Way to go Matthew!!!

I mentioned before that my friend Matthew was involved in the TV show "Biggest Loser". While he wasn't chosen to stay on the ranch at first he has earned a chance to get on it later in the show. Six folks of the ones sent home originally have been invited back. Two of them (1 guy, 1 girl) will get to stay and try to win the big prize. I'm really excited for Matthew and it gives me more push to keep working on my own middle aged spread.

Check out Matthew's latest blog entry, and check out the show's main page

So all of us involved in youth ministry have our boy in the race! Keep him in your prayers.

Peace

Well, that was interesting...

In the last week I've been in two states (NY and PA) and two countries (US and Canada). I took an official oath (as executor of my mother's estate), signed many legal documents, attended our diocesan convention, raked leaves for the first time in over a decade and just generally ran myself ragged.

So a few notes from the week:

Best line overheard at convention: A clergy person (who shall remain nameless but he's quite tall) on a cell phone walking past me "I'm on my way to the bar for the budget hearing". Only at an Episcopal convention. For the record it was in the morning, the bar was not operating, we were simply using that space for the hearing. Given how the budget hearing goes some years doing it in the bar may not be a bad idea. Budget was passed without discussion this year (which is not necessarily a good thing)

My thanks to the youth from St. Phillip's for coming out for the youth event at Convention. It was a first time event and they let me try the program out on them this year. Look for it again next year.

I was in Canada for the annual Quint diocese day. Bishops and their staffs from the dioceses of WNY, Rochester, Huron, Niagara and Toronto gather once a year to sit around and gripe about everyone else in their dioceses. Ummmmmm...........joke! We get together to discuss a variety of issues that face us at the diocesan level and in our specific geographic area. It's always very interesting. This year was the first specific meeting of diocesan youth ministry staff. I have great hopes for what may come from that. Also great to hear that we face similar challenges.

I didn't realize that I really DID have to be "sworn in" as the executor of the estate. Had raise my hand and repeat after. My brother flew in from Texas to help me out (he's an attorney) and we had a cool time hanging out and talking in between meetings and chores.

Late last week sometime my main e-mail address at the diocese became so filled with spam that it shut itself down. Which was a little scary since it is, well, my MAIN e-mail! That's been fixed now and I'm back in communication with the world.

Raking leaves was, well, raking leaves.

Pray for our Happening this weekend! A great team led by Chuck Berds and some really great youth as candidates.

Peace

A little fun along the way

Well, diocesan convention starts on Friday. I've got a lot of running around to do between now and then. Plus some work to do while I'm there. So I think we need a little fun.

For the record my favored position is second base, just like my hero Bill Mazeroski.
Interesting to see soccer in second place, but why is golf so far down the list?

What Sport quiz

You scored as Baseball. You should play baseball, the true American sport. There's lots of positions to choose from, but the most important are pitcher and catcher. Baseball 92% Football 67% Soccer 67% Lacrosse 50% Golf 50% Swimming 50% Tennis 42% Field hockey 42% Ice Hockey 42% Track 33% Volleyball 33% Softball 33% Basketball 17% What sport are you meant for?? created with QuizFarm.com

An interesting weekend

Notes from the weekend:

Went to visit a church up in the area hit by the storm for their Youth Sunday (which I hate but am learning to deal with.) While I was there I spent some time with the youth group. During their discussion the question came up of what it meant to be ordained. I quote the answer:

It means you're holy enough to read the Gospel

I'm having great fun repeating that to clergy people! We did our best to correct that view.


Meanwhile the update from Buffalo. The last school districts to get going again after the storm will return to classes on Wednesday. That's right almost two full weeks afterwards. The streets were lined with big piles of downed branches. The tree limbs still hadn't been cleared on one side of the church. And this is an area that wasn't the hardest hit. Those areas are still a mess with piles so high that parents are being advised to dress elementary school children in bright colors so they can been seen by drivers! The cleanup is expected to run at least a quarter of a BILLION dollars ($250,000,000).

A thing seen while driving - I'm seeing them fairly commonly now. They are bumper stickers that read "Official U.S. Terrorist Hunting Permit" or "Official (insert state name) Terrorist Hunting Permit". What struck me about this car was 1) It had TWO of these on the trunk, and 2) It had a "Jesus is Love" license plate in the rear window.

Am I the only one that finds a serious disconnect there?

Oh and my daughter just IM-ed me to tell me that I'm a dork.

So what else is new? So's she. And her Momma!

Peace

Thank you very much

I was somewhat surprise when an online friend told me I'd been "noticed" by another blogger. I read this blog and enjoy it (be warned it is iconoclastic and occasionally profane. It is also funny and informative. Don't say I didn't warn you). It's written by an Anglican priest in Jolly Old who goes by the name Mad Priest. Don't think American "mad" (angry) but more English "mad" (demented and looney, as in Hatter). He can get good old fashioned American PO-ed too. But I'm quite happy that he's added me to his list of "idiots". Check him out at "Of course, I could be wrong..."

And yes, isn't it a great photo of me? Gotta get a better one up.

Peace

Many of me!

Another fun thing. The only problem is this time it's absolutely WRONG!!!

HowManyOfMe.com

There is: 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

On days when you're really bored try googling your own name. I have a brother who keeps track of his two brothers by periodically googling our names. Which is how we found out our third brother was running for statewide office in his home state! Anyway I googled myself after I took the quiz and came up with at least TWO other Jay Phillippis (spelled the same way) very quickly. Check the story below:

Stolen police car

The REALLY funny part of this? The date of the story is my birthday!

So to all the Jay Phillippis of the world, rejoice! We are a rare and special breed.

Peace

Biggest WINNER - Matthew McNutt

This is Matthew McNutt (yes, that's really his name. Don't being makin' fun cause Matthew is a BIG boy!) Matthew is someone I've met online and once in person. He's a fellow youth minister (in Maine) and is one of the contestants on "Biggest Loser". You won't see him on "the ranch" on TV cause he's doing his thing competing at home. In four weeks he lost 51 pounds. At home. On his own. The two little guys are his sons.

If I could lose 51 pounds I could probably go off my high blood pressure medicine (maybe) and I wouldn't ever hear the doctor talk to me about being overweight or obese. I'd look better. Feel better. Live longer.

Matthew is my hero and I'm going to try and figure out how to lose that weight too. In the meantime I'm rooting for Matthew to win it all (he still can)

Peace

That was some storm!

By now you've probably heard about the storm that rampaged through western NY on Thursday and Friday. If not here's a bit from the Buffalo News:

The Columbus Day storm dumped nearly 2 feet of snow, the sixth-biggest snowfall ever in a 24-hour period, and forced the closings of schools, businesses and a 105-mile stretch of the New York State Thruway from Rochester to Dunkirk. (Don't know how long the story will be there but the link to the full coverage is in the title of this entry)

For the record, if you live here in WNY you're accustomed to snow. LOTS of snow. But this was completely out of the norm. I believe I heard that the next closest day for snow fall in October is 6 inches. This was the kind of thing we sometimes see in January or February.

My lady wife and I found ourselves caught in the storm. We were driving from north of Buffalo (where my daughter attends college) to south of Buffalo (where we live). The drive normally takes two hours.

It took four.

Three hours of creeping along, with visibility very low. Roads not only covered in inches of snow but the temperature dropped quickly enough that ruts had developed. Trucks and cars off the side of the road. Tree limbs down. At one point we had tried a different route hoping to get us either through the storm area or to somewhere we could stop for the night. Our first choice for stopping was part of the blackout area. No luck. So we had to kind of loop our way back since turning around was very difficult. (Try turning around when you can't see the driveways or side streets because of snow on the ground, snow in the air and no street lights. We got caught on a looooong hill and ended up backtracking about 5 miles at one point) I got out to 1)clear the headlights, and 2) try and figure out what the problem was with traffic at this point, when I heard a cracking near me and had a branch fall about ten feet away. It was scary enough by itself and a little more so when I heard one of the three deaths related to the storm was a man dying when struck by a falling branch.

In the end we decided to simply gird our loins and do the best we could hoping that the storm would have an edge to the south. We found it about 15 minutes later and cruised home on clear and then dry roads. Here, well south of Buffalo, we actually got no snow at all from the storm.

We left the college at 11 PM and arrived home at 3:05 AM. It's one of the worst sets of driving conditions I've ever gone through. Thanks to God, my father for teaching me how to drive, my mom for buying a four wheel drive SUV that I now drive, and my lady wife for being a calm presence by my side.

It's good to be home.

Peace

PS (Added Monday October 16)Yesterday we cancelled our diocesan youth commission meeting because large parts of the city of Buffalo and surrounding areas were still without power and some travel restrictions remain. Most schools in the area are closed today, some tomorrow and several of the largest suburban school districts have closed FOR THE WEEK! Meanwhile an hour and a half to the south there's no snow on the ground and life goes on as normal.

