening.
So if you don't already read your bible on a regular basis let me offer this suggestion for starting. Find a version that is comfortable for you. I use the Revised Standard Version. I like the flow of the language and mine has great footnotes. There are some great study bibles out there. Or try The Message which is in very real, everyday kind of English with no little verse numbers to mess with you. (You do know those are NOT original right? The chapter and verse thing was added much later. So why get hung up on it? Real books aren't written that way) Then just pick a place to start. I recommend starting with a Gospel, like Mark. Why Mark? 'Cause it's the shortest. 16 chapters in less than 26 pages in my Bible. (Don't get hung up on length. I mean The Third Letter of John is less than a page but may not be a great starting point.) Then just read it chunks. Pick a length (a page, a chapter, a story at a time)or read till you hit something that makes you want to stop and think a little. When you hit your limit stop and think about it.
You may be surprised at what you discover in that re-run.
Peace
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
A marred trip
I just got back from a trip to one of my favorite cities in the world, San Antonio Texas. Sadly I didn't get to enjoy it as much as usual. Even worse one of the major reasons I didn't enjoy myself was because of the bad behavior of a group of young people.
For those of us who work with young people it's especially painful when we see them living down to every stereotype. In this case it wasn't high school aged youth but college young adults. In fact members of the Delta Sigma Phi fraternity and their girlfriends. Like all members of Greek letter societies they wear their logos proudly so there's no doubt in my mind. The hotel staff also apologized for the behavior of the "fraternity" that was there.
A large group of them were staying in the hotel and most of them were on my floor. How bad were they? One morning when I made an off hand comment about wanting to take a baseball bat to some of my neighbors the clerk at the front desk looked at me, asked if I was on the tenth floor (yes) and then said "Go ahead". Seems I wasn't the only one with complaints. Complaints about the rampaging up and down the halls till 3, 4 or 5 AM, the drunkenness, the loud sex, the banging doors and apparently , based on comments from the hotel staff, a certain level of destruction. I could just imagine trying to convince some adult with doubts about raising up more young leaders after they'd had to spend a night trying to get some sleep.
Please don't get me wrong. I was willing to let them have some fun. It was Thurs, Fri and Sat nights during Fiesta in San Antonio. Rocking and rolling till midnight or even 1 AM would be within my limits (which are more generous than some folks). But some of us had work to do and needed sleep. Simple common courtesy should have kicked in at some point. If you want to party all night long find a night club. And there was no place to move for me since the hotel was full.
So in the end my attitude towards fraternities stayed the same (very low. I've known some outstanding individuals Greeks but I was GDI in college). And I realize that my efforts to get young people taken seriously is even harder. Not only because of the effect of other folks but because of the effect on me. It's inevitable that the next time a group of youth start whooping it up late into the day I'm gonna think:
It's San Antonio all over again.
Who wants those kinds of thoughts associated with your favorite city?
Thanks a lot Delta Sigma Phi.
Peace
For those of us who work with young people it's especially painful when we see them living down to every stereotype. In this case it wasn't high school aged youth but college young adults. In fact members of the Delta Sigma Phi fraternity and their girlfriends. Like all members of Greek letter societies they wear their logos proudly so there's no doubt in my mind. The hotel staff also apologized for the behavior of the "fraternity" that was there.
A large group of them were staying in the hotel and most of them were on my floor. How bad were they? One morning when I made an off hand comment about wanting to take a baseball bat to some of my neighbors the clerk at the front desk looked at me, asked if I was on the tenth floor (yes) and then said "Go ahead". Seems I wasn't the only one with complaints. Complaints about the rampaging up and down the halls till 3, 4 or 5 AM, the drunkenness, the loud sex, the banging doors and apparently , based on comments from the hotel staff, a certain level of destruction. I could just imagine trying to convince some adult with doubts about raising up more young leaders after they'd had to spend a night trying to get some sleep.
Please don't get me wrong. I was willing to let them have some fun. It was Thurs, Fri and Sat nights during Fiesta in San Antonio. Rocking and rolling till midnight or even 1 AM would be within my limits (which are more generous than some folks). But some of us had work to do and needed sleep. Simple common courtesy should have kicked in at some point. If you want to party all night long find a night club. And there was no place to move for me since the hotel was full.
