Life Doesn't End at 18

This is my column in the April issue of ChurchActs, the diocesan newspaper. If you're wondering whatever become of March's column so am I. Can't find it anywhere.

Over the last six years I can't count how many times I've said something like “This generation is the busiest/most heavily scheduled in the history of mankind”. Then I'd go on to make some profound point about the importance of youth ministry. The other day it dawned on me. By simply accepting that point, shrugging my shoulders and moving on I was part of the problem. That's not right. Somebody needs to stand and up, speak out and fight back. And I'm just the guy to do it. So here goes:

LIFE DOESN'T END AT 18!
So stop living like it does

I'm astounded at how much “stuff” seems to get crammed into the first 18 years of your lives. The underlying logic seems to be that you better do it now because you'll never get the chance again. Say WHAT?!? Are you really comfortable with the idea that all the rest of your life is going to be so busy, so overwhelmed that you will never have the chance to do things that might be fun? You have to do all the fun things now because adult life is just one long hard drag from high school to the grave. Yee Haw, let the party begin!
I'm not going to tell you that being an adult doesn't come with more responsibility and more claims on your time. At the same time it's also a wonderful time with responsibilities (like being a parent) that can be more fun than any theme park, game console or concert. In some ways it's the best part of life I think. The other side of that coin is that childhood and your teen years are the last time that you DON'T have all those responsibilities. It's a time when you can relax, enjoy and have a special kind of freedom.
Unless your schedule bulges like a water balloon about to burst. Think about it this way – one of the things you are supposed to be doing as a teenager is getting ready to be an adult. So what is this lifestyle training you to do? To be on the go 27 hours a day, with an activity scheduled for every waking minute. Is that really the best that the world has to offer you? I don't think so. That's why I want you to stop.
There is one other way that I've seen this lifestyle have an effect. In the last two years I've had young people say something to me that even I have trouble fathoming. I've received complaints that during youth ministry events we haven't told them what to do or had something planned for them at all times. That's right they've been complaining to me about that dreaded concept - “Free Time”. Now before the parents start getting twitchy thinking we leave your children wandering around for extended periods of time without supervision let me reassure you. Your young people are cared for and watched over when they're at camp or Happening or other youth events. The most recent complaint was about an amount of free time that was astounding to me, one hour. They got one hour of free time to hang around, talk with their friends, play games, read a book, listen to their tunes, whatever. Quite simply most of the young people (high school aged I note) had no idea what to do with themselves. To be honest that scares me. Free time is one of the most precious concepts I have as an adult. Time just for me, or for me and God or for me and my wife or daughter, or my friends, or just some QUIET! It's a gift it seems to me. But it appears to be a gift that too many of our young people neither understand nor desire.
So here's my advice to my young brothers and sisters (and the adults who love and care for them). Give it a rest. Take a serious look at that planner. Make some serious decisions about what's really important. My prayer is that Faith and Family and Friends will get high priority. Add in school and then see how much time is left. Figure out what fits and then do something radical. Dump everything else. Walk away from it. Yes, there'll be some weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth about the effect on the “program”.
I don't care.
I care much more about the effect on you.

Peace

Jesus may have walked on .....ICE!

The title has the link to the article.

Seems a scientist has determined that the Holy Land may have had an extended cool spell possibly during Jesus's lifetime and that temps might have dipped below freezing. This would explain how Jesus did something that's "impossible".

Sigh.

Even granting that the world's environment has gone through many swings (and may still be doing so with our without our help)here's a thought from a guy who lives where the snow is falling outside my office window EVEN AS I TYPE THESE WORDS!

In order for it to create ice thick enough to hold up a full grown person it has to stay cold enough to lower the overall temperature of the body of water, then stay there long enough to generate at least a couple inches of ice. And that means you have to stay COLD day and night. A 30 degree night followed by a 45-50 degree day grows you not a lot of ice my friend.

I just jumped across the web and checked modern day temps in Israel. Hard to find them in just the right part of the country but in Jerusalem the coldest month is January and the low is 39 the high is 53. Even if the temperature change was a ten degree drop (and that's a HUGE climatic change) I don't see you generating enough ice to walk on.

But hey I'm just a youth minister from the frozen north...

Peace

Juror #129

Was not required today. So I STILL have never actually been to a jury call or served on one.

SIGH.

Had my first weigh in for the fitness program I'm signed up for. (You know a fitness program should be a standard benefit for all youth workers over the age of 30. You gotta have help fighting those pizza pounds!)

After one week (of admittedly very little actual working out) I lost


Dah dah dah daaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.........


Two tenths of a pound! Yep that's a whole .2 Not quite a quarter pounder. At this rate it will take me about, oh just shy of three years to lose the weight I want/need to drop.

Looks like I'm going to actually have to go in and work out. Some. More.

Peace

Too Funny

Thanks to Gman for this one:

Really Funny "Do You Speak English" Skit

VideoVat.com > GET AWESOME MYSPACE VIDEOS FREE!!

Webring update

You'll notice over on the right hand side not only do I list a couple of blogs but there's the links to the Youth Ministry web ring. I "manage" this ring (which means I do the paperwork. Why do I always end up with the paperwork?).
We're up to 36 active members and there are some great folks who have joined the ring. If you're interested in making connections with youth ministers from a wide variety of denominations and approaches, if you're looking for inspiration, ideas or just a laugh, you'll find it among those bloggers.

Please feel free to surf the ring and support my fellow YM bloggers.

Here at home a busy week again. Back from Binghamton (yay Province II) I've been to Buffalo once and have to go back again tonight (thank you Calvary Williamsville!) Plus did a quick report to my Lutheran brothers and sisters on the work they've called me to do.

And tomorrow I may get on a jury! I've been called and we'll see if they need me. I've actually never served on jury duty in my life so this will be interesting.

Peace

Gman again

yeah, he's got another list thing that struck me:

The Power of Four

Four jobs I've have had in my life:

1, Dishwasher
2. Bell Hop
3. Radio DJ
4. Muffin Baker

Four movies I would watch (and have watched) over and over:

1. The Big Chill
2. Casablanca
3. STar Wars
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Four places I have lived:

1. Gibsonia, PA
2. Jamestown, NY
3. Edinboro, PA
4. California, PA


Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. C.S.I.
2. West Wing
3. This Old House
4. Two and a Half Men

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Lake Tahoe, CA
2. Williamsburg VA
3. Gettsyburg, PA
4. Toronto, Ontario

Four websites I visit daily:

1. www.beliefnet.com
2. www.postgazette.com
3. http://pittsburgh.pirates.mlb.com
4. I went back and looked and there AREN'T four sites I visit every day.

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Italian
2. Chinese
3. Sandwiches
4. Chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. At home
2. With my wife, wherever
3. Pittsburgh, PA
4. Puerto Rico

Peace

And a little child...

Well I'm exhausted!

Three events in two days, two of them an hour and a half drive away on consecutive days. Saw the installation of our new cathedral dean and spoke with her briefly. Seems very nice and the congregation seems excited about having her as their spiritual leader. Then back home for an ice skating party on my Lutheran schedule (fairly successful I think). Then up bright and early for a presentation at a church in Buffalo, which also went very well. But a lot of driving (300-400 miles). I didn't wake up this morning till after 9!

But what really jumped out at me was the sermon yesterday. Deacon Edith Patterson preached on the feeding of the multitude and did what every preacher hopes they can do. She brought something to my attention that I had never noticed before. I doubt what I noted was on her radar as she prepared to preach (the whole sermon was very nice) but something struck me about that well known story that I had never thought about.

There's some discussion about what really happened at the time of this miracle. Out of all those thousands was there in fact only one person who had brought ANY food for the day? To many that seems unlikely and the miracle they believe was one where greedy folks who had in fact brought food, but had kept it to themselves the first time they were asked, eventually shared so that everyone ate. The traditional view is that the miracle was simply taking little and creating more.

But that's not the point of what struck me. Out of all that crowd of thousands, all those adults, only one person offered up what they had. It was a boy, a youth, a child. No matter how you choose to interpret the miracle think about this - one young person had that little bit of something (remember the "loaves" mentioned were probably the size of dinner rolls and the fish the size of sardines. Thanks Deacon Edith!)that was justifiably his. And he handed it over when the master asked. The adults were either too dumb to be prepared or too greedy to share.

I'm always looking for stories of young people in the scriptures. I've read this story probably 500 times in my life. Never saw that young man standing there.