The never ending struggle

I don't know if anyone else has to do this, but periodically I simply have to stop everything else I'm doing to organize. My life seems to be a head long rush from one project to the next with little time to assess, to reflect, or to put anything away.

Over the years I've come to the realization that this surge and rest process isn't very effective. A couple years back I shared with a youth group the story of a piece of paper that sat on my desk for over a year. On it I had written a phrase. I know what happened. I was surging along when this phrase leapt into my mind. It summed up all the concepts that I'd been juggling, I had a great idea on how to build a lesson, a column or a sermon on that single phrase. It was going to be BRILLIANT!!

I had to write it down before I forgot it! Once it was immortalized on paper I could then put it on hold till the latest surge was over. But the surge lasted a long time, and the scrap got buried under a pile of other stuff. When I finally brought it back to light all that was left was the phrase. I didn't remember what it referred to any more. The brilliance that it had focused was gone.

I kept that paper for many months afterwards. Hoping that perhaps, under just the right circumstances, the veil would part and I would catch just of glimpse of what I had seen before. From that I could try to re-build the thoughts. The glimpse never came. Finally I threw the paper away because there were just too many other scraps and sheets and pages of thoughts and ideas that had built up behind it. I still feel sad about that scrap of paper and thought. I've repeated the process several times more since then, but it's that one that still stands as the symbol for lost inspiration to me.

Today I'm surrounded again by a desk awash with papers. Some are notes from meetings from as long as a year and a half ago. Forms, reminders, business cards, notes for letters I meant to write, requests that need to be processed, projects on seemingly perpetual hold. I'm almost afraid to sift through the piles. The fear lurks that I'll find another paper with another amputated phrase on it.

What I'm really searching for is balance. Balance between the necessary and the numinous. I have been a creative person all my life. Photography, writing, acting, my work as a radio personality, all are about creating for me. These piles on this desk are equal parts that which must be done and that which I am called to do. For me to reach (or at least reach towards) those goals I must stop setting things aside for some day. But how do I work on the necessary and still honor the revelation of the numinous? Inspiration can be a fragile gift with a short life span. I can not simply say "Well now is the scheduled time to be creative. Let inspiration flow!"

On the other hand am I prepared to bury more inspirations that have withered before their time?

Meanwhile the piles grow higher and some inspiration begins to fade buried deep within.

Peace

A minor correction

A sign of how scattered my brain is, I just realized that I had posted my column for this month, twice! And hadn't noticed till just now. So I fixed it. Which means I have even fewer posts than before.

ah such is life.

Peace

Enough already!

That's about how I feel these days. It has been an incredibly busy year so far. In fact let me review:

About a year ago my mom had a massive stroke and eventually died.
My wife has had BOTH hips replaced (totally new bionic hip joints)
I attended my denominations General Convention. An event both exhilarating and difficult.
I had a full summer of camp activities, including my LEAST favorite, canceling a camp.
My only child has gone off to her first year at college (where's she's doing very well!)
I just gave up a position that I loved, that I was good at and that I didn't want to give up.
We've just moved into a new house.

As a friend of mine pointed out all I need is divorce and bankruptcy and I will have covered most of the major life stress events all in 365 days. (While divorce isn't even on the horizon, every time I see the college bills I wonder about bankruptcy)

I'm feeling scattered, and put upon and like shouting "Enough already!" at whoever is listening. I spent the last three days trying to find my cell phone. We had a bunch of our friends come over to help with the big move and they were like a whirlwind! The problem is that we're not quite sure where everything is at the moment! (Sure you do big fella. It's in one of the hundred or so boxes stacked all over your house!)

So what do I do? There are days when I feel like packing it in, digging a hole and pulling it in on top of me.

Then I think:
You have really cool friends who gave up a Saturday morning to move some very heavy stuff for you for no reason other than they like you.
You're living in the nicest house you've had since you lived with your parents.
You're married to an absolutely amazing woman with only one flaw. The complete lack of judgment that makes her love you.
You're doing work that you mostly love (yes, there are parts of youth ministry I don't like. There are parts I'm no damn good at in fact)and that you know you're making a difference.
You're in the best place you've ever been in so many ways.

The only way to screw it up? If you decide to host a pity party for yourself and then attend it. Life is hard, sometimes very damn hard. I'm praying for someone right now who is probably twice the youth minister that I am who has been out of work for a while and is hoping that this interview is the one that brings him back.

It's not so much that I need a kick in the butt (though there are days...) as that I need to remember that God has my back and holds me in his arms.

Enough already. I have work to do.

Peace

I swear this is the last one

This is all Gman's fault. It's what I get for reading his (excellent) blog. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I promise a real blog entry soon, maybe even today.

For the record I hate Dr. Pepper but my wife loves it. So this means I probably have issues. Like THAT would come as a surprise to anyone who knows me.

Oh, and it's POP, people. Not SODA! It's POP!

Peace

You Are Dr. Pepper

You're very unique and funky, yet you still have a bit of traditionalism to you. People who like you think they have great taste... and they usually do. Your best soda match: Root Beer Stay away from: 7 Up

What Kind of Soda Are You?

Words Matter

This is my column from the October issue of ChurchActs, the newspaper of my diocese

I've made my life with words. My training as an actor, years in radio, even today in youth ministry, they all rotate around words and how to use them. I know I've annoyed my daughter for years by actually answering the question she asked, not the one she thought she was asking. For example she'd ask to “see” the remote for the TV. I'd hold it up and then put it back. Of course she'd get irritated because what she wanted was to be given the remote, but that wasn't what she had asked. I really wasn't trying to be obnoxious (that was just a side benefit). Rather I was trying to impress on her the importance of using words the right way. Meaning using them in a way that helps us clearly communicate.
What brings this to mind is how often I hear people using words poorly. I had a co-worker years ago who, when he felt a point was debatable, would always say that it was a “mute” point rather than a “moot” point. That's one common way that we break down communication, by using words incorrectly. What is really bothering me is the attitude I've run into when I ask people if they know what they just said, or if they really meant what they just said. It's the “Whatever/I was only kidding/You know what I mean” attitude. This is the one that really drives me crazy. At it's very center this attitude says that words don't matter. In a faith where we refer to the messiah sometimes as “The Word” it strikes me that we need to take a very close look at how we treat words.
One of the places I see this attitude shine through is when young people use all kinds of negative words toward one another then just laugh it off. It's part of the culture we live in to make words into throw-aways. When we make the words we use to talk to one another throw-aways we're not far from saying that what we're describing is just a throw-away too. When we are constantly battered with negative words it can batter our self image as well. If you call someone a dork often enough it doesn't matter that you don't “mean” anything by it. It doesn't even matter if they know you're kidding or that you love them. Someone they like keeps calling them a rude name, so in their hearts they believe it must be true. The list of words I hear being used range from the pretty tame (dork, weirdo) to some that aren't for polite society or the pages of the diocesan newspaper. If you use those words because they're part of the cool, current youth culture then I'd recommend you take another look at how shallow that culture is. What's being peddled to you is all about surface image and self. A life in faith is about going deep below the surface and caring for others.
I need to note that this is not a “teen age” thing. Adults are using words in our church today designed to hurt and hinder all the time. Once we've decided to stop listening words can build a wonderful barrier to communication that keeps everyone else out. Misusing words with faith and theological underpinnings can create divisions where they don't exist and widen them where they do. As always adults need to remember that we stand as role models for our younger brothers and sisters. The model that I see often (though not always) when it comes to using words disturbs me very deeply.
Just before they begin preaching I've heard many clergy pray that their words be wholly acceptable to God. It strikes me that we need to make that a model for all our words. It's hard to imagine that God finds much satisfaction in hearing us call each other names, no matter how much we protest that we were just joking. In his letter to Ephesus (4:29) Paul reminds us to watch what we say so that all our words brings a touch of God into the lives of the listener.
In other words, words matter.
Peace

More wasting time

Yes I'm wasting time, but I'm struggling with some things I want to write about. So for the time being just silly stuff. The 10% Dixie kind of threw me.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

10% Dixie

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

5% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Aaarrrr!

Just couldn't resist.

My pirate name is:

Mad Sam Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Where I am

Dear Lord,
I'm tired. Not just physically tired, shoot that's probably the least of this tiredness I feel. I'm tired from feeling like my world is resting on my shoulders. Tired of feeling like I can't afford to let anyone down. Tired of being the responsible one. Tired of the challenges of job and ministry, of bills, of health issues, of all the terrible problems that may exist or may only be in my head. I'm tired of the burdens of my own brokeness.