So in the end my attitude towards fraternities stayed the same (very low. I've known some outstanding individuals Greeks but I was GDI in college). And I realize that my efforts to get young people taken seriously is even harder. Not only because of the effect of other folks but because of the effect on me. It's inevitable that the next time a group of youth start whooping it up late into the day I'm gonna think:
It's San Antonio all over again.
Who wants those kinds of thoughts associated with your favorite city?
Thanks a lot Delta Sigma Phi.
Peace
Thursday, April 21, 2005
A flying adventure
Greetings to everyone from beautiful San Antonio Texas. I'm down here for a meeting with some great folks involved with youth ministry in the Episcopal church. Wasn't hard to convince me since San Antonio is one of my favorite cities in the world.
No adventures to report so far. Which is nice after the Colorado trip! We did get delayed flying out of Cincinnati when something in the wings that was apparently pretty important malfunctioned. The replaced while we sat on the runway. The only note was that we were carrying some avian breeding stock. Otherwise known as chicks! They were making a lot of noise back in the baggage area (which is pressurized, keep your blood pressure under control) and we could hear them through the rear bulkhead. Kinda weird.
The other note is that I've finally moved into the late 20th Century with my travel luggage. A friend of mine (credit where credit is due - Brian Prior...ahem....properly the Rev. Brian Prior)told me that I needed to get a rolling bag. The kind with the little wheels on it. This is my first trip with my new bag, and I'm never going back! So much less strain on the back and shoulders. Very nice.
So time to go back to the great food and company, and actually get some sleep!
Peace
No adventures to report so far. Which is nice after the Colorado trip! We did get delayed flying out of Cincinnati when something in the wings that was apparently pretty important malfunctioned. The replaced while we sat on the runway. The only note was that we were carrying some avian breeding stock. Otherwise known as chicks! They were making a lot of noise back in the baggage area (which is pressurized, keep your blood pressure under control) and we could hear them through the rear bulkhead. Kinda weird.
The other note is that I've finally moved into the late 20th Century with my travel luggage. A friend of mine (credit where credit is due - Brian Prior...ahem....properly the Rev. Brian Prior)told me that I needed to get a rolling bag. The kind with the little wheels on it. This is my first trip with my new bag, and I'm never going back! So much less strain on the back and shoulders. Very nice.
So time to go back to the great food and company, and actually get some sleep!
Peace
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
A Modest Proposal
I know when I first took my job with the diocese that I puzzled some people by making one of my very first pronouncements that I didn't like "Youth Sundays". This was a fine old tradition, got our young people up in front of the congregation, gave them the chance to lead and read and usually preach. And some of those sermons were first rate too! Yet my clear preference was for the demise of Youth Sunday.
When people looked a little deeper they discovered that my objection was that too often such Sundays were little more than window dressing. Once a year we trotted out the trained youth, put them through their paces and sent them back to their corner. That is diametrically opposed to my view of how we should be involving our young people in the life of the church. They should be involved, in every way they are permitted by canon and custom, and to every degree they are capable, all year long. If they are part of the overall congregation and visible all year long then the need for the annual dog and pony show disappears.
So do I really want to eliminate this chance for our young people to take leadership roles at worship? Actually the answer is no. I was involved in an old school Youth Sunday and it was kinda cool.
I just think we need to change the way we do it.
Here's my modest proposal for change:
Let's go to two Sundays a year. Let's call them Recognition Sundays. In the spring we honor our seniors, High School and college, if we have any otherwise it's a regular Youth Sunday idea. We recognize and celebrate our young people and their involvement in our community. One of the best and brightest (by whatever standards the congregation chooses to use) is give the chance to preach. Young people involved in church, school, and other leadership type roles are recognized and appreciated by their community of faith.
In the fall we do a slightly different one. The seniors we recognize are our elder members. Folks who have lived and learned and led us. The preacher this time is one of these elders, given the chance to speak to the congregation. We recognize members who have served long and sometimes in many capacities but often without much fan fare.
The preachers both times are given the chance to speak their hearts to the congregation. To remember, to teach, to challenge. I would hope that they would be both uplifting and unsettling.
Now we recognize both our future and our past and pay respect to both. Now Youth Sunday is no longer a dog and pony show where the youth get trotted out but are now part of a larger celebration by their home congregation. I'll bet there's some way that the two age groups might be able to work together to symbolize all the body of the church.
Hey, youth and seniors working together in church? What a concept!