And a child shall lead them.

Peace
JP

A Collect for Young Christians

(which could be used as a specific commissioning)

All-holy God, source of every blessing: We thank you for the mystery of transformation in body, mind and spirit that brings children to adulthood. We rejoice with you in the energy, imagination and truth-seeking that young people bring to your Church, challenging us all to grow into the full stature of Christ. Bless our youth [or, N. {and N…}] with courage and persistence as they offer their unique gifts in your service, and assist us who support them in the discernment of your will, that your Body may reflect the fullness of Incarnation to your honor and glory; through Jesus Christ, our Savior and guide. Amen.

My thanks to the Rev. Susan Anslow Williams for this.

Gman's questions

Every week my friend Gman offers a set of questions for youth ministers. You can check his blog through the link on the right. I've looked at the questions for a while now and this week I'll take them on.

Gs Q 4 YM

"The Lord is nigh unto all that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth." Psalm 145:18

1. What is on your "To Read" list? Oh Lordy where to begin? I have a stack of 11 books sitting here in my office that I'd like to read (and another stack of about 6 that are being considered, though not very hard) Plus I'd love to read something just for enjoyment and escapism. I'm currently reading "A Prayer for Owen Meany" which I've never read before.

2. Who is your favorite Cartoon character? Gotta be Calvin and Hobbes. Yes, I know that's TWO characters but they're inseperable. Close behind them is Opus.

3. What was the last thing you watched on TV? My lady wife starts her day with re-runs so I watch some with her. It's Buffy, then The Practice and if we are slow in the morning Spin City. Last night I watched a tape of the Formula One race in Malaysia, The West Wing and Crossing Jordan

4. What was something you got rejected about? The last role I auditioned for at the local community theater.

5. What is something you got accepted for? This job, for which I was largely unqualified.

6. What is something you are afraid of? Heights.

7. What is the hardest thing you have had to do this week? Travel a lot. I'm tired and just want to stay at home.

A. Prayer: Please be with my family as we continue to make our way through so many changes this year. That includes my wife, my daughter and my brothers.

B. Praise: Thank you for the special time my lady wife and I got to spend with each other over the weekend. You know how much better that made me feel!

C. Other: Help me get through all this buget paperwork that has suddenly decided to be a pain in my life again.

Copyright 2006. Gerrard R. Fess. Free to pass onto all those March Madness Fans.

I'm not a March Madness fan but I think Gerrard will give me a pass.
Peace

Oh and a momentous event

I almost forgot.

A momentous occasion took place at the airport. There is a little girl that I first met when her age was still computed in days or weeks I think. And since that day she has never had the time of day for me. Once she learned to speak her favorite words for me were "Stop!" and "No". The stop command was hysterical because she would put out her hand in the classic position, look me straight in the eye and say it very seriously. Other folks, even other males would get a hug or say hello, but never me. She'd take one look at me and say "No!". Never hysterical or fear reaction, just did not want me in her life.

Which made me kinda sad. Cause she a cute little tyke and I like her family a whole lot.

Well last night she said Hi, gave me a hug and even teased me a little. Not a Stop or No to be heard.

Almost made waiting in baggage claim feel good.

Thank you Willow.

Peace

And Back from Atlanta

Hmmm, had virtually no travel "adventures" this time. Felt kinda strange. Delta did annoy me a little though. I've gotten used to "jetway checking" my carry on bag. You get a neat little tag, they pick up your bag just before you get on and bring it back to the jetway at the other end. It allows me to avoid the baggage claim.

But not (apparently) on Delta. They will give you a tag BUT you then have to chase it down in the baggage area. Which was especially annoying since Buffalo was fogged in and outbound flights were being cancelled right and left. So all that baggage had to be sent back down for pick up. Plus to be honest the Delta employees in the terminal were rather abrupt. It wasn't that they were rude, it was more that you were keeping them from doing something "useful/important" Not the flight crew however. They were very nice. But Delta is NOT my carrier of choice at the moment.

The young people were fabulous! What a great group from Hawaii to the Dominican Republic. Articulate, intelligent and a lot of fun to hang out with. General Convention is a LOT of work for everyone. It helps when you have folks around you that you trust and enjoy. I think I'm going to enjoy this immensely. Then I'm going to be exhausted!

Well lots still to do.
Peace

Report from Atlanta

I'm in Atlanta for the weekend, working with an amazing group of young people. They are the General Convention Official Youth Presence. Two young people from each of the provinces chosen to bring the voice of young people to the highest councils of our church. I had the chance to work with a similar group of young people three years ago and the experience was just astounding. They were articulate voices for their age group and had a true effect on the conversations last time. As I get to know them better I'll share some of my thoughts with you.

I did have a truly wonderful experience when I arrived. At the Atlanta airport while I was waiting for some of the young people to arrive I sat in the large central waiting area. The Atlanta area has several military bases so you see a lot of military personnel in uniform in the airport. But four times a military unit would file through, some 50-100 men and women. When the units moved through everyone in the waiting area would begin to applaud. About 2/3s of us would also stand. The applause would continue until the last member of the unit passed through. I found myself moved deeply by the display. First because I'm the son of a Navy officer. He was on active duty the day I was born. The loneliness and pain of a military family, left behind while their loved one(s) are in harm's way have a special place in my heart.
The other reason is that I'm old enough to (just) remember the pain faced by the veterans returning from Viet Nam. What was done to the members of our armed forces at that time was a terrible, un-American act. It strikes to the very heart of the relationship between the nation and the military. And it's something that must never happen again.
What ever your opinion about the war may be we need to separate the policy from the troops. Those are citizen soldiers. Quite simply "they" are "us".
I was proud to applaud those soldiers. And I pray that every single one of them comes home to family and friends safely.

Peace

And quickly...

I have a new column to share with you as soon as I can get back to the computer on which I wrote it! It was created during my "exile" period and I forgot to copy it and bring it home. So probably next week.

In the meantime I'm off to Atlanta to work with the GCOYP. That's the General Convention Official Youth Presence, a group of young people chosen to bring a voice for their age group to Convention. They are given seat and voice so they can address the issues facing the church. I did this 3 years ago and it was an amazing experience with an incredible group of youth. My primary function (beyond serving as a stellar example of what NOT to do!) is teaching them how to deal with the media. Since I worked in radio for 19.5 years including stints as news person and talk show host and morning personality (can you imagine waking up to me?). So I get to tell them how to "deal" with the media. What are the secrets:
Never lie to them.
Give short answers.
Offering them food never hurts.
Ok the first two are serious the third only sorta. Most media folk aren't making the big bucks. It never hurts to have a media event and have some decent food just "lying around". Yes, it really can be that easy. Of course if you violate the first two rules the third one won't help. We can be swayed but not bought by food.

Looking forward to some warmer weather, looks like low 70s. Fun fun fun!
Peace

A New link

I've added a couple new links to other blogs along the side here.

The first is the new blog by Ryan Nielsen. Ryan is the long time web master of the Pastor2Youth Here. I've had a link to that site from my own website for several years now. Great resources, so I recommend you cruise on by if you haven't already.

As for the blog - check out the February 15 entry especially. Ryan's just getting started but I believe he'll be a worthy addition to your regular blog surfing.

The second is the blog of Mark Ostreicher, known affectionately to all and sundry as Marko. He's the current boss man at Youth Specialties but that's not why I've added him. He's smart, he's dedicated and he has a great sense of humor. Plus the only important thing - he's worth reading.

Peace

An Arrogant Christianity

I was walking through a parking lot the other day when a bumper sticker caught my eye. For reasons I can't explain I've been a bumper sticker fan most of my life. This despite the fact that I don't like having them on my own car. The only one I've had read "If you love Jesus, TITHE, anyone can honk".

Anyway.

This one made me equal parts angry and sad. It read:

Try Jesus, if you don't like Him you can always go back to Satan

I literally stopped and went back to make sure I had read it right. My first impulse as a person of faith was to scrape the bumper sticker off or disfigure it so that no one else would have to look at it. Then I was overwhelmed at the sadness that some person thought this was a form of evangelization. That it represents the Gospel or God.

It is the overwhelming arrogance of the statement. The underlying message is "I'm going to Heaven and you're going to Hell. Nyah!" I'm always appalled at folks who seem to revel in pointing out who's "going to Hell". It's arrogant to think we know or have any business making such judgements. For that matter it's arrogant to automatically assume that any of us are going to Heaven. Yes I believe in the grace of a forgiving God. But grace by definition is something unearned and therefore we have no right to declare ourselves saved. That we have hope of salvation, yes. That we should start getting fitted for our halos? Arrogance.