My heart is tired, my mind is tired, my spirit is tired. I feel like Sisyphus constantly pushing that stupid rock up that stupid hill. Never to get there, always to have it roll back down the hill, right over top of me most times. Sisyphus was given that task as a punishment for trickery. Am I being punished for something? That's not what I understand our relationship to be so I don't think that's it but it's the way I feel sometimes. Sisyphus was given a pointless task to do and an awful lot of what I'm doing feels pointless to me too.

This is a hard thing you've tasked me with, this youth ministry thing. The image of the garden comes up in scripture all the time. It seems like this is the part of the garden where everything grows fast including the weeds. I can spend all day fighting the weeds and never have a moment to feed and water the things I'm supposed to be growing. When particularly clinging weeds gather round what you want me to tend actually RESENTS my pulling those weeds away! And it's likely I'm never going to see the full bloom of the work you have me doing. They're still growing and immature when they leave my care. Am I making any difference at all?

Of course I'm still growing too. And some of those clinging weeds I've become rather partial too as well. I try to remember that you've given me a good place to grow and surrounded me with wonderful resources to help me in that growth. The saying goes that you never give someone more than they can bear. Feels like you've got a pretty high opinion of me somedays! I have to admit that deep down in my heart that feels good, even when it seems like maybe, just maybe, this time you over estimated just a teensy bit.

I'm still tired but I feel a little better now. I know that getting that stupid rock up that stupid hill is still my job. But do you think you could hold it here for just a moment? Just long enough to catch my breath and ready myself again for the push.

Thanks, that was great.

Love you man.

Peace

Yeah, that's a miracle!

I'm still frazzled from the summer and having a little trouble getting myself re-oriented to "real" life. Of course having my only daughter going off to college the day after tomorrow, my lady wife going into surgery in a week and having to move from one house to another while still trying to do my job is probably effecting the overall confusion too! I literally had to stop and think what day it was as I rode into work today.

Of course things could be worse. Walt Mueller is the man behind the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding CPYU, a very cool resource site for stats and info on the world our young people have to traverse. Walt went into work early one day this week and was narrowly missed when a car crashed through his office wall! Photos He was on the phone with his son (who ended up hearing the whole accident)and managed to step just far enough out of the way that he suffered nothing more than some scrapes from the whole thing!

My prayers go out to Walt and the driver (who was basically OK too it appears).

Makes me glad I'm on the second floor.

Peace

A Lightning strike of truth

Every once in a while I come across a blog posting from someone that just smacks me between the eyes with its truth and love. A fair number of those come from the man known as Real Live Preacher. I've commended him to you before in general but the posting today just struck me as amazing and appropriate for those of us who work with youth. The question posed is one we get asked many many times and I intend to hang on to this wisdom for my future use.

You'll find a link to the post in the title and Here

Wow. And I stand by my comment on that post. This man has touched me in amazing ways through his writing. I hope that my blog may become half of what his is in wisdom and faith.

Peace

Still here

No I haven't died, gotten lost or whatever It's simply been such a busy summer that I'm having trouble getting the energy to sit down and write. It's been a busy, busy summer and I'll share about it soon. But for the moment I'm just trying to struggle along.

Peace

Thoughts from the weekend

Sorry I've been a bit lax but it's still a busy time of the year for me. Got lots of family and friends coming in for the weekend. Celebrating the daughter's graduation from HS (I think the first school bill arrived today. If I'm lucky it's just her room/roommate assignment)plus a second memorial service for my mom. More thoughts on that later.

Something struck me over the weekend. First I was doing something that I generally DON'T do. I was watching golf on TV. I play golf (badly) and enjoy the frustration and triumphs of the game. But I find golf on TV to be just about terminally boring. Because they bounce around from player to player and stroke to stroke I get no feel for any one round. It took me a while to realize that Sergio Garcia was Tiger Woods' partner. The only reason I watched was:
1: It was a major
2: It was almost over (I tuned in when Tiger was on the 14th hole)
3: I'd heard that Tiger wasn't blowing away the field.

Let me be perfectly honest. I don't want Tiger to win. Quite simply I'm tired of Tiger winning all the time (which he hasn't done in the last couple years). This has nothing to do with Tiger himself. It's just that when the same person or team wins all the time I get bored. Dynasties are dull and overall aren't good for the game after about the fourth year in a row IMO. And when you win the Tiger often does, by blowing the rest of the tourney into the weeds early then coasting to the trophy it makes watching on TV even MORE boring.

So Tiger is only a couple strokes ahead and Chris DeMarco (yes I was rooting for DeMarco) was doing all he could to keep the heat on. You know what? It was still boring.

What finally grabbed my attention was what happened after Tiger finished the 18th hole.

He burst into tears.

And my opinion of Tiger jumped through the roof. Because we'd never seen this kind of emotional outburst from him before. Because having lost BOTH my parents in the last six years (and Mom only 9 months ago) I felt his pain. Because he didn't try to hide it. Much to the surprise of his caddy it looked like, LOL. Then again when he hugged his wife.

This was the moment he'd always shared with his dad who died a couple months ago. Another major title, the only ones that count for Tiger, another big hug from the man who had put Tiger on the path to greatness. And the final smack of reality when it was no longer something he could just ignore. His dad wasn't there waiting for him. Would not EVER again be there to hug him after a win. And Tiger broke down and cried.

And so did I. Because my Mom won't ever call me to harass me about something she thinks I should be doing, or telling me a story for the third time because she'd forgotten which of her sons she'd already told it to. Because I can't call my dad and talk about the sweet new cars that are coming out or how the latest Formula One race finished. That neither of them will see thier eldest granddaughter debut on the college stage, or see any of their other grandkids graduate or play football or whatever. That I lost the advice and comfort of my parents.

And it sucks. That's what hit Tiger so hard on the 18th green. So he cried and hung onto his friends and wife. Which is entirely cool and proper.

In that instant I felt like Tiger (the greatest golfer in the world) and I (not so much) came a little closer. My prayers are with Tiger. Heck I hope he wipes up a few more majors this year.

Peace

A Community theme

I mentioned the theme for Senior High (actually for all our camps this summer) and that we'd had some success with the teaching. The theme was simply "Community". I try for simple concept themes that will allow the director and staff of each camp to interpret it as they see fit for their age group. (Last year was "Beloved"). I did some research and didn't find anything that I really liked, so I borrowed some ideas and built a course around them.

My approach was simple. We talked about what community means in the light of a life in faith. For the overall concept I took John 13:34-35 because I think that (the new commandment love another as I have loved you) is central to our understanding of how we create a community. It's not enough to love one another but we are to do it as Jesus loved us. Lots tougher. We talked about what constituted a community, the good, the bad, the communities they belonged to and the responsibilities that go along with it.

Each day had an individual scripture story that went with the day and some activity/discussion for them to hash out what we were talking about (each session lasted an hour) The central focus was on a pair of concepts:

Confess/Forgive
Serve/Accept
Encourage/Admonish

Then on Friday we talked about "Taking it Home". Each of the pairs had to be defined first, then we looked at the stories from scripture and discussed them. I enjoyed all the sessions and the kids could repeat back to me the concepts we'd discussed the days before and put them in context so I was getting through too which was pretty cool. Friday's session kind of had me stumped. How to get it through, at the end of the week and without sounding preachy? I had really wanted to use some music from Isaac Everett (mentioned in a previous post) and as I listened to one cut (don't have the CD here so I can't tell you the name, it's cut 4 off his brand new disc) there was a line that just kept coming back to me "Lead me to Jerusalem to die" (that's close if not perfect). It wasn't until I was up in front of the class with the music playing (pretty hard rock sound to it, so it's pounding and the kids are sitting there with their heads bobbing) when it struck me. I went over to the chalkboard and wrote "Go to Jerusalem and DIE!" then walked away till the song ended. In the silence that followed I talked about the community of believers that went before us, and how they would go on pilgrimage. I spoke of our own lifelong pilgrimage to the Holy City and how as people of faith we are called there to die to our selves. All of the concepts we discussed were about setting aside our selves to love one another. It is in doing that, just as Jesus did, that we truly fulfill the new commandment and create a faith based and faith filled community. I'd only used up about 20 minutes of the hour but it felt like time to wrap it up. So I sent them on their way to their Jerusalems.

You never know about how well the seeds been planted with young people. They seemed interested and open and involved. I'm not sure I get to ask for any more than that. The adults seemed to really like it. One suggested I needed to do that as a workshop for adults throughout the diocese and the bishop suggested that me teaching needed to be a regular part of conference. (Blush)

By the end of the week we'd had a beach party (with rubber duckies for everyone! Those were a major hit), a dance, a talent show, game night, workshops on Anglican Prayer beads, General Convention (with one of our former youth who had been part of the Official Youth Presence in Columbus)and done a Morning worship that drew from traditions all around the world (mostly Anglican plus Iona) and prayed for folks from the diocese and the world wide Communion. Some of the kids liked the morning prayer enough that they took me up on taking a copy home with them. Maybe they'll even use it!