Peace
When people looked a little deeper they discovered that my objection was that too often such Sundays were little more than window dressing. Once a year we trotted out the trained youth, put them through their paces and sent them back to their corner. That is diametrically opposed to my view of how we should be involving our young people in the life of the church. They should be involved, in every way they are permitted by canon and custom, and to every degree they are capable, all year long. If they are part of the overall congregation and visible all year long then the need for the annual dog and pony show disappears.
So do I really want to eliminate this chance for our young people to take leadership roles at worship? Actually the answer is no. I was involved in an old school Youth Sunday and it was kinda cool.
I just think we need to change the way we do it.
Here's my modest proposal for change:
Let's go to two Sundays a year. Let's call them Recognition Sundays. In the spring we honor our seniors, High School and college, if we have any otherwise it's a regular Youth Sunday idea. We recognize and celebrate our young people and their involvement in our community. One of the best and brightest (by whatever standards the congregation chooses to use) is give the chance to preach. Young people involved in church, school, and other leadership type roles are recognized and appreciated by their community of faith.
In the fall we do a slightly different one. The seniors we recognize are our elder members. Folks who have lived and learned and led us. The preacher this time is one of these elders, given the chance to speak to the congregation. We recognize members who have served long and sometimes in many capacities but often without much fan fare.
The preachers both times are given the chance to speak their hearts to the congregation. To remember, to teach, to challenge. I would hope that they would be both uplifting and unsettling.
Now we recognize both our future and our past and pay respect to both. Now Youth Sunday is no longer a dog and pony show where the youth get trotted out but are now part of a larger celebration by their home congregation. I'll bet there's some way that the two age groups might be able to work together to symbolize all the body of the church.
Hey, youth and seniors working together in church? What a concept!
Peace
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
A question to ponder
Things have been hectic here. A snow storm blew through dumping an early spring load on us. In the heart of the snow belt they got up to three feet in just a weekend. That's impressive even to the jaded meteorological snobs here in WNY. So now it's all melting and everything is mud. Such fun.
Now the question du jour. The set up:
I notice a leftover bag of "goldfish" the snack food sitting in the kitchen here at the office. Feeling tired I gave into temptation and finished them off (not too terrible a sin since there was only a cup and a half left) As I finished I lifted the bag to eye level to make sure that I had done my due diligence and finished them off completely. Among the golden crumbs were some black specks, in fact a whole bunch of black specks. I looked a little closer (removing my glasses to focus in close - you may keep your age-ist remarks to yourself)and realized the "specks" were.......
Ants. A couple dozen dead, black ants.
So here's the question to ponder:
Should I be more upset that there were ants in my snack food,
or
That they were all dead?
Peace
Now the question du jour. The set up:
I notice a leftover bag of "goldfish" the snack food sitting in the kitchen here at the office. Feeling tired I gave into temptation and finished them off (not too terrible a sin since there was only a cup and a half left) As I finished I lifted the bag to eye level to make sure that I had done my due diligence and finished them off completely. Among the golden crumbs were some black specks, in fact a whole bunch of black specks. I looked a little closer (removing my glasses to focus in close - you may keep your age-ist remarks to yourself)and realized the "specks" were.......
Ants. A couple dozen dead, black ants.
So here's the question to ponder:
Should I be more upset that there were ants in my snack food,
or
That they were all dead?
Peace
Monday, March 28, 2005
Of the latest news
This is a post that some folks would tell me I shouldn't put up. It's probably not wise and it's probably not a career move and it's probably ill advised.
And I'm doing it anyway.
What follows are MY opinions. They do not represent the diocese which employs me or the congregation that is my home. This is mine and mine alone. If you need to be ticked off at someone it's me and me alone.
On Wednesday of last week my bishop took the hour and a half long drive down here to my little corner of the world. I knew what he was there to talk about I just didn't know how bad it was going to be. We found an empty office and sat down. There was no point in beating around the bush, he said. We're cutting your job by 20%, from 5 days a week to 4. The reason wasn't because I don't have enough to do (HA!) or because I haven't done a good job. The reason is budgetary. The bishop had to find some $85,000 dollars in savings to balance the budget. And a bunch of us saw our wages get cut. A friend of mine lost her job.
And I'm angry.
This is the part I probably shouldn't write. Why are we in such straits? Because some congregations and some individuals have chosen to withhold their contributions from the diocese. If you follow the Episcopal church you know why so I won't go into the details. Let me note that while I may not agree with their theological position I respect their right to it and the anger they feel about what has happened. But I have a problem with them playing financial games to "punish" people.