Even beyond that how can any of us so blithely just dismiss one of God's children this way? The only responsible reaction to a person who chooses to turn away should be mourning tempered by a determination to work harder to assist in revealing God to them.

If we believe that we are judged by how we live our lives, how we represent a life in faith in this world, by the fruits of our faith how can we not be outraged at the sentiment of this bumper sticker?

This is not what we are called to be or do or say.

Peace

Another day

I posted yesterday and promptly started feeling guilty.

"You're such a whiner" ran my thoughts. "You know, SOME people have REAL problems in their lives" was also pitched in. I was raised to feel that you took care of your own troubles and you didn't talk about them. Suck it up and move on.

I've come to realize what a stupid way to go through life that is. It's probably why so many men in my family have died relatively young.

All those problems from yesterday exist. They are a burden to me that feels like it could break my back some days. But it hasn't so far.

Today I got a nice note from a friend encouraging me (you know who you are, even if I don't), I got an encouraging e-mail from a congregation excited about having me come out and help them, I had a good meeting with someone who is "journey-ing" with me from my congregation and I had a great Greek lunch with a group of friends.

I also had an eight year old look at me and say "You look tired".

So the bad stuff must be real, but I'm feeling better and stronger today. And that's all I really need for the moment. To pick up my burdens and move on.

Peace

Oddness Murray Oddness.

The title of this entry is a line from the play "Thousand Clowns" by Herb Gardner. A show I did years ago and this line just found a place in my life. It's the perfect summation of how I've been feeling recently.

Which reminds me. If you're wondering about the oboe reference in the last post, I had included one of those little online tests. This one was for what orchestra instrument are you? Unfortunately I could never get the coding to work so I dropped it. And forgot about changing the title. I think I'm going to leave it as a representation of the anarchy that threatens to break out in my life.

I'm really coming up fast on a crossroads in my life. In the best of all possible worlds I wouldn't have to make a choice. But it seems pretty clear right now that staying on the current route is going to slam me right into a wall. It's the bits and pieces I've mentioned over the past couple months:

My mom's death;
My wife's ongoing illnesses tagged with her first surgery (about which we have some small worries that may be nothing);
Having my primary job reduced to 80% of full time so that...
I have to get a second job (and the related issues that I want to go whole hog on a job, which is darned tough to do on two fronts);
ongoing funding issues (no longer immediate problems but long term challenges that require here and now commitments of my time);
I talked with one of my brothers and he's having some undisclosed problem too (and I want to help him but I'm stretched close to my limits as it is. So what do I do?);
plus the every day stuff like my own health (I weigh too damn much), my daughter graduating from high school, paying bills, an unexpected tax bill (which we can pay but will wipe out our savings)etc...

It's just tiring, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I told my lady wife this morning that I'm beginning to wonder if my parents made the right choice for the executor of their estates. I don't feel like I'm handling this at all competently (I haven't screwed anything up. At least not yet. But it's been close. And there's tax time hanging over my head.)

I can tell when things start overwhelming me. My usual borderline orderliness goes straight over the edge. Papers begin to pile up, things start getting misplaced and occasionally lost. The very thought of even trying to dig my way out is so overwhelming that I can't bring myself to even try. Today was a good day, I sat down and forced myself through the filing and throwing away. Now I'm certain that I'm missing two pieces of paper. One's important, the other one isn't. I've taken steps to replace the unimportant one and think I know what to do about the other.

You know what a koosh ball is? They were all the rage about ten years(?) ago. They look like balls made entirely of rubber bands. Right now I feel like a koosh ball that has someone pulling on every single rubber band, in completely different directions. What happens is that the ball is under maximum stress but can't move in any direction because of the equal pull in ALL directions.

To be perfectly honest the feeling sucks.

So soon I'll have to make some decisions. Decisions about giving up ministries that I love and that have been very good for me. But they take me away and chew up time that I'm not sure I have to invest any more. I may have to make some decisions that will hurt/offend family members in order to get things moving because I can't emotionally deal with letting them slide any more. I have to commit to investing more of my time and energy into things that are "job" rather than "ministry" or "passion". There's not anything wrong with those things but they don't excite me and I don't believe they play to my strengths.

I have a couple of really cool blog entries I want to share but I don't feel like I have the time. Like the White Rabbit in Wonderland it's "So little time so much to do".

Yet the people around me seem to think I'm doing a fine job.

Oddness Murray, oddness.

Peace

I am an.....Oboe?

My apologies for the long interval here. With my lady wife recovering from a total hip replacement my life is totally up in the air. She's doing fabulously well but we're temporarily living in a different house so nothing is where I expect it. Half of what I need is still at OUR house, I'm sleeping on the futon (so as not to disturb her) etc. I barely know what day it is most times. (Which would explain how the last post got published WITHOUT a title - now fixed)

BUT!!!!!!!

We move back home on Friday! YAY!

Peace

Super Bowl review

 


Yes it was a very good day to be a Steelers fan. I was a teenager when the Black and Gold went on their title run during the 70's. There was one year when every time my brother baked a cake on Sunday the Steelers won, when he didn't they lost. Every time. With one exception. One Sunday he baked brownies. And they tied.

I remember being in a bowling alley listening to the Immaculate Reception on the radio.

I remember how that whole region of the state rolls with the Steelers, more than the Bucs or the Pens.

It felt great watching the Coach and Mr. Rooney lifting the Lombardi.

And yes, there was a little tear in my eye.

Peace 

A thought on baptism and television

I was watching one of my favorite TV shows, "Lost", a couple weeks when the subject of baptism came up. If you don't watch the show the important details are these: Buncha people stranded on a remote island, facing a variety of problems, one young woman has delivered a baby and her friend had a dream which he believes tells him that the baby must be baptized.

Personally I think he's stretching that interpretation, the dream just tells him that the baby needs to be saved but there's a lot of Christian imagery running around loose in this dream too.

Now they have a Catholic "priest" there (that's a looooooooong story but I'll let him slide on how he "became" a priest. Let's just say it's not anything that the Pope is likely to approve of but we're going to roll with it). Mom brings baby to "priest" after a series of strange events (very Lemony Snicket) to be baptized.

Here's where I start having a problem. Not with infant baptism, though I know some folks don't believe in that. Rather it's the baptism as eternal fire insurance. Mom's not particularly Christian. Heck, neither's anyone else including the priest. There's no community of believers welcoming this child into their midst. It just made me wriggle in my seat. Yeah, there's a feel good, this is something I think I ought to do aspect to it but I'm past the point of being good with that.

I guess in the end it's like my Christmas rant. I want the church to take back our holidays and ceremonies. I want the stores out of the Christmas business, I want the government to do it's own marriage paper work and I want baptism back from the "doing the kid" mentality. Why do we let this nonsense go on? You want to share Christmas or baptism or marriage (in whatever form that community of faith understands those concepts)? Fine but it comes with an understanding and a certain commitment. No ill feelings if you're not into it, hey we appreciate the honesty.

But get yer mitts off our spiritual life.

Peace

Just befuzzled

My wife came home from the hospital today, one week and one day after having a total hip replacement. Ain't modern medicince wunnerful?

She's doing very well and even got in and out of the car fairly easily so I'm hoping she'll really get going on getting well now. She HATED being in the rehab facility.

Other than that I have multiple tasks to get caught up on and several things I want to write about but no time now!

Oh yeah and the Super Bowl is Sunday. Go Black and Gold!

Peace

And catching up to do

So many things going on...

The anniversary of the shuttle Challenger's explosion came and went last week. As someone who grew up during the true heyday of the space program it was a terrible event. I worked at a radio station and my desk was in the news room with most of the other announcers. They had the launch on the small TV that sat over the news desks and I was watching the vehicle climb. To this day I remember the last command given before the explosion "Go throttle up". I listen for it each time I watch a shuttle go up over the last 20 years. It didn't take an expert to see that something catastrophic had just taken place and I know that I cried out. The scene is still vivid in my mind. I try to remember to pray for all those who go where I would still dearly love to go. Into space.

My life as a bachelor continues. With my lady wife in the hospital following hip surgery (which went very well) and my daughter on a mission trip it's me and the two cats for just over a week. It's a great reminder of how much the rest of my family does around the house now that it all falls on me. I'm happy to report that I and the cats are surviving quite nicely thank you. Check back with me in a few days!

