Sermon on Youth Minister

This past Sunday I was asked by my home parish to talk about the concept of a paid youth minister. We are thinking and praying about whether this is the next step for us. At times our youth ministry has been outstanding and at times it barely exists. So we are in the discernment process and I was asked to help.

I tried to lay out why youth ministry is important and why at a certain point getting a full time person is important.

This is the audio recording from the video we shoot of our 10 AM service. We're having a little trouble with levels so it buzzes when the audio signal peaks. My apologies, I'm still working on the problem. There is no print version because I was working from notes and speaking largely off the top of my head.

A couple notes about things you'll hear but may not understand:

First, I begin with "Can you hear me now?". My wireless mike had a dead battery. This is embarrassing because I'm actually kind of in charge of the sound system!

Second, you'll hear noise in the background when I say that the most important place for youth ministry is right here. That's me hitting a pew with my hand for emphasis.

Third, I take a little dig at Fr. Earle King. I want it known that I have the greatest respect and affection for Fr. King. He is a delightful priest and person and my comment is meant entirely in the spirit of brotherly teasing.

The sermon runs very long for me, just a fraction over 20 minutes.

10-26-08sermon.mp3

Reasons why I love my church

This was published on Sunday in the local paper. It's our local response to George Will's column on the Episcopal church from last week:

To the Editor



In the Sunday, October 19 Post-Journal I read with dismay George Will’s syndicated column, a column I usually enjoy. Mr. Will simplistically and falsely accuses the Episcopal Church of being “’progressive’ politics cloaked – very thinly – in piety.” I would like to reassure readers of the Post-Journal that since 1834 St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Jamestown has been and continues to be committed to the historic orthodox Christian faith as expressed in the Apostles and Nicene Creeds. We do provide a bridge between Catholic and Protestant Christianity because we base our authority on Scripture, Tradition and Reason in balance and harmony. We are proud to be a church that wrestles honestly and openly with difficult and sometimes divisive issues. And I personally am very sad that some have left the Episcopal Church over those same issues. Only together can we truly discern the mind of God.



At St. Luke’s we are focused on preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ, deepening our faith in Him, and sharing that faith with others. We are committed to living out that faith in service to our community through ministries like the Thrift Shop and Fourth Street Café. Did you know, for instance, that every dollar raised by the Thrift Shop (after expenses) and at the annual Shoppers’ Luncheon in November is given away to local outreach? In addition, members of our church are active in virtually every service organization in our community. We are not a ‘liberal’ church or a ‘conservative’ church, but a diverse church of Republicans and Democrats and Independents, who come together because of our shared faith in Jesus. Don’t take George Will’s opinion, come check us out in person or online at www.stlukesjamestown.org.



Eric Williams

Rector of St. Luke’s Church

Update October 26

The Weekend That Was - This actually turned out pretty well. Convention went well. My report was very well received. The new version of the video seemed to be well received. My job is still in the budget. Really, all good. I put together some notes for my sermon on Sunday and just tried to accept that I was going to go extemporaneous. Turned out very well, got great reactions from people. Then went to volleyball practice and that went pretty well too. Both the Steelers and Bills lost so that's the only downer.

So it was a pretty good weekend!

The To Do List - Got some jobs from convention to follow up on plus the next batch of projects. Plus a trip to Pittsburgh to consult with the family financial advisors (that sounds SO much more impressive than it really is).


What Am I Procrastinating About? - I've got some paperwork at home I need to just do and get over.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? "Humboldt's Gift" is finally in my past. Three weeks to read a book of less than 500 pages. Unreal. Normally a book this length takes me about 3 days, maybe a week. It's a Pulitzer prize winner written by a Nobel winning writer. And I don't recommend it to anyone. It's a tale of a spineless wimp, an idiotic gift and it largely lacks a point. Charlie Citrine, the main character, spends his time making excuses for his list of leech like friends while allowing them to continue to bleed him of money and life force. He also prattles on about Anthroposophy (which has nothing to do with the plot except to show what a nitwit Citrine is)and, oh yes, spends a fair bit of time considering writing an extensive piece on the subject of boredom. And you get lots of details in the book. Citrine is apparently based loosely on the author. Which does nothing to recommend the author to me. It will take a lot for me to ever read anything else by Bellow. A total waste of my time. Seriously.