Episcopalians are defined at the diocesan level. We are gathered around a bishop. When we decide that our congregational needs/wants/desires/thoughts are more important than the diocesan ones we are rejecting a fundamental part of the classical/traditional Episcopal church. If you want to disagree with those diocesan thoughts please do. We have a variety of methods for doing that and a long history of encouraging just such discourse. It's the problem a lot of folks have with Anglicanism in general, the ability to hold two conflicting points of view in tension within the same body. But we seem to have left that behind for mutual "my way or the highway"s. The idea that traditional anglicanism is being defended by abandoning core understandings like the centrality of the diocesan structure is inexplicable to me. Anglicanism has been defined by our liturgy not our theology.
But when I set aside my anger (which I will grant you comes from the hurt my family suffers) I need to note this. My question is who are you punishing? Just in regards to my own little patch - If we continue down this path here's what I see happening in youth ministry:
Costs Go Up The amount of money that can be used to underwrite base costs for camps and Happening will decline. Those costs will rotate onto the families of our youth. It will make these events less inviting, and less accessible.
Programs Cut This isn't fear mongering. Programs will either become economically unfeasible and be eliminated or the programs themselves will suffer cuts to try and keep them afloat. We'll eliminate portions or reduce the scope of things like camp (maybe 3 days instead of 7). Maybe good will come of that but it's not sustainable in the long run. In the long run you don't see growth by consistently cutting investment.
Growth slows As fewer assets are available, and more of them are put into maintaining current programs all new ministry is left to shift for its own. We move away from mission towards maintenance.
There's a possibility that next year will see greater cuts in the position of the Youth Missioner or even possible elimination.
I don't want this to be a tirade against my traditional brothers and sisters. That's not my intent. But I will demand from them an answer to the question I asked above: Who's being punished?
Yeah I probably shouldn't have posted this.
Peace
And I'm doing it anyway.
What follows are MY opinions. They do not represent the diocese which employs me or the congregation that is my home. This is mine and mine alone. If you need to be ticked off at someone it's me and me alone.
On Wednesday of last week my bishop took the hour and a half long drive down here to my little corner of the world. I knew what he was there to talk about I just didn't know how bad it was going to be. We found an empty office and sat down. There was no point in beating around the bush, he said. We're cutting your job by 20%, from 5 days a week to 4. The reason wasn't because I don't have enough to do (HA!) or because I haven't done a good job. The reason is budgetary. The bishop had to find some $85,000 dollars in savings to balance the budget. And a bunch of us saw our wages get cut. A friend of mine lost her job.
And I'm angry.
This is the part I probably shouldn't write. Why are we in such straits? Because some congregations and some individuals have chosen to withhold their contributions from the diocese. If you follow the Episcopal church you know why so I won't go into the details. Let me note that while I may not agree with their theological position I respect their right to it and the anger they feel about what has happened. But I have a problem with them playing financial games to "punish" people.
Episcopalians are defined at the diocesan level. We are gathered around a bishop. When we decide that our congregational needs/wants/desires/thoughts are more important than the diocesan ones we are rejecting a fundamental part of the classical/traditional Episcopal church. If you want to disagree with those diocesan thoughts please do. We have a variety of methods for doing that and a long history of encouraging just such discourse. It's the problem a lot of folks have with Anglicanism in general, the ability to hold two conflicting points of view in tension within the same body. But we seem to have left that behind for mutual "my way or the highway"s. The idea that traditional anglicanism is being defended by abandoning core understandings like the centrality of the diocesan structure is inexplicable to me. Anglicanism has been defined by our liturgy not our theology.
But when I set aside my anger (which I will grant you comes from the hurt my family suffers) I need to note this. My question is who are you punishing? Just in regards to my own little patch - If we continue down this path here's what I see happening in youth ministry:
Costs Go Up The amount of money that can be used to underwrite base costs for camps and Happening will decline. Those costs will rotate onto the families of our youth. It will make these events less inviting, and less accessible.
Programs Cut This isn't fear mongering. Programs will either become economically unfeasible and be eliminated or the programs themselves will suffer cuts to try and keep them afloat. We'll eliminate portions or reduce the scope of things like camp (maybe 3 days instead of 7). Maybe good will come of that but it's not sustainable in the long run. In the long run you don't see growth by consistently cutting investment.
