Words Along the Way - Prayer (Part 2)

Last time I talked about prayer. After I'd posted I realized I'd done something dumb. It's the kind of thing adults do with youth all the time and the kind of thing church people do to non-church people.

I'd talked about the "How" of prayer before I'd talked about the "Why". If you don't have any reason why to do it why would you care how to do it?

The real problem is that for those of us who already are working on it the why usually boils down to "Well, because you have to/are supposed to/that's the way we've always done/stop pestering me with these questions!" It's simply such a part of who we are we don't think about it much any more.

But that's no excuse and not much help to you if you're not sure about this whole prayer thing. I've got to admit from the outside the whole "I'm talking to God" thing seems a lot like the character in the movie "Harvey" who talks with a six foot tall invisible rabbit. It certainly looks like someone needs their screws tightened.

So why pray?

Hmm, theological answers first. Because God has been pretty clear he wants us to and Jesus did. If it was good enough for the Big JC it's good enough for me.

Not good enough for you? OK.

Because it helps us look a little deeper, to think things out, to take burdens that just feel too damn big to carry and hand them over for a little while. When I'm praying (and you'll recall from last time that my prayer style is, shall we say, casual)I'm placing my thoughts into a holy place. I'm amazed at how much different they often look in the light of that place. Don't worry if you're not sure you've got the "holy place" stuff down perfect. It isn't necessary. God will work with you wherever you are. As with any conversation it's very important to listen. As much to yourself as for God (for the record I've never had God speak in words to me. But I have gotten some very clear communications from the Big Fella. I'm not sure how to explain what that means. It's one of those you'll know it when you get there things. No special effects, flashes of lightning. Just knowing.) Some of my best prayer moments is when God just kind of reruns what I just said and I go "Umm, wow. That was really stupid. Let me keep working on that one"

Why do I pray? Because it comforts me. It teaches me. It consoles me. It gave me courage one night driving through a blizzard all by myself out in the middle of nowhere. It's given me strength at times when I was pretty sure I was empty. Prayer has been a time to vent, to just really give God a piece of my mind. And that kept me from turning that on someone who couldn't handle it or didn't deserve it.

I pray because it makes me feel closer to God.

You'll need to find your own personal "why". You may want to experiment with someone else's "why" but don't let anyone force you into one particular "why" or another. Find the one that works for you.

God will be happy to hear from you, no matter what.

Peace

Words Along the Way - Prayer

I find it interesting that very often we Episcopalians have trouble when we're asked to pray off the top of our heads. I've heard lots of reasons but I think there are two that cover most of the problem.

First, we are children of the BOOK (the Book of Common Prayer that is). While the BCP is one of our greatest resources and additions to the larger church I think it's made us think that prayer is always a formal, planned activity that only uses a certain kind of language. This is quite simply wrong. Yes the BCP gives us a wonderful collection of beautifully written prayers for virtually any situation. (As examples, just skimming quickly I found prayers for your school, rain, young people, our enemies, for VACATION!!!,two for birthdays and no less than five graces for meal time) The problem is that with such a great wealth of ready to use prayers we don't get much practice just making them up as we go.

Which brings me to the second point. I'm not sure we get enough practice away from church time and the BCP. Because of this mindset that prayer needs to be formal and in the "right" form we haven't ever explored anything else. You just need more practice.

So don't worry about the words. They aren't important. In fact we recognize at least one form of prayer that doesn't require words at all. (Did you know that the catechism in the BCP lists 7 principal kinds of prayer?)

An exercise I use to help "loosen" people up about prayer is called the "Hey God". A lot of young folks will greet one another with the word "Hey". So start your prayers the same way you'd start a conversation with a friend. Then just keep on rolling. Yeah, prayer is a form of just talking with God. As time goes on you may find you'd like to use some of the more formal versions too. Great.

So just relax and find your own way to talk with God. He'll be good with it, no matter what. You should see how some people have spoken to him in the Bible!

So let us pray.

Hey, God. There's a lotta folks down here who feel kind of uneasy about starting the conversation with you. Please help ease their way into those first couple with you. Bring them the peace and joy that our conversations bring to me. And later on, I've got a couple other things I need to talk with you about. Ok? Cool. Amen.

Till the next time,

Peace (and keep prayin')

Words Along the Way - Church

Time for another pause along our journey. Think of it as a time to sit and rest and talk a bit.

Last time I promised to explain why I think church is important. Let's make sure we're clear on what we're talking about. "Church" to me is the gathering of fellow believers, usually to worship but also including times of study or even just hanging out together. When we are gathered together (check Matthew 18:20) Jesus is with us and we are the church. So on Sunday mornings we're the church, at vestry meetings or conventions we're the church. We're even the church when we get together to tell each other that we're wrong and apostate and heretics. I'm not so sure that Jesus is happy with his church at those moments but that's another issue.