Watched a fun little British film tonight called "Keeping Mum". It stars Rowan Atkinson, Maggie Smith, Kristen Scott Thomas and Patrick Swayze. I don't want to give away any of the suprises but it turns out Mum is a bit of a cheerful serial killer, all to protect her family. Wonderfully dotty and fun.

Not much in the music world at the moment.


Next Up Hmm, not sure really. Need to completely re-do the To Do list.

How Am I Doing The stress is over for the moment and I'm feeling quite good. Nice feeling for a change.

Peace

Weekend Update October 20

The Weekend That Was - Bleah. I've been putting in a lot of time on this video project. Got it all done in time to present to Youth Commission. And the reaction from everyone has been positive but without enthusiasm. The idea of the video is get adults enthused about sending kids to camp. And the video, while good from a technique point of view, doesn't do that. So it fails in it's primary goal. It was the kid, my darling daughter, who hit the nail on the head. She said it was too academic/intellectual. Just emotionally flat. Here's my best comparison. Have you ever watched real attorneys in real court rooms? They're almost NEVER the kind of inspiring, heart racing performers we see on TV shows. It's reality versus TV. I forgot that I was doing TV and did reality. And now I have four days to fix it.

Other than that I spent a lot of time running around doing chores. Some shopping, drop off the recycling, put the deck stuff into storage for the winter. Try my hand at baking bread (let's just say it came out much like the video.)

Oh one good piece of news. The sunroof on my lady wife's car spontaneously fixed itself. We kept trying the button, praying that we could at least get the fool thing shut. And it did! So it will stay shut till the spring at which point I'll have our garage start looking for the wiring short. Which is what it has to be.

The To Do List - Videos remain at the top with a new complication thrown in. I need to duplicate a lot of very large files for someone and they need them immediately so it's going to be a long week.


What Am I Procrastinating About? - Mostly raking leaves. Don't know if I'll get to it this week or not.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? "Humboldt's Gift" is still getting plowed through. Books NEVER take me this long. But I'm within 200 pages of the end and I keep hoping it'll get better. No music, no movies this week. Awful.


Next Up Video repair, sermon for Sunday, materials for Convention, radio techniques class I'm teaching on Wednesday. Sigh.

How Am I Doing I did in fact gain weight last week (sigh). I hope to at least be back to where I was this week. Our volleyball team continues to be winless. And the teams on the other side of the net seem to be getting better. The car situation is at least a little better (see above) and the stock market has settled down to merely twitchy rather than in full breakdown mode. So I'm stressed.

Peace

Isn't Life a laugh?

I thought I'd reached the point where I could just laugh. That point when the sadness and the bad news either tip you over into the dark night of the soul or into a crystalline realization of the absurdity of it all.

All the stuff from last week. Followed by a really good Monday in the market and an OK Tuesday. Then a calamitous Wednesday. Then the sunroof in my lady wife's car decides to stop working, with the roof cracked open. And her transmission is acting strange. And my car has worn out a wheel bearing. Then the shop calls to say the wheel bearing is actually a wheel HUB because it was built as one big, expensive piece ($259 just for the part) and oh by the way your front brakes are SHOT. 600 dollars later...

I thought I'd found the tipping point into laughter.

Then an e-mail. A friend. A fellow youth minister. A fellow diocesan staff person from not that far away. His position has been eliminated. He'll be out of work with a mortgage and a new baby just in time to greet the New Year.

And my brain shut down. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think.

So I do little things. Things that keep me busy without asking too much from my resources. I'm sorry all lines are busy. Your request is still being processed. I send a quick note to my friend, reaching out in what small way I can at this moment. I do futzy little office things. Things that need to be done but are simple. I take a walk only to discover it's too damn cold for a walk with no jacket. So it's a short walk.

I'm sorry but when does this shit storm end? Yes I'm almost ready to lay in a stock of food and water, board up the windows and post the sign "Keep Out - trespassers will be shot".

My lady wife won't permit it. I know her and that answer is just not on. She's told me that she believes we'll be OK, no matter what. And she's so sure. And I want to believe. Maybe this is how it's supposed to work. She's here to be strong for me when I quail before the darkness. When she was so sick I tried to be strong for her. We weathered that storm together.

I keep remembering the story of Jesus and the disciples in the boat in the storm. And they woke him crying "Don't you care that we're going to die?!?". And he calmed the storm and asked them "Why were you afraid?".