I know there were several other things I meant to share but they're eluding me at the moment. I did see a bumpersticker that made me both very angry and very sad simultaneously. I'll write about that soon.

Peace

A moment to breathe

I've just about run myself off my feet. So let me catch up.

First for Bill Johnson out at the Rocky Mountain News - How's Pittsburgh looking right now? It's a beautiful city this time of year.

Yeah, that was rubbing it in.

In the last week my wife has gone in for hip surgery (long story, short version is that this is a good thing) and my daughter has gone on a mission trip to Honduras. So it's me and the cats for about a week. We'll see how that goes.

Finally I continue to struggle with what this blog is supposed to be. I keep trying to seperate my private life and my faith life. Which I know is silly and just wrong. So I finally sat down and said "OK, let's stop worrying about what we're doing and figure out why"

And I think I have it. Deep in my heart of hearts I don't want people to think about me as a "minister" or "person of faith". Why? Because in my experience such people tend to be tight asses and boring and people who want to beat on you (one way or the other) with their faith. And I want no part of that image. That's exactly who I don't want to be.

Then it hit me - I am a minister and I am a person of faith and I DON'T whale on people with my faith and I don't think I'm a tight ass and I certainly try not to be boring and I hope that I've got some serious joy to share.

So that's what this is going to be about. Being me - a person of faith who's currently trying to minister to some of his fellow children of God who has the occasional drink and has been known to swear when appropriate (and yes there are perfectly appropriate times to cuss), who lives and loves and just generally enjoys the living daylights out of life as much as he can.

I'll keep talking about faith (although I will edit any sermons in the future. 15 minutes of talk is a LOT of print)and talking about the stuff that happens and what makes me craxy in this mized up world and what brings me joy.

And that other image can be sent straight to the shredder. Not wanted nor needed.

Peace

The Choking Game

Okay I'm way behind on things I want to post but this is more important. If you work with youth and haven't heard about the "Choking Game" then you need to read THIS from Tom Reindl at the Faith through Jesus blog. This isn't a joke or some overblown piece of hype. It's something we need to know about and to be ready to deal with because it's 1: Very Dangerous and 2: Very Stupid.

I remember mostly girls doing this same kind of thing when I was in elementary and junior high school so it's not even new. But depriving your brain of oxygen, for ANY reason, is something that we need to stand up and fight.

Other stuff coming tomorrow, I promise.

Peace

We Three Kings

Sermon for 1 Epiphany
I talked about the three kings that morning. This is an edit of the whole sermon

Now at this time of year when we speak of gifts our thoughts tend to leap to brightly wrapped packages under the tree but those are not the gifts that have been foremost in my mind. It is the gifts that all of us have both individually and collectively and how we deal with those gifts. The Magi present an interesting example of what to do with gifts.
It is the giving of our gifts that has been central in my thinking recently. Over the next year you're going to hear a lot of discussion about community in our diocese. Community is the at the center of the sharing of gifts. It is in community that we bring together whatever we have and offer it for the common good. Gifts are large and small and the only time that gifts do not work to the good of all is when we refuse to share them. And there's the hard part – sharing. Watch any group of two year olds together and you will see the perfect example of how not to share.

As I look at the place of young people in the Body of Christ the problem I see most often has to do with the sharing of gifts. Or rather the TROUBLE with the sharing of gifts. It is a problem on both sides of the equation too, both young people and adults. How often do things NOT happen because either the young people or the adults aren't willing to give up their time, their effort, their talents to make something work. Like the Magi we need to bring our gifts, lay them down and walk away. And in doing so we will discover that we walk away richer than when we began. As a community of faith we will make not only our lives but the lives of those around us richer as well.
So what gifts do we have to offer our young people and what gifts do they have to offer us? As the older brothers and sisters in Christ we carry with us tradition and inherited wisdom from those who have gone before us. This does not make us wise necessarily but rather makes us bearers of wisdom. That wisdom is not ours in any way shape or form. Rather it is gift that we have been given responsibility. Central to that responsibility is the requirement, not the option I believe, but the REQUIREMENT to pass it along, to share it, to teach it, to live it. If that wisdom is not freely and easily accessible to our younger brothers and sisters then of what use is it to them? In fact why should they even believe that such wisdom exists? Wisdom is a road map that says this way was tried before and this is what happened and this is why. So maybe you want to try a different way or at least try a different approach. It is also a tool that grows and remains sharp only when it is used.

I also mentioned tradition. I should note that mentioning church tradition to most teen agers will get you rolled eyes and an agonized moan. The reason for this is that too often they see tradition as manacles designed to stop them from doing things rather than tools that can make their journey easier. My contention is that sharing tradition means that we understand that tradition is a way of joining a community, a community not only of those folks we see here at St. Philip's on Sundays in the 21st century but also with the people who have worshiped in this community going back to its founding. And that our traditions make us members of a community that dates back through the history of our country, leaps back across the ocean to England and from that island to the earliest Christian communities in the Holy Land.

Here's one of my favorite traditions, the Book of Common Prayer. It is a rich resource for any person's life in faith but I think it is an especially valuable tool for a young person just beginning their walk with God. I will admit that upon occasion, when the sermon has not deeply touched me, I will explore the Book of Common Prayer in my pew. I have always felt that clergy would prefer that to me nodding off and snoring. What a wondrous book this is and yet one that many of us spend all too little time with most days. If you are a young person beginning a life in faith it can be hard sometimes to figure out what you're supposed to do or say. Young people tell me all the time that they don't know what to say when they pray. I tell them not worry, just look it up. (This book is filled with prayers for every occasion plus guidelines for history and even daily study of the Bible) I did a quick scan and found prayers for the Use of Leisure Time, for an election, for families and another for our enemies, plus one specifically for young people and even one on the proper use of God's gifts. Next time a young person needs to say grace remind them that there are no less than FOUR in the prayer book.

There are also traditions of love and support and healing and understanding that can give our young people the strength to carry on in a difficult world.

We must also remember that community is a two way street. What then are the gifts that our young people bring to us? As a group what gifts can they offer their community of faith?

I believe that the most important one is making us uncomfortable. The natural questions of someone who is exploring the world are exactly what we need to keep us thinking. It is far too easy to become comfortable, to simply walk our way through without pause or consideration. And because young people are not expected to know everything they can ask questions that maybe many of the adults would like to ask but are too embarrassed to admit they don't know the answer. Their questions become a gift when we allow ourselves to be drawn back into the process of discovery. Often we will find that in doing so we too discover something that we had forgotten or had never seen before. The questions continue the growth of the wisdom that our young people will then care for, preparing to pass it along to the generations that follow them.

Another of the gifts they bring to us is impatience. An impatience with waiting, an impatience with things that don't make sense. Because that impatience forces us to reassess what we're doing and how we do it. It forces us to decide what's important and what isn't. Their foot tapping, eye rolling, big sighs "Will you please get on with it" impatience makes us trim the dead wood away from our life in community. It's easy to live with somethings that really don't work any more simply because we're comfortable with them. Our young people will look at those parts of our life together insist that something needs to be done about them. When we find ourselves fighting to preserve every last button and dust mote we need to remind ourselves that while lighting the house with candles was certainly good enough for Jesus we really do have better ways of doing that today. Everything that we hold as traditions today was once a new and exciting change. Another historical aside – when the Book of Common Prayer was first created in England it was greeted with riots in some churches.

When we add in all the individual gifts that we each bring, be it music or cleaning or organization or preaching or teaching we find that we can live in a community of faith that is so rich and diverse that we may be dazzled by the possibilities Any humble home may become the center of great richness and joy.
Unlike the Magi we will not have to travel for years to find our goal, we will not have to inquire if we've found the right house.

Here is the house that you seek. You are the Magi the wise men and wise women, the wise young people and wise children bearing with you a multitude of gifts unimagined by those Magi two thousand years ago. Gifts still offered to the King of Kings. Not on one day only but now and forever.
Amen.

Some things require a response

In the past I have mentioned how impressed I've been with the people in the state of Colorado. In fact with the exception of my personal jinx at Denver's airport I've never had a bad thing to say about anyone or anything in that state.


That may have to change.

Bill Johnson is a columnist for the Rocky Mountain News. In a current column in preparation for the upcoming Steelers Broncos playoff game apparently he visited the 'Burgh (link to the column in the title). I say apparently because he refers to Pittsburgh (my home town) as "...one butt ugly town".