Growth slows As fewer assets are available, and more of them are put into maintaining current programs all new ministry is left to shift for its own. We move away from mission towards maintenance.
There's a possibility that next year will see greater cuts in the position of the Youth Missioner or even possible elimination.
I don't want this to be a tirade against my traditional brothers and sisters. That's not my intent. But I will demand from them an answer to the question I asked above: Who's being punished?
Yeah I probably shouldn't have posted this.
Peace
Thursday, March 24, 2005
A personal milestone
Well it was a moment of personal history yesterday. My gas gauge was showing empty and I'd even gotten down to the point where the little gas pump icon lit up. This drives my wife crazy. She never lets her tank get below a quarter of a tank. Being a man I assure her that I know how close I can cut it and all is well. She reminds me that I've run out of gas several times during our marriage and the she hasn't ever. Feeling that it's unfair for her to resort to facts I simply ignore her.
But anyway...
I cruised up to the pumps and got the fuel flowing. This is one of those stations that still lets you put the pump on auto so you can do other things rather than sit there freezing holding the lever. So I'm dusting the snow off the lights and the windows a little more while it chugs away. When I heard it kick I checked the total and felt like I'd gotten kicked.
$30. Actually just over that. But that's a first. I don't drive an SUV. Technically I believe my car is classified as a compact. It gets around 22 in the city (mileage that is) and 32 on the highway. The tank only holds a little over 13 gallons.
$30.
I remember when gasoline sold for 30 CENTS a gallon! And the gas wars that drove it even lower. Of course I also remember getting toys when my dad filled up and people who came out and filled it up for you.
30 bucks.
It boggles the mind.
Peace
But anyway...
I cruised up to the pumps and got the fuel flowing. This is one of those stations that still lets you put the pump on auto so you can do other things rather than sit there freezing holding the lever. So I'm dusting the snow off the lights and the windows a little more while it chugs away. When I heard it kick I checked the total and felt like I'd gotten kicked.
$30. Actually just over that. But that's a first. I don't drive an SUV. Technically I believe my car is classified as a compact. It gets around 22 in the city (mileage that is) and 32 on the highway. The tank only holds a little over 13 gallons.
$30.
I remember when gasoline sold for 30 CENTS a gallon! And the gas wars that drove it even lower. Of course I also remember getting toys when my dad filled up and people who came out and filled it up for you.
30 bucks.
It boggles the mind.
Peace
Friday, March 18, 2005
Buncha stuff
Wow I thought I was way behind but I discover that I'm not. No pressing issues for me to fulminate about so just a few thoughts that wandered across my forehead.
One of you readers (I think it was Drew) got me started thinking about a phrase from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. If you don't know Bonhoeffer google him and learn. You'll be a better person for knowing him. Anyway he wrote about how our faith should infect our entire lives.
Infect. What a great image.
So I was thinking about how that would really work in day to day life. Do we all become monks and nuns? I don't think that's where he was going with it. But I do think this may be in line with it. It's still winter where I am, cold and damp and nasty. I was watching one of the supermarket employees doing what HAS to be the worst job this time of year. Playing grocery cart cowboy. How often do we look out the windshield of our car and see a cart that's been left by someone who can't or more likely simply won't take the time to put it into one of the corrals? So my infection now will show in a new way. I will continue to put my cart away and if there are carts in the area of my car I'll put them away too. Not for thanks or glory or a crown in heaven. Just because I can and I can ease the way of another human being doing it.
I had a death in my extended "family" this week. She had been my summer time "Mom" for several years and a friend of my family since I was in third grade. Her son is one of my best friends in the world and her daughter is as close to a sister as I've ever had. But this past Wednesday she was ready to go. It had been a long illness that had left her bedridden and unable to enjoy life. And enjoying life seemed to be one of Ellen's best things. When I think of Ellen I think of two things one happy one sad. The sad one is I always think of a cigarette. The habit may or may not have killed her but it didn't help in so many ways. The happy one is her laugh. There was nothing small about Ellen's laugh. In fact she lived most of her life large. I haven't seen her in a couple years (she'd come up to my neck of the woods most summers and I'd make sure to see her)and as is too often the case I realize what a dope I'd been by letting "life" (which is mostly stupid and unimportant stuff) get in the way of people. I'm sorry I didn't make the time to spend some time with her. I'll miss her. I believe she's in a better place with her husband Ralph and my Dad and her folks and many other people she loved. Goodbye Ellen.