I don't know Lord. But I am. And I waiting for the storm to calm.

Maybe then I'll laugh.

Peace

Weekend Update - October 13

The Weekend That Was - My first impulse is to say not a lot went on but...
Saturday we drove up to see the kid at college so we could all go out for a birthday dinner for my lady wife. We tried a new restaurant near the kid's university that had an incredible view of the Niagara gorge, the food was fabulous and so was the bill! Suck it up for my lady. Plus we were finally told how much the semester abroad next summer is going to cost. My beloved daughter obviously saw my thoughts on my face. Expensive. But we'll make it work. Then Saturday was off to a Conference Assembly with my ELCA brothers and sisters. It was fine for what it was, a big official meeting. Then came home prepared to watch the Formula 1 race on video only to discover that SPEED channel was running off schedule (due to a long race right before the Japanese GP) and I hadn't set up a big enough recording window. So I missed the final 20 laps or so. The long weekend ended with me just futzing around the house working on some recording work.

The To Do List - Videos remain at the top with a new complication thrown in. I need to duplicate a lot of very large files for someone and they need them immediately so it's going to be a long week.


What Am I Procrastinating About? - I don't think anything actively at work, a couple things at home.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? Still hacking my way through "Humboldt's Gift" the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Saul Bellow. I am exactly half way through the book and we may finally be told what the gift is. This has become a challenge. I will finish this book. But I may never read another thing by Bellow.

Still not watching many movies. Starting to bum me out. Don't know how I missed this movie all these years but finally watched "Miller's Crossing". Given that I generally like both Coen Brothers movies and movies about organized crime it's a strange oversight. The movie is dark and typically Coen in so many ways (although there's virtually none of the usual cast here other than John Turturro). It was fascinating, and grim. I kept thinking "film noir, film noir, film noir". And by the end your brain is twisted all around by who betrays whom and which story is a lie and which one is the truth.

Next Up I must complete or very nearly complete the current video project. It is the ONLY thing on my list this week. Oh, how I wish that were true.

How Am I Doing Well, if I'm lucky I won't have GAINED any weight this week. The big rebound on the stock market takes some weight off my shoulders. I'll believe that things are better when we put together at least a full week of stability. We continue to get slaughtered at volleyball but I'm really having a good time. Out the door in about 40 minutes.

Peace

A deepening sadness

I'm still not sure that I should write this post. But it seems I am so I'll go ahead.

This has been one of the most...

And then I stop. I can not seem to find the words to describe how I feel. Saddened? Yes but that's not all. Worried? Yes that too but still doesn't cover it. There's an aspect of spiritual gloom that has descended on me that I struggle to describe. It is a great weight upon my mind and soul and heart.

Last weekend the the diocese where I grew up voted that they no longer wished to be part of the Episcopal church. It wasn't a surprising move, they've been telegraphing this punch for years now. I respect their point of view theologically even as I utterly disagree with it. I believe their attempt to leave as a diocese is without meaning. Dioceses are creations of General Convention and have no independent existence. They can leave individually but not as an entity.

Even though I knew the vote was a foregone conclusion it still saddens me. Sad beyond the deepening rift in my denomination. Sad to my core because this is the diocese of my baptism (St. Andrews, New Kensington), my confirmation and marriage (St. Thomas in the Fields, Gibsonia). It is where my parents ashes are interred. I don't know if that congregation will decide to stay as have 19 other so far. I can only imagine this is how children of divorce must feel. Torn by our affection for both sides but feeling that we are being forced into making a choice. It has been a darkness on my heart.

Then came the announcement that some folks are leaving us here in Western New York. Some of the clery and congregation at St. Bartholomew's Tonawanda have informed the bishop that they too will be departing TEC. Again, not a surprise. The folks at St. Bart's have been open about their disagreement, have kept the channels open for discussion and in the end have made their decision. They will walk away and form a new congregation in a new building. I have the highest respect for these folks. They have walked what must have been an incredibly difficult path and done it with honor and dignity. The words fail me on how much I respect and honor this hard and painful decision. I am truly sorry to lose them and I wish them well. But it is a further darkness on my heart.