It's tiring me out just thinking back on the week. It's a conference I feel really good about. It wasn't perfect (next year! lol)but it went very well.

Onward to the next task...

Peace

OK let's do some talking here

End of a long hot day, here in the world's tiniest office with no air conditioning. Let me take a stab at just a few memories from Senior High Conference.

It's always HOT. But not this year. Warm mostly with rain the first couple days. The rain was lots of fun the day the electronic entrance locks all died. With the entire conference outside! It also made our class time interesting since we're normally out doors. But we survived.

The kids decided to translate my name into Spanish. For no apparent reason. So I became Jota for most of the week. I'm usually pretty easy about this kind of stuff but they insisted on shouting it out every time they saw me. Which wore thin REAL fast. Finally I quietly asked one of them to drop it since it was starting to bug me (and we have a community rule that says we refer to people they way they prefer). No big deal, just a quiet request which I planned to repeat individually over the next couple days till it died out. Well the next morning at the big teaching session one of the girls greets me with a big "Jota!" and the youth I'd spoken with last night tells her not to do that since I had "yelled" at him the night before! Please be assured there is no way what I did could be construed as yelling. If only because it was last thing of the day and I was exhausted! So I quietly explained to the whole conference that I preferred the name my momma gave me and explained how much of our identities were tied up in our names. They told me that I'd said I liked the nickname (sorry, no) and got a little upset with me. I stood my ground and the "Jota" thing died out mostly. Not the way I wanted to handle it but it got the job done. Sheesh.

It's funny when I was a kid I thought my name was dopey. There weren't that many Jays out there (in elementary school there was one other, a really cute red headed girl! I'm not sure there were more than three of us in high school) In the end however it is my name and I should have called them on the name rule earlier rather than let it slide. I guess it's especially important to me because I'm NOT clergy. Most of the staff are, so they're Father John Paul, or Bishop Michael or Mother Ellen. I discourage the use of Mom or Pop (titles for adults working with our Happening movement. I do qualify for that) because not everyone has done Happening (or will) and that should remain part of that community. I know other adults who feel differently and I let them do their thing (again the name rule). So what I DO have is the name the Captain and his lady gave me almost 50 years ago. It's mine and it means ME. I don't know who the hell Jota is but I wish him well.

Of course that was the biggest problem we had (OK we had some organizational problems with the college and the whole electronic lock thing). And that's a very good thing.

I was very excited about the theme for this year and the program I led. I'll share some more about that soon.

Peace

Getting back into the swing

Yeah, I know, I've been gone awhile. The whole General Convention, Senior High Conference, daughter graduating from HS, summer time thing has just completely worn me out. I promise starting next week more posts. In the meantime my thanks to Mykel Pickens (I'd say my friend Mykel but I'm not sure we know each other well enough. We've hung out at times on the same boards and lists. So I'll settle on my brother in Christ) who posted this and I really like it. Think about it.

FOR WHOM DID CHRIST DIE?

HE DIED . . .

1. For all (1 Tim. 2:6; Isa. 53:6).
2. For every man (Heb. 2:9).
3. For the world (John 3:16).
4. For the sins of the whole world (1 John 2:2).
5. For the ungodly (Rom. 5:6).
6. For false teachers (2 Peter 2:1).
7. For many (Matt. 20:28).
8. For Israel (John 11:50-51).
9. For the Church (Eph. 5:25).
10. For "me" (Gal. 2:20).

Peace

Wow, I'm tired

Sorry that there's been such a gap in my posting but the computer system at the college where we hold Senior High Conference apparently has some new level of security that wouldn't allow me to log onto any of my usual sites. I could read anything I wanted but couldn't post anything, anywhere. In the end it was probably a good thing since it focused my limited attention span on the tasks at hand.

I'm still exhausted. Prior to July 1 I had been at home three days in three weeks. I still feel jet-lagged and not at all ready to face my office.

Oh my office! Stacked with boxes from camp, back mail, hundreds of back e-mails (OK those are only "virtually" stacked!), expense reports to finish, camp bills to be paid, money to be submitted, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

The good news is that conference, while small, went well. I got some rave reviews of my teaching bits from people who have no need nor reason to butter me up. I'll share the stories and ideas over the next couple weeks as I continue to catch up.

Meanwhile there are several projects screaming for my attention and there's all this chaos to be tidied...

Peace

How did I miss this one!

I just went over my notes from GC and saw I had completely overlooked the one OUTSTANDING music at worship we had during the week. I meant to write about him but could never remember his last name when I sat down to type. So mark this down

ISAAC EVERETT


The link to his web site is in the title of this post (just click on it) you can even hear some of his music. Which he describes as post modern worship. It blew GC away, sold 100 CDs in about a half an hour plus a whole bunch more when they sent out for more later in the week.

On top of that he seems to be a pretty humble guy with an immense gift.

After all the whining I did how could I forget to tell you about the one I loved?

Yeesh.

I'm home

And very very tired. Senior High camp begins on Sunday and I'm not fully prepared. I did some work as I could at GC but there's still lots to do. So I'm trying to wrap up my GC experience today so I can dedicate tomorrow and Saturday to camp work.

GC Overall - As with three years ago I'm struck with the civility of what went on from all sides. We spoke passionately but not in anger. Hard decisions were made, some of which disturb me deeply. We elected a female PB and I wept with joy. I worked with an amazing group of youth and adults and watched the young people grow into future leaders. I saw an amazing movie Traces of the Trade which I commend to everyone. I will take all of what happened there and pray about it and trust that God is leading us where we need to go.

Worship - I've whined enough about this I suppose but while well done it was boring and exhibited little of the diversity we can possess. I hope for better in three years. The Jazz Worship was good as was the young man who played Isaac....can't remember! I bought his CD and have enjoyed what I've heard so far.

The Official Youth Presence - I love these young people and was proud to serve them for ten days. They spoke passionately and intelligently, they attended committee meetings and made the voice of young people heard. I look forward to seeing them return as deputies (both lay and clergy) and someday as bishops perhaps.

The Host city - Columbus is an attractive city with a variety of architecture and opportunities. Some great restaurants including Due Amici, Brownstone on Main and BD's Mongolian barbecue (which is a chain that we should get here in WNY!) Also kudos to the North Market with it's wonderful Farmer's Market feel and good (and varied) meal offerings. I would visit Columbus again without a doubt.

Travel adventures - You knew I would have at least one! We flew puddle-jumpers both ways, including a turboprop! On the way home we flew into LaGuardia (don't ask me the logic of flying to NYC if you're going from Ohio to WNY) The plane was over sold by four seats and I would have taken the free ticket if the next flight hadn't have gotten me into Buffalo at nearly midnight. When we boarded we were informed that we were either 26 or 29 in the line to take off (turbo prop cabins are noisy!) and that the flight crew had no idea what the hold up was. So we sat for about an hour slowly inching our way forward.

I come away from GC invigorated and exhausted, exhilarated and disturbed. I hold my church close in my heart and will pray as we move forward. I pray for PB elect Schori and all the friends I made there.

We now return to our regularly scheduled madness.
Peace

Last day at GC

I'm running late so I'll just try and hit the high points.

Walking has slowed down, yesterday was 13,458 steps so about 6.5 miles. Too much time listening to endless technical debate in the House of Deputies.

Defeat of the moratorium resolution. Don't know how you imagine the "debate" but it was long, tedious, repetitive and utterly, utterly civil. Not a single raised voice, no shouting, no displays of anger. Of sadness yes, of anger, not a lick. By the way, it's not over. We're told to expect the issue to be re-opened this morning. The idea is to create a compromise version to give the new PB something to carry with her to her first meetings later in the year and in the future.


Approval of the election of Canon Beisner as next bishop of N. Calif. Again much sadness expressed but all very civil and sane.

Once the Windsor stuff was done the tempo of action increased, which was nice.

Music at worship continues to disappoint. Well performed but very standard and very dull. We did a piece of service music that used a Jamaican folk tune as the melody and it was played at dirge tempo. I can only hope it'll be better in '09 in Anaheim.
George Wirner preached yesterday. He was brief but very good.

Not taking a lot of stuff home this time (had to buy a new piece of luggage last time!) A couple of CDs of music and a book on prayer plus some "useful" hand outs. Turned out that my Associate rector (Susan Anslow Williams) was doing some cartoons for one of the GC daily publications. And the Youth presence got parodied by one of them.
Well I'm running late. I'll fill in the details when I get back.
Peace

Down the stretch we come!

Lots still going on even as time begins to run out...

Walking update - Sunday 11,056, Monday 13,420. Not quite sure why it's dropped off. We did ride on the shuttle bus on Sunday a couple times and with the exciting business I've been staying in the gallery to listen.