Notice that there's no mention of the buildings or institutions. No mention of the committees or whatever BEING the church. That stuff, including what we do on Sundays, is merely how we express what it means to be the church. The buildings can all fall down, every BCP can disappear, even every copy of the Bible could disappear and if we gathered together in faith we would still be the church.

The problem that a lot of us (including me many days) have with "church" is dealing with those other issues. Who's the boss, which service should we use, which Bible translation, which traditions or what kind of music? None of that is THE CHURCH. Getting hung up on it keeps us from focusing on the important stuff. You know, Love God, Love One Another, et cetera.

The church, the real, important church, is about people. People worshiping together, caring for one another, teaching one another, learning from one another. That other stuff is merely the manner which we have chosen to travel the way, the journey. How we do it is much less important than that we are doing it. If we choose to emphasize the real church then we will not, we can not choose a bad manner to travel.

So is church still boring sometimes? Yes. Find your way through. Like any journey some parts are easier and more interesting than others. Sermon not speaking to you? Fine, take a look at the scriptures and see what it does say to you. Take the time for some quiet conversation of your own with God. Get to know the other folks who are travelling along with you. Let them help you find your own method of travel. You may also discover that you can help them too.

I said in the last one of these that it takes time to make important decisions. The church offers you a history of how other people did it. Do you really WANT to make the same mistakes others made? Wouldn't it be nice to have someone point out a short cut to you? That to me is the church working at it's best. Remember that folks who chose a different means of travel are still members of the church. Treat them with respect. Hopefully they'll do the same but a lot of travellers will defend "their way" as the only way. Wish them well and keep moving. When someone asks you answer them gently and explain that this is the way you've chosen and why (that answer may change as time goes on, but that's cool).

Then point them towards the church to help them continue their journey.

We'll talk again.

Peace

Words Along the Way

After some additional thought I've decided to change the name of my "Letters to the younger brothers and sisters" to Words along the Way. What I'm writing is way too casual for the image in my head of a letters series and I don't want to go into "advice" mode. Other than serving as a "bad" example I'm not sure that I have any positive advice that's worth even this poor price.

Instead I'll continue to offer just some thoughts especially for the younger sojourners along the way of faith. My thoughts on various subjects that I don't feel we (the church) have done a particularly good job of talking about. The next installment should arrive later this week.

Peace

Letter to the Younger Brothers and Sisters pt 2

I started this year intending to continue this sort of long correspondence with my younger brothers and sisters in faith. It got derailed for a couple reasons, none of which are important or really significant.

If this were intended to be Profound Theology then maybe the concerns would be worth noting. Think of this rather as words of advice from someone you met along the way who has been walking for a while. It'll be worth every penny you pay for it.

Having just finished reading Tony Campolo's book "Letters to a Young Evangelical" I suppose I feel a little derivative too. I can only offer that my inspiration were Paul's letters, not Tony's. So I guess I'm derivative either way. I recommend both sets of letters for your consideration.

So what's this letter going to be about? How about not being too quick to jump on board the latest passing faith train? There's one thing I've noticed about young people (both now and back in the day). That's the tendency to be hyper focused on the "now". Right now. This instant. Down the road, the future? To be honest when you're young you don't think much about it. Seems like it'll probably take care of itself. What matters is what's happening RIGHT NOW!

The problem is that we tend to make quick decisions under those circumstances. We don't want to miss the chance so there's a tendency to grab at what's right in front of us. History shows the track record for that kind of decision making is pretty poor. It's amazing how often the slick, snazzy looking offer turns out to be really low grade crap in the long run. And that can be shattering in your faith life.

So here's advice from the traveler at the side of the road (Hmmm, maybe that'll be the new title. Won't feel so derivative) Take a deep breath. Take some time to live with it for a while. Be suspicious of folks who press for instant commitment. What are they trying to keep you from seeing? Be suspicious of folks who have secrets. Things that they'll share with you only if you commit first. What are they trying to keep the world from seeing? A decision on what to have for dinner tonight can be made in minutes. The decision on who you are and what path God has laid before you should take years. In fact I'm a firm believer that you never get AN answer to that question. The answer is an ongoing process that stretches from this moment RIGHT NOW into the undetermined future.

What should you do while you're making that decision? Keep going to church. Keep praying. In my next pauses along the way I'll tell you why I think that is important. Quite simply you need to stay involved in the process of making the decision. Take a look at where you are and what you believe. It astounds me at the number of people who never think about what they "believe". Ask questions. Don't be put off by folks who don't want to answer. How they choose to answer will tell you a lot about them. Maybe more than their answers themselves.

But take your time. There's still a lot of road ahead of you.
I'll see you along the way.

Peace

And the snow falls

There's no greater impetus to blog than having someone say "Where's your blog?". Zoom, time to hit another post.

Of course the problem is you want them to arrive to something profound, or humorous, or witty. And your brain begins to churn. And you realize that you'd settle for reasonably intelligent with correct spelling.