Finally I must admit the financial crisis frightens me. Each day my small investments portfolio is devastated again. My financial situation was tight but manageable before. Now I must admit that the first touch of fear has descended. What will be left? How bad will the economy get? How hard will our diocesan budget be hit. Will I still have a job? How will I care for my family? Yesterday when I saw the final numbers for the Dow I literally became light headed. I can not deny it any longer.

I am afraid.

My faith tells me to trust in God. But I am not one who can just lay back and hope that God will make it all better. My belief is that God expects us to be involved in creating our own lives. I have no faith in predestination, nor a micro-manager deity. God has given me life, and gifts and love. Now I must make of them what I am able. I must ask God to help me hold this fear at bay. I will ask him to lift, at least a little, the darkness that oppresses me. And yes, foolish inconsistent mortal that I am I will ask him to micro-manage just a little bit in my favor!

I will not give up. I will not give in. I will continue to live my life and follow my calling.

And I will pray. A lot.

God watch over us all.

Peace

What spiritual type are you?

Spiritual Type test

You are a Sage, characterized by a thinking or head spirituality. You value responsibility, logic, and order. Maybe that's why you were voted "Most Dependable" by your high school classmates. Structure and organization are important to you. What would the world be like without you? Chaos, that's what! Your favorite words include should, ought, and be prepared. What makes you feel warm and fuzzy? Like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof it's tradition! tradition! tradition!

Because you love words, written or spoken, you enjoy a good lecture, serious discussions, and theological reflection. Prayer for you usually is verbal. You thrive on activity and gatherings of people, such as study groups. Sages on retreat likely would fill every day with planned activities, leaving little time for silence or solitude.

We need Sages for your clear thinking and orderly ways. You pay attention to details that others overlook. Sages make contributions to education, publishing, and theology. You often are the ones who feel a duty to serve, give, care, and share with the rest of us.

On the other hand, sometimes you seem unfeeling, too intellectual, or dry. Can you say "dogmatic"? You may need to experience the freedom of breaking a rule or two every now and then. God's grace covers Sages too, you know!

Famous Sages:

Mr. Spock | Dilbert | Elrond
Dietrich Bonhoeffer | Maya Angelou | Linus (Peanuts)
Yoda (Star Wars) | Andy Griffith | Mr. Miyagi
The Buddha | Rodin's The Thinker | Moses
Ross Geller | Matthew (the Gospel writer) | Tiger Woods

Read about some Saints who were Sages

(h/t to Gman)

Update plus 12 seconds

Quick update:

I lost another pound. I can see the next milestone! With a good week I can be below 190 pounds by this time next week.

I had an excellent week on the football pool. I missed only 3 picks this week and still finished tied for 5th place. I move up to 6th overall just 19 points behind the leader! Yeah baby!

Volleyball was good and bad last night. Played fairly uninspiredly but we won our first game. Still haven't won a match yet but at least we didn't get shut out.

Something new! Call it 12 seconds a day with Jay (yes I'm going to try and scratch out 12 seconds every week day at least to do this). It should be an interesting challenge. Let's see how this works embeded on the page. This is a flash program.

And so it begins on 12seconds.tv

Let me know if this works for you. It's being squirelly.

It's terrible news!!!

It is the end of an era. A great personal loss. I can not imagine how I'm going to go on. You'll find me weeping inconsolably in the corner.

Opus is going away. Forever.

One of my all time favorite cartoons will finally come to a complete halt. It began with Bloom County, which gave way to Outlands, which finally came down to just Opus. And as of the beginning of next month it will all be done. Berkeley Breathed the man who brought us Opus and Milo and the Radical Meadow Party and the Starchair Enterpoop is finally ending the entire series. He's announced there will be a final ending for Opus that will truly be final. One that won't let him bring Opus back but that will leave Opus as he always has been. The perfect naif. The ultimate innocent.

I enjoy the funnies, I read them most days even now. My all time favorites are a select group. Peanuts (the first one I went out of my way to read), Doonesbury, Calvin and Hobbes and Bloom County. Three of them are gone (though Peanuts is in re-runs).

The clip above is from an early version of the strip and one of my all time favorite episodes. So I'll leave you with the punch line. If you've never seen the strip it will make no sense at all.

But that's OK.

Pear Pimples for Hairy Fishnuts.

I truly will miss you Opurt old buddy. Stay away from the late night infomercials.