Apparently he was taken aback by the vociferous nature of Steelers fans. If you've never been around some of my homeboys it can be a little surprising. Pittsburgh is a FOOTBALL town. The Pirates? Nice. The Penguins? OK. Basketball? Well them Panthers seem to be playin some good ball. But Steeler football? You better step back and make a little room because there WILL be a demonstration. I can understand him being put off if he wasn't prepared.

I'm a little puzzled as to where he was staying since he says he was "...across the Ohio" from downtown. The Ohio flows straight away from downtown (or dahntahn as it's pronounced in my home country). If you're across a river it's either the Allegheny or the Mon.

But that to one side. "Butt Ugly"? I'm afraid I may have to set aside my preference for non-violent confrontation and ask Mr. Johnson to step outside. Quite simply Pittsburgh has one of the most beautiful skylines in the world. Several travel magazines over the last decade have agreed. Want the best view? At night, either on Mt. Washington (that would be across the Monongahela River from downtown Bill) or as you come through the Liberty Tunnels (or Tubes) from the south side of town. Check these out: 


or this:

 


Butt ugly? I see from his pic that Bill wears glasses (as do I). Time to either clean 'em or get them checked Billy boy.

The game this weekend should be a barn burner. Two great running teams with two great defenses. As a member of Steeler Nation I hope and believe that the Black and Gold will prevail.

And the next time Bill Johnson rolls into town I'll personally give him the grand tour and buy him a meal at Primanti's.

But only if he promises to get his eyes checked.

Peace 

You have WHAT kind of homework?

Saw this over on Marko's blog ysmarko and just about fell out of my chair! At what point did the teacher's brain stop working?

Porn homework

Peace

Whew! That's a relief!

A liberal but not a heretic..hmmm........

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451. Chalcedon compliant 100% Monarchianism 58% Nestorianism 50% Pelagianism 50% Monophysitism 50% Arianism 42% Adoptionist 33% Socinianism 25% Modalism 25% Gnosticism 17% Apollanarian 8% Donatism 0% Albigensianism 0% Docetism 0% Are you a heretic? created with QuizFarm.com

Peace

Welcome from Indy!

I'm in Indianapolis for the weekend. What a time for a native Pittsburgh boy to visit this fair city! The Colts are here tonight at the same hotel as me too! I have a Steelers sweatshirt that I'm probably going to wear tomorrow. The Patriots just lost as I type this.

I'm at a national Christian Ed conference in my denomination, nice folks but about as boring as it sounds.

Peace

A neat moment

I've suddenly got lots of ideas for blog entries! But I wanted to share this real life moment with you all.

I have a former youth, now a young adult who works at a business locally that I frequent. It's allowed me to stay in touch with him (unlike most of his contemporaries) The years since he left youth group have been tough. He's had several bad relationships, one of which ended up in a beautiful little girl. The mom has sometimes made his life pretty difficult. I've heard stories that this young man has had some problems with drugs as well. His financial situation has been up and down needless to say. Through it all I've just tried to stay in touch, say hello, ask about his daughter, whatever. He's been in my heart a lot over the years, hoping that this kid (I once gave him a letter of recommendation that said if my own daughter ever brought home a young man like him I'd be quite proud. I've never felt the inclination to change that assessment even when I knew he was in some very bad places)

Well I saw him again the other day. He told me about the new house he'd just bought, the better relationship he was in, how well his daughter was doing and the decision he'd made to get the "bad people" out of his life and focus on "the good people". I felt like cheering.

I didn't have anything to do with the immediate changes in his life. I can only hope that something I helped plant years ago helped him hang on and got him headed in the right direction.

I thank God for watching over this young man and will tap me on the shoulder if the time comes when I can help him again.

Peace

He's got a screw loose

The story link is in the title above.

Pat Robertson believes that God has been bumping off Israeli Prime Ministers. Yep, Ariel Sharon's stroke was a divine intervention.

My question? Too many to go into but the primary one is why do we pay any attention to Pat anymore?

Peace

Italian Court to determine if Jesus Existed!

Hokey Smokes Batman!

This is a for serious case between two Italian guys. The court has tried to make it go away but failed. Click on the title for the story.

I can hardly wait to see what they decide!

Peace

365+ to be an Episcopalian

The link to this site is in the title above, just click and go. It's an ongoing project involving Anglicans from all over the globe.

I love my tradition. Boy did I have to think about the wording of that sentence! There's plenty I don't love about my denomination, locally, nationally and worldwide. But I can't imagine being anything OTHER than a 'Piskie. The combination of protestant and catholic, the big tent on worship and belief.

Just thought I'd share. Not everyone will agree with every idea about being an Anglican. But that's a part of being an Anglican too.

Peace

Something for the end of the year

Always a good time to re-evaluate who you are and what you're doing. Guess I'm doing Ok but a little exercise and plate discipline would probably help.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.9
Mind:	6.3
Body:	5.3
Spirit:	7.2
Friends/Family:	7.2
Love:	7.3
Finance:	7.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Peace and Happy New Year

A Christmas thought

I take a moment to rise to the defense of a beloved part of my personal Christmas celebration. It has nothing to do with God and my spiritual life except that it brings me joy and it is a shared work within my family that draws us together at the holidays.

It's also one of the most universally derided parts of the season.


Yes, it's fruitcake.


Let me state from the outset that what most of you know as fruitcake, a sugar encrusted lump with a density just slightly less than lead is an abomination before the Lord. Do not send these things to one another, do not accept them from others. I refuse to even sniff such offerings.

Fruitcake in my family is home made. The cake exists only to the extent that it holds the fruit together. The fruit (this is the ONLY time that pineapple enters my mouth) is soaked in brandy then baked for hours in a batter of flour and spices. The result is a heavy cake (there's about 4 pounds of ingredients in our recipe) that is just brimming with flavors. The cake is then wrapped in cheese cloth and aged for about a month (I'm behind schedule this year so we're going to see if vacuum packing pulls more flavors out) occasionally sprinkled with more brandy. Then it is sliced and savored.

My brothers and I love it. Our wives and children haven't come around on it yet. That's fine, there's more for us!

When my mom passed away in October I realized that our loss could be compounded since she had taken on the fruitcake baking duties for the last several years. Please don't think that I'm saying the lack of fruitcake is somehow equal to losing Mom, it's not. But the first Christmas without Mom will be hard enough. I think it's vital that we maintain our traditions, the traditions that we were taught by our parents. In doing so they will continue to be with us. So over the weekend I broke out the monstrous mixing bowl she used and peered at the stained, hand written recipe.

The fruitcake's done now and beginning it's aging process. My mom and dad will be remembered in part this Christmas as I slice off that first piece of fruitcake.

So you can just take your fruitcake trash talk somewhere else. That don't play at my house.

In case I don't get a chance to blog again this week. A Merry Christmas to you all. Remember what the holiday is really about - God caring enough for his creation to become part of it. To walk with us, laugh with us, cry with us. And maybe even enjoy a bit of fruitcake.

Peace

My perpetual dance

A couple days ago I offered "A Few Thoughts at Advent". In that post I took to task several mega-churches who have chosen not to have a Christmas morning service. I mounted that high horse of mine again (will no one relieve me of this cursed horse?)and made some slighting comments about congregations who would choose to do such a thing.

I need to step back from some of that today. This seems to be the dance that I am perpetually involved in. Two sharp steps forward, one slow step back. I can only hope that in the end I will be found to have progressed through the steps.

First to acknowledge some personal biases. I'm not a big fan of mega-churches nor of the kind of worship commonly (though not always) found there. Having been raised an Episcopalian I like worship in groups up to a couple hundred, I like vested choirs and much (though not all) of the music of our Hymnal, I love the liturgy of our Book of Common Prayer. Contemporary Christian music is fun but it does not inspire in me a feeling of communing with the divine. My lady wife on the other hand loves it. With that in the background I tend to look a little askance at much of what goes on at places like Willow Creek. That is my failing not theirs and I need to own up to that.

After reading through a discussion on the subject elsewhere I find myself uncomfortable with my previous position. First because I think the attitude ill befits a Christian and second because it makes me a bit of a hypocrite. While I must say that personally I find the idea of "closing" church on Christmas morning inexplicable it doesn't give me the right to look down my nose at my brothers and sisters who have chosen to do so. As pointed out there is a significant body of history of the church that even supports such a decision. Christmas has not been universally celebrated throughout our history. Who am I to say "That's wrong", especially when I am known to resent the hell out of other Christians doing the same thing to me about MY piety? While I can't imagine it I change my stance to:
May God bless them in what they do that day, and
May God open my heart to greater compassion.

