That's about how I feel these days. It has been an incredibly busy year so far. In fact let me review:
About a year ago my mom had a massive stroke and eventually died.
My wife has had BOTH hips replaced (totally new bionic hip joints)
I attended my denominations General Convention. An event both exhilarating and difficult.
I had a full summer of camp activities, including my LEAST favorite, canceling a camp.
My only child has gone off to her first year at college (where's she's doing very well!)
I just gave up a position that I loved, that I was good at and that I didn't want to give up.
We've just moved into a new house.
As a friend of mine pointed out all I need is divorce and bankruptcy and I will have covered most of the major life stress events all in 365 days. (While divorce isn't even on the horizon, every time I see the college bills I wonder about bankruptcy)
I'm feeling scattered, and put upon and like shouting "Enough already!" at whoever is listening. I spent the last three days trying to find my cell phone. We had a bunch of our friends come over to help with the big move and they were like a whirlwind! The problem is that we're not quite sure where everything is at the moment! (Sure you do big fella. It's in one of the hundred or so boxes stacked all over your house!)
So what do I do? There are days when I feel like packing it in, digging a hole and pulling it in on top of me.
Then I think:
You have really cool friends who gave up a Saturday morning to move some very heavy stuff for you for no reason other than they like you.
You're living in the nicest house you've had since you lived with your parents.
You're married to an absolutely amazing woman with only one flaw. The complete lack of judgment that makes her love you.
You're doing work that you mostly love (yes, there are parts of youth ministry I don't like. There are parts I'm no damn good at in fact)and that you know you're making a difference.
You're in the best place you've ever been in so many ways.
The only way to screw it up? If you decide to host a pity party for yourself and then attend it. Life is hard, sometimes very damn hard. I'm praying for someone right now who is probably twice the youth minister that I am who has been out of work for a while and is hoping that this interview is the one that brings him back.
It's not so much that I need a kick in the butt (though there are days...) as that I need to remember that God has my back and holds me in his arms.
Enough already. I have work to do.