Peace

Monday Update - October 6

The Weekend That Was - Hmmm, interesting and sad. I have volunteered as race announcer for the local Soap Box Derby for something just shy of 20 years I think. They had a "rally" over the weekend and I did the first day's announcing. It was rather cold and I actually got a bit wind burned. So my face is red and covered in dry skin. Not fun. The racing went well. I look to be in very good shape this week on the football pool. I think I've picked 9 out of 14 correct so far with Monday night to go. Picked the Washington game which I was pretty proud of, most of the experts had that game the other way. Of course the Diocese of Pittsburgh voted at its convention to leave the Episcopal Church. Count me among those who don't believe that dioceses can leave but that's for another day. It is profoundly sad for me. My roots are very deep there and it is very painful.

The To Do List - Videos remain at the top but I have work to do for my Lutheran brothers and sisters, preparations for the next Youth Commission and, oh yeah, diocesan convention at the end of the month!


What Am I Procrastinating About? - Nothing too much, lots of things just a little.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? Haven't listened to much of anything new, lots of my favorites on the ipod. Working on "Humboldt's Gift" the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Saul Bellow. This is part of my ongoing attempt to broaden my reading a little. I use the list from "1,000 Books You Have To Read Before You Die" as a jumping off point. The Bellow book is #332 (arranged by date). To be honest I'm finding it a bit slow. But I keep hoping.

Not many movies either. Watched "Ringers - Lord of the Fans" a documentary on fans of the Lord of the Rings, both books and movies. Plus the impact of the books and movie on popular culture. If you're into LOTR it's not too bad. If you're not there will be nothing here to amuse you except the chance to mock folks with more time on their hands than sense in their heads. These folks (called Ringers) are right up there with Trekkies or Trekkers (whichever you prefer) and Star Wars fanatics. Clearly the person having the most fun was Andy Serkis who played Gollum. All he has to do is break into his Gollum voice and the fans go wild!

Next Up Videos and more videos. Tonight is volleyball (I did pretty well last week and the team thinks I might be worth keeping around) and the next weigh in. Down a pound last week probably not much more than that this.

How Am I Doing I'm feeling rather down about the vote in Pittsburgh. I'll probably break my silence on the "issues" of the day later this week and write about it. Otherwise things are going pretty well. I'd be happier if the economy would start turning around!

Peace

Because it's important

For the years that I was a morning man in radio one of my recurrent themes was the importance of voting. I'm a firm believer that if you don't vote, don't complain. You abdicated your responsibility as a citizen of our nation. Vote for whatever party, vote as a protest, write in Mickey Mouse, Homer Simpson, right in MY name, whatever. But for the love of God vote.

You can still register to vote in the state of NY through at least October 10. So make sure you're registered. If you're 18 or older get registered. And then vote. Check out the video. It says it as well as I can think of any way to say it. Yes, they're all celebrities (except for Julie) but even celebrities are right some times. Oh and be warned some of the language is pretty raw. Not a lot but some.

But the message is important enough to use that language. Copping out on voting is not an option I believe for people of faith. It's not an option for people who care. Is the system messed up? Sure it is, you have to be an idiot not to understand that. Even Winston Churchill said "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time." (House of Commons speech on Nov. 11, 1947) If enough people care enough to vote the system can, does, has and will change.

Get out and vote.

Just some random stuff

I studiously avoid airing my political views here. But this is a candidate I could absolutely get behind:


I approached the football pool results for this past week with fear and trembling. Out of a total of 91 possible points I got 56. Figured my standing would take a hammering. Turns out the weeks champ had a total of 66 points! Stupid Broncos. So I remain in 11th place. Not sure I like this coming week any better.

Weight loss contest - down 1 pound. But hey it's DOWN a pound. Any weight I lose from here on out is territory I haven't seen in over 20 years. Kinda cool when I realize that I will have no choice soon but to buy new clothes. My current wardrobe is starting to hang on me like I'd just gotten over a long illness.

Added a new recipe to my repertoire! Homemade spaghetti sauce. It's very close to the classic "Godfather" sauce (which legend says is actually the Coppola family recipe) and it was delicious! I was little worried because spaghetti is one of my lady wife's favorites and she can be a little picky (just a little). She's happy to make the homemade sauce our regular. Very cool.

And I pulled off a little car repair spiffiness too. I swapped out the door jamb switch on the driver's door. Now I not only have the interior light come on when I get in but the "lights on" warning chime now works too! Took all of five minutes. But oh so satisfying.