Forgot to mention the Jazz worship on Sunday. Liked it a LOT! The musicians were delayed by storms and their instruments didn't make it in time for the service so they were playing with rented instruments. VERY impressive. Music on Monday was from Elisabeth Von Trapp also very beautiful.

More reaction the election of the new PB. The GC newspaper noted that a lot of the international visitors who are here reacted very positively. At my worship table is a bishop from a small non-continental diocese (I'm being vague because I don't want to presume and I like this bishop) and he commented very favorably about the PB elect saying that he believes she will be a better reconciler than ++Griswold.

Joint meeting between the houses for the discussion of the budget. I'm happy to report that GC has lived up to its commitment to youth ministry as a priority.

GC began discussion of the Windsor report resolutions. They began with the "Expression of regret" one which drew an interesting and respectful debate with some excellent points made by both sides. The young people have spoke quite passionately and several more of them plan to speak as more of the resolutions come to the floor. I've been very proud and impressed by their thoughts. No votes announced as yet even as the debate has moved on to the resolution concerning future ordinations of gay and lesbian persons. Keep praying for the church.

Moment of humor. A female deputy with her very small baby came to the microphone. She introduced herself then added her baby's name adding that the child was a member of the "unofficial infant presence" Got a nice laugh.

Still lots of business to do, lots of pain still to be felt. These discussions are not easy for anyone and we're watching the church work its way through the pain. I remain proud of my denomination.

Peace

And history made

What an astounding day.

Quite simply the announcement of our new Presiding Bishop Catherine Jefferts Schori came as a huge surprise yesterday. The gallery and deputies broke discipline and cheered briefly following the announcement then just looked at one another in utter shock. I'm lucky enough to know one of the people who served on the committee to select the initial four candidates. She told me that she had been very impressed by the bishop of Nevada during the process and called her a "uniter". The process moved very quickly at first, the bishops had done three ballots by lunch time then didn't have a decision till between three and four. The confirmation by the Deputies was overwhelming. There were about 220 potential voting deputations (lay and clergy vote separately from each diocese) and 196 voted yes.

It's amazing to have watched history being made twice here at GC. It was interesting trying to call St. Luke's (I utterly forgot it was Sunday and couldn't figure out why no one was in the office. Being at GC is a lot like entering the Twilight Zone) and home. Even with a very strong signal I couldn't make a connection probably due to the massive amount of traffic at that time. EVERYONE was on their cell phones.

As yet we haven't seen anyone walking off the floor in protest but I expect to see that today as we begin working through the Windsor Report resolutions. It's very sad to realize that this will finally bring about the break that we've worried about for the last three years. At the same time there's almost a sense of relief. Of course it's going to be incredibly painful and there will be lots of angry words and court battles. Pray for our church.

Other news - I forgot to mention that Adam (one of the GCOYP) addressed the E3 group (an event that brings some 200 young people to GC to learn more about how our church works). He did a great job despite being pretty nervous. He followed the bishop of Colombia who was a candidate to be the next PB. Adam is also a Formula One racing fan so he and I have something to bond over. He's a major McLaren fan.

Seeing more Anglican nuns than normal (come on how many Episcopal nuns do YOU see on the average day? lol) Interesting note: there seems to be a height restriction since the average nun is about 4 feet 10 inches tall!

Met a "celebrity" yesterday -Brad Drell a conservative Episcopal blogger (Drell's Descants). I almost always disagree with him but he's articulate and intelligent. I see on his blog that he's also leaving the Episcopal church because of the election. My prayers will go with him. He was personable and very nice during our conversation in line to get lunch. He's also a Happener!

Today the legislation kicks into high gear. We did have one small victory yesterday on legislation. A resolution to encourage more young people into leadership roles had set the ages as "18-30" Several young people pointed out that the canonical standard for adulthood is 16. There was some discussion and in the end the amendment was approved as was the overall resolution. Now it has to go back to the House of Bishops. I hope they approve the change quickly. I'm very excited.

The rest of our day was a bit of a mess. The schedule (through no fault of ours or anyone's really) came apart after the election. People just weren't available etc. So we scrambled to cover things like dinner. Remember that dinner is for a group of 30! Makes planning a little complicated. Special thanks to Brown Stone on main here in Columbus. They stayed open late, kept staff on, fed us some fabulous food and all for a very reasonable price. If you're ever in Columbus I recommend it whole heartedly. They were a gift from God.

This has been an amazing event, one I will never forget. But I'm ready to come home. I miss you all.

Peace

Saturday and I'm "famous"!

Wow.

One of my friends here tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the morning GC newspaper (Oh yes there is a daily paper put out AND a TV newscast.) Your humble servant was quoted on the front page! I mentioned how impressed I am with the movie "Traces of the Trade". I had made some comments in the Q and A after the showing and been interviewed by ENS. I had thought it was bound for the TV newscast (my hotel doesn't carry it so I don't know if I made that) but was quoted in the paper. Very cool.

Walking update - 16,352 steps. So again about 8 miles. Very good. Although I seem to have pulled a muscle in my right hip. Aleve seems to help. I put in 16,202 on Friday.

The schedule is starting to take it's toll on the GCOYP. They were getting snappish on Friday night. So I had the Wednesday night at camp talk. If you do camp you probably know what I'm talking about. Right around mid week the kids will get nuts, then get over it and everything will be good. Yesterday we ended up with a half an hour suddenly free. The House of Deputies were in "visiting guest speech mode" and the event we were supposed to be attending ended early! So we hung out at the Food Court and watched Team USA tie Italy 1-1 at the World Cup. It was very good for the group. Plus last night we went to the Hispanic festival event, lots of dancing and music. So I think it was a great day to help get everyone's head back on straight.

And for the record I did my white boy best to dance.

Big Eucharist yesterday. Two hours long with a 30-40 minute sermon by the Rev. Jenny Te Paa from New Zealand. It was very good even with the length. Not sure the conservative brothers and sisters would be thrilled with the message of inclusivness and against "breaking up" the church. Music was very well done but "cathedral standard" to my ear. I really do miss the musical diversity of '03. Today is supposed to be a Jazz service so maybe I'll be happier.

Quiet day on the floor of Deputies. They did elect a new VP and it's another friend of mine! The Rev. Brian Prior is the Province VIII youth coordinator (and rector and former Exec. Council member. He's a big wheel) So that's really cool. Haven't seen him yet to kiss his ring or whatever one does for the veep. The youth are very excited about today because they are planning on speaking to a variety of issues.

Today they get their 15 minutes with the PB. That's always a cool moment. Last night was the special recognition night for ++Griswold. Bishops Rosskum and Curry (Hope I spelled both those names correctly!) were pretty funny playing Regis and Cathy Lee. Friends of the Groom were very funny as always. The four valedictory speeches in between? Yawn. But on the whole a pretty neat night.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.

Yr man at GC
Peace

Catching Up Part I

Sorry that I haven't blogged in a while but it has been BUSY! I'll break this into two entries so that you don't feel like you're trapped reading the whole thing.

First two things that need top of the list attention:

U2charist – This was an amazing service wrapped around the music of the Irish rock band U2. The liturgy is straight out of the BCP but music and videos are woven through out everything. Much like the Hip Hop Mass I saw at EYE last summer I wouldn't want a steady diet of it but it was an amazing, profound and spirit filled event. The crowd was surprisingly age diverse ranging from 2 year olds to a good many white haired elders of the community. And pretty much everyone seemed to have a good time. It ended with the Eucharist which was pretty cool as well. Sadly I got there late and missed Bishop Michael Curry preaching. Very upsetting. +Curry is worth listening to. I swear I'd listen to him read a shopping list.

Traces of the Trade – This is a powerful movie about a young Episcopal woman who discovers her families deep dark secret, that their wealth and standing is based on the slave trade. The documentary follows her and several of her relatives as they explore what that really means and what their ancestors (the largest slave traders in American history) did. There is still only a rough cut at the moment but it moved me to tears several times. Several of the folks in the film are here and were with us at the viewing. The final version should be available in the next year and I strongly urge everyone to see, to have their congregations see it, that everyone see it. I hope to use it as part of the diversity discussions we have at our camp program. Look for this title.

Oh update on my walking- Wednesday was 15,996 steps so that was about 8 miles. Yesterday was my day as group “leader” (we rotate this “honor”) so I had to do a bit more sitting so I only logged 15,148 steps or about 7.5 miles. I'm getting my workouts in.

Worship notes – The worship has been good. Readings are done in a variety of languages (with written translations) So far it's been English, Spanish, Italian and Japanese (I think) along with the sign language. I love watching the readings being signed. The music has not been as adventurous as three years ago. The woodwind trio yesterday (or Weds?) was very nice and we've gotten a little bit from Sandra Montes who has one of God's really great voices doing some Spanish language songs. There's a band from Hispanic ministries that usually greets us at the door to the Convention center each morning. That'll get your blood flowing.

