I first came across this bit of silliness years ago. It's just too much fun to pass up.
So Ahoy mateys! Welcome aboard my Pirate ship the "Poison Sabre of Hell", (name generator)
I am your captain: Iron Sam Kidd
"A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!"
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
The original "Talk Like a Pirate" website.
So greet the day with an Arr or I'll have the lot of ye keelhauled!