Later today I'll launch the first youth ministry video (actually this would be youth ministry videos v.2. We tried last year and had some technical problems) It's just a quick collection of memories from EYE but it's nice to have one up and running.

Monday update - September 29

The Weekend That Was - I guess it was OK. My lady wife was at a Happening teaming then went to visit the kid at college so was gone basically all day. So did a few chores around the house and goofed off. Then Sunday was church and an ordination (Yay, Mother Cathy!) at the Cathedral. Then I dropped off something at the kid's apartment too. Didn't get home to a little late so that was basically the whole weekend. Did watch the Formula 1 race in Singapore. A first ever night race under the lights. Just amazing. Even more amazing was Ferrari's TERRIBLE day (they scored ZERO points). Really weird.

The To Do List - The video stuff remains at the top of the list. I started work on the big video last week only to have my computer develop some kind of brain cramp. I spent the weekend trying to massage that out. We'll see if that changes anything.


What Am I Procrastinating About? - Just stuff in my personal life. I need to buckle down.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? I've pretty much given up on "The Ice Diaries". Don't know why but it's not grabbing me. I am reading "Storming Las Vegas" a real life story about a Cuban, Marielito refugee who had been trained in his previous life as a Soviet era special forces "Spetznaz" trooper who robbed a string of Las Vegas armored cars and casinos (including the Bellagio) back in 1999 and 2000. It's been fascinating so far.

I haven't listened to much music nor seen any movies this week. Depressing. Did bump off three "Speaking of Faith" podcasts over the weekend. They were "The Business of Doing Good" which looked at businesses that are trying to change the world and thrive as businesses. Which was very interesting. "Brother Thay - A Radio Pilgrimage with Thich Nhat Hanh" This is a well known Vietnamese Buddhist teacher who is very interesting. Sadly the show eventually became a lot of interviews with his students who all said what a great teacher he is. Got a bit boring. And finally "Evangelical Politics - Three Generations". How about Chuck Colson, Greg Boyd and Shane Claiborne on the same stage talking about the relationship between church and politics? All three had great things to say but it was Claiborne that really spoke to me the most.

Next Up The videos! The videos. The videos. Oh and another weigh in on the new weight loss contest is tomorrow. I'm not sure I've lost anything this week. Oh wait! I start playing volleyball with the parish team tonight. Last time I played volleyball I was in high school. (Yes, volleyball's been around THAT long!). So I may post tomorrow from a hospital room.

How Am I Doing Meh. I've had a sore throat all weekend. I woke up all froggy voiced this morning. I've tons of things to do. So I'm feeling a little stressed right now.

Peace

Bits o news

Been a strange week so far:

A very dear friend at church passed away yesterday. It was not unexpected in any way but it's still sad. She was a special lady and will be missed. Funeral tomorrow.

Had to take our older cat to the vet yesterday because she had pretty much lost all interest in anything. She barely flinched when the kitten would jump on her and gnaw on her head rather than growling and hissing per usual. And she wouldn't even budge when my lady wife came into the house. This cat has always treated her as the "goddess" and needs her undivided attention for at least 20 minutes at the end of every day. The last three days? Didn't even turn her head. The early word is not good -liver damage, kidney damage. She's a very sick kitty with a very poor prognosis. She's in the animal hospital for the time being.

In news of lighter note and less importance -

My first weigh in on my new contest put me in the top 5. I doubt I'll stay there. Lost just over 2% of my initial weight. I would really love to drop below that next 10 pound milestone. Just four pounds away.

Dropped out of the top 10 in the football pool. It was a wretched week. Come on the Dolphins beating the Patriots? And a serious case of tail whoopin' at that. A couple other teams let me down as well. So I fell to 11th place. Still picked something like 10 out 16 games last week but got several high point games that I missed. Need a better week this week. Only 13 games to pick.

I've spent most of the day waiting on a software download that I need for the big project I'm sitting on. So everything has been on hold. Doing lots of little things.

Peace

On being disliked

It came up again the other day.

Some people don't like me.

That's always kind of, well, puzzled me. I suppose it shouldn't. I know for a fact (because she's told me so) that my lady wife didn't like me much at all when we met in college. I know also that my academic advisor was hoping I'd transfer preferably to a different college (He actually got his wish for a semester). As a young man I protected myself with an facade of nearly unbearable bravado. I behaved as if I were supremely confident to cover my utter lack of confidence.