Voting remotes - I've noted before that the deputies are having trouble with the electronic voting “doo hickeys” (that was the term one of the deputies used) Other terms include TV remote and automatic garage door opener. The latest report from the dais is that the deputies are actually getting it right about 98% of the time. Early on though people were making multiple mistakes. It has been suggested (by some very cynical person...who could that be?) that we should move to a Quaker model. Ten days of silence.

Dispatch of Business – That's a person, in this case a man named Gregory Straub. Greg is the archetypal old line Episcopalian. Tall, silver hair, deep voice with just a touch of Oxford to it and dry, dry, dry humor. A deputy had inquired as to what happened to the money placed in the UTO boxes each day, since they were empty each morning. When Greg supplied the answer the following day he made some reference to “evil tooth fairies” who might be making off with the funds. Turns out that there are properly “deputed people” (his words) who are clearing the boxes.

OK,that's enough for part one. I'll give you the rest in part two (below)

Yr man at GC
Peace

Catching up Part II

Ok let's get this caught up.

It was great looking up at the pulpit the other day and seeing a friend preaching to GC. Not just someone I know but someone I truly call my friend. Miguelina D'Espina is a priest from the Dominican and a former provincial youth ministry coordinator. She is a wonderful person and deep in her faith. And she fired up for her sermon! It was fabulous. The other sermons have been good but it's just so wonderful to hear someone you care for speaking to the entire church.

Speaking of speeches - the young people have been doing a great job addressing various bodies here at GC. Alexa from the Dominican addressed ECW, David from SE Florida addressed the Bishops (second GC in a row that a young man from that diocese has addressed the Bishops!) Jessica from Central PA addressed the Deputies and Ernie from N. Dakota addressed the UTO dinner. Great reviews on all of them. It's amazing the insight that they've found.

Funding priorities gave a bit of a fight. Youth had been given the #1 spot last time and had dropped to #2 this time behind Peace and Justice. So the battle began, youth, Peace and Justice, or Evangelism/Reconciliation. Round and round and round. I can't argue with any of them and actually the theologically based arguments for Evang/Reconc were fairly convincing. But the Roberts Rules circus was in full flight. In the end nothing changed. For the youth ministry we just hope that the needed funding is still there.

Lots of folks from WNY here, visiting, volunteering, attending various other related events (like E3 for youth Deacon Cathy Basile and Ryan Cinque from my home congregation of St. Luke's are here) and a bunch of folks from all over Province II as well. Oh and maybe we'll get a real insider working in youth ministry in the Province. Don Carlson from CNY is running for Executive Council! Yes, I'm having LOTS of fun yanking his chain about that!

I'm working on about 6 hours of sleep a night so my tail is really dragging. Yesterday was my day in charge so I was on the bounce from 6 AM till 11:30 PM. I'm glad someone else is in charge today.

Tonight the youth are meeting with the previous Official Youth Presence. A LOT of that group were elected as deputies or alternates this time. It's great to see more young people moving into leadership roles.

OK that's most of the news from here. I'm seeing lots of folks I've met before and lots of friends. I bought a present for my lady wife but she may check in here so I can't tell you what it is. But it's something beautiful for a beautiful lady.

Put one in the books

Steps total for Tuesday - 17,992 (almost 9 miles)

Yesterday was mostly about getting your feet under you. Lots of adjustments to make. There's a new computerized voting system that is giving folks some fits. I must confess to making a rather unkind comment. Given the average age of deputies I suggested they should have brought along a grandchild to help them with their technology problems.

I know, I'm bad. Mea culpa.

Wandered in the exhibition hall. Several hundred vendors there, everything from church bells to Amish fudge. Don't ask me why. Biggest problem? Not walking into someone while you're trying to look in all four directions at the same time!

The Archbishop of York addressed the House. He was very funny and very on point. He brought along a message from the Archbishop of Canterbury. Most of which was pretty perfunctory. One line jumped out at me where the ABC said that the Windsor report is not the end of the line or process. Interesting.

USA Today had a big article about us and the Presbyterian (also in convention right now). As usual they made it sound as if the ONLY thing going on were issues of sexuality. Stupid.

Longest discussion was on whether to send a resolution back to committee. Took over a half an hour. Wasn't even a terribly important one, mostly about future consideration of topics.

Great line - The deputies hadn't used their electronic voting stuff for a while so the person in charge of voting told them (direct quote) Since your keypads have been resting, let's wake them up"

My "best" moment? I'm trying to use my VERY limited spanish with our spanish speaking young people. While trying to explain feta cheese at dinner I glitched and instead of saying the spanish word for "goat" I ended up with "snake". The look I got from the young lady was priceless. Generally regarded as the high moment of the day by the Youth Presence.

At least I'm good for comic relief.

Our days begin by leaving the hotel at 6:45 AM so the youth can get to committee meetings and sign up to speak. We ended last night at 11:30.

This is going to be a LOOOOONG convention.

I've included the link to the GC news website in the title.

Peace

And we're here!

Regular readers here will know that I often have travel "adventures". I'm happy to report that it was very boring flying in to Columbus. It was two of the little planes that my dad used to refer to as "puddle jumpers", including one with propellers! But no big adventures.

Was interesting when I checked in as the USAirways agent noted I was from the southern tier and began to quiz me about how difficult it was to get from Buffalo to Jamestown. Seems she has relatives down there (Hello Panebiancos!) and didn't visit them because she was afraid she'd get lost. I reassured her that it was dead simple. So maybe I helped get some family together.

Speaking of family leaving yesterday carried a little bit of heaviness for me. First because my cousin Scott died of a heart attack late last week. Scott was a cousin that I'd really gotten to know and like as an adult over the last 10 years or so (I'm the oldest in my generation so I was "grown up" while a lot of my cousins were still kids). Scott was a good guy struggling with some hard times. His death was a shock. It was an additional shock knowing that I'd almost certainly miss his funeral. Please pray for his family.

It's also tough because yesterday was my wedding anniversary, our 24th. I'm blessed to be married to one of God's best example of womanhood. My lady wife is truly amazing and has supported me in my previous career and in my ministry today. I can't imagine what life would be like without her. I love you beautiful.

Yesterday was mostly a setting up day, not much exciting. The youth are already at their first committee meetings as I write this (7:30AM). That will set the pattern for the rest of the convention. We try to wrap up the day by 10:30 and lights out at 11. Still a LONG day.

Oh and to start the "walking" total I walked 8,211 steps yesterday or just over 4 miles. That's a pretty normal day for me so we'll see how today goes.

Your man at GC

Closer and closer

Well I'm into my usual pre-trip frenzy. Trying to remember to pack everything, what do I need, how many? I'll pack and unpack at least once.

I took my own advice and went back and looked at the posts from last time. Among the notes was that I averaged about 8 miles a day in Minneapolis. That would be 16,000 steps! We'll see how I do. My hotel is a little way away from the Convention Center so I'll get a minimum amount of walking in any way.

Back to being the White Rabbit...

Peace

And we're off!

Like a couple thousand others I will be in Columbus Ohio starting on Monday for the General Convention of the Domestic and Foreign Missionary Society of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States. Or just The Episcopal Church (TEC). I'm not a deputy but will be there as the Province II youth ministry coordinator, working with a group of 18 young people who will be the voice for their age group to the convention. They are an amazing group of young people and it's always a blast to work with them.

It is my plan to update this blog at least every other day, and hopefully EVERY day with my observations of what the GC is like. I might even try a photo or two. Plus I will be logging my steps each day. I use a step meter (which measures steps rather than distance as a pedometer does) as part of a somewhat successful get in shape plan. Approximately 2000 steps equals a mile (I average about 5000 a day normally over a week) So we'll see how much ground I cover.

If you have questions post them in the comment section or email me and I'll answer them if and as I can.

General Convention is an absolutely amazing event, both good and bad. It's part business meeting, floor fight, family reunion, and act of worship (liturgical and praxis) I won't even pretend that I'm an "insider" or "mover and shaker" in our denomination. I'm a youth minister from a small diocese in WNY. What I hope to offer is more of an every day guy look at this event.

This blog actually started as a way to do the same thing at our last GC. You may want to sift back into the archives to check out my impressions from that time in Minneapolis. I think this year's posts will be different since I have some idea of what to expect.

Please pray for our church, the young people and yr humble srvnt,

Peace

Life is like Math class

This is my June column for our diocesan newspaper "ChurchActs".