And the dance goes on.

Peace

Scariest test yet

This is the scariest of these online quizzes I've ever taken. Why? Because Math has been my bete noir since the fourth grade. I have deep seated resistance and fear issues when it comes to math. This is why I don't balance my own checkbook!

So this is entirely Len Evans fault (Len's blog Once I finished it and hit the button I wasn't sure if I wanted to know if I could pass 8th grade math. How embarassing would that be? Trusted with all these funds for youth ministry and can't do junior high math.

So here's the results:

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Yeah baby! Na, na na na nah, na na na nana na nana nah! I dance the dance of joy! I am victorious! My life is justified (in a non-theological way of course!)

I have faced my fear and whupped it!

Yes.

peace

A few thoughts at Advent

Two big stories in the news the last week or so having to do with preparations for Christmas.

First you may have heard that there's a campaign to "force"stores that have dropped Merry Christmas/Christmas sale for Happy Holidays/Holiday sales to go back to using Christmas.

If you see or get a copy of such a petition do me a favor - delete it, destroy it, throw it away.

The underlying logic seems to be that we need and want Christmas to associated with sales and shopping and gifts.

Wrong.

In fact I would ask ALL the retailers - leave Christmas out of it. While you have every right to run big sales this time of year the close association between merchandising and Christmas is destroying our religious holiday. I want Christmas back. If you're not celebrating the birth of the savior of the world please find something else to celebrate. What the heck, it's already been created. Festivus! Festivus sales and parties and whatever. Then maybe we Christians can really start focusing on the Christ child again.

And in a related story...

We have the various mega churches around the country (mega-churches if you're not familiar with the term are humongous congregations with membership in the thousands. They do everything BIG! That works for some folks but I'm personally not a fan) Several of the better known ones have decided NOT to have a Christmas morning service (which would be Sunday morning) because Christmas is a "family day". Apparently going to church isn't something you do on a family day.

Am I missing something here?

My home congregation WILL have a service Christmas morning (one instead of the usual two, and there's a baptism scheduled!) I'll be honest with you normally I'd be 50/50 on going that morning. Mostly because we do a midnight service and I do a live "narration" of it on a local radio station(being doing it for almost 20 years now). So I won't get home till about 1 AM and technically I'll have been at church on Christmas morning. This year my wife and daughter have duties that morning, and the family will probably like to get a video tape of the baptism service (I and a couple youth take turns operating our video system). We talked about it as a family and have decided that we're just going to sleep in, go to church and open presents AFTER!

Kind of a family day set of activities. I think the churches in question out to be ashamed of themselves and reconsider.

Peace

Just some filler

A silly spiritual test. Link is in the title above.

You are a Sage, characterized by a thinking or head spirituality. You value responsibility, logic, and order. Maybe that's why you were voted "Most Dependable" by your high school classmates. Structure and organization are important to you. What would the world be like without you? Chaos, that's what! Your favorite words include should, ought, and be prepared. What makes you feel warm and fuzzy? Like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof it's tradition! tradition! tradition!

Because you love words, written or spoken, you enjoy a good lecture, serious discussions, and theological reflection. Prayer for you usually is verbal. You thrive on activity and gatherings of people, such as study groups. Sages on retreat likely would fill every day with planned activities, leaving little time for silence or solitude.

We need Sages for your clear thinking and orderly ways. You pay attention to details that others overlook. Sages make contributions to education, publishing, and theology. You often are the ones who feel a duty to serve, give, care, and share with the rest of us.

On the other hand, sometimes you seem unfeeling, too intellectual, or dry. Can you say "dogmatic"? You may need to experience the freedom of breaking a rule or two every now and then. God's grace covers Sages too, you know!

I don't think most of this is particularly true but what can you say? It's just filling up space!
Peace

Go Navy!

I'm not a huge college sports fan. Basketball interests me very little (I wait till March Madness then root for all the little teams to pull upsets) and college football is much the same.

With one exception.

The Army Navy game. If it is at all possible I'm parked for that one. Sports the way it was meant to be played, for pride and honor. Disciplined athletes striving with one another for supremacy. I love it.

Plus I'm a Navy brat, sort of. My dad was on active duty on an aircraft carrier the day I was born. He was stationed in the Mediterranean so he was a long way away. (This is also why my family does not financially support the Red Cross, but that's another story). I didn't grow up with an active duty father, he went reserves by the time I was about 3 but I love the Navy and I have a big soft spot for the families back home.

Navy made it four years in a row. That means this years graduating class from West Point has NEVER been on a team that had beaten the Naval Academy. I've never been to Annapolis but I'd love to visit. My dad was an Officer's Candidate School graduate rather than a "ring knocker" (I know that's not necessarily a nice phrase but it's ingrained) but I still have the greatest respect for the Navy and Marine officers who come from the Academy.

Can hardly wait for next year.

2005 Navy 42 Army 23.

Go Navy! Beat Army!

Peace

Not helping ourselves

I start today with a big sigh. One of those big deep "Oh Lord WHY do we keep doing this?" kind of a sigh.

It all begins with two brothers in Christ, Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson.

(Right about now some of you are thinking "Oh boy, he's wading right into the quicksand on this one". Let me assure you that this isn't a diatribe against either of these two. That I don't agree on virtually anything with them probably isn't a terrible shock. But this isn't about any of those kinds of issues. Whether I agree with them or not they are brothers in Christ and that's where my problem is)

About a month ago I stumbled on Rush's show as I channel surfed the radio on a long drive. Normally I'd keep right on going but he was doing a rant about the court case concerning the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. What got under my skin was his repeated statements that atheist "hate God". It bothers me because that is absolutely NOT what the atheists I've known would say. A fair number of them hate the church and many of the members of the church (often with good reason). But they don't "hate" God. For them it would be like "hating" Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. You don't "hate" imaginary figures. And for them that's what God is, an historic figment of the popular imagination. One that they feel has been a stumbling block to humanity and civilization. While I certainly disagree with that assessment (the human institution known as the church has in its history been such a stumbling block but not God in my belief) it's dishonest to spin that into a hatred of God. Sadly it's a spin that I hear all too often.

Our other spotlight figure is the well known televangelist Pat Robertson. Pat has recently been quoted advocating the assassination of a foreign head of state and warning a town in Pennsylvania that God will abandon them because they voted out members of the school board with whom they disagreed. I hope I don't have to explain the ridiculousness of both those statements.

The part that bothers me most about them both is the damage done by such high profile Christians making such patently self serving statements to standing of the church within our society. And the even greater damage done to our ability to reach the unchurched when the rest of the Body doesn't call them on it. Allowing our faith to be represented as being intellectually dishonest, violent and power oriented makes the work harder. A fellow youth minister I know in passing recently asked his youth what the biggest stumbling block for them living as people of faith in their real lives was. The answer? Televangelists. I'd bet a large portion of ALL high profile Christians would probably also qualify. Allowing people of faith to be seen as buffoons, incapable of reasonable discourse or outright hypocrisy (which I believe the assassination statement to be for any Christian).

Do you believe that the words "under God" should stay in the Pledge? Good, go argue your case. But don't do it by mis-stating other people's beliefs in order to support your own. Think the President of Venezuela is a looney? Fine but don't claim that you find justification for killing a democratically elected head of state in the faith set forth by Jesus of Nazareth. And kindly don't use your pulpit as the stage for your opinion.

Either our faith is strong enough to endure on it's own merits, without subterfuge or disingenuous statements or it's not. And if it's not then the bright light of examination needs to be turned inward, not outward.

Peace

A time for Thanksgiving

Just time to stop and take a moment to give thanks.(Is that possible, Jay? This is the HOLIDAY season you idiot. You're supposed to be going full tilt, all out, push it past ten to eleven! I'll have more to say on that in a week or so)

What do I have to give thanks for?

I'm married to a remarkable woman who for reasons I have never comprehended loves me deeply.

I have an amazing daughter who is going to continue her journey to becoming a remarkable woman just like her mom.

I have two incredible brothers, a bunch of amazing aunts and uncles and cousins, nieces and nephews and other family members of various descriptions.

I have the memories and life lessons of two amazing parents. I miss them both deeply.