Do I still do that? I don't think so. Many, many people seem to like me. I've worked hard to lower my guard and be myself. It's taken years of work but I do believe that I'm pretty good at several things I do.

So why don't people like me?

My thoughts would include:

1: Because I am a confident person. I've been fairly successful at several things over the years. I know what I'm good at. I don't brag about it (any more) but I'm not going to be falsely modest either.

2: Because I'm smart. No, I don't think I'm bragging. My IQ has tested consistently well above average. I'm fairly well read and I read widely. Consequently I know a bit about a great many subjects. I know, like and use big words sometimes. Because they're the best words for the moment I believe. Traditionally American culture doesn't like smart people. The anti-intellectual strain still runs deep. You can be a second rate jock and be a "regular guy" that everyone loves. A brilliant nerd will always be the butt of jokes.

3: Because I believe what I believe. I try not to hold opinions without some basis. Because I do try to get a deeper understanding before I take a position I'm not likely to give up that position easily. I am open to having my mind changed. You will need to have a COMPELLING argument to do it and you can expect that I will challenge the basis for your argument and question you on the details. People don't like that.

4: Because I expect people to work as hard and care as much as I do. Not about everything. If baseball bores you, more power to you. But if we work together, I work hard. I expect a lot of myself and I don't see any reason why you should get paid to do half ass work. Now I acknowledge that we need to be judged by the quality of our gifts. I don't expect you to match me in areas where you are not as gifted as I am. Or vice versa. But I expect you to work hard to achieve whatever level you are capable of achieving. You'll have my support and I expect yours. I once told a group of my former co-workers that the company had given us everything we need to succeed and if we didn't they should fire us all. They complained to the boss who, astoundingly to me, TOOK THEIR SIDE!!! I was told I expected too much of people. I don't think so.

5: I don't kiss butt. I avoid playing office politics whenever possible. That cost me a job once. I'm not going to pretend just to make you feel better. When I've been a supervisor I've tried to be as gentle and caring as possible when I have to chew someone out. But they get chewed out.

As a younger man it bothered me tremendously that people disliked me. I will admit it still bothers me a bit. But I am who I am. I am flawed but I'm working on those flaws. Otherwise I'm comfortable with who I am. I'll take whatever comes because of it. I walked out after losing my last job with my head held high. I left honorably and without compromising on what I felt was important.

In the end I need to look at myself in the mirror, I need to face my family and friends and be able to say I did what I thought was best. I did what I believed was right.

And if you don't like me? I sincerely ask that you sit down with me and tell me why. Offer me the chance to explain or change. I will listen as openly as I am able. If our differences are too great then at least we can part with honest understanding between us.

Peace

Monday Update - September 21

The Weekend That Was - Fairly quiet weekend. My lady wife was away on Saturday (she's on Happening team for the next weekend) so I cleaned. Don't know why but when she's gone I have an uncontrollable desire to clean. She finds that odd but a perfectly acceptable odd. Sunday was our first Youth Commission meeting of the new program year. The big news was the beginning of our camp re-examination process and the first of a set of recommendations for change. All of which was met very positively. Which was cool. Then the Steelers game. We shall not speak of that.

The To Do List - The video stuff goes to the top of the list (you mean it stays at the top of the list you slacker!) plus a few other smaller chores.


What Am I Procrastinating About? - Nothing at the moment.

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? I'm reading two books right now - The Ice Diaries - written by Capt. Wm. Anderson, the second commander of the nuclear submarine Nautilus. Nautilus was the first ever nuke sub, went under the artic ice cap and a bunch of other cool stuff. I will admit that what grabbed my attention first was that the dust cover on this book only covers the bottom half of the book itself. Never seen one like it before.


The other book is "Free For All" by Don Borchert. This is about one of my favorite places in the world, the public library. Written by a Los Angeles area librarian (be warned, librarians know a lot of "naughty" words!) Borchert pulls no punches about some of the folks who use the library and how they are run. As I checked it out the librarian told me she had read it and loved it so I'm guessing it's not far from the mark even in my little corner of the world.