Peace
One of you readers (I think it was Drew) got me started thinking about a phrase from Dietrich Bonhoeffer. If you don't know Bonhoeffer google him and learn. You'll be a better person for knowing him. Anyway he wrote about how our faith should infect our entire lives.
Infect. What a great image.
So I was thinking about how that would really work in day to day life. Do we all become monks and nuns? I don't think that's where he was going with it. But I do think this may be in line with it. It's still winter where I am, cold and damp and nasty. I was watching one of the supermarket employees doing what HAS to be the worst job this time of year. Playing grocery cart cowboy. How often do we look out the windshield of our car and see a cart that's been left by someone who can't or more likely simply won't take the time to put it into one of the corrals? So my infection now will show in a new way. I will continue to put my cart away and if there are carts in the area of my car I'll put them away too. Not for thanks or glory or a crown in heaven. Just because I can and I can ease the way of another human being doing it.
I had a death in my extended "family" this week. She had been my summer time "Mom" for several years and a friend of my family since I was in third grade. Her son is one of my best friends in the world and her daughter is as close to a sister as I've ever had. But this past Wednesday she was ready to go. It had been a long illness that had left her bedridden and unable to enjoy life. And enjoying life seemed to be one of Ellen's best things. When I think of Ellen I think of two things one happy one sad. The sad one is I always think of a cigarette. The habit may or may not have killed her but it didn't help in so many ways. The happy one is her laugh. There was nothing small about Ellen's laugh. In fact she lived most of her life large. I haven't seen her in a couple years (she'd come up to my neck of the woods most summers and I'd make sure to see her)and as is too often the case I realize what a dope I'd been by letting "life" (which is mostly stupid and unimportant stuff) get in the way of people. I'm sorry I didn't make the time to spend some time with her. I'll miss her. I believe she's in a better place with her husband Ralph and my Dad and her folks and many other people she loved. Goodbye Ellen.
Peace
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Mild Language
I was in a video arcade the other day. Yes, I go to video arcades. I like video arcades. I have games I play regularly when I'm there. My current favorite is a sniper game called "Silent Scope". I shoot the bad guys and I get extra points for shooting them in the head. You're just going to have to learn to deal with it.
As I was exchanging my money for tokens I noticed a sign on the wall explaining the "ratings" for each of the game. Down at the bottom was one listed as "Mild Language" which explained that meant the games used "commonly heard four letter words"
Ummmmm, OK.
That would be like, cake and milk and work, right?
No,probably not.
When did that kind of language (I don't really have to give you a list right?) become "Mild Language"? When did it become socially acceptable? When did it stop being a big deal?
I'll be honest, I know all those words (and many more) and have used them all. Still do. But there's no pretense that they are "nice" words or "acceptable" words. They are profane words. My dictionary lists profane as meaning "vulgar or coarse". I use them as expressions of profound emotions. They are not playthings, not childish toys to be tossed around carelessly.
I've made my living for over two decades using language and the lack of respect for language I see today concerns me. We're far too likely to just brush something off by saying "That's not what I meant" as if that solves the problem. Words have power. Words have meanings. Meanings that can change based on context and delivery. They're damned dangerous things and should be treated as such.
Commonly used four letter words. Shouldn't those be glad and love and life?
Peace
As I was exchanging my money for tokens I noticed a sign on the wall explaining the "ratings" for each of the game. Down at the bottom was one listed as "Mild Language" which explained that meant the games used "commonly heard four letter words"
Ummmmm, OK.
That would be like, cake and milk and work, right?
No,probably not.
When did that kind of language (I don't really have to give you a list right?) become "Mild Language"? When did it become socially acceptable? When did it stop being a big deal?
I'll be honest, I know all those words (and many more) and have used them all. Still do. But there's no pretense that they are "nice" words or "acceptable" words. They are profane words. My dictionary lists profane as meaning "vulgar or coarse". I use them as expressions of profound emotions. They are not playthings, not childish toys to be tossed around carelessly.
I've made my living for over two decades using language and the lack of respect for language I see today concerns me. We're far too likely to just brush something off by saying "That's not what I meant" as if that solves the problem. Words have power. Words have meanings. Meanings that can change based on context and delivery. They're damned dangerous things and should be treated as such.
Commonly used four letter words. Shouldn't those be glad and love and life?
Peace
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