I still feel sorry for my math teachers. How shall I put it? I was not a gifted math student. In fact I had to struggle every year right into college with math. Eventually I got it to the point that I passed all of those classes but it took lots of work. I had to go over things and over things and over them again. It must have been frustrating at times for those teachers.
As I read the Gospels I'm sure that Jesus must have the same feelings. How many times does he have to explain something over and over to his disciples? How many times does he realize that that they STILL don't get it? It must have been hard on the disciples as well thinking that they've finally “gotten it” only to have Jesus take them back over it again.
In the end that's a reassuring thing for me though. Because Jesus DOES go back over it with them. He tries to find new ways to explain the same concepts And he never gets fed up and just orders them away. His greatest concern seems to be not that they need things repeatedly explained but rather that he only has so much time to try and get the concepts across. There aren't years and years and years of time to work it all out. In the end he knows that he can't finish the work and that there will still be learning for his disciples to do after he is gone from this world. They'll stumble and struggle and work their way toward the lesson all their lives. Along the way they'll have to repeat lessons over and over again with the folks that will come after them. It's a never ending cycle.
And that is the good news. We live in an age that wants certainty. Answers should be clear and concise. Everything needs to be fast and bite sized and not take up too much of our time. Unfortunately I don't think that's what the Gospels teach us is going to happen. We should expect a long process of learning, we should expect that we're going to get some of it wrong and that we'll have to set aside our easy answers for more hard questions. Out of that uncertainty we will be required to allow a little extra room for the others that are trying to follow the same path. What may look like a swerve off course may turn out to be the next turn that we needed to take.
In our national life and our faith life we meet lots of people who have decided that they've “got it”, that they've nailed it completely. I'm willing to grant that it might even be possible but the history of humanity argues against it. Too many times we've declared that we know all there is to know on some subject only to have it thrown back into our faces. That desire for certainty comes very often from our need to order our world the way we want it. The recurring lesson of the Gospel is that we need to be open to how God has chosen to order the world.
As we head into the summer take a moment to remember whatever subject you struggle with, where you have to go over and over till you “get it”. Remember that God is patient and is willing to work with you till you get it. Then transfer that patience to folks all around you. They're struggling just like you trying to figure out how they are supposed to live their lives.
I never thought I'd say it, but life is just like math class.

Peace

Gman's Memorial day weekend Qs

Feeling like I'm gettin' called out on this weeks questions so here we go. You'll find G-man's answers through the link in the title.

"Wherefore comfort one another with these words" - 1 Thess. 4:18

1. How are you comforting one another?
Call it a ministry of presence. I'm just trying to be there for some folks.

2. What does your Youth ministry do in the summer?
When I was still doing congregational stuff we took the summer off mostly. One event a month, something fun - go canoeing, hit the amusement park, etc. Now it's CAMP TIME!!!!!!!

3. How far in advance do you plan?
Not nearly far enough. I'm trying to get at least 6 months ahead. We can usually lay out the rough dates for a program year.

4. What is something frustrating for you this week?
My ongoing struggles with my mother's estate. Don't even get me started.

5. What is something encouraging for you this week?
Spent some time meeting with various folks at the diocese and came away encouraged with their ideas and support for youth ministry.

6. How are you spiritually?
Ummmmm, not where I'd like to be. Just kind of marking time.

7. What are you watching on TV?
Season finales and series finales for West Wing, ER, Numbers, Two and a Half Men, all the CSI's, etc


A. Prayer - Watch over my friend Lee who is struggling mightily with serious problems
B. Praise - I'll say it again, you did great work with the lady in my life!
C. Other - As my church heads into our national convention be with us.

Copyright 2006. Gerrard R. Fess. Permission to pass everywhere. Especially those
thinking the Sabres-Canes series is going to be a long one. (That would be me! Go Sabres!)

Peace

As promised...and late

I promised that I'd share my thoughts on the movie "The Da Vinci Code" after seeing it last weekend and one thing after another has gotten in the way. So here are my quick thoughts on the movie, as both a movie lover and youth minister.

As a Movie - I really enjoyed the movie. My feeling was that the tempo was a little slow but given the amount of explaining that had to be done that may be impossible to avoid. There's a lot of folks who claim that if you didn't read the book you won't understand the film and I think that's nonsense. I read the book and got confused in a couple of places. If you have to understand everything about a movie you watch take a friend who's read the book or read it yourself (it's a quick read). Or just shrug off the stuff you don't understand and follow the action. It's a fun movie and I'd certainly recommend it.

As Theology/History - It is an enormous load of you know what. The history is suspect, the whole conspiracy is based on an exposed fraud (the dossiers secrete which is the "proof" of the Priory). Could Jesus have been in love and even married Mary Magdalene? Sure. Is there ANY substantial proof of it? None that either the book or the movie can show you. It's all based on coulda/woulda/shouldas. Ten minutes on Google will clear up most of the "revelations". Nothing to get excited about. Are there legitimate questions about the treatment of women by the church and in the church? Of course there are. My real question is IF the "Holy Grail" is in fact Jesus' bloodline, what the heck are they waiting for?

A threat to the Faith - Well given that I think this is an enormous bucket of drivel I'm astounded that anyone's faith might be affected by this. If this tips you over then your faith was mighty thin. And if the church can't easily answer the questions raised by the book/movie then we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. A little less panic, a little more thoughtful teaching please.

A threat to the Roman Catholic church and Opus Dei - More much ado about nothing in my opinion. In both cases we're shown that it's a small band of renegades within the structure of the church (and without) that are responsible. They even acknowledge that they'd be in big trouble if they got caught. As for the historical failures of the church in Rome those are well documented. Given that every other denomination has it own share of black eyes and shortcomings I think it best if we attend to our own planks. While I have disagreements with both the RCC and OD I think they could unruffle their feathers over this rather lightweight jab in their direction as well.

So bottom line? Good movie for entertainment, good movie for DISCUSSING the faith issues raised, bad movie if you're an uptight person of faith who's positive everyone is out to get you. My advice? Unclench your cheeks, buy an extra large popcorn and have some fun.

Peace

From Gman

Gman is right on the money with this one. You can check out his blog with the link on the right here. I'm quoting today's posting in its entirety because you need to see it all. Sounds like my kinda book too.

Don't Rock the Boat.

In Rick Bundschuh's book, Don't Rock the Boat, Capsize It, he writes the following on page 56:

"Give a cat enough bowls of milk, diversion, and careful petting, and sooner or later that independent feline comes and jumps into your lap, plays with you without breaking your skin with its teeth -- or even goes far as to give you a lick of love.

I have to admit that cat herding can be frustrating. The floating, low commitment level of many people entering the community of faith is a terrible commentary of what our culture has produced. It plays havoc with decency and order. And those with feline tendencies will find that God is out to change them in a serious way ....

I've come to the conclusion that assuming the church is full of people waiting eagerly to be guided toward godliness is a load of crock. This is the desire of some, to be sure, but the vast majority of folks are a complicated tangle of spiritual and carnal desires, hurt, insecurity, ignorance, misconstrued priorities, and pride. .....

Sometimes we have to learn the hard way about herding our cats. We have misread or presumed our congregation and launched some Bible study or church ministry that bombed.

If we were leading sheep it would be easy to get bitter and start talking to ourselves in the 'I work hard to give these ungrateful folks what they need to grow spiritually and they can't even commit to one evening a week to attend a home Bible study' mode. But when we came to realize we were leading cats, we just figured that we would have to rethink the whole way of doing church."

Man, this hit me hard. It is where our church is at. Rethinking. Trying to seek and be connected to the vine. Herding cats.

Rick's book is a must read for anyone who loves the church, and doesn't want to leave it in her current status.

Peace

The Visitors Center

I tend to write primarily with Episcopalians in mind. That's probably short sighted on my part but I've never been a member of any other denomination (although I'm working with some ELCA congregations right now). I think in terms of the church I grew up in and continue to be a member of today. As I've spent more time meeting youth ministers from other denominations I realize that not everyone thinks the way I do (GASP!) or even understands where I'm coming from.

So I'm happy to include a link to The Visitors' Center at the home page of my denomination. It's a good place to get started with who we are and what we believe and even how to find the closest Episcopal church near you. If you're so inclined. The link is in the title to this post.

Also at the center is the results of a poll they did of Episcopalians about the most "notable" Episcopalians/Anglicans. You can find the results here. I've added my two cents already and invite you to do likewise.

The only one I had any problem with is Henry VIII who is commonly held to have "founded" the Anglican church. I think a closer reading of history would show that Henry would find that conclusion rather surprising. Henry had great energy for burning and hanging Reformation types in England, both before and after the annulment of his first wife.

But that's one of my pet hobby horses.

Peace

Da Vinci Code

I'm looking forward to this weekend since I hope to see the movie. I enjoyed the book. Yeah I know, that's going to make some folks nervous. I didn't believe the book and even a little bit of research shows what a bunch of malarky it is. But it's FICTION! I thought it was a fun, Saturday afternoon with nothing to do kind of a read.