Last year I offered up the first of what I plan to be some simple, relatively short " Letter to the Younger Brothers and Sisters" That first one was called "It's not about you" and dealt with selfishness. As I head into the new year I was thinking about what else I'd like to touch on. Several "church" type issues come to mind

Tradition
Prayer
Church
Faith

I must be out of my mind (as I look at those words above) to think that I can 1) do them in a relatively short piece, and 2)that I'll be able to offer anything particularly useful. But it just seems like too often we DON'T spend the time breaking things down. All too often, even among youth workers, I seem to hear folks assuming that we all know what that means, or that we all know what our special church terminology means. With all due respect to the big brains of theology, the high thinkers and the deep delvers our faith was explained to simple folk in simple terms two thousand years ago.

What the heck happened?

Simple. We decided we'd try to figure it out, to explain it and understand it and whip it into good shape. And the older I get the more I come to believe that all that work is a waste of time and the end result is largely, ahem, bovine by product.

So maybe I'll add these to the list:
Of Heaven and Hell
Of Perfection
On Understanding God

Maybe I'll get it wrong. But that'll just put me in the same boat with lots of other folks. Including a lot of high thinkers, deep delvers and theological heavyweights.

I'm willing to take the risk. Simple faith from a pretty simple guy.

Peace

Letter to the Younger Brothers and Sisters

I've been thinking about a series of open letters. Each one would talk about some single concept that I believe is important for my younger brothers and sisters in Christ to think about. This starts the series. We'll see how it goes

It's not about you

I workout a couple days a week trying desperately to hold my rapidly aging body together. One of the things I do is a half hour "class" on stationary bicycles. The class is led by a friend of mine who puts us through a quick but tough half an hour of exercises. It's hard work that requires that I keep my mind focused.

So imagine my irritation last week at class. We had 12 of 13 bikes filled in a room with no air conditioning. Pete had gotten us rolling with warm ups and we had just started into the routine when a young lady rolled in late. Being late is no big deal. A minute or so later in comes another woman. Both of them wound up on the bikes right in front of me. When the second got up and rolling they began to talk. Now Pete is trying to give us the exercise instructions with these two talking right in front of him and I'm trying to hear him over them. The women just continued to talk, got out of sync with the rest of class (we do a lot of up/down exercises), Pete tried to guide them back into the rhythm, which threw him out of sync. And they continued to talk. With about ten minutes left (remember this is only a 30 minute class!) the first woman obviously finished whatever she needed to talk about and got off her bike and left! The second woman did the same a few minutes later.

I was totally disgusted.

Why? Because these women showed no respect for Pete or anyone in the class. We were just the background to their personal lives, and apparently, not especially important backgrounds at that. Why couldn't the conversation have taken place somewhere else if it were that important? And if it wasn't that important why did it have to happen right then and there? Why show up late and leave early to a small class where that will be disruptive?

It strikes me that I'm seeing more and more of this. The concept is that it's "all about me". The rest of the world is fine just as long as it doesn't interfere with what I want, when I want it. This kind of self centered attitude is rampant in our society today. Somehow we've been given the idea that everything is supposed to go our way, that no one else matters except that they fulfill our needs without any regard for what they may need.

Somewhere along the line a healthy level of self love turned into unbridled ego bordering on solipsism (which is the metaphysical belief that I'm the only one who really exists, and everyone else is just a useful figment of my imagination). It's not wrong to care for yourself. It is wrong to care only about yourself.

So here's my humble opinion: There's nothing good that comes out selfishness. It may feel good in the short term, since you can get your way. In the long run it hurts you and everyone around you. It makes people angry, and hurts them. Which makes them want to take out that anger and hurt on someone else. Eventually it makes its way right back to you. Our faith as Christians call us to care for one another. That's not intended to be "always take care of the other person and never yourself". God loves you but he loves the other people out there too. Even the annoying ones who talk through exercise classes.

I heard a story recently that I'd never heard before. It has to do with Moses leading the Hebrews out of Egypt, through the Red Sea and then the waters rushing back in to destroy Pharaoh's army. As this played out an Angel looked at God and saw tears on his face. The Angel asked "Why are you crying Lord? You have saved the children of Israel!" And God replied "Were not the armies of Pharaoh also my children?"

What you do affects the people around you. Are you going to make every day all about you, or are you willing to look around to see if you are going to hurt someone nearby through your actions? There a thousand little ways to care for other people. One thing I do is return shopping carts to the corrals in the parking lots, even if they're not mine. If there's one near my car I take it back. Why? Because one day last winter I saw a young person whose job it was to track those carts down. It was a bitter cold day, the snow in the parking lot was a couple inches deep and about half slush. I realized that while he was getting paid to do that job, it was a nasty, uncomfortable and largely thankless job. So I try to help out by making sure that the ones near me get put where they belong.

All I can ask is that you keep your eyes and hearts open for ways to take care of the people around you. That every once in a while you give up something you want so that someone else gets what they want.

Trust me, you'll feel better and you'll make the world a better place.

Peace