I have a group of friends who are smarter and more profound than I will ever be. And tiny little bits of them have rubbed off on me over the years.

I have not just a job (but that would be reason enough to give thanks) I have an amazing job that is also my ministry. And it's done with people young and old who humble me and inspire me virtually every day.

I'm healthy.

I live in a time and place that offers me an amazing array of opportunities.

I was going to say "I'm a member" of a great congregation. But I prefer to say I belong to a great congregation. I hope you understand the difference that makes.

I believe that God loves me and is watching over me. While still leaving me the discretion to make my own decisions. And loving me despite the stupid decisions I make on an appallingly regular basis. And I hope you understand how wonderful that is.

I have so much to be thankful I should feel guilty ever moaning, complaining, griping, or whining about anything else in my life.

Today I give thanks for every one and thing mentioned above. I can only hope that I am a fraction as much a joy in their lives as they are in mine.

Peace

Deep Thoughts by Gman

I'm adding another blog to my list over on the right here. This is one by a fellow youth worker who:

1: I think he is a great human being, and a great person of faith, and
2: Has some very good thoughts worth sharing, plus
3: It's not just a personal blog. I read several of those written by friends, and they're all very good. But this is part of my ministry, and while there are personal thing here as well I'm trying for something larger than just a personal journal. I think Gerrard succeeds at doing just that.

So check the Gman out. There's a link in the title too.

Peace

HAD to do this one

Yep this is the one I see myself as.



Numenorean


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

Peace

A learning process

Well I've done it again. I've reacted to something I read on the web as if I were getting the full emotional value of the message. In the short form of IM, or comment sections, or forums or even blogs the chance that you fully comprehend exactly what the author meant is pretty small. It happens all the time on every online community I've been a part of over the last five years. Suddenly a flame war breaks out, feelings are hurt, hard things are said. All over an understanding that was different than the original intent.

Today I did it to a guy I've never met but whom I know by reputation. And it's a darn good rep. Well known, well respected and well liked in youth ministry circles. Let's face it, he's a wheel and a Big Wheel at that. In the course of a commentary (with which I almost totally agreed )he took a little dig at something I care about deeply. I'm not even sure why it fired me up, but it did. It just seemed unfair and unnecessary and it TICKED ME OFF!

That should have been the warning sign. That someone who I know to be a decent guy probably DIDN'T mean it the way I was taking it. And that maybe I don't need to climb up on my high horse over it under any circumstances. (Question - why don't I sell that damn horse? It's nothing but trouble) That maybe I need to remember that rule number one on the web should be - Lighten Up.

But I didn't. So I sent him a rather frosty little note. Got just the tiniest bit nasty right at the end too. Hit that "Enter" key with just the right touch of righteous indignation (I'll throw that in with the horse for free if anyone's interested). Only to have him come back with a soft answer. A soft answer that made me feel pretty stupid. That's fine, I earned it. So I made nice and ducked out as gracefully as I was able.

It's not the first time. About three months ago I swore off some sports forums because, I'm ashamed to admit this, I was becoming exactly the kind of person I loathe. I was angry, and acerbic, and vicious. I made personal comments about people I'd never met. I finally read something I'd posted and became nauseous. It still horrifies me to think about it. Not to say that some of the folks weren't every bit as vicious. But I have no control over them. I thought I'd found a better person along my faith journey and really become that person.

Turns out I still have some traveling to do.

I've been a communicator all my life. I'm a story teller, trained as an actor, almost two decades as a radio personality. Human communication is only partly about the words. It's about inflection, timing, tone, tempo plus facial expression and body language. I learned that years ago, I've made my living most of my adult life using that very knowledge. Yet I keep forgetting how much info I'm NOT getting in this electronic community. I keep making assumptions about intent without that information.

And I keep making a jerk out of myself.

So Marko, I offer my apology. To the members of the AOL Pirates and Steelers boards I extend an apology as well. If I've done the same thing to anyone else on any of the other boards I frequent I ask that you accept this apology as well.

I promise I'll keep working me.

Peace

In memoriam

I've been putting off writing this for weeks now. I've used every excuse I could find. I'm even thinking about dragging out this intro so I don't have to write these words.

My mom died.

She had a good sized stroke and collapsed in her living room. The neighbors found her and called the ambulance. She lasted a while longer, never woke up and died in hospice. She died five years and one day after my dad.

I've told that story, usually with a lot more details about 200 hundred times. I've cried, I've been angry, I've been depressed. It feels like there's about three hundred details I need to be taking care of, and I'm not sure I've done any of them.

The following thoughts keep occurring to me:

I'm an orphan.
I'm 47, so I'm not really an orphan but I may just be an a##h#l#.
I just want all this...stuff...to go away.
I don't want any more sympathy.
I do want to feel sorry for myself.
I was probably an OK son.
But I still could have done more.
I'm actually sorrier for her (she won't see her grandchildren whom she adored graduate from HS or get married) than I am for me.
I'm not afraid of death anymore, but I'm pretty sure that dying sucks.
So I want to go quickly.
Between my wife's illnesses, my father's slow death over months and Mom's death I don't care if I ever see another hospital again.
That part of me feels guilty for hoping that she would die quickly. That's the first time I've acknowledged that feeling.
I probably still have a lot of processing to do about how I feel about this and what it means.

It means I'm the oldest living member of my immediate family. In days gone by that would make me the "head" of my family. Not sure I want that, and I'm pretty sure my brothers would have something to say on that matter. And that's fine. I don't feel like the eldest. I feel like a little kid.

A little orphan kid.

I love you Mom, and I miss you.

Peace

The further adventures...

Haven't mentioned my soccer playing of late. I am still toiling away at it. So far we're pretty horrible. Lost every game. My only highlight is that I've scored twice. So that puts me at two goals and two assists. Last week was something of a gimme, we were so far behind the other team was laying back on defense so I had lots of room. It was from an angle and I put it into the far corner so I did have to make the shot. Last night was a tip in on a shot through traffic by a teammate.

Our season high on goals last night too, 5. Lost 10-5 which is a pretty common score. Ref got mad at me at one point and I couldn't figure out why. Turns out it was a mis-communication. We each thought the other had said something else. Jeez, old, slow and now deaf!

I'm not sure I've ever been on a team this far off the pace of the rest of the league. And the rest of the league is younger and more skilled. I'll keep working at it. So far I haven't hurt myself or anyone else. Just got to keep in mind, I play for:

The Fun
The Exercise

The minute I lose track of that I'm likely to get hurt. Must remember. Old. Slow. Not very skilled.

Peace

The more things change

(The following is my column for the November issue of ChurchActs, our diocesan newspaper)

Adolescence and Middle Age.
In our culture these are the two great times of change, the two great passages in a persons life. I'm working through one and the young people with whom I work are making their way through the other. Over the summer I got started thinking about those two parts of life. What's amazed me was realizing how much they had in common.

Our bodies are changing That's the big one and it's scary at both times. A young persons body begins doing things, and feeling things that they've never had to deal with before. It's disturbing and the reaction from other people to those changes can be pretty scary too. Those of us who made it through can still remember suddenly feeling weird and not being sure why everyone else had decided to act so “weird too. The middle aged person's body is changing too and most of us don't like it one little bit. Things we've always been able to do are suddenly hard or even impossible. Just like our younger brothers and sisters our bodies are changing shape too. There are also days when we feel “weird” and aren't so sure about all the people around us.

Our lives are changing – Young people are preparing to grow up and move out. Adults are preparing to deal with a home that has fewer people in it. There are whole new categories of decisions to be made about our lives, our dreams and our expectations. At both ages we need to re-examine who we are and how we've changed. As a boy I wanted to be an astronaut, as a young man I had to take a serious look at what I saw in my future. Today I need to look again at what I saw in my future at 18 and decide what part, if any, of those dreams have been fulfilled, still await me in the future or need to be discarded altogether. Our financial situations are changing, our employment situations are changing, the level of responsibility is changing.

Our relationships are changing This may be the most frightening of all when it enters that pivotal relationship of parent and child. The younger person is trying, often straining and fighting, to move away from their old relationship with their parent. It's a necessary and vital transformation but it involves great risk as well. The comfortable safety net of parental back-stopping gradually diminishes, increased responsibility for decisions and outcomes can be a heavy burden. (And one that parents often try to soften for their children. It's an incredibly bad parental decision in my opinion but that's for another column) Moving out and growing up are exhilarating and exciting experiences but they come with uncertainty as well.
The change for the middle aged person is just as daunting even when the changes are in the reverse. As our parents age often it is the children who must accept more responsibility for that relationship. We become the safety net for our parents and in many cases move into a “parental/caregiver role for them as they did for us in childhood. When the person you have looked to all your life is now looking, even beseeching you for guidance and direction powerful emotions are brought to the surface. They can range from sadness to anger to uncertainty to determination. Freud believed that no one became an adult until their parents died. That transition is no easier simply because we've had so much “practice being adults.

In the end my hope is that young person and adult can look at one another with greater empathy as we each travel our assigned portion of the journey. Very often as young people we assume that adults have it together (even if it's a pretty bizarre together) and that it's "“easier"” some how to be a grown up. Adults will too easily discount the pain and struggle of the transitions and transformations of growing up. The world our youth face is more complicated than the one in which we grew up. The choices they face are similar to ours but come with many more permutations and penalties.
Together we can comfort, counsel and guide one another through the hard parts. We can pray for one another and above all LOVE ONE ANOTHER. For through that love we give the greatest assistance, strength and support that there is.

The French have a saying that translates as "The more things change, the more they stay the same". As we walk through life it's important to remember that.

Peace

In the unlikely event...

That ANYONE would ever confuse me with a saint.


You are Julian of Norwich! It's all about God, to
you. You're convinced that the world has a
happy ending. Everyone else is convinced that
you're a closet hippie, but you love them
anyway.


Which Saint Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

That I have anything in common with a 14th century mystic nun who lived as a recluse is enough to make me want to go and lie down for a while. By myself. Hmmmm, I'll let you know if I have any visions!

I promise some more serious blogs soon, I'm working on several.
Peace

Happy Halloween!

Don't know what your plans are for Halloween this year but you may hear from some folks how terrible Halloween is and how evil. I want to take a minute to step back and take a look at that.

Halloween is a contraction of a three word phrase "All Hallows Even(ing)". In other words the night before All Hallows day. All Hallows can be "translated" to All Saints. So this is the night before the day when we remember all the saints that have lived before us. Doesn't sound so bad does it? All saints day is a Christian holiday that goes back many centuries. Like many of the days on the Christian calendar it doesn't get the attention that it should. But more on that in a second.

So what's the flap about? Well part of it has to do with the date chosen. Several dates on the Christian calendar were chosen to fight against pagan customs. In Halloween's case it was a festival of the dead called Samhain in the British Isles. Christians took the pagan holiday and "baptized" it. (We did the same thing with the date for Christmas which overlaps an old Roman pagan holiday. This is also why the Easter Bunny exists and why we have evergreens like a christmas tree at Christmas time) We "tame" the bad things (vampires and ghouls)by making them silly. The tradition of giving food to keep them from misbehaving is now candy and "Trick or Treat".

So is all this "stuff" about the supernatural just silly and to be ignored? No. As Christians we believe in the supernatural and recognize that it has its dangers. So does everyday life in this world. While I personally think things like the Tarot and Ouija are frauds I recognize that they can be used to bring great evil into people's lives. I also recognize that the powers of evil have used even the Bible to bring great evil into people's live as well. The difference is that the Bible is a much greater source of light and life and good, while Ouija and Tarot (and the like) are just pointless and silly.

So go out and enjoy yourself this Halloween. But remember two things:

Take your faith out with you. It'll keep you out of trouble (just like every other day) Halloween isn't a vacation from living a life in faith.

And tomorrow, take a few minutes to remember a saint. Can't think of any? Then take an extra moment and look one up. Some wonderful people have walked this path before us. We should take a few moments once a year to remember them and learn from them.

Peace

Yeah another dopey quiz

Things have been busy, I'll share with you why in a bit. In the meantime...



You are Rerun!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I honestly expected to be Linus.

Peace

Another silly one

Yeah it's silly but my cyborg name came out pretty cool and very appropriate. At my age I'm certainly an "artificial youth" and it's all about the journey isn't it?








Peace

Friday update

Mentioned before the indoor soccer in my life. Last night was interesting.

I spent the day (my extra day off)sanding drywall and painting. Lots of bending and stretching and general manual labor. I remember now why I don't like manual labor. It's hard work! So I was a little stiff and a bit tired when I rolled into the Y last night.

And who was waiting for us? A bunch of just out of HS (some maybe not even yet)varsity players with a couple of all county type thrown in for good measure. In other words players who have no business in this league (co-ed recreational). They thrashed us 12-0. I've never had any delusions about my level of play but last night was one of the few times when I felt utterly incapable of playing. It's frustrating and took the fun completely out of the game.

The problem is that while the players grumble among themselves I'm not sure anyone's ever actually complained to the Y. That'll change with yours truly. My suggestions will be two fold:

An outright ban on power league players (yes there's a separate league for this skill level but it starts later than the rec league). If they play rec league during the program year they are ineligible to play power.

or

they can play rec but not as a team. They have to be divided up among all the teams.

or

they just offer power league earlier.

We'll see what comes of it.

Peace

Why Lord?

This is my column from the October 2005 edition of our diocesan newspaper ChurchActs

As I write this (in early September) the full scope of the Hurricane Katrina disaster is just becoming clear. I've only learned today that all the members of my family are safe and out of New Orleans. Prayers of thanks for my family and prayers for the safety of everyone still in the city are the order of the day. Inevitably out of events like this a couple things happen. Certain groups begin to shout how God has expressed his anger through the storm and many people begin to wonder why/how God allows things like this happen.
As for God's involvement in “sending” storms and earthquakes and plagues to punish us I must admit to having a problem with the concept. That God is able to do such things is beyond question but that the Lord chooses to do it strikes me as inconsistent with his post-Easter relationship with his creation. Could this all be part of a larger plan? Sure. But it dawned on me several years ago that God's plans are probably way beyond my pitiful understanding. I'm willing to assume that the God who calls me “beloved” has a plan that is beneficial to creation in the long run. Personally I fall somewhere between believing in a God that micromanages every part of my (and everyone's) life and a God that got the world spinning then walked away.
So where's does that leave the questions from the beginning of my column? The honest answers are: I don't believe God “sent” Katrina, and I don't know why or how he chooses to let these things happen. I simply know that bad things do happen both on the large scale and the small. The more important question for us as a people of faith is how do we react to them? Our reaction to the “bad things” that happen tell us a lot about how deeply our faith has etched itself in to our lives. I believe that God is very interested in how we react to what happens in our lives.
God's challenge to us has less to do with being caught in the great disasters of our time than it does with being caught in the little ones. How will we react when we see suffering, when we are confronted with injustice, when we are surrounded by selfishness. When we open our eyes we discover that bad things happen every day to people all around us. Whether it's the victim of the school bully, a frightened child, a confused adult or someone just having bad things happen to them (a car breakdown, an emotional upset, the loss of someone or something important to them) I believe God watches us. It's not so much that God creates tests for us as that he knows that tests abound.
I wrote earlier this year on my blog about watching a young man struggle through the slush and snow of late winter with a long line of grocery carts. That's his job, to return those carts from the parking lot to the store. It dawned on me that I had never really looked at folks like these. He wasn't getting rich working at the grocery store and this job had to be pretty awful that day. And I could make his life a little easier or a little more miserable. Not a lot, just a little. It would be easier for me because I didn't want to be out in that weather either. My faith had etched itself deeply enough into my life that the easy answer wasn't going work anymore.
That large disasters like the hurricane bring out the best in us is fine. I believe we need to keep our eyes open every day. We need to remember the passage where Jesus talks about serving him when we help the hungry and the naked that surround us. Our society pushes us into every more self involved behaviors. We isolate ourselves from our daily life and those in them. In doing so we miss our chances to be agents for positive change in the world. We either ignore or simply insulate ourselves so that we do not see the bad things. How could we have made the day easier for someone with just a word, or a smile?
We ask why does God let bad things happen. How often do we choose to behave in a way that makes God ask us the same question? I can't stop the storms, large or small. Of course that's not my job.

Something new...sadly

If you've visited before and posted a comment you'll note that I've added a security feature that makes leaving a comment slightly more annoying (hopefully only slightly). You'll now have to verify you're a real person by copying a security code. The reason for this is that I'm getting spam comments. The first batch was just annoying and I figured I'd just edit them. The latest was totally inappropriate so I have to defend myself and my readers.
Hope you understand.
As for the spammers, I think you're dirt bags.

Peace