Of course I've just been scanning some reviews of the movie and they're running about 2-1 that it's a bad movie. Not theologically bad (which it certainly is) but that it's just a BAD movie. Best critique I read was "Welcome to the 2006 Ishtar"

Ishtar is probably the worst movie I ever watched. It's the only one that I stopped in mid viewing and never finished. Horrible.

So after I see it, I'll let you know.

peace

A dreaded day passes without incident

Had one of those days I dread. Time for a physical. Since I'm just a little bit of a hypochondriac (don't tell me the symptoms of some new disease!) I always worry when the doctor mumbles to themselves and marks thing down on the paper. I'm always certain that they're thinking "Wow, I've never heard on do THAT before!", or "Well, THAT'S not good". Plus I got hooked up to an EKG machine. Being connected to medical electronics is never a good thing. Plus the usual poking and prodding and peering....


And I'm fine. Heck my new doctor called me "normal". She's new, she'll learn differently!

So other than my good cholesterol being a little low and my blood sugar being a little high (neither of them serious, just need to be watched) I'm the picture of health for a slightly overweight middle aged guy.

Life is good.

Peace

Things I think I think

I stole the title from a columnist somewhere. I don't remember who any more. But I always loved that title and the columns that came with it. Just some free association:

Sometimes I take this whole "lay minister" thing a shade too seriously.
I was a radio DJ for 19.5 years and a college DJ for 2 years before that. I love music. But I'm not a big fan of contemporary Christian music. While the musicianship has gone up dramatically over the last 30 years too much of it strikes me as fawning and precious. But I'm a minister! That's serious stuff, so I should only have serious music in my office. While I love classical music it's not what I want playing when I'm writing or working around the office. So I've largely gone without music here in my little office for the last five years. And it has been a colossal drag.
So I'm experimenting with some online radio stations, trying to find someplace that I can sample all the different kinds of tunes I enjoy. To be honest I'm finding a lot of them annoying. I'll keep looking so I can find something that I can play in the background of whatever other work I'm doing on the computer.

It's hard being a Pittsburgh sports fan right now
Yeah, I'm well aware that the Steelers won the Super Bowl this year. But as a died in the wool Black and Gold fan it's hard to watch the Penguins and Pirates just be so very very awful. Thank God I've become a Buffalo fan too so I have the Sabres to root for right now.

I keep forgetting how hard change is
I have several changes going on in my life both personally and professionally. What I'd really like is for the change to just happen, thank you very freaking much, and get over it. What happens in real life is that it drags on and insists on getting complicated and just is never easy. I need to remember this the next time I want to bloviate about how the older generation keeps dragging their feet over changes in the church. Easy to be brave when it's not your life being changed.

I'm very excited and very worried about General Convention
I will be there again in an observers role, as I was three years ago. I'm excited about the amazing experience and the good things that will come from this meeting. I'm also concerned that we may dither on the controversial subjects rather than simply and humbly say "We're sorry that you're offended but we believe this is where we are led to be". I grow weary of both sides who stopped listening long ago. It's time to put up or shut up. I'm also coming to the conclusion that there should be a remodelling of GC altogether. As wonderful as it is, it is also a massive bloated monster in so many ways.

I think that's enough.
peace

On Mother's Day

I suppose I need to deal with this.

The day after tomorrow is Mother's Day. The first one without my mother.

All the advertising and "Make sure you get something for Mom" messages are really starting to bug me. I want to yell at the TV "I would if I could you jerk! Now buzz off and leave me alone"

Part of it was the typical "I should have done more when she was alive". That's pointless for two reasons. First because history is history and no amount of wishing can change that. I did what I did (and didn't). That chapter is closed. Khalil Gibran wrote:

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on; nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it."


The second point is that while I wasn't the perfect son I did OK. We talked on a regular basis. When she needed me I was there. Like the woman in the Gospel I think it can be said of me "He did the best he can". I have to hope that's true because I don't get the chance to improve.

Both of my parents are gone (my father's final illness actually began on Father's Day). I've thought about how to remember them. Both of them would want me to remember them by how I live my life, to be the person they raised me to be. I shall do everything in my power to do just that. But I need to set a day aside when I shall remember them and hold their memories close. Many people would choose the dates of their birth or their death. Their deaths are not what I want to remember and their births are at opposite ends of the year. I could choose Mother's Day or Father's Day. But Father's Day especially will never be the same for me. Certainly not the day to remember my dad.

And so I chose the day that they chose. At the beginning of February, a day in 1956 when the snows fell onto the uniform of a young Navy officer and the dress of his bride. The day my family began, their wedding anniversary.

It means I have to wait almost a year. That's fine. They're worth the wait.

Now the burden of Mother's Day doesn't seem quite so heavy.

Peace

But then we already knew this...

Offered without further comment:

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

And there was much lamenting...

The big news in YM this week is the sale of Youth Specialties to the folks at Zondervan. If you've talked to me about resources for youth ministry you've heard me talk about YS. I don't work for them (although I did serve as a moderator on their forums prior to the forums going on hiatus. For that I got the occasional small gift) and I don't get a percentage for any sales that come from my recommendation. I recommend them because I like their stuff and use it. Mike Yaconelli's books have been a GREAT inspiration to me over the last couple years, not only in youth ministry but in my faith life. I got to meet Mike once and shake his hand. It's a special moment for me.
So what's all the hoohoo about? Well, YS has always had a feel of a free wheeling, let's see where the Spirit takes us kind of organization. They have to have had some basic good business practices to stay in business as long as they have and still put on some major events. So that "Hey kids, let's put on a show" feeling is probably a certain amount perception rather than completely true. The bottom line is this:

YS has done some good stuff over the years.
They were attractive enough to tempt Zondervan to spend some cold hard cash on them.
Zondervan wants them to succeed.
And so do we.

So I'm still firmly in the YS camp (I'm not a fanatic. I also use and recommend stuff from Group and several other places). I look forward to what may develop out of being part of an org with slightly deeper pockets.

And I think we all need to take a breath. Even if YS disappeared tomorrow we'd have the wisdom that has grown under their stewardship to carry with us into the future.

Based on what I've read by Yac, I think he'd advise some of us to chill.

Peace

With New Eyes

This is my column from the May issue of ChurchActs, our diocesan newspaper

I had an interesting experience the other day. I was driving down the road to Jamestown, a road I have driven for about 30 years. At one corner along the way I suddenly realized that I had never noticed a certain building there before. In my defense the building is set back off the road a little way. At the same time it's a medium sized two story barn! I have no memory of that barn. I find it hard to believe that I never look that direction every time I drive by. So I must have seen it but it just never registered before.
As I continued on my drive I thought about that barn. And then I thought about young people (bet that comes as a big surprise!). Have you ever felt like your life was like that barn? Ever felt like everyone's driving by and not paying you any attention at all? There were certainly times when I was in high school when that was true. I wasn't the smartest kid in school, I wasn't an athlete, I wasn't the most gifted performer in the school musicals and I was a loooooong way from being the most popular person in my school. There were times when it felt pretty awful, being that barn.
But there's not really a whole lot the barn can do about it, is there? You can wish you were bigger barn, a more attractive barn, a flashier barn, that you were a little closer to the road or maybe even on a better road. Or what if you hadn't been created a barn at all? Why couldn't you have been made a house, or a mansion or City Hall? Of course that's not the way it works out. In the end we all have to be the barn we were created to be.
Okay, I'll stop with the barn metaphor.
Because I really want to talk about the folks who drive by and don't notice. How many people are there in your life? I'll bet you just added up your family, friends, some teachers and maybe a few others. Is that really all the people in your life or did you just count the people that you want in your life (or with whom you're stuck, like brothers and sisters)? The reality is that all of us have many more people in our lives than we think. How many of them do we just cruise by each day without a second thought? How many people do you cruise by every day in the hallway at school and never even notice? If they disappeared tomorrow would you even notice? Our faith calls us to not only notice those people but to make sure that they're Okay too. Jesus talks repeatedly about caring for the poor and the weak and the suffering. When we choose to ignore, or even worse put down, someone we're not helping them and we're increasing their suffering.
Now it would be easy to think that I'm really aiming this at the group that my daughter refers to as “The Populars”. You know the supposed cream of high school society. In reality this applies to everyone whether you're one of the “cool kids” or not. Every one in your life is in your care at least a little bit. It's amazing how something simple like a smile and a “Hi” can make all the difference in the world. Sometimes it's surprising who needs that little extra help too.
Our call to faith involves everyone around us. It calls us to help those who need help. At a more fundamental level I think it calls us to pay attention. How will we know if someone needs help if we just zoom right past them.
How many people are there in your life that are just barns you zoom by? How many people suffer needlessly because we go by heedlessly? Use your eyes as instruments of your faith and see how many “new” barns you discover.

Peace

Thoughts on the Bible

Real Live Preacher is one of my favorite blogs. He recently posted an entry concerning the Bible that I think is worth reading.

Dear RLP

Peace