The movies for this week were:

Midway - caught this on AMC. An all-star cast in a really creaky WWII film about one of the great naval battles of that war. The dialogue was truly wooden. But it's a fun movie to play spot the stars on. It was OK.

Garden State - This was a much better movie! Funny, kinda quirky, fun cast (Zach Braff, Natalie Portman and Ian Holm) about a New Jersey boy who comes home for his mother's funeral, faces some of his personal demons, re-discovers the ability to feel and, oh yeah, falls in love with Natalie Portman. Some guys have all the luck. Another great little indie film.


Next Up The videos! Must make progress on the videos! Plus get the camp stuff rolling. Oh and the first weigh in on the new weight loss contest is tomorrow.

How Am I Doing Better. The meeting went well, I have an excellent weight to report, the sky is blue and the sun is shining. Which means I've forgotten something.

Aaaaaarrrrrr! It's talk like a Pirate day!

I first came across this bit of silliness years ago. It's just too much fun to pass up.

So Ahoy mateys! Welcome aboard my Pirate ship the "Poison Sabre of Hell", (name generator)

I am your captain: Iron Sam Kidd
"A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!"

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.


The original "Talk Like a Pirate" website.

So greet the day with an Arr or I'll have the lot of ye keelhauled!

Something for the middle of your week

Really, this was just too much fun to pass up. As someone whose personal piety balances between the catholic and protestant this just cracks me up. then I think about it and realize how sad it makes me. The number of people in America who have no real understanding of the language they speak each day just appalls me. I had a co-worker back in the day who insisted in substituting the word 'mute' for 'moot' which drove me bonkers. The list is endless. I will confess that upon occasion I misuse a term, we all do. It's folks who insist on using words about which they don't have the slightest inkling of comprehension that makes me crazy.

By the way this is from the site "Not Always Right" which is now a regular vice for me. If you've ever worked in retail you'll love. And you'll probably love even if you've NEVER worked in retail.

Football pool update - I'm up to NINTH place after this week! I got the same number of games right but got more of my high point games so I improved by a handful of points. Top 10. We'll see how long that lasts. Next weeks Steelers game isn't going to be fun to pick.

And the weight loss thing - Matthew McNutt is firing up another weight loss challenge and I'm in. The Biggest Loser debuted the new season last night and I was moved as always. It makes my goal of losing 20-30 pounds seem pretty pathetic. They have TWO contestants who are medically restricted to only 30 minutes of exercise a DAY. If they can lose the weight surely I can too. My official starting weight is 198 pounds, which is actually a couple pounds heavy. I had my photos taken to start the competition then realized I had omitted something and had to re-take them at the end of the day after dinner. So I'm going to get a first week boost of a couple pounds. But I've been losing and re-gaining those 2-3 pounds all summer. And I'm being honest about it here. I did in fact weigh that much at the time I had to get the weigh-in photo. That's about 5 pounds above my ending weight after the last one.

Same plan, eat smart, eat less, exercise. We'll see.

Peace

Monday Update - September 15 2008

The Weekend That Was - Well my adventure in self injury is detailed elsewhere. Went to the ordination and installation of a new priest just down the road. Got a great turnout from all over the diocese which was cool. Over 150 packed into a pretty small church in Randolph. Quiet otherwise. Steelers, Bills and astoundingly Pirates all came up winners. Watched some TV and relaxed. Nice weekend actually.

The To Do List - Still have video work to do, I have a very important fax to send, some calls to make, and prepare for Youth Commission on Sunday.


What Am I Procrastinating About? - Pretty much all of the above. I'm pathetic, lol!

What Am I Watching/Reading/Listening To? Still working on the Sci-Fi collection, watched an episode of Foyle's War a British mystery set during WW II. I love the characters and the acting and oh yes, there's Miss Honeysuckle Weeks (that's her REAL name NOT the character!) who I much enjoy watching as well.

Do not expect me to be ashamed of enjoying God's good work. She is easy on the eyes AND can act. Even my lady wife agrees.


Next Up The next big thing is Youth Commission. But there's also a car appointment too. Oh yes and as of tomorrow I begin the next weight loss contest. As of today I've gained back 5 of the 25 pounds I lost in the spring. Yes, it feels good to be this light. How much better will it feel after the next 20? Oh and I've decided to play on the church volleyball team at the YMCA for exercise too.

How Am I Doing I'm grumpy about those